Uma Thurman in Versace

Posted on March 18, 2013

We are one hundred percent behind the idea of ladystars sporting massive weaponry on the red carpet. It’s the season’s must-have accessory! Or it should be, at least.

Uma Thurman attends the Moet & Chandon and FilmAid Asia Power of Film Gala in Hong Kong in a custom Versace gown accessorized with a Kotur ‘Pearce’ Minaudière.

“Any of you fuckers have anything bad to say about my dress NOW?”

Well, maybe just a little bit. It’s a beautiful color and it drapes well, but it’s really, really satiny-shiny and there’s just way too much fabric gathered under her boobs. Still, it’s a marvel of fabric engineering that it actually does fit her quite well. It’s just that it makes her look a little bit broader and thicker than she is. Love the neckline and the split sleeve. Love the hair too, but someone set the makeup gun too high.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • Frank_821

      Yes why is her face looking so severe? No wonder she came armed with a katana

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/XX3UUXUSBZGZQ4MKNADAMYTADE Mrs

      Not crazy about the angle of most of these shots.

      • DeborahJozayt

        I think the lighting makes the shots look worse, too. Terry Richardson Couture.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Couldn’t agree more. Though I think she looks amazeballs, the lighting is horrific.

      • http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

        Totally. Weird, right?

      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        It looks like the photographer was drunk or was three feet tall.

    • yethica

      “Too high” is an understatement. Looks more like they set the makeup gun on “annihilate”. It doesn’t even look like her… looks more like Leona Helmsley.

      • annyb

        First thought on makeup: “Plank-like”.

        • yethica

          I was thinking plastic. And not only as a description of its resemblance to the material.

    • Little_Olive

      She looks… like someone else.

      This is too complicated for its own good and for her. I think she rocks the more simple, structural, muted (in terms of shine) gowns.

      To sum it up: Girl, that is not your dress, your makeup or your hair.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

      The dress is a little too mother of the bride for me. But I would never tell her that, I don’t want her snatching out my eyeball.

      • charlotte

        As in “mother of the Kill Bill bride”?

      • e jerry powell

        You will have snow falling on your brain!

    • Kathy_Marlow

      That color in a different fabric, probably a different story, but it does make her look wider than I’m sure she is.

    • Judy_S

      I love this. I think she looks good “thicker.” Especially when wielding the sword.

    • babylonsista

      It’s a gorgeous color, but the draping makes it look like the dress is an odd fit.

      Also: That fourth photo? Uma got a donk.

    • A. W.

      Wow, she looks… rough.

    • http://www.facebook.com/aboutelle Ashleigh Boutelle

      This doesn’t even look like Uma Therman…

      • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

        No kidding. I keep thinking that she’s a really slight woman so she must have put on weight to look like that.

    • PastryGoddess

      Does the photographer hate Uma? Those are some seriously unflattering shots of her? The hair I like, the dress is ok. The warpaint is set on “burn and pillage” rather than “terrify and harass”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000060490093 Anita Freiler Palmer

      She looks like Angie Dickenson reincarnated!

      • Adriana_Paula

        I was thinking exactly that!

      • e jerry powell

        Hells yeah!

      • oldbobbydraper

        bite your tongue. angie hasn’t died yet.

    • jetpackdino

      I love how long and amazing her legs look in that first pic.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Winsletting it up, I see. (Winslet circa 2005, I mean, and in a good way)

    • formerlyAnon

      Either the makeup or the lighting is waaaay less flattering than is normal on the red carpet. I’m voting with lighting, because the skin on her arms is also approaching a “real” person in “real” life tone.

      I think the dress is a tad – operatic? Valkyric? – or maybe the sword primed me to think so. But on the whole it looks good.

      • Adriana_Paula

        Valkyric is my new favorite word.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      The dress is pretty awesome, and she looks GREAT, but she’s almost unrecognizable. Definitely too much “warpaint.”

    • Sobaika

      It all amounts to rather aging, unfortunately.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Um, she has certainly looked…better. I’d elaborate, but I’d like to keep my head attached to my body and bitch has a sword. On the red carpet. Only The Bride could get away with that.

    • Monday1900

      I thought that was Angie Dickenson! I wouldn’t recognize her in a line up. Dress is meh.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        That’s who it is! Thank you! I couldn’t place it.

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      Getting ready for Kill Bill 3, Miss Uma? Please?

    • Imasewsure

      It’s a cool look on her but a little bit matronly… makeup is too harsh for the photo but maybe inside the dark Gala is would look less severe

    • CeeQ

      Yeah that make-up is way too strong, it’s all I can focus on. The dress though is lovely, I have no complaints.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I see that one of the sponsors is Moet. Maybe the saber was so she could use it to open bottles of champagne as (supposedly) Napoleon used to. It’s a trick that’s still used at high-end military affairs & such.

      The dress? Sort of cheap and awful looking. I do like the earrings.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        Makes a hell of a mess when your drunk uncle tries it at Christmas with a carving knife.

        • Adriana_Paula

          Word.

      • librarygrrl64

        Re: sword, yes, that’s what I assumed, too. Like a cavalry officer. :-)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

      It doesn’t even look like her.
      And I have some chocolates that are wrapped exactly like that.

    • peachy

      alllright…who is that REALLY? you saaay it’s uma thurman, but i think we all know better. this is ellen barkin! in her living room drapery!

      • Indigo54

        OMG, I said the same thing!!! This can’t be Uma, no way.

        • AwwwTrouble

          I agree – I looked at each picture and thought there’s no way that’s Uma. It’s not even close.

    • Tatiana Luján

      that makeup is sooo stale.
      That, combined with the satiny look of the fabric, makes her look dated.

    • amyfromnj

      This dress would look great on Christina Hendricks. Justsayin.

      • e jerry powell

        But Christina Hendricks couldn’t work the sword. Her funbags would get in the way.

    • capybara_cafe

      I like the idea of this dress, but it just doesn’t look good on her. I almost feel like it’s making her look older, but that could be the really intense makeup.

    • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Tess Danesi

      Wow, that is one hell of a spackle job someone evil did to her face. Uma is a beauty with NO makeup and that is rare. Whoever did this to her needs to be bitchslapped, hard.

    • tereliz

      LOL at the sword. She just wants to remind Danai Gurira who did it first.

      I really like the dress, but the makeup looks spackled on. Lighting is bad, but not that bad.

    • Jecca2244

      To me, Versace custom never looks like Versace…

    • marilyn

      This overall look makes her look older than she is. Someone needs to be fired.

    • Sharyn McHenry

      She looks exactly like Angie Dickenson.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/BJTY6KY7LOR7MDOD6QCZUC3VVI Donna Tabor

        *snaps* That’s it!

    • nannypoo

      This person is unrecognizable as Uma Thurman. The gladiator dress, laquered hair and Mask o’ Makeup are painful to behold.

    • http://twitter.com/jennsaysmeow Fifi LaRoux

      Is she in the family way? Because this dress is making it seem that way….

    • alyce1213

      It’s not only the makeup. Maybe it’s not the makeup at all — the lighting is ATROCIOUS.
      There are shadows all over her face, it is harsh. Poor Uma.

    • Zippypie

      That’s UMA? I would have never recognized her. Ever.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      She should take that sword to whoever did the lighting in that place, but I really like the construction and color of the dress.

    • MK03

      …are you sure that’s Uma Thurman? ‘Cuz it sure don’t look like her.

    • http://twitter.com/wendylogic Wendy

      most shiny fabric looks cheap to me……and WAY, WAY too much make up……

    • beebee10

      when you take a gorgeous woman like Uma, dress her up in boudoir drapes, coat her in make-up, shine high beams at her, and then shoot her from underneath, you are working for the devil.

      • makeityourself

        This photographer was either sitting or on his/her knees. You could be shooting Grace Kelly at age 24 and she would look awful from this angle.

    • frannyprof

      this is not good. I agree, the camera angles are doing her no favors, but neither is the dress, the hair, the makeup…

      • e jerry powell

        You see the katana, right? Chill out or she will cut you like Lucy Liu at the end of Kill Bill 1.

    • jmorino08

      All that matters is that she feels like she if fucking rocking that look! That makes all the difference in the world when it comes to potentially problematic fashion, does it not?

    • MintaHallWriter

      Does anyone else but me think that it doesn’t even LOOK like Uma Thurmon? Are we talking serious surgery or what?

    • e jerry powell

      But, yeah, she does look like Not Uma Thurman.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sonja-Brisson/1156967466 Sonja Brisson

      OK, for those of you mature enough to remember — she is morphing into Angie Dickinson!! Which is not a bad thing, but just about the furthest from the previous incarnation of Uma that I can imagine. For those of you sufficiently long in the tooth to remember, isn’t it so?

      • librarygrrl64

        OMG, THANK YOU!!!!! It was driving me crazy who she reminded me of!

    • librarygrrl64

      I assume the sword is for opening a bottle of champagne cavalry-officer style?

    • http://twitter.com/bert_keeter bert keeter

      Something about this, the color or whatever, makes her look mature and dull.

      • Chantelle James

        Agreed. The shine makes her skin look comparatively dull and the colour does her no favours. That makeup and hair are much too harsh for the lighting, her dress, and her skin.

    • http://twitter.com/lenabena_ Elena

      When I saw these pictures earlier, I had no idea it was Uma Thurman. What is going on with her face?

    • MzzPants

      That makeup job makes her unrecognizable. The dress is fab, though.

    • GorgeousThings

      Oh no. Honey, you are not Ellen Barkin. PLEASE don’t go there.

    • mary McCall

      Who is this women and what have they done with Uma Thurman?

    • http://twitter.com/crush_onyou crush on you

      Yeah, no. Nonononono. The dress is beautiful (and although it does add some weight to her lean figure, it looks good on her), her purse is a beauty, jewelry is fine…. But she’s wearing a *frickin mask*! No wonder she’s unrecognizable here.

    • Anniebet

      Madame Tussauds? Not a bad copy, they just didn’t get the face right.

    • H2olovngrl

      Her make up looks craze balls.

    • judybrowni

      This is Uma Thurman from the future: the well-preserved 50 year-old Uma.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tiyuju Yuju Ti

      Did she have plastic surgery?? I can’t recognize her at all!!

    • http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

      if you judge the appearance in its entirety, I’d have to say: not looking good Uma. She looks tired, old and water-rententive. And she is none of these things. I am just being mean.

    • http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

      who took these pictures anyways? He or she needs to go back to 101 photography school: never shoot below eye-level. Ever.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      It’s like when you’re in a dressing room trying on bathing suits, and they have that awful overhead lighting that makes horrific shadows, so that even the slightest dimple (ie cellulite) look like a giant crater. Poor Uma.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

      Wow this whole ensemble makes her look a decade older. Lighten up Uma. You’re the Bride, for god’s sake.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

      It looks better when she’s hoisting the sword because you don’t focus on the pleating and crystals (or whatever they are)…a bit too busy. Great color though.

    • lobsterlen

      This is the second lady star recently featured here that is unrecognizable to me. First Renee Z now Uma. Actually the sword is the only thing that looks like Uma in this photo.

    • http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

      She looks like Angie Dickinson from the 1970′s. Bizarre.

    • hellkell

      Oh, honey, that’s not your face.

    • Cathy S

      Yeah, the weaponry is great, but not so much the dress. Beautiful color though.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JSGAZPEESHQT47ATH55GNOHHBY Erin

      I kind of like the dress, but her makeup is horrible. She looks ten years older than the last photograph I saw of her.

    • EEKstl

      I would probably have more tolerance for this dress if it weren’t shiny. Great color for her.

    • Connie Harbor

      I liked her old face better; before she had ‘work’ done.

    • rh33

      Wow..in some of these shots she looks like Angie Dickinson.

    • http://twitter.com/CaitrinofFenris Caitrin

      It looks like she came from a movie studio where the makeup is exaggerated for whatever type of cameras they got going.

    • libraangel

      Too severe. And why doesn’t Uma Thurman look like Uma Thurman anymore?!

    • kathrineb

      Don’t know how flattering it is to have oddles of gathering is on a curvy figure. Don’t me wrong her figure is killer but the dress is too fussy.

    • fursa_saida

      I really need all the ladystars to start showing up with weapons. PAGING ARYA STARK.

    • ccm800

      covering up the not yet settled in “improvements” darling?