We’re supposed to be angry and we’re supposed to say “THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FASHION/IS A TRAVESTY/CHEAPENS THE PROJECT RUNWAY NAME!!!!!” But that ship sailed years ago. PR has always had some form of stagewear challenge and while it isn’t really fashion, it is somewhat fashion-adjacent and involves the making of garments.
And we say this every season, with each one of these challenges: once they did lady wrestlers and drag queens, all bets were off.
Because Stanley looks like he’s going to die on the spot.
If we’re going to get mad about anything it’s the idea that a group of womenswear designers were given one day to make menswear for men whose bodies are so outside the norm that they likely have to have a great deal of their clothing made to order or altered drastically for them.
Here’s the thing about the short turnaround times on Project Runway: we were never as upset by them as our readers and other PR fans tend to be. The show’s not entertaining if it’s not hard for the people involved and it’s been proven over and over again in its 11-season history that really talented designers can sometimes whip out astonishingly beautiful garments in extremely short periods of time. But if you’re going to impose an incredibly short turnaround time on these designers, you’re going to have to limit the other roadblocks you put in front of them. It was too much to ask of them once you added menswear for superheroes on top of everything else.
And hey, it actually made for a somewhat hilariously entertaining runway show. You have to admit, that really is a Project Runway first; a runway show so bad that all the designers AND all the judges are laughing uproariously at how bad it all is.
But here’s where we get annoyed. “You really disappointed us tonight.” NO. That’s when all the judges look like total assholes. Just acknowledge that you imposed an impossible task on these people, have a good laugh at the results, and try to find something constructive to say about them. We wanted to punch Zac when he sniffed “First day of design school, we had to make a shirt.” Oh really? DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE THREE OF THEM? FOR GORILLAS? WITH A CAMERA CREW ON YOUR ASS?
It’s not a problem to us that they impose nearly impossible challenges on the designers. It annoys the shit out of us when they pretend like they didn’t.
The judges didn’t declare a winner – the one thing we heartily endorsed about last night’s show – so we’re not going to pretend like these outfits are worth breaking down to any extent. Let’s talk about the designers.
Daniel and Patricia
Pervert priest. Strangely orange pervert priest.
Patricia really gets on our nerves. EVERY SINGLE CHALLENGE she realizes that she managed her time poorly and screwed over her team mate(s). EVERY SINGLE CHALLENGE she does it AGAIN – AND pretends like it’s a total surprise to her how she wound up here again. We’re siding with Michelle on this one. We wouldn’t want her on our team either.
Daniel goes whichever way the wind blows and acts surprised when he sees where it lands him. We won’t say he’s a player, but we will say we don’t buy his wide-eyed sweetness. He’s extremely camera-savvy.
Amanda, Layana, and Richard
Richard is a pissy bitch and Layana is a whiner who never comes out and says what she means. Then she whines to the judges because someone failed to read her mind. Amanda, bless her heart, just isn’t cut out for reality competitions and she’s struggled with every challenge but one.
Michelle clearly smokes crack.
Richard and Samantha
Samantha made the best garment (the pants) and we have nothing else to say about her because she seems nice enough.
Stanley reminds us SO MUCH of our good friend Emmett McCarthy, who spent time wallowing in the workroom in season 2 but refused to be anything but an adult in front of the cameras (which wasn’t easy when dealing with such supreme camera-suckers as Santino) and got auf’d for being professional and boring to the producers. It’s to Stanley’s credit that he’s still here, because he steadfastly refuses to play a character for the producers. He is a good designer, though. Probably one of the best from a technical standpoint. If anyone deserved a win last night, it was him.
Amanda and Richard
It’s like menswear designed by Salvador Dalí.
So Auf Wiedersehen, Amanda. You probably shouldn’t have picked that moment to have a short bitchfest on the runway with Richard, but it’s to your credit that you were more concerned about apologizing for your own bad behavior and making up for it than you were about staying in the game. That’s admirable. Now pack up your things.
[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]