Jessica Biel in Elie Saab

Posted on April 19, 2013

So we tried to watch last year’s Total Recall remake while waiting for Project Runway to start last night. It was somewhere just around the thirty minute mark that we turned it off in disgust, saying, “Who the hell thought it was a good idea to cast Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel in the same movie? It’s like a black hole for charisma.”

Having said that, she looks really gorgeous here.


Jessica Biel attends the Tiffany & Co. Blue Book Ball at Rockefeller Center in New York City in an Elie Saab gown accessorized with Tiffany & Co. jewelry.

Elie Saab Fall 2013 Collection

Well. To be more accurate, that dress looks really gorgeous. Not that Jessica is without her charms, but the dress is really doing all the work here. She didn’t choose very interesting hair or makeup to go with it. In fact, the more we look at it, the more her face kind of grates on our nerves. This was not the time to go clean and color-free; not when you’re dripping diamonds at a Tiffany event and wearing a gorgeous, deep blue gown. Everything says night time except that face, which is “meet you for lunch.”


[Photo Credit: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images,]

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  • But the bangs are gone! Best she’s looked in ages.

    • Jen

      I was literally about to say that. Ugh. Those bangs.

      • demidaemon

        Agreed one hundred percent.

    • DebbieLovesShoes

      That was my very first thought — “Halleluyer! The booms are gone!”

  • What a waste of a pretty hair doodad too.

  • The dress took me a minute, but I’ve come around to it. I suppose it looks fine on her, she’s just 6 feet of “meh”, so it’s hard to muster up the energy to form an opinion.

  • I’m with the duo on this one. The dress is gorgeous. It seemed like Jessica and/or her stylist just decided to eff everything else (bland makeup, bland accessories) and just focus on the dress. Not a great move.

    • Sobaika

      I don’t even think makeup would’ve helped. She’s sort of vacant behind the eyes…? I get that posing for a bunch of screaming photographers doesn’t come naturally to most people but come on.

      • poggi

        That’s true it is a major part of her job.

  • That bracelet is gorgeous. She looks okay.

  • What is this no lipstick trend? Maybe there should have been some focus on Jessica’s eyes, but there’s nothing… she looks so washed out!
    The dress is gorgeous.

  • Jessica RoweRock

    No booms! No booms!

  • decormaven

    Love the jewels and dress, but yes, that’s some pedestrian maquillage. And shoot, if you scored a hair adornment and bracelet from TCo, why not get some earrings as well?

    • “pedestrian maquillage” – what a wonderful expression!

      • decormaven


  • eowyn_of_rohan

    I’d wager her face still looks better than the homicidal cyborg makeup on the model.

    • carnush


    • drdarke

      Yes, @eowyn_of_rohan – but the model is at least showing off her legs in the outfit, which Our Miss Biel isn’t even bothering with.

  • selianth

    Part of the reason this works is because the color goes very nicely with the background. I always feel bad for the celebs whose dresses clash badly with what’s going on behind them.

    • MilaXX

      All the celebs wore blue to this event

  • Meg

    What are you smoking. She looks amazing

    • We’re smoking that stuff that makes us type things like, “she looks really gorgeous here.”

      • Nelliebelle1197

        I want some of that stuff.

  • MilaXX

    I give her credit for finally getting rid of those bangs, but agree she needed stronger makeup. Still, no bangs….YAY!

  • AndresB

    There’s nothing drearier than ambition without talent.
    In her case, this goes both for trying to be an actress and trying to pull off couture.

  • carnush

    Yep, that’s my everyday, going to work face. She looks pretty but a rich raspberry lipstick would have been really nice with the dress.

  • PeggyOC

    That is the right line for her more athletic, boyish body type. She and Hillary Swank need to both work with a stylist who knows how to dress that body type. I would have liked it if she ran a comb through her hair and splashed on a bit of lipstick, but as her default lip often goes to “too much and the wrong red”, I suppose this might be better.

  • Martha Jones

    NO MORE BOOMS!!!!!!!!!!

    I’m really digging the jeweled decoration in her hair.

  • m0r0

    PUT SOME COLOR ON YOUR FACE LADIES. For goodness sake you look like a corpse without it. Brown beige, greyge. Drab and sad. Except the gorgeous dress.

  • you forgot Shia le Boeuf. For the ultimate charisma vacuum. Oh dear. It’s hard to love someone’s look if you know they have no talent. I’m weird that way.

  • crash1212

    Bangs are gone – if for no other reason, that gets this outfit two thumbs up.

  • Little_Olive

    I don’t think hair would have done either. She is not cut for this feminine, flowy dresses with princess-y hair. I kinda don’t buy it.

    Sorry, Jessica. Go back to the ass-hugging designs.

  • poggi

    I think she blew an opportunity to werq it. The dress is great and great on her. Like so many others have noted, her hair looks better. The jewelry choices are very nice. The whole thing could have been a great ensemble where you noticed her first and foremost and then everything else complimented her but didn’t overshadow her or pull too much focus. But the ‘no makeup’ makeup just really makes her recede into the background.

  • poggi

    Ha, Total Recall. One of the most unnecessary remakes ever (right up there with the Women and Red Dawn).

  • Janet B

    She looks pretty.
    The lack of color on her face is odd given the beauty of her dress and jewelry.

  • No bangs! This is the closest to a “Werq” she will ever get.

  • ChaCha_70

    Ugh, the nude lip is driving me nuts. If she just would’ve worn a beautifully rich color on her lip, it would’ve been a werq for me!

  • tereliz

    Forget the horrible casting for a minute: why would you remake Total Recall and NOT go to MARS?!!

    *ahem* /geekout freakout over/

    Maybe I’m biased because I’ve never like La Biel in anything she’s ever done, but I think her eye-makeup makes her look tired and her lippy makes her look pale and dowdy. You should not look DOWDY when you’re weighed down with this much bling. And is her hair more highlighted than it’s been lately? I think it looks better darker and shinier, with less texture. This looks like bridesmaid hair.

  • So much side boob.

  • stubbornthoughts

    It looks like she ran out the door and actually FORGOT to put on her makeup.

  • Qitkat

    As good as she has ever looked. Dress and jewels are stunning.

  • filmcricket

    Looking at that bracelet actually just made my mouth fill up with water. God, I love diamonds and sapphires together.

    That’s one of the best dresses she’s worn in a long time. It satisfies her preference for sheer while showing off her impressive shoulders and waist. Colour’s good for her, too. But yeah, that make-up job is exceedingly meh.

  • another_laura

    At least she pinned back the booms.

    That dress is so so beautiful!

  • I think the dress is very nice, although it looks better “in motion” than it does while static. But the biggest “hooray” is reserved for Jessica’s forehead! No bangs is the way to go, sweetie. And now that we can see your face, please put some makeup on it.

  • Sunraya

    I just love that it took a Tiffany clip to get those bangs off her face!!!!

  • Imasewsure

    I’m not a makeup girl so I kind of appreciate this look. Think she looks beautiful and tasteful (which is a nice change)

  • nannypoo

    She’s pretty but so bland and boring. Lipstick would go a long way. That is also an ugly nail color. Justin Timberlake, whatever one might think of him, is lively and full of personality, and she is a walking snooze-fest. A very odd couple.

  • warnerave


  • teensmom99

    She’s boomless!

  • But, somehow she took all the movement off by getting rid of the transparent feeling it has on the runway. She is also a bit plain on her look ( hair, make up). She really is quite ordinary, I think.

  • formerlyAnon

    She looks like a perfectly pleasant, unexciting, well-dressed woman. Also like one of the off-brand [not]-Barbies that never were quite as skinny or as pretty or as elegant as the real thing.

  • TheAmericaness

    Biel may look washed out, but Bono is working it on the runway….

    • jetpackdino

      Hey would you have a link to that by any chance? I would so love to see it. Big fan.

  • mhlmh

    I don’t know, I kind of like the plain makeup. I think she looks really beautiful. The main thing is that the bangs are gone.

  • Fordzo

    I’m just glad to see she got rid of the ba-booms. (Those thing were way past just booms.)

  • ccm800

    They really need to just throw this one back in the ocean. She is not going to happen.

  • Laylalola

    I also didn’t even bother finishing the Total Recall remake. WTF is wrong with Hollywood?

  • Mary229

    I’ve always thought she was gorgeous. She is just a terrible actress. But yes , this look is amazing.

  • Everything is gorgeous EXCEPT that she needs more color on her face.

  • aahlife

    All I can focus on when I see her face is her ill defined lips, especially the top one. Maybe that is why she usually does not apply a strong lip color. She is still a beauty, but her original lips were so very pretty and proportional to her face. I find it sad that so many stunning women feel the need to change their features to what is currently is deamed ideal.

  • raininmai

    With a face like hers, less makeup is fine. She looks gorgeous.

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    A darker lip and fake lashes would have made this a ‘WERQ’ for me. She looks so much better with her hair off her lovely face.

  • ellabob

    Saw her at the dog park here in NYC a few days ago – she is actually prettier in person…love the dress.

  • Totally agreed that there is no there there, but thank fucking Maude she got rid of those awful booms. I’m tempted to give her an IN just for that alone, so long as she doesn’t bring them back.

  • At least we can see her face! Hallelujah, she got rid of the “booms”.

  • MissAmynae

    throw in a darker brow powder, and a blue-based fuschia lip? perfection.

    As is, she looks great. Lovely really.

  • I think she’s one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I like her as a blonde better but she doesn’t need bangs to enhance her face. I don’t think she’s ambitious; I think she’s happy in love.

  • kathrineb

    Beautiful. I love this look! She finally listened and got rid of the horrendous bangs. I really like the natural look on her too.

  • bellafigura1

    I respectfully disagree with the uncles here. I think the low-key make up is the way to go with her, she’s all big lips and eyes and teeth. Not to mention, letting the ice shine. Maybe a slightly pinker lip, rather than this nude, but I think she looks fantastic.

  • MarinaCat

    “Black hole of charisma” just killed me dead. That’s the type of commentary that made my 15 year old son a TLo fan by proxy.

  • guest2visits

    She is very pretty but that dark, dark dress needed a more dramatic face to balance. She’s wearing it as though it was a
    casual summer frock, with diamonds. TLo’s right – needed a more polished look for the face.

  • Nude lipstick & a navy dress just don’t go together in my mind. Navy is such a flattering color it’s the perfect time to put some color on your face.

  • Kudos to you guys for getting through 30 minutes of Total Recall. I had trouble getting through the trailer.

  • librarygrrl64

    At least the booms are gone!!!