Lindsay Lohan in 3.1 Phillip Lim

Posted on March 19, 2013

There’s an entire segment of our upcoming book (which we’re sorry to keep mentioning, but we’re a couple weeks out from deadline and the thought of it pretty much consumes our days) that deals with how a celebrity should dress for a court appearance. No, really. We want to thank Lindsay personally for contributing so much material to those particular paragraphs.

Unfortunately, we think she’s violating some of the unspoken (but soon-to-be spoken) rules with this one:

 

Lindsay Lohan leaves the Airport Courthouse in Los Angeles in 3.1 Phillip Lim.

3.1 Phillip Lim Fall 2012 Collection/Model: Agata Danilova

3.1 Phillip Pre-Fall 2012 Collection/Model: Iris van Berne

When you’re a celeb in front of a judge – especially if this is not your first time at this particular judicial rodeo – then your first goal is to appear repentant. Your second goal is to appear humble. And you have to manage both these goals while still looking like a superstar because the front of the courthouse has roughly the same number of photographers as the Oscars and this may be the biggest boost your career’s gotten in years. Also, sometimes a little sparkle can help warm up a judge’s heart. So white, or some other pale non-color that denotes purity and cleanliness; absolutely. If you can pull it off without looking like you’re there to get married, go for it. But a star attempting to appear repentant shouldn’t show up in anything too fashion-y or too challenging for the judge, nor should she wear anything that gives off the whiff of being lent or gifted to her by a designer. That’s just plain tacky as shit.  Sheers are absolutely out of the question and SHEER PANTS are so far off-model that we hope the judge literally threw a book at her. We would have.

And the tragedy of it is, she probably thinks she dressed demurely and sensibly. Or maybe she thinks this is like a chic version of a prison jumpsuit or something and she was trying out some sort of reverse psychology move on the judge. Either way, it didn’t quite work.

 

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews.com, style.com]

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