Chloe Sevigny at Coachella

Posted on April 16, 2013

Darlings, Meet Chloe.


Chloe Sevigny attends the GUESS Hotel pool party in Palm Springs, California.

Chloe is an international film and television star with a reputation for wearing crazy outfits that delight celebrity fashion bloggers. After a day at Coachella, she’s about had it with vapid starlets wearing couture and 6-inch heels, vamping for cameras before running off to the potties to vomit up an olive. She stood on a table hours ago and did her patented tit-fringe twirl to try to get a little something started with this lame-ass pose-a-thon, but these starving little shitheads would rather “network” and do press. Fuck this. She’s putting on her sensible sandals, grabbing her angry totebag, and walking her fine, bikini-covered ass – WHICH EVERYONE HERE IS KINDLY INVITED TO LICK – out of here.

Bunch of losers.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • Mismarker

    At this point, I expect nothing more and nothing less of Miss Chloe. Work that batshit crazy, girl.

  • Vickiefantastico

    Oh, how I love her. And your fabulous posts, of course.

    • Worship the Chloe-monster!

  • Throwing all practicality out the window with that high necked fringe top. Go on with your bad (seed) self.

  • She’s like my freaking age. Time to evolve.

    • ewes_urn_aim

      Who- you or her?

      • Mismarker

        Good question. I just turned 38 on Sunday. I say she can keep on being herself. Wish I had the bravery to rock the shit she rocks.

        • ewes_urn_aim

          Happy Birthday/Week!
          I love her, too.

        • NC_Meg

          That was my birthday too! Happy late birthday! (Is Chloe really late 30s?)

  • estella_nyc

    The best Chloe of them all…

  • Victoria Anzalone

    Love that Chloe’s officially joined her own cast of characters!

    And good heavens, you can see ass cheek from the FRONT. That takes some seriously short shorts to achieve.

    • That is… NOT ok.

      • Well to be fair, it’s a bathing suit.

        • alyce1213

          And a pretty modest one at that.

          • RebeccaKW

            I actually love that she’s wearing a bikini like clothing. It is a pool party, so it’s appropriate, and it shows that she’s fine with her bod. It’s a bodacious bod, of course, but these are taken in sunlight by paparrazi. No airbrushing, no photo shop, no desire to shoot from the most flattering angle. And she’s all ‘check out these gams, bitches. And you, back there under the umbrellas-check out my sweet ass.’ Total confidence in her natural self. Love her.

          • .

          • I love that she’s wearing a WET bathing suit! It’s a pool party people! It’s OK to take a swim.

        • YoungSally

          Or is it???? It might not even be Chloe.

        • In that case, FINE (said like an obstinate child). But the shoes are still hideous.

        • I was glad you mentioned that. I thought they were really unflattering shorts, but for a bikini it’s fine.

      • formerlyAnon

        And she is 38. Our Chloe & Chloe-alters are united in being waaay too busy to try to keep the 21-year-old booty forever.

        • LauraWL

          Wha? She is 38?! I Googled just to confirm. I just… I can’t… She is 38?!!!

        • MK03

          WHAT?!?! Whatever potion she’s swilling, I wants it.

        • It isn’t that hard to keep it if you don’t lose it in the first place

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      Dammit Victoria, you made me go back and look.

    • Rand Ortega

      Now that’s (performance) art!

      • drdarke

        My bitchface – let me shows you it.

        Outfit is fine given it’s a pool party, but I’m wondering what prompts the ‘tude….

    • i feel like she forgot the shorts at home and ran out in panties…..

      • Celandine1

        It is a swimsuit at a pool party, nothing wrong with her outfit.

  • Diego!

    Nothing better than the original one! 😛

  • ralish

    I didn’t notice it was fringe until the 4th scroll up and down. She rocks.

  • Nice to meet you Chloe, I am a huge fan of your works.

  • She annoys me SO friggin’ much. And those shoes are HIDDY.

  • alyce1213

    This getup is reasonably normal, for her.
    Please show her in the black evil milkmaid dress.

    • Lori

      Yes. We need to talk about the the evil and/or depressed milkmaid. Who apparently took a chill and needed a head scarf. At Coachella. (I don’t think any human has ever gotten cold at Coachella.)

  • Erin Courtney

    BEST. POST. EVER. and I love you guys.

  • Funkykatt

    Oh how you and she rock my world.

  • I like to picture Chloe knocking back a stiff drink, laughing over these posts and commenting under pseudonyms.

  • Chloe is my favorite Chloe of them all!

  • She really is the gift that keeps on giving.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Is it wrong of me to want those sandals? (Well, not those sandals, but my own pair of the same.)

  • JosephLamour

    OMG an outfit of hers that I love head to toe? WHATS HAPPENING

  • PastryGoddess

    Best writing on the internet hands down.

    Love you guys

  • formerlyAnon

    You know that old game where you imagine who you’d invite to a dinner party, if you could invite anyone at all in the world, and know they’d show up? She’s on one of my lists. But sometimes I fear her true self could never live up to the shadow personalities conjured by this blog.

    • PastryGoddess

      I met her randomly in NY a few years back. She is quite funny and her personality totally lives up to her alters.

  • Meg0GayGuys6

    I think this is totally fine- that’s a pool in the background, right? And she’s wearing a bathing suit? Maybe Chloe and her alter-egos are wearing on me, but I don’t see anything wrong with this.

  • lobsterlen

    Chloe is wearing a watch. Anyone else find that surprising? Old-school time keeping is important to Chloe.

    If nothing else she always looks like she enjoys her fashion choices.

  • I wonder what would happen if Chloë entered the portal into Chloë’s mind? Would she find herself surrounded by Chloë alters?

  • tereliz

    This seems, I don’t know, a bit staid, even for regular old Chloe. I’m underwhelmed. But it looks like she’s having fun, so there’s that.

  • Little_Olive

    Chloe is also a daredevil. She likes to test how long she can wear a flammable blouse at 100 degrees in a place where different sorts of cigarettes may me lit at random moments.

  • Deedles

    On my monitor, it looks like she has a strip of paper towels stuffed into the bra band around her chest in order to combat boob sweat. Oh, don’t say that none of you have ever done that on a hot day…

  • LOLOLOLOL! I love that one!

  • terpsichory

    The third shot looks exactly like one of those mid-00s ‘edgy’ ad campaigns. And your description nails the vibe I’m getting from Cloe – but then, when does it ever not?

  • H2olovngrl

    She is on my irrational hate list. She looks like a fashion victim ALL THE TIME. I know that is part of the “fun”, but I just can’t. She just bugs the crap out of me.

  • H2olovngrl

    Look out! Hiddy, stinky Coachella boots RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!

  • Is that a Nick Cave tote bag? Awesome! First sign I’ve seen that these people are actually at a *music festival*.

    • It is a Nick Cave bag. I was so close to getting one at a concert the week before Coachella.

  • trisker

    I’m always SO excited when I see Chloe in your line-up! She looks herself today — likes struttin’ her stuff and wearing what she wants. I actually like the shoes. Blouse is a weird choice over a bathing suit…

    • Chartreusite

      Definitely on the blouse over swimsuit. I could understand wanting of a coverup (especially to prevent an unpleasant sunburn) but the fringe is weird and she might’ve been better off with going with something more casual or breezy.

  • She’s fabulous.

  • MilaXX

    posing with that bag like it’s Prada!

  • maggiemaybe

    Gimme those sandals Chloe. You can keep the fringe.

  • PrunellaV

    Perfect. Perfect. Both the post and the girl.

  • quiltrx

    It’s like Alter-Inception! Even Chloe isn’t really Chloe!

  • BigGirlDownNow

    She looks GREAT here, but change the light direction and intensity and it’s a different story…

  • elemspbee

    Love this look. Site appropriate, chic, comfy. hot!

  • bellafigura1

    Fantastic, this is absolutely her quintessential look. The sandals/bathing suit bottom combo is so fetching.

  • Anniebet

    Damned good thing she visited her wax salon.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    Wow – she looks like a normal person who has a cute little top on over her swimsuit. And now she’s going to kick that other woman out of the sun chair, open a book and blow off everyone else because she’s ON VACATION DAMMIT. 🙂

  • guest2visits

    Did she just roar at the camera.. (3rd pic)… I leaned back a little.
    Thought these were shorts at first, thinking of her style history. But it seems to be a b-suit. Funky sandals.

  • Iroqhard

    You know why I like her? Because she obviously is having FUN with her fashion. Even when she looks bat-shit crazy- oh, what am I saying, ESPECIALLY when she looks bat-shit crazy- she always looks like she is playing dress up in the best possible way. You work that 1000 faces of Eve wardrobe, girl!

  • Huh, so I can just wear a sleeveless shirt as a bathing suit cover up. I think I’ll try it.

    No….I won’t….Oh Chloe. You serve to amuse me.

  • Michael DeAngelo

    I love this girl. I don’t even know her and I lover her!