Pairs Division: Cruise and Kurylenko
It’s always weird seeing someone like Tom Cruise doing a photocall in Moscow. Hasn’t he been shown blowing up significant portions of Moscow throughout his career?
Maybe that’s why they made him stand out on a roof in miserable weather.
HE: Is a joke. We’re sorry, the lifts, the tight jeans that give him ladyhips, the carefully constructed (and thus never-changing, even after decades) “regular guy” style from someone who has no idea what it’s like to be a regular guy – it all just grates on our nerves to no end, probably because we know his outfit was as carefully chosen as hers was. It’s all such a facade; so old school in the way he presents himself to the public. There’s nothing wrong with what he’s wearing, technically. It’s just that it’s designed to be as blandly inoffensive as possible and that shit’s like nails on a chalkboard to us. Score: 4/10.
SHE: On the other hand, looks the very picture of Soviet-chic. That dress is adorable and looks really great on her. We love that she kept the shoes simple and that she wore sheer hose, even if it does look like she’s got a couple runs. Love the hair on her – because we don’t think we’d love it on every gal – and her makeup is perfectly daytime fresh and picture-ready. She wins this round hands down. Score: 8.5/10.
Combined Score: 6.25/10. Tom, no one’s going to think you’re gay if you wear a blazer and a decent pair of shoes. They’ll think you’re gay for a whole host of other reasons, none of which can be addressed by dressing like a math teacher.
[Photo Credit: Getty]