Jessica Alba in Kenzo

Posted on March 04, 2013

Look, we get it. You’re attending a fashion show, you know you’re going to be photographed, so you make sure to have the designer send something over for you to wear. Haven’t we all been there, darlings?

But Jessica…

Jessica Alba attends the Kenzo Fall 2013 show during Paris Fashion Week.

That is a bathrobe. You should have said “No,” dear. Also: you are hereby sentenced to hell for wearing those shoes.


[Photo Credit:]

    • Donna Tabor

      Laughing now.

      Sentenced to hell for those shoes… priceless! 

    • imperfectlaura

      The shoes are more than cringe-worthy.  And I’ve seen bathrobes more flattering than that.

    • Vlasta Bubinka

      As a bathrobe, I like it.

      • DeebaCee

        Before I saw TLo’s final comment, I was going to comment that at least it’s a fashionable bathrobe!

    • sablehunter

      If that’s the best thing they could send her, I’d hate to see the rest of the collection.

    • charlotte

      Wearing a kimono coat while attending a Kenzo show? Talk about literal…

    • ChiliP

      …..well. At least she looks comfortable.

    • homofascist

      I hear her one woman kabuki performance of ‘Bluebird of Happiness’ is FABULOUS!

      • Vlasta Bubinka

        I’d love to see her in the Noh version of the Mikado. I hear her PittiSing is beyond words.

      • Indovina

        My inner pedant won’t let me actually like this (or Like it), but… well-played.

    • teensmom99

      This did not have to be a bathrobe if the right person wore it.  Jessica Alba is incredibly beautiful and wears many clothes well but this is for a big woman or at least a tall woman. I can see an older, tall woman wearing this with black pants and a turtleneck and it would look amazing.  Kenzo is really a specific look. and yes, those sandals have to go.

      • 3boysful

         Agreed.  And I think she pulled this out of the box and thought, “Great color, cute lining.  And it’s a wrap coat so I don’t even need to try it on.”  Then she grabbed it and ran, sans a mirror check,  the day of the show.

      • Indovina

        I agree. I think this could actually be a great look, but it doesn’t suit her or even appear to fit her – and I’m not sure she’s really wearing it correctly. On someone else, styled differently, I think this could be wonderful.

    • yayito83

      i was just in Paris and it’s freezing over there! why would someone wear strap shooes in that kind of weather? plus they’re horrible

    • Laurie Bergman

      She looks like she should be having the girls over for spa night…well, except for the black chopines. Those do not say “spa night.”

    • werika

      The coat (at least the blue sleeves) sort of resemble what a chic Baltic woman farmer/milk maid would wear.

    • StellaZafella

      There could be 2 more people in that coat with her and it still wouldn’t be interesting…not even fun. Sorry Jessica, between the shoes and the oversized-oversized wool kimono …  no….just no.

    • MilaXX

      That is a snuggie. If she had worn a funky pair of boots she might have made a Tardis blue snuggie work, but she paired it with blue suede cinder blocks. She looks silly.

    • AnnaleighBelle

      I hate it when designers send me stupid stuff to wear for Fashion Week.  Send me non-stupid stuff, Designers!

      • Alyssa

        I’ll take the stupid stuff if it means I get to go to the show! I have no problem looking like a fool! :)

    • PeaceBang

      Oh for heaven’s sake. She looks like she just wandered off the ward of a psych hospital for the Fashionably Insane.

    • Funkykatt

      Maybe Jessica’s bringing back the dressing gown and in that case, I will finally be fashionable. 

    • schadenfreudelicious

      maybe on Tilda perhaps?… Jessica here looks like she just popped out of the salon between treatments….

    • Pants_are_a_must

      I would like this to be my bathrobe, but I would never ever wear it outside. Also, those platform sandals are all the early 00s shoe nightmares rolled into one pair.

    • Annabelle Archer

      Pic 2 –  “Ok, this one? Wear this one? You’re sure? My shoes are-. All you brought for me? I mean, I guess I could…”

    • lobsterlen

      Jessica is such a tiny little thing part of the problem she is lost in a wrap coat. I think the coat would like more like a coat and less like a bathrobe on a woman with more weight and height.

      • Carly Warnock

        Aren’t her ankles just so tiny in this? They’re almost invisible!

    • Adrianna Grężak

      She knows she looks ridiculous 

    • mjude

      that just killed me TLO.  LMFAO!

    • kimmeister

      Just wearing those shoes must have been hell.

    • AthenaJ

      Comfy robe, uncomfy shoes… I don’t get you, Jessica.

    • MoHub

      Just before I scrolled all the way down, I looked at this, and the words, “It’s a bathrobe!” burst from my lips. Great minds thinking alike, I guess.

    • altalinda

      Judging by the way everyone else is dressed in these pictures, it’s not bare-legged-sandal weather in Paris.

    • barbarienne

      It’s not just a bathrobe. It’s a bathrobe at a Caribbean resort, deliberately made “distinctive” so they know if theirs have gotten confused with the resort next door that shares the pool and this stretch of beach.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      What if wearing those shoes and a bathrobe to a fashion show was hell actually?

    • Kim Brightman


    • Judie Tallman

      weird choice.

    • Sadie-Ann

      Those shoes look like she’s trying to hide some ankle monitors. 

    • Imasewsure

      It’s not just a bathrobe… it’s a hideous home made bathrobe… wow… awful

    • Tom Shea

      Shoes, no. Kimono, yes. Too heavy to even LOOK like a bathrobe.

    • nannypoo

      I think it’s beautiful. For a bathrobe. She looks silly.

    • Zippypie

      That is a definitely a WHAFUCK? sort of moment.

    • decormaven

      Dying here! Those shoes definitely place her in the Fifth Ring.

    • MilaXX

      Even worse she took her kids to an amusement park in that get up.  How silly.

    • Trisha26

      The airline lost her luggage and she’s wearing a robe made from an airplane seat cushion & blanket and shoes she got from lost and found.

    • Celandine1

      Poster child for the need of Style Bouncers

    • Judy_J

      Did she just step out of the house to get the morning paper?

    • Anniebet

      Oh. My. God.

    • uprightcitizen

      What the heck is going on with the sleeves? It looks like she rolled them up and we’re seeing part of the lining. Several sizes smaller, styled differently, with boots, this would almost be okay. But as it is, it’s from some Bermuda triangle portion of a Venn diagram, where a kimono, a bathrobe, and your grandmother’s coat all intersect. It looks like what you wear shopping if you’re planning to do some serious shoplifting.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      Ooooo, it would appear that Kenzo does not like Ms. Alba. Delicious!

    • Sarah Caponigro

      Tae Kwon Do bathrobe!

    • bd73

      of all the things in their line… if you’re act up, fashion-wise, paris is the place to do it.

    • PaulaBerman

      Thank you for summarizing my feelings about this look exactly.

    • SkipperJane

      If you put “Police Call Box” somewhere on this bathrobe, someone might mistake her for the TARDIS.

      Also, the proportions make her feet look tiny, and not in a good way. 

    • Jecca2244

      i don’t get why designers fight over having her in their front row.

    • Democracy Diva

      That is in fact the bathrobe I am wearing right now on my couch as I read TLo.

    • guest2visits

      I like the shoes; they remind me of more traditional Japanese sandals – and they look good on her feet.
      I don’t like the coat which seems to belong to a much larger person, and does look like a loud bathrobe.

    • Steph Foster

      Memoirs of a Geisha. 

    • foodycatAlicia

      With skinny jeans and on a woman much, much taller than she it’d be OK. But the geta-inspired shoes are too literal and have to go.

    • Phyllis Craine

      And that lining – it’s what I see on newbie sewing blogs.  Ugh!

    • meowing

      Is this the meaning of fashion victim?

    • Beardslee

      The lack of a clinical eye in much of what celebrities wear continues to baffle me.  It is too big for her and she is wearing sandals outside in northern Europe in late winter.  Just ridiculous.

    • Carina

      I kind of like the coat. It should have been worn with skinny pants and heels, or over-the-knee boots. This look is trying WAY too hard.

    • iheartbuffy

      Lapand chic? Which is a paradox?

    • marlie

      Hahahaha! I thought “bathrobe” before I scrolled down to the bottom of the post. Gorgeous color, but that’s about all that I can say about this. And the shoes? Let’s not ever go there again, m’kay?

    • iheartbuffy

      Also, if this were half the length, it would also be old school SJP.

    • Danielle Lisle

      Reminds me of my grandmother’s robe she kept from the 70s.

    • Jill

      This is what I look like when I have to take the dog out at 4 AM…bwah!!

    • christinewithanx

      Looks like some sort of stripper butoh experiment.

    • kategs

      I am sorry but I love that coat!  Shoes ew.

    • Indigo54

      What the….?   Good grief! 

    • libraangel

      No much crack stirred in the coffee in the morning – forgot to take bathrobe off

    • Amelia Law

      …and a fugly bathrobe at that….

    • Tess Danesi

      I totally thought she had to be on a set somewhere, wrapped in a robe, waiting for shooting to begin. That thing should not exist.

    • Ass Kicking Adviser

      You guys… you are sewwww mean. I mean, she is a busy working mom who makes gourmet pancakes for her daughters every morning and has to arrange when to pick them up at school and it’s hard. Sewww, sewww hard. (cue violin music). How do I know how hard her life is? I saw it on a TV commercial. She doesn’t even have an iPhone you guys….(sniff, sniff) she’s in a bathrobe because she is depressed about her very hard life. Pauvre Jessica Alba. 

    • kathrineb

      I don’t mind the coat, the colour is lovely on her. Am I crazy? I guess the shoes a a little fug.