RPDR: Scent of a Woman

Posted on March 19, 2013

Despite a first ten minutes comprising the following:

We were a little bored with the episode. No complaints about that first ten minutes, though. Except for maybe finding Andrew Christian a little precious, but that’s just us.

 

Big. Black.

 

Barbie.

Brava.

 

Maybe this is why we were bored with the episode, because OH MY GOD COCO SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

WE’VE HAD IT! OFFICIALLY!

My GOD, how does someone get to be a drag queen with any kind of career (and she appears to have a damn good one) and still manage to remain so damn defensive and eternally wounded all the time? She claims personal offense at just about EVERYTHING, while being as deliberately offensive to the people around her as she pleases. We realize the rest of the queens are encouraged to interact with her – and maybe some of them actually want to – but we’re at the point where we know we’d blurt out “SHUTTHEFUCKUP!” at her if she asked us to pass the salt. We’re so annoyed at her that we had to get this all off our chest before we even condragulated the winner.

We hated this look. It was unflattering and her makeup is hideous. We don’t know why she’s not called out for it more often.

 

We didn’t think her commercial was as bad as the judges made it out to be. NOBODY made a polished, hilariously funny commercial, as far as we’re concerned. We don’t think she’s much of a performer, but her look made us laugh.

Enough. We can’t pay her any more attention.

 

So condragulations, Alaska! About time. She’s not without her issues in this competition, but it was silly that she was the only non-winner in a group that includes Alyssa, Ivy Winters and Roxxxy. Loved this look. It doesn’t go quite as far as it needs to, in our opinion, but it’s a firm step away from her repetitive looks.

 

Like this one. It’s a good thing her perfume and her commercial were the funniest by far.

 

FRIGHTENING.

We like Detox a lot, but she should have been READ for this look. The dress is hideous and the face is the stuff of nightmares.

 

But he made a semi-decent commercial. Not the best but far from the worst.

 

We like this look. It’s pure ’80s nighttime soap opera realness, flawlessly executed.

 

But it’s long past the point where it’s obvious that Alyssa has FACE – and that’s it. She has absolutely no performing skills (except lip synching) and no wit, humor or intelligence to her persona. Time to GO.

 

We’re going to admit something that may get us yelled at. We love Jinkx, but after this week, we’re starting to believe the other queens when they go off on her for “playing a game.” Hey, that’s her right and if she pulls it off, more power to her, but we finally hit the wall on her faux-naive “I AM pretty and I’m just trying to be the very best Jinkx ever!” We think the other bitches are mostly going after her out of jealousy, but we also think her protestations are overplayed. She knows damn well she’s a front-runner at this point and that the judges pretty much love her. The underdog schtick isn’t playing anymore.

We thought this look was adorable and full of character.

 

We also thought she was a close runner-up for best commercial.

 

Another one who’s all look and no talent. Over her.

 

The whole pancake-scented perfume thing was funny, but her looks are all way too similar. If Jinkx can get called out for lack of glamour, then Roxxxy needs to be called out more often for lack of originality.

 

Aaaaand yet another girl who’s resting on her looks with little else to back them up. Oh sure, she can sing, but that’s not going to win it for her, especially when she relies way too much on these sweet showgirl looks and has no presence on camera at all.

She’s cute as a boy or a girl, no doubt about it. And she’s sweet. And we would have loved to have seen the high melodrama of Jinkx revealing his true feelings and letting that whole thing play out in the workroom. But he’s (we’re just gonna say it) not too bright and he has no charisma.

 

So two great faces with little talent went up against each other in the lip synch. And bless that Alyssa, she’s still in the game because lip synching is her ONLY talent. It makes it really difficult to eliminate her, no matter how charmless or awkward her performances are.

 

But we can’t say we’re sorry to see her go. This contest is coming down to Jinkx, Alaska, Detox and Coco. The rest of the ladies can start going home now.

 

 

 

[Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

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