Jennifer Aniston in Christian Dior

Posted on April 17, 2013



Jennifer Aniston attends the premiere of ‘Call Me Crazy: A Five Film’ in West Hollywood, California in a Christian Dior tuxedo-style top and shorts paired with a Tom Ford clutch and Jimmy Choo heels.

Christian Dior Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Kati Nescher (VIVA)

Out Bitter Kittens are not inclined to like formal shorts, judging by the myriad comments that amount to “I fucking hate formal shorts.” We don’t actually mind them, but we think they’re not for every gal. Jen is definitely a gal who shouldn’t attempt them. Not because she’s too old to wear them or somehow doesn’t have the right body. In fact, she’s got the perfect body for them. But her whole style – if you can call it that – is the beachy, tan, California Blonde. You put a pair of high-end shorts on her and it doesn’t matter what else she wears, she’s going to look like she’s ready for a walk on a boardwalk somewhere. In other words, they go instantly casual on an over-tanned blonde.

The hair’s really cute, though. But the outfit doesn’t flatter in the slightest. Maybe she’s floating baby rumors by wearing something that goes all maternity on her.

NOTE: We have no idea what Jennifer Aniston’s middle name is and no real interest in taking the 5 seconds to find out, but when you’re really mad at someone, it’s always fun to shout their name and add “Maria” to it. Even the men in your life.  Especially the men in your life.


[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans,]

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  • hmariec19

    Why… why do her boobs have wings?

    • Kate

      Yes! I used to have a pin from an airline pilot for flying alone as a child in the exact same shape as her boobs. How special.

      • lovelyivy

        I had that pin too. Oh the memories.

    • TheAmericaness

      Because if you love your boobs you must set them free…

      • Kate

        Fly away my little bebes, fly!

  • Diego!

    WTF????????????????? Go back to Dior and ask for forgiveness!!!

    • Precisely! They should be cringing in their ateliers right about now. She needs to prostrate herself before them.

      • Diego!

        I agree.

  • I couldn’t stand it and had to google… it’s Joanna.

  • growing up in a Francophone community, there were (and are) plenty of dudes with “Marie” for a middle name, so this totally gave me a giggle.

    • MoHub

      Throughout Europe, as a matter of fact. Think Carl Maria von Weber.

      • Winter_White

        Rainer Maria Rilke

      • Itn just always seems so incongruous to see a good ol’ Albertan farm boy, with his Fox Racing ball cap and hockey jersey with Marie as a middle one (one of many middle names, usually)

  • The ONE time she actually wears a different hairstyle….she f*cks it up by wearing upholstery from the couch in the living room of the Adams Family.

    UGH!!!! Out! Out! You fashion demons of discontent!!!

  • Oh no oh no OH NO. It’s not even that it doesn’t look good on her. That top wouldn’t look good on anyone who isn’t 5 months pregnant.

  • clatie

    The shorts aren’t even the worst part. The fit on that top is HIDEOUS. It makes her look frumpy and lumpy and, if there is one person who is neither of those things, it’s her.

    Jenn, FIRE WHOEVER LET YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE IN THIS. They obviously hate you.

    • Sobaika

      On the bright side, her hair people did good. Okay, that side isn’t bright as much as it’s dull and gray but still.

      • barbarienne

        Yes, but often her hair people are harming her look. The bar is pretty low for them, but they cleared it easily on this one.

    • The style is clearly meant for a smaller chested woman because OMG it’s puckering out on her and is looks truly awful.

  • Carol Stevenson

    The shoes on the runway model are something really special.

    • carnush

      I love these Dior shoes. So beautiful.

    • Deb_Lynn

      I love them. Sadly, Fergie just tarnished their shiny name with the weird getup she was in. TLo posted a whiteboard on it yesterday.

  • Oh, what she did to that dress is a sacrilege!!!

  • Jessi03

    Why would you do that to us first thing in the morning?

  • SugarSnap108

    Jennifer Maria Aniston, why did you add WINGS to your boobs? (At least I can’t detect any on the model.)

    The shorts are actually the best part of this, I think. With the backdrop, it’s hard to see the fit of the top, but it looks pretty awful.

  • abish

    Not gonna lie, I don’t think this is that bad. It’s typical Jen, and the look fits her. The fit could definitely be better, but on the whole I don’t really care that she completely changed a pretty basic Dior look to begin with.

  • Laylalola

    Oh God I just can’t with her anymore.

  • Carol Stevenson

    With yelling middle names, by the way: for women it’s Jane and for men it’s Charles.

    • My friend and I used Beatrice. It’s fun to yell with mock indignance.

    • ewes_urn_aim

      I don’t know when it started, but I use “Van Buren” (the 8th President). It seems to work for both sexes AND my cats!

      • Winter_White

        Hee. Makes me wonder if your cats have people-names, like ours — or if you are often heard yelling things like “Whiskers Van Buren!” or “Fluffy Van Buren!” Stinkerbell Van Buren, stop chewing that power cord…

        • ewes_urn_aim

          One is named Mimi and it seems to roll off the tongue perfectly (especially when she’s up to her hijinks lol)- I like the sound of “Stinkerbell Van Buren” … maybe for my next shelter-rescue kitty?

          • Jenna

            Sigh. You just caused me to lose a long standing war with my husband… HE says it’s Mimi, ~I~ say it’s Mei-Mei and we’ve been at a stalemate for months now. But he’s now smirking and pointing at the screen and is about to bounce off to play with…. Mimi. I give up. It’s fine, I’ll just stick to her middlename of Bunny (short for Bunnicula – she has tiny baby fangs delicately poke out 24/7, is terrified of bright lights and digs veggies out of the fridge for chew toys. It seemed appropriate.) ~looks around and makes sure her spouse is gone~ between you and me? Mimi IS a damn cute name. But I’ll go to the rack before I admit it to my husband!

          • ewes_urn_aim

            My Mimi used to be spelled MeeMee but the Vet spelled it with i’s so that is what stuck. So blame my vet lol. Btw, your cat sounds freaking adorable!

        • Jenna

          Well, now I feel slightly less crazy for multiple names. Slightly being the main theme, but still lovely! Mine all have middle B names (Bunny, Baby, Bibby, Bugs – to go with Mei-Mei Bunny, Harlequin-Esmerelda Baby, Pandora Marie Bibby, and Luna Ma-Bugs) for those moments when they have just peed on the white suede couch. Again. (Thank god for steamcleaners). One thing though – be careful yelling people-type cat names near open windows. I once yelled at 2 of my girls “Damn it, Harlequin & Luna, it’s not the lesbianism I mind, it’s the freaking incest that’s creepy!”… and it was 2 months before my neighbor let their kids talk to me for thinking something seriously freaky was going on in my home. I still think the names weren’t people ENOUGH but apparently as names get more creative, you have to take care.

          • Winter_White

            Haha, Jenna! Our first was a tiny beautiful 7-week-old kitten, all white. People — well, people who didn’t really know us — kept saying, “Aww, I’ll bet his name is Snowball.” (Gah.) No, we’d reply cooly, his name is MATTHEW. It was so entertaining to watch their doubtful faces as they peered at this handful of soft white fluff and whiskers and blueberry eyes. “Matthew…??”

          • Jenna

            Not sure if it’s the migraine meds finally hitting (high of 84 Thurs – tonight we’re getting lows in the 33 range. I loathe NE Ohio at the moment, it’s doing a serious number on my cranium.) or what, but the fact you named a tiny ball of white puff Matthew…. just makes me grin like an idiot and want to send you cookies. “Snowball” is fine if you have kids who insist, or it was given to the critter by previous (and uncaring) owners or possibly if you find yourself in the midst of a white puff panic (happened to an aunt of mine once. Terrible thing but she’s doing much better these days now they figured out the right dosages) but otherwise… it’s just… it’s… it’s what you would name a stuffed animal. Not a pet that will become a member of the family. But ~MATTHEW~ is simply warming the cockles of my heart.

          • Winter_White

            Thanks. He grew into the most perfect Matthew ever there was…and always insisted on being addressed as Matthew. When we called him “Matty,” he knew we meant him but would refuse to acknowledge us. Even if we were calling him for FOOD! Which greatly impressed me — because I’m one of those “call me anything, except late for dinner” types. (Did you say…cookies!!??) 🙂

            He died 2 years ago today, at age 16-1/2. Our beautiful, loving, blue-eyed boy.

            Hope you’re feeling better on this cooler day, Jenna!

      • Sarah

        For cats, I just go with initials. All four of my cats have “T” for a middle initial. As in “Clyde T Hutchinson, if I catch you pooping outside the box again, your ass is grass, mister!” And yeah, all my cats have people names – all my pets ever, actually. Never crossed my mind to give ’em, uh, not-names.

        • ewes_urn_aim

          One of my cats’ has a “human” name but the other one is called Martian because we always say he came from another planet. He’s a wee bit crazy! lol

    • Cautiously Pessimistic

      I use Louise. No idea where that came from.

    • Jellybish

      I use Renee for both sexes.

  • Janet B

    Her makeup and hair look nice.

  • carolynmo

    What’s going on with her upper back? Wow, this isn’t the right outfit at all!

    • carnush

      It looks like maybe she had cupping marks and then tried to cover them up?

      • Little_Olive

        I saw the marks too but had no idea what to blame them on. Can someone enlighten me on this “cupping” thing?

    • filmcricket

      Okay, I’m not the only one who saw that. Remember years ago when Gwynnie wore a strapless dress “accidentally” showing off her cupping marks, and everyone said how pretentious she was? Poor Jen can’t even be first at showing off a ridiculous health trend.

  • Dress shorts? It looks like a high-end romper.

    • VeryClaire

      And since there is no such thing as a “high-end romper”, we’ll just call that a NO.

  • I mean, the shorts aren’t really that offensive… It’s just…. I guess without the correct styling it just sort of reads like a frumpy swimsuit.

  • conniemd

    I irrationally hate Jennifer Aniston because she always plays an angst ridden woman in her movies. BTW she looks dumb in this outfit. She should be filled with angst looking so silly on the runway.

    • Have you ever seen her on a talk show? She defines shallow and self-absorbed.

  • gsk241

    And then Dior issued a cease and desist…

    • butterflysunita

      How could she do that to that perfectly lovely Christian Dior LBD? What did the dress do to deserve that?

  • TheLaurenJean

    Well, I for one am glad that she did wear the shorts and not just the hacked off corpse of a dress/shirt by itself, as is. That I could not forgive.

  • imspinningaround

    Is my screen dirty or is that garment covered in stains? Tailor’s chalk marks? Scorched spots from too-vigorous ironing?

    • I see that too. It’s not just you.

    • GinAndPopcorn

      I was so distracted by the crop circles on her back I didn’t even notice the marks on the dress.

      • Kristin McNamara

        I just saw another site saying those marks on her back are from “cupping”.

  • I love it that she looks as she does and is standing in front of a backdrop emblazoned with “Call Me Crazy”.

  • Jen

    I’m also not hating the shorts, and I think she could pull them off with a different top (I’m a Jen apologist). I think the STRAPLESS clearly meant to be a DRESS top over the shorts is what pulls it down to casual.

    • I’m a bit of an apologist for her, too, although I never go to or watch her movies. Go figure. Her hair looks awesome. And her legs look stunning, but it’s not a GOOD outfit, of course.

  • carnush

    It doesn’t even remotely resemble the original. You don’t mess with Dior, Jen.

  • The top looks clunky, like when somebody (never ME lol) wears the bottom half of a suit with the top of another and they don’t QUITE match. Plus it looks like an entire size bigger than she is.

    • Little_Olive


  • jetpackdino

    Jennifer Maria Aniston you get in this house right now!!

  • Did she and Heidi Klum join a “Lets-hack-up-our-expensive-couture-gowns” club?

    • tereliz

      You know LiLo is sniffing at the door trying to gain admittance to that club, claiming that she INVENTED HACKING COUTURE GOWNS WHY DOES EVERYONE SHUN ME?!

  • Tatiana Luján

    My problem here isn’t with the shorts. I actually think californian blondes are exactly the right type to pull them off.
    I just hate what she did to that gorgeous dress, hate that she paired it with shorts and HATE the fact that she looks more orange than Michael Kors.

    • RebeccaKW

      It’s like a bad PR design. “Make a design inspired by this designer look.” And the uninspired contestant makes the identical garment, but adds flaps to the top and makes it shorts instead of a skirt.

      • Tatiana Luján

        jajajajaja, yes, that’s exactly how it looks.

  • Judy_S

    I think I see her logic. (1) I need to show my legs, or people will just end up staring at my tits. (2) if I wear a skirt that’s short enough, I won’t be able to sit down without getting my butt stuck to the seat.

    • Little_Olive

      Ha! Although, I should think her stylist/assistant sprays her butt with hairspray so she doesn’t get stuck.

  • elemspbee

    Not a bad outfit at all. It’s chic. But just not on her.

  • Her middle name is Joanna, which I think still works.

  • MsALVA

    Louise is also a good middle name to yell out when mad at someone. When I yell at my female dog, I always address her as “(her name) Louise Maria Veronica Ciccone”!

  • formerlyAnon

    Some one tried to get creative.

    That’s not the most flattering dress in the world, though no doubt Ms. Aniston would look good in it. (look how it gives the model the illusion of hips proportional to her torso! As if.) Over shorts, no way. She, personally, however, is doing an impressive job of holding time back.

  • I actually don’t hate this. 1.)She actually did something with her hair, even if it’s only a pony tail. 2.) There is some kind of shape and detail to the neckline to give it visual interest. It isn’t just a bath towel! 3.) I agree that it’s not the most figure flattering, but I think the black background isn’t helping…You lose all her shape because she’s blending into the background.

  • pivia


  • kathrineb

    Yet another example of why celebrities should not get designers to modify a design. The original was great

  • I used to like her. I thought she was easy, breezy and mostly every chic she ever played in the 90s, and I was fine with that. But I am now so irritated by her blatant playing of the is she/isn’t she game that I just can’t be bothered with her, or her simply stupid shorts.

  • MissMariRose

    That outfit is a pregnancy rumor waiting to happen.

  • nannypoo

    It’s hard to see the details of a black outfit on a computer, especially against a black background, but I can see that this outfit is just plain dumb. The blacks of the dress and the shorts don’t match and the boob wings don’t appear on the model’s version. She has taken an unexceptional dress and made it ridiculous. I am among the BKs who hate formal shorts and this outfit, on this person, is especially bad.

  • I choose to blame Paltrow.

  • formerlyAnon

    You know what’s almost as bad? If you look closely (7th photo down), you can see, I think, two hook & eye closures at the front “v,” clearly meant to be hidden when fastened, which she has apparently left open . . . to create a deeper neckline? . . . because the dress is too tight in the bust?

    One imagines/hopes she bought that dress, since one can’t imagine Dior loaned it out so that it could be worn like that. (Plus, I know she’s a Movie Star, but if others aren’t permitted to properly hem a loaner, surely even she can’t hack most of the skirt off a loaner dress.)

  • Kyle Crawford

    She’s a wonder! Wonder Woman… really, that is not all you see here ?

    • MoHub

      Ah! If only those boob wings were gold.

    • Lori

      I’m seeing a different comic book—the “wings” over her boobs look to me like an attempt at the bat signal.

  • I don’t have a problem with the formal shorts here… it’s the horribly ill-fitting and unflattering top that I take issue with.

  • lobsterlen

    She has now entered my irrational hate list. Her and Klume have ruined lovely designer dresses. They both will have a lot to make up to remove themselves my list of scorn.

    • MilaXX

      Fashion Police calls it the slut cut

  • crash1212

    My mom used to add “Jane” as the middle name of those she was unhappy with – male or female.

  • TheAmericaness

    Wow. Maternity was the first thought I had too, but then the shorts aborted that.

  • Kathy_Marlow

    I use “Lynnette” instead of Maria 🙂 Funnily enough, I’ve gotten it right a couple of times. Someone needs to take her to a new set of gays, leave her on their doorstep in a basket and let them make her over.

  • VeryClaire

    Joanna. I looked it up, her middle name is Joanna.

    • lobsterlen

      Jennifer Joanna? That is quite the alliteration. Did her parents want her to become a shock jock?

  • BrooklynBomber

    I gasped. Not in a good way. In theory I don’t mind formal shorts, and maybe this looked good in person. But the pics are doing the look (and her) no justice.

  • I like using “Louise” when I’m really mad at someone and don’t know their middle name. I’m happy with her hair, not much else.

    • random_poster

      I’m a Louise fan, as well.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      Very funny … Louise is my go-to middle name as well. Especially for my younger brothers.

    • I_Heart_TLo

      I’m a Louise user too. How bizarre that so many of us are.

  • decormaven

    No more formal shorts. What is up with this? So pointless, especially when the original look had such promise.

  • I really really hate the fit of that bustier top on her. Did she not look in a mirror?

  • rloliveira

    That’s not a dress. It’s a peplum top over a skirt. That said, somehow the whole ensemble makes her look large. And I’m rather certain she isn’t.

  • MilaXX

    I don’t mind the shorts on her, but I hate the tit wings

  • Hah, my middle name is Maria. Also, my male boss’s middle name is Maria. HISPANICS.

    • Coco Cornejo

      My grandfather’s middle name was Maria.

      My sister wanted to name her son Jesus Christo, so when she got mad at him she could yell “Jesus Christ, what are you doing?!” <—Not making this up.

  • Little_Olive

    Well, here in South America a great percentage of women carry Maria as a first or middle name (I actually do too -the registry officer wouldn’t allow my father to call me plain Olivia!). I have a friend who has 5 sisters… every time they go to the US, this 6 Marias with the same family name cause a BIG stir.

    As for Jen, NO. No to the top, to the shorts, to the hair length and color, to how tanned she is and to the wtf*ery blotches going on on her upper back.

  • Just sewing a Christian Dior label in something doe not make it DIOR!

  • aahlife

    If her back was cupped, as I cannot think of another explanation why she would have those pale circles there, why wern’t they covered up after her spray tan was applied? Were the cups there when she tanned? Makes absolutely no sense.

    And she looks husky in these clothes.

  • Ritchie Nolasco


  • schadenfreudelicious

    she just needs a jaunty little hat and she is in full on cigarette girl mode…

  • I don’t understand the point of turning that dress into a “shirt”. If you’re just going to wear shorts with it (as opposed to pants), why not just wear the dress as is?

  • Carla_Charlton

    Let me add my disdain for “formal” shorts. And as for this particular outfit, she probably didn’t intend this, but Jennifer looks pregnant.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    So I was in the Wax Museum in Hollywood a few weeks ago. Don’t ask. But in this museum, there is a wax figure of Jennifer Aniston. Standing alone. Staring intently across the room at the wax figures of Brad and Angelina. The wax museum people make Jennifer look like she’s ready to go all stabby on them. All they needed was to dress the wax Jennifer in this black shorts mess to complete the pathos.

  • ellabob

    so not flattering….

  • i always add “Louise” as the middle name…that said, she looks thick, which is ridiculous considering how small she actually is. this is TERRIBLE. she looks extra surprised; guessing very recent botox?

  • BigGirlDownNow

    She’s got a bad case of the “I still dress like I have my 30 year old body”. Not that she’s trying to ‘be youthful’ or trick anybody into thinking she’s younger than she really is, it’s more like she hasn’t realized that her body has changed since she was in her early/mid 30s and doesn’t have the same muscle tone, nor skin texture that it once did. An outfit like this works on someone who actually has good muscle tone and smooth skin and non-bumpy knees. Girl needs a new stylist.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Except she still does have her 30 year old body. She’s such a bitch. Iloveher.

      This outfit, however, does not flatter her age-defying body. The hair is lovely.

  • carpediva

    Why does she have 4 big spots of what looks like poorly blended concealer on her back? That’s not helping things either. Combined with the apparent stains on the top, and well…. the whole look is “spotty”!

  • lrhoff

    Oh good grief. Whoever dressed her doesn’t like her.

  • Imasewsure

    Really unflattering and boring at the same time. I’m not convinced she looks good in black anyway but this is awful

  • I fucking hate formal shorts.

    • your not alone on that point, it’s just a horrible fashion trend…… can’t wait until it’s over.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    When my buddy, who is in graphic design, pisses me off, I call him “BOBBY HELVETICA JONES”.

    • MK03

      If you really want to make your point, use COMIC SANS instead.

  • poggi

    I love this structured, clean little black dress on the model. Not only was it ruined in the bustier/formal short conversion, but does she have part of the top unbuttoned. It looks much cleaner on the model. You know it’s not good when you long for the sequined bath towel.

  • Qitkat

    Beyond ridiculous.

  • bellafigura1

    That actually is my middle name.

  • Angela_the_Librarian

    It seems like half the girls I went to school with have Marie or Maria as a middle name (paired usually with Jessica or Jennifer as a first name). Anyhoo, don’t understand why she converted this to a bustier/shorts combo. Would’ve looked 100x better as a dress. The gathering at the middle is also really unflattering..either there’s a baby or a giant burrito in there!

  • Coco Cornejo

    Can’t believe no one is commenting on the Wonder Woman neckline on this outfit. No woman’s boobs should have wings. Save them for your feminine pad.

  • Well, you can see why she’s always wearing that hair down to hide those long ears! Perhaps if her hair were all pulled back/up, the outfit would work better? I don’t hate it but find her just tan and bland all around.

  • MNStargrl

    Pictures 4 & 5 could be a bump….she really mucked this all up didn’t she….

  • Who in damn hell sees a Dior LBD and thinks, “Oh, I know! Formal shorts” Jennifer Tackiness Personified Aniston, that’s who.

    I CAN’T.

  • Is it bad that I still want “The Rachel” when I get my hair done?

  • ccm800

    Her, Gwinnie and Taylor should move to an island together. One with no internet connection or access.

  • Damien W

    What’s up with those knees? They’re like gargoyles jutting out from her legs…

  • blueberrypanckae

    girl, you too old for this. Her and gwennie need to realize it’s not 1995, thus they are not 25 anymore!

  • I love formal shorts, but I can’t stand Dior anymore. It looks like lazy student work. I say go Jen; cut the piece of shit up, make it into a top. Can’t do any worse than Dior has.

  • veriance

    I like the hair and make up, the outfit is space odyssey awful and the cupping marks on her back don’t help either.

  • That Dior dress is gorgeous. Whoever committed this atrocity to fashion needs to be banned from ever working in fashion again.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Her hair is (mostly) in a ponytail,she’s not wearing a sequined bathtowel… Baby steps Jenn. Baby steps.

  • Trisha26

    Horrendous. I especially love the last pic with her legs bowed backwards. Ugh.

  • ankali

    Girl, That Is Not Your Designer. Kors, Ralph Lauren, some Versace if you’re feeling spicy. The Frenchies aren’t for you, though.

  • Lisa_Co

    I see the irony in her doing this step and repeat for a film called “Call Me Crazy”.

  • Claudia

    I totally do that to my husband! Only I opt for “Marie”. Its the two syllables that works to properly vent my frustrations.

  • MarinaCat

    Jennifer Maria Taniston! Stay away from the scissors and the tanning bed!

  • lessax3

    If she didn’t want to incite a new round of baby speculation this is not the outfit for that.

  • mmc2315


  • …Are those cupping burns covered up (badly) with makeup?

    • l_c_ann

      Good catch. Cupping or a close encounter with a large octopus.

      • I like the thought of JAnis getting into a fight with a drunken octopus.

  • mhleta

    When it comes to shorts and short dresses, one should consult The Tibetan Book of The Knee Wrinkles, which states, “Thou shalt not parade thy knee caps at formal events if they bearest more than two creases. Thence, thou shouldst practice The Wearing of the Expensive and Well-Fitted Pants, or The Lengthening of the Gorgeous Skirt/Dress,” (see The Sins of Demi Moore Chapter 7, verses 6-9.) Go forth into thy squats and lunges and tan no more.”