Rosario Dawson Gives Up

Posted on March 27, 2013

Oh, MISS ROSARIO. Who did this to you? What can we do to help?


Rosario Dawson at the launch of the Tanqueray Gin Palace, held at 13 Floral Street, Covent Garden, London.

The hair is so limp, darlings. The dress, so shapeless. The bridesmaid shoes, so tragic. The makeup, so drab. How does someone so naturally hot manage to get it so wrong? Because if Rosario Dawson can’t leave the house looking hot, even with the help of professional make-you-look-hot people, then what chance do the rest of us have? Granted, it’s a bar opening, not the Oscars, but still.

You are letting the world down, Rosario. Although we have to admit, your clutch is kind of witty-cute. You just never should have matched your shoes to it. Also, you should never wear a dress that makes you look like a bra-less Depression-era wife living in the dustbowl.


[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews]

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  • A bra + belt + better hair = a much cuter ensemble.

  • Consider this a PSA regarding the dangers of dating Danny Boyle.

    • She’s datinng Danny Boyle? I didn’t know tthat! I think that’s really cool actually, it shows she’s not shallow. I think he’s absolutely brilliant, one of my favorite directors. I also met him once and he was incredibly nice, even stayed and chatted for a while and asked me questions istead of being all smiley but dismissive like I would expect most celebrities would be…

      • Sobaika

        I like him a lot too, but they’re broken up now.

      • Rand Ortega

        RD is pretty brainy herself. She’s quite the Sci Fi geek, having her own graphic novel & web series, Occult Crimes Task Force. She has a development deal w/ Gail Anne Hurd’s Valhalla Entertainment (producers of “The Walking Dead”) to create series for A&E, including O.C.T. F.

  • Sobaika

    Rosario, this is not the way to handle post-breakup public appearances. Call Zoe Saldana’s people, they’ll get you sorted.

    • Rand Ortega

      Maybe call Teyonah Parris’ people? They would really give her some needed POW!

  • “Depression-era wife living in the dustbowl” A T&O first: Steinbeck realness

    • We were going to write, “She is serving up Dorothea Lange realness,” but we thought it might be too obscure.

      • Is you said she or Margaret Bourke White, totally would have gotten it.

      • Adriana_Paula

        I would walk a thousand miles for a Dorothea Lange reference from you gentlemen any day of the week.

    • Rand Ortega

      From the Ma Joad Collection.

  • sablehunter

    Why would she want to hide her fabulous new rack? 🙁

    • MilaXX

      Hasn’t she always had a decent rack though? RENT was just on and her boobs seemed pretty substantial.

      • Sobaika

        Yeah, I’m not sure where the boob job rumors are coming from. I thought she always had substantial curves, and in RENT she’d lost a lot of weight to look like a starving HIV patient.

        More importantly though, who cares even if she did have something extra put in?

        • MilaXX

          exactly. It’s not like her boobs are Wendy Williams/ Heidi Montag crazy size. Her boobs look pretty much the same to me.

  • jetpackdino

    Good Lord, the top of that dress. What’s she hiding in there.

    • charlotte

      Easter eggs?

      • barbarienne

        Only if they’re ostrich eggs.

  • Introspective

    looks like somebody’s gays need pink slips for this fuck up.

  • dschubba

    Maybe her co-worker’s getting married at that bar?

  • Is it limp hair day in Celebutown? What’s with the lady stars today?

    • lovelyivy

      Limp hair as a result of climate change? ETA: Yes, I attempted to make a global warming = increased humidity = limp hair joke. No, it didn’t work. Ah well.

    • What it is, is the curse of London water. It took me months when I moved here to find the right shampoo to deal with the water here!

  • conniemd

    Looks like a dress from the Salvation Army Thrift Store. What’s going on with all that extra material on the bust of the dress?

    • It’s from the Lactating Collection from A Pea in the Pod

  • I love how dramatic you boys are!

  • Jecca2244

    i’m more interested in the rumors flying through the comments section! a breakup AND new boobs? and she was dating danny boyle?

  • Snort. Wheeze. Depression era wi— I can’t. Laughing. Too. Hard.

  • PastryGoddess

    Didn’t Christina Hendricks wear those shoes? They didn’t work then and they DO NOT WORK now.

    Burn..Burn in hell red velvet shoes

    • MilaXX

      I think Rosario’s are satin. Still ugly , just different material.

      • Oh, I had to squint to see if they were the ugly fur shoes by ?Celine?

  • flamingoNW

    Well…. I do like the fabric…

    • l_c_ann

      Agreed, though if TLo gave awards for wasted fabric, this should be in the running (for the cheaper stuff).

  • MilaXX

    Dayum girl, what happened?

  • barbarienne

    I am always stunned when the naturally gorgeous (and no, they’re not all naturally gorgeous) stars do things to uglify themselves, and it’s not for a role.

    I must conclude that they get tired of people staring at them and ogling them and thinking “Whoo, hoo, she looks great!” and they just want to go one day without that.

  • yaby

    She dresses horribly must of the time BUT she is sexiest woman attending any event all of the time- so why should she bother..

  • Veronica1022

    If you have a big head, you need fluffy hair. Nothing wrong with having a big head, lots of celebrities do. the rest of the outfit? Its like the dress you wear to do laundry on a humid day.

  • nailed it :O)

  • teensmom99

    Why do feel that if the hair were better, then this would be less tragic?

  • I want to live in the Tanqueray Gin Palace. I’m going to start calling my house the Tanqueray Gin Palace.

  • Rand Ortega

    Was the humidity extra high that day? Everything is so droopy.

  • Funkykatt

    My hope went away a bit ago when my 17 year old daughter referred to someone younger than I being too old to try to be sexy. Sigh.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    I like the print of the dress, but this fabric should have been made into something much prettier.

  • MzzPants

    Good Gravy, on what planet do those accessories even make sense?

  • Janet B

    Her shoes and clutch match the seal on the background.
    Hair that limp could have been put into a ponytail and looked better than this.

  • Indigo54

    Ok, I’m just gonna silently walk away…

  • SapphoPoet

    Sad hair.

  • Maybe she sampled too much of the featured product and just didn’t care how she looked.

  • Oh, Rosario. No, hon. The dress itself could have been interesting, but I LOATHE the shoes. And she didn’t bother doing her hair or putting on makeup.

  • PrunellaV

    She looks like she’d rather be under a palm tree with a rum drink.

  • Imasewsure

    You guys be nice. I think she just joined the swim team and ran to this event right after practice

  • Melizmatic




  • if I stare too long at the pattern I get a head ache….ouch.

  • Anniebet

    Blouson is such an ugly word. For a reason.

  • formerlyAnon

    All else pales beside the hair.

  • Hetha Innis

    Loving the badass title of this post. You’re not skirting around the issue at all. She looks like shit. And yeah, what the fuck chance in hell do I have if she can’t even pull it off?

  • Little_Olive

    She wasn’t able to get me past the “it’s been a while since I had a gin and tonic” thought.

  • kmk05

    It is the Centre Part of Doom! Maybe if it hadn’t been deployed right above the burlap top it wouldn’t have been as offensive. Her entire neck/chest part is like a reversed cupcake (or should that be muffin), with the hair forming the cup.

  • Not much effort here and that’s OK. I like it easy sometimes.