Whenever two of our cats are fighting with each other* and we’re forced to separate them, we use a line from the camp classic Drop Dead Gorgeous. No, not “JESUS LOVES WINNERS!” although that would be pretty funny. What we say instead is “I know, dear. We all hate her.” It tends to work really well on hissing cats.
So Bitter Kittens, we say to you after yesterday’s news: We know, dears. We all hate her. Now let’s vote.
‘World’s Most Beautiful Woman’ Gwyneth Paltrow attends the premiere of ‘Iron Man 3’ in Los Angeles in an Antonio Berardi top and maxi skirt paired with Christian Louboutin sandals.
Antonio Berardi Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Sung Hee
Antonio Berardi Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Lieve Dannau
Christian Louboutin Dufoura Sandal
At first glance, we loved it; all the competing lines and shapes, the stark black and white, that industrial green.; a perfectly sci-fi, machinery-esque look for the premiere of Iron Man 3. “Excellent genre-dressing,” we intoned.
But Gwynnie being Gwynnie, she just had to go and show the WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL ASS to everyone – and by that we mean her actual buttocks, because we realized after typing “WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL ASS” you would all assume we were talking about Gwyneth herself.
To be honest, we groaned when we saw how much real estate she was putting on display but it’s the Iron Man 3 premiere and that does tend to call for thinking outside the box, dress-wise. We’re so enamored with the sci-fi/superhero qualities of the dress that we find ourselves harrumphing less and less over the tacky sheerness every time we look. Love her or hate her, she’s a movie star and she’s wearing a dress that works best on movie stars and models, at a venue for which it’s perfectly suited. We’re gonna have to suck it up and call this one an IN. Could’ve been a WERQ if she’d done something with that godawful hair of hers.
And you, kittens? Have you the ovaries or testicles to overcome your distaste for THE WORLD’S MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN and her ass cheeks?
OUT! HELL no.
Lena Dunham got a VERY STERN TALKING-TO by the Bitter Kittens, who rose up practically as one giant Bitter Kitten to vote her ballerina dress OUT.
* Is that a perfect opener for this post or what?
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, David Gabber, Tina Gill/PR Photos, style.com, christianlouboutin.com]