Darlings, considering the month or two he’s had, we think it behooves every Bitter Kitten to go out in the world, find the May issue of Teen Vogue, and cross out the word “YEAR” on the cover.
Justin Bieber covers the May 2013 issue of Teen Vogue.
Because “JUSTIN’S CRAZY,” y’all.
We have to admit, this little ongoing celebrity meltdown caught us by surprise. Oh sure, as a teenaged pop star who was oversexualized at too young an age and turned into a commodity by a string of exploiters, a breakdown was bound to happen sooner or later, but we had it pegged for closer to his 30th birthday, when the desperation to remain relevant will be at an all-time high. If he’s flipping out at 19 from the pressure, we worry about the poor dear.
On the other hand, most of his shenanigans lately just sound like an outrageously entitled douchebag having temper tantrums, so we can’t really work up too much real concern. It’s always interesting to see a teen pop star transition into adulthood because they have to manage the trick of taking their fans along for the ride with them, as they all age together. Timberlake is probably the best example of this. He updated his style and his image to properly reflect his age, and the little girls who screamed their support a decade and a half ago are approaching 30 right along with him, and continuing to buy his music and support his projects. This is why it’s not a good idea for the Bieb to alienate his fans right now. He needs to hold onto them for at least a couple more years and see them through college before they’ll become the lifelong supporters he needs in order to avoid obscurity and a tragic middle age spent on cruise ships, giving shows to aging tourists.
Yes, we’ve thought about this a lot, but in our defense, there’s an entire chapter in our book all about the celebrity meltdown (“The Full Chernobyl”), so we have thoughts on the topic. And as you know, we are unable to keep a thought unexpressed.
[Photo Credit: Teen Vogue]