Lana Del Rey in … just go look, okay?

Posted on March 22, 2013

Oh for God’s sake. We can’t.

 

Lana Del Rey at the 2013 Echo Awards in Berlin, Germany.

WE CAN’T.

Look, we’re all for finding a schtick and beating it into the ground but Amy Winehouse got there first and did it better. This just feels a like a middle-of-the-road retread; something that’s not quite as rebellious or interesting as she seems to think. It’s just pure awkward-as-fuck. She’s a conventionally pretty girl. There are a million better ways than this to make a girl like her look interesting. We’re all for ladystars doing drag to create an image. Just make it something fabulous or worth talking about.

Those fucking shoes. They hurt our feelings.

Also: those are the ugliest awards we’ve ever seen. They look like car parts.

 

[Photo Credit: WENN]

    • Kristina Toma

      Those are the same style/color shoes I wear when I’m running errands…like getting groceries or getting my car cleaned. I do not see them and think, “Hrm, I can really dress these up if I try!” They’re Saturday Morning shoes. That’s it.

      • Andrew Schroeder

        She was probably wearing nicer shoes at the ceremony and then switched out after. Adele does the same thing.

        • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

          Adele does lots of things that Lana needs to stop trying to do.

    • http://twitter.com/hmbscully WendyD

      Does she have alligators on her head? What fuckery is this?
      The putty shoes have finally melted and she’s wearing them.

    • TieDye64

      Priscilla Presley redux with orthopedic shoes. Very poorly played.

      • Lesley

        stole the thought right out of my head! exactly.

      • NC_Meg

        Yep. I always get a Priscilla vibe from her. Although I’m not sure Priscilla would have signed off on those hair clips. (HAIR CLIPS on the RC, Lana! Think about this next time!)

    • Mismarker

      I think she stole my dead grandma’s shoes.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Or my toddler niece’s.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=675517274 Nora Halcyonov Lynnenko Naught

      Wow her outfit sucks. Alligator clips in her hair? Ugh. No, thank you.
      Those awards are ugly as hell, too.

    • Susan Collier

      Giant plane propeller pasties on a ’60s Cleopatra knockoff. With sensible shoes.

      • hillmad

        LOLOLOL I really thought they were part of the dress in the thumbnail; like some sort of space-age suspenders with bejeweled nipple covers!

        • Little_Olive

          Exactly my thought. But it looks like she did it on purpose.

          • hillmad

            Yeah, I think you’re right. otherwise, she would have held them closer together!

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        a la Fancy Bates?

    • bxbourgie

      What the hell with those shoes? They look like something you put on to travel on the subways to work, where your real shoes are tucked away under your desk. UGH!

      • MoHub

        I would actually wear those shoes. But not with that dress or any of the rest of it.

      • BuffaloBarbara

        If I’m wearing something comfy on the subway, it’s laced up sneakers over socks.

    • Justine

      I like the dress and I’m amused by the shoes, but if the dress was too long for those shoes, then get the dress hemmed. Hate the hair clips.

    • Nicholas

      Water birth dress.

      • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

        ha, ha, ha!!!! good one!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

        LOL!!!

      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        OMG thank you for that comment. I love you now.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

        With postpartum slippers.

      • http://twitter.com/BigBearSpeaks Big Bear

        Once it saw her hair the baby would be trying to crawl back inside.

      • drdarke

        OMFG – that ensemble is wrong in so many ways I can’t begin to count them.

        Only thing I can say is “Worst STAR TREK Alien Outfit – Ever.”

        Okay, I have one more – “Mormonssss…. In SPAAACCEEEE…!”

    • MilaXX

      I love a gaudy jewel, but even I an;t get behind those ginormous barrettes and matching bracelet. The hair/makeup and orthopedic shoes are just adding more awful to the pot.

    • http://twitter.com/Switch842 Kerri

      And what is on her head? Oh dear God, just no. Take those off.

      • Indigo54

        Alligator hair clips. Ridiculous!

        • http://twitter.com/Switch842 Kerri

          Like, if her hair was half-up and they were in the back like a barrette, it wouldn’t be so bad. But the placement is just AWKWARD.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UCLO5V2YD36T7QMPKOC7YXPOFU Erica

      She looks clinically insane–come to think of it, are we sure that dress and those flats weren’t issued to her on the psych floor?

      • veriance

        She has a thing for Axl Rose maybe she’s just a masochist?

        I also thought the awards were car parts, or props from a sci-fi flick

    • http://twitter.com/bornunderatree Sal

      nun glam

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1476648069 Scott Cooper

      Lana Del Ray stars as Helen of Troy in University of Ohio’s spring production of Faust.

      • Hetha Innis

        Don’t insult Ohio like that. Although, this O.U. alum thought she was holding two bongs instead of two awards.

        • ClevelandburbsBeth

          Go Cats! Class of ’94 here!

    • ushoda

      THOSE are the kind of pictures that make me think that the rumors of she being a man are real

    • Stubenville

      Priscilla Presley’s head circa 1978 on a sister wife’s body. Who styled her with the baggy, too long dress, Rachael Zoe? And those are the awards? I thought they were mod andirons.

      • http://twitter.com/spygrl1 Trish

        Yep, Priscilla Joins a Cult.

      • uprightcitizen

        My first thought was Priscilla Presley, too … only in a community theater production of “Star Wars” as Leia. And those shoes are, indeed, hiddy.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      Oh, so she’s still a thing, then? Huh. Well, she looks like a sad, late 70′s Bride of Frankenstein at the Grand Ole Opry.

      • ceceliadid

        Also: Karen Black as the disliked country western singer in Nashville. Yes, I’m old.

    • Mismarker

      Does she have this “dress” on backward? There is a pool of fabric on the front but it looks shorter in the back. The f*ck?

    • withbreaththatisbaited

      My 94 year old grandmother wouldn’t wear those shoes. They’re terrible!

      I thought for sure the awards were some sort of addition to her um…outfit.

    • Janet B

      Is she trying to be funny or is this a serious attempt?

    • bookish

      Those things on her head look like devil horns in half the photos. I have no idea what she was actually going for.

      • Moriginal

        Devil horns go with perfectly with the nipples of steel.

    • MelVT

      Wait! Someone gave her an award for something?

      • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

        She’s huge in Germany…apparently.

        • Lori

          Her and David Hasselhoff.

      • http://twitter.com/Sugarbeetle Sugarbeetle

        That’s Ohio University, sir. Besides, that’s too mainstream. I was thinking more Oberlin College.

    • GorgeousThings

      My mother wore those shoes to my sister’s wedding. In 1973.

    • alyce1213

      Those awards look like bizarre nipple framers.
      That dress is for vestal virgins on the way to slaughter. If only . . .

      (Can women be douche bags?)

      • DeborahJozayt

        I always thought with her musical style and presence she probably would look great with more edgy retro looks like the D&G or Prada from a couple of season ago. As it stands, she does look like a try-hard/douche bag….thing.

    • http://twitter.com/Mlle_D Donyelle

      oh i get it! It’s the Echo awards and she thought she’d give them some nymph realness. girl listen…

      • formerlyAnon

        Excellent.

    • Kim O’Neill

      Star Trek.

      • Sue_Asponte

        Agreed, she looks like someone about to be bowled over by Captain Kirk. Nothing Winehouse-y about it.

        • luciaphile

          She’s wearing too much to be on the original Star Trek. Most of those guest stars were wearing a couple of strips of fabric and a prayer. I could, however, see her on maybe TNG.

    • Little_Olive

      OMG OMG from the thumbnail I thought the awards were some kind of suspenders withe a “nipple detail”.

      But when I saw the reality of the dress, I was not relieved.

      I cant’ with herm so it’s not like I’m sad either. Plus, her face looks WEIRD from the side.

      • sisterb67

        Heh. And my immediate thought was “Jesus, has she got propellers on her tits?”

    • Jill Underhill

      “Those fucking shoes. They hurt our feelings.” L-O-L, first at the shoes, then at your comment about the shoes, then about many of the other comments. My day is better because of you, thanks!

    • MoHub

      I have two white streaks in my hair that look just like those stupid barrettes. But I’m over 60 and entitled to have white in my hair.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Are they… alligator barrettes? Because I’m afraid.

        • MoHub

          I think they are. Or some kind of lizard. But at first glance, they look like Bride of Frankenstein white streaks.

    • Joyce VG

      Wow. Now that’s a commitment to a “look.”

    • http://twitter.com/BrerAndy Andy Morris

      Dress made from bedsheets, accessories flown in from Gatorland.

    • padma sallah

      I thought the awards were a part of her dress.

    • Rand Ortega

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • Alyssa

      She looks very witch-y to me. I just can’t with her…

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

      Her jewelry looks like it’s trying to break the skin to invade her soul.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett

      I dunno. I thought the Bride of Frankenstein was looking pretty good today.

      • Julia

        That was my first thought- that head shot is VERY Bride of Frankenstein- lightening bolts up the side and all.

    • Sara__B

      What a mess. (Maybe this makes sense in Germany — some sort of cultural reference we don’t understand?)

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1540233153 Malve Lyborg

        No. It doesn’t. I’m as puzzled as you are.

    • VictoriaDiNardo

      I thought “Echo” was the name of some new kind of Bose speaker and she she was holding a pair of them – seriously!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

      Crocodile barrettes! LOLOL

    • piecesofconfetti

      The dress is just whatever, but everything else she’s got going on is painful.

    • KB

      Princess Leia drag!!!

    • shopgirl716

      Before I knew they were awards I was wondering if she was going for a weird Princess Leia thing.

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

      Her jewelry looks like it’s trying to break the skin to invade her soul.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      She’s just fucking with us…right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/AdriannaGrezak Adrianna Grężak

      Man, the plastic surgery combined with the crazy eye make up makes her look like a cartoon character

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

      She looks like a god damned idiot. And that’s me being nice.

    • http://www.facebook.com/AntoniaDonnelly Antonia O’Connor Donnelly

      Are they alligators?

    • conniemd

      Actually, the dress looks somewhat like the Chris March dress Meryl Streep wore to the Oscars a few years ago, but that was Meryl Streep.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      There was an old Star Trek Episode in which they land on some Hippie Planet where they all play harps and sing “Headin’ out to Eden, Yeah, Brother….” This is what was worn as said harps were played.

      • rajf

        That’s exactly what I thought…Star Trek episode! And the awards look like some kind of outer space musical instrument that I’m sure sounds like a theramin. The sound vibrations would be played by moving those things closer together and then apart.

      • Jessica Goldstein

        I went straight to Star Trek, too.

      • Vlasta Bubinka

        No no… this is maternity wear on the ST:TNG planet where everyone ran around barely dressed, looking for scooch ALL THE TIME. THe planet where they wanted to execute Wesley Crusher. You know the people? The wedgie-rompers and bad home perms?

        Yeah. THEM. This is their maternity frock. The little hairdoodahs are special sexual transponders and she holds the special labor facilitators… for an orgasmic birth.

      • mskgb

        Shout out for one of my favorite classic Trek episodes; Spock accompanies “Headin’ Out to Eden” on some sort of stringed instrument, thus cementing his cool. Alas, the hippies’ Eden turns out to be toxic, much like this ensemble.

        • akprincess72

          LOVED that episode…

      • lovelyivy

        I was going to go with Vampire Brides from the Christopher Lee era, but this is better,

    • notterriblybitter

      There is nothing that isn’t awful about that look.

    • PastryGoddess

      In the thumbnails those things on her head looked like devil horns. So I’m obviously okay in having an irrational hatred of her right?

    • http://www.facebook.com/jacoryd JaCory Deon

      I don’t hate this dress and think someone like Rooney Mara could pull it off but the makeup/styling/accessories hurt my eyes. There’s just something so, I don’t know, forced about LDR’s looks. At any rate, she looks like a Barbarella reject in this ensemble.

    • crash1212

      You know, I really like this dress. Too bad she crapped it up with everything else. What a waste. Those awards are truly horrifying…as is her hair.

    • http://twitter.com/CaitrinofFenris Caitrin

      Paging Captain Kirk’s boner….

    • BrooklynBomber

      Those are awards? And she got two of them? I thought they were some kind of fancy speakers.

      Also, this: Those fucking shoes. They hurt our feelings.

      • TaurusKW

        My thoughts EXACTLY. I thought she was the spokes lady for a new set of Bose, or something.

        • BrooklynBomber

          Swarovski Bose, amiright?

          ETA: I looked it up: there are Swarovski-studded Bose headphones! Of course.

    • http://twitter.com/KiraMac Kirstin McAulay

      so…. crocodile clips… that’s the gag right????

      Just can’t

    • BayTampaBay

      She just looks awful.

    • http://twitter.com/Glam_Dixie Glam Dixie

      I’m getting total Bride of Frankenstein from this. Hiddy.

    • Zippypie

      I just keeps saying “What the fuck IS THAT?!” over and over and over and over. “What the fuck IS THAT?!”

    • nannypoo

      Is she still around?

    • Coco Cornejo

      What the hell?

    • Puckndc

      Bride of Frankenstein??

    • SewingSiren

      I kind of like this. But I grew up looking forward to the Steel Mill Christmas Party at which all the ladies wore their very best dress which was from about 10-20 prior to the current date and they wore it by god whether it fit or not because that’s the way it was done back then. They always had sparkles in the hair too. And lots of hair. Wiggy hair.

    • YoungSally

      Is she back already — or did I just not notice that she didn’t leave.

    • http://remedialstitcher.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

      I can’t stop laughing. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Horrible, hysterically horrible.

    • DominoEstella

      oh dear…

    • deathandthestrawberry

      I can’t with her. I just can’t. Between her monotone singing, the obvious corporate push to make her a STAR and her general look, she drives me to my last nerve. Top of my irrational hate list. HATE.

    • Julie Fountain

      Those weird awards actually improved the look of the dress, and that is a sad sad thing.

    • http://twitter.com/kendallbrunson SassyMcFrench

      Bitch stole my grandmother’s orthopedic church shoes!

      But seriously, who wants sparkly alligator clips framing their face?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Please, she just looks like the youngest wife of a religious cult’s leader. Ugh.

    • j_anson

      But TLo, she is a GODDESS. Do you know see how this dress is conveying that she is a GODDESS?

      Presumably the goddess of Terrible Shoes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/D.D.D.Dino Dino Bonačić

      plastic fantastic face

    • Contralto

      They look like nipple correctors, those awards.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Will the powers that be please stop trying to make her happen?

    • prettybigkitty

      She has something in her hair. . . .

    • Anniebet

      I may have to go into therapy.

    • AnnaleighBelle

      I like her hair geckos. And her nipple awards.

    • MzzPants

      They look like computer speakers.

      Somebody get the tranquilizer gun. This look needs to be put down.

    • libraangel

      OOPS – I thought the awards were part of her outfit. I can’t I can’t I can’t -head to toes, wrong, wrong, wrong

    • ccm800

      meh…not hatred here but I feel you guys. I like when ladies rebel against wearing ridiculous torture devices on their feet.

    • Trisha26

      I actually like the trophies – but I LOVE how they’ve become de facto suspenders/pasties! And those shoes! Can we all agree to never mention the shoes?

    • bd73

      does she remind anyone else of emma watson? also, what does she do to be famous?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=535548244 Kim Baker Vidas Davey-Irvin

      what’s with the bride-of-frankenstein gators and vertical tits?

    • snarkykitten

      oh god, the hair clips aren’t even even!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

      she is a singer maybe?

    • http://onionjam.tumblr.com SkipperJane

      I was going to say: with the first picture with the awards, she looks like she’s strapped in by futuro metal seat belts.

    • KayEmWhy

      Bride of Startrek

    • http://www.facebook.com/alegalletto Alessandra Galletto

      I thought those awards were home theater speakers.
      And… WTF-GATORS on her head? Huh? Just why, lord, why?

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      i get – even like – what shes going for, and the dress could have worked, but the details are way off. the make-up is bad drag, the hair colour doesnt work, the bangle and barrettes are terrible, and oh god the shoes. and why is she holding computer speakers?

    • BuffaloBarbara

      Those aren’t awards. They’re hologram projectors that she’s loading with an emergency message: “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi! You’re my only hope! And hey… isn’t this way hotter with the neckline dropped?”

    • formerlyAnon

      Those awards look like some kind of sold-on-late-night-t.v. exercise product. The dress looks like she picked up the wrong size vestal virgin-inspired spa garment. The shoes are – the shoes are – hell. They’re too ugly to mock.

      I can’t venture above the neck. It looks too funny/space girl from Planet X, yet she seems to be getting into it and enjoying herself, I give her credit for that.

    • unbornfawn

      No. Just no.

    • kathrineb

      yikes!

    • http://twitter.com/UtterlyCreative Utterly Creative

      This looks like something Mary Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie would wear for going on church on a Sunday to get insulted by Nellie Oleson for this ridiculous country girls dress and the virginity shoes. Or was it Carrie Ingalls? The one who always peed herself?

    • http://twitter.com/TheRealAndra Andra

      Some poor Elf is walking around Rivendell naked.

      • http://twitter.com/DarrenNesbitt Darren Nesbitt

        THIS LOL

    • greyhoundgirl

      This is hysterical. The hospital shoes, the dress–BUT THOSE THINGS CRAWLING ON HER HEAD–really the best part. She looks like a 4 year old let loose in her teenage sister’s room.

    • Carly Warnock

      Hate this, can’t stand her, do not find her at all pretty.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      It’s like an Amy Winehouse as Princess Leia Halloween costume. With ugly barrettes.

    • Jecca2244

      i don’t get her and never will. at least Gaga, who I now find annoying, takes it all the way.

    • http://www.facebook.com/angela.c.shea Angela Cotsones Shea

      Giant gem nipples….

    • PeaceBang

      I’m taking to my bed.

    • sisterb67

      The more I look at this, the more I see Priscilla Presley on her wedding day crossed with Princess Leia crossed with Madeline Kahn in Young Frankenstein crossed with someone’s very practical grandma who only wears sensible shoes.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe.

      I. CAN’T. STAND. HER. And I hate her music. As for… this, I could maybe, almost get behind the dress if everything else about this look wasn’t so ridiculous. I hate her hair, I hate those pointy finger nails, and the shoes. THOSE SHOES. Come dafuq ON, to quote another of the bitter kittens.

      And from the way that she’s holding those awards, the first thing that came to mind for me was “metal nipples.”

    • mila_8

      Help me Obi Wan, you’re my only hope…

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

      I was hoping for a Bride of Frankenstein costume from the way her hair looked in the thumbnail. DRATS!
      I have no interest in this woman’s work, though.

    • ZnSD

      Girl those shoes. NO.

    • SD28

      I like her music and was watching some youtube videos earlier when I noticed the same dresses and accessories in multiple videos/appearances. She clearly doesn’t have a stylist. It may not be a defense, but it explains a lot.

    • marilyn

      What is she, Mother Nature (from the old margarine commercial), or a Katy Perry clone? The twin hair clips, although probably in diamonds, introduce a kid=like element to this mess. The dress is too old for her. Torn between two generations. But, the Germans may think this look is hot, so who konws?

      • MoHub

        Well, after all, Germans love David Hasselhoff, so who knows?

    • mhleta

      I can’t now or ever overcome this much plastic surgery on such a young woman. There’s nothing conventional or pretty about her. I will take a pass on all future posts featuring this woman.

    • H2olovngrl

      That fall looks like crap. Is there no one who knows how to color match?

    • Damien W

      Please don’t call in any more votes for Worst Look of 2013. The phones are closed. We have a winner.

    • Damien W

      It’s like she was home watching Meryl Streep in her Chris March Oscar gown a few years back, and held up some wax paper against the screen and traced it.

    • teensmom99

      tragic.

    • amaranth16

      Mother of GOD, what is this nonsense?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1303837450 Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      Bride of Frankenstein. Seriously, from the thumb nail, I thought this was a bride of Frankenstein costume. She is so entirely unimpressive.

    • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com cheekypinky

      Why, Priscilla Presley! Wherever did you come from?

    • pdquick

      The 90s called. They want their PC speakers back.

    • mikael rickardsson

      Boil down gallons of envy and hate against Lana Del Rey into a few highly concentrated and toxid drops. Put it in a flask and label it : ” Tom and Lorenzo comment section “