Halle Berry at ‘The Call’ Premiere

Posted on March 06, 2013

Now that awards season is over, Hollywood breathes a sigh of relief because not only can they all eat carbs again, they’re also free from the dreary restrictions of taste and elegance.

Halle? That’s your cue.


Halle Berry attends the premiere ‘The Call’ in Hollywood, California in a black top and skirt paired with Giuseppe Zanotti sandals.

Giuseppe Zanotti Sandals

Gurl. This has to stop. You’re so desperate to be seen as hot; so focused on the tight and the skin-baring, that you seem to have lost all perspective. This isn’t hot, Halle. Oh sure; maybe we’re not the best arbiters of what makes for a hot woman, but everything’s just so muthafuckin unflattering here. The top makes you look broad-shouldered and droopy-breasted, with a wrinkly stomach. The skirt looks like it’s eating you. The chain belt and grommeted lace-ups are two bridges too far. In short, you’re a mess, honey. And you’re starting to look a little crazy, to boot. It’s well past time to retire the smokey eye and the spikey hair.


[Photo Credit: Getty, giuseppezanottidesign.com]

    • gabbilevy

      What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall when someone finally sits her down and says, Halle, Honey, it’s time.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         Problem is, no one ever does that with these folks.

        • Vlasta Bubinka

          Let’s ‘ku her.
          You have a great bod
          But dress as Aussie nightmare
          Honey, puhleese stop

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Now, if only she could see that Haiku!

            • Vlasta Bubinka

              But will she get the Spinal Tap reference?

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              I’d gather not.

        • DinaSews

          And would they believe them if they did?

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Quite unlikely, give the alternate universe they inhabit.

      • DinaSews

        Or JLo, or Heidi…..

    • erinbinek

      Your thumbnail is a very squished Emmy Rossum.  

    • Sobaika

      Disagree on the hair. She’s found what works best for that immaculate face and is sticking with it. There’s a lot worse she could be doing. I have wondered what she’d look like with it shorter.

      The outfit is a tragic mess. It could be better if the skirt had an even hem and didn’t look like a contrasting fabric to the top. And the belt is tacky. And so are the shoes. Blech, this is ugly.

      • kschwarting

        You read my mind!  I can handle the face and hair just fine, but the outfit is a disaster, particularly that horrendous skirt.

      • http://twitter.com/CesaMitchel22 Chelsea

         100% agree. Outfit looks like Wet Seal circa 1999.

      • kathrineb

        Her hair has WAY too much volume up top, I can’t abide it. It does with the ugly 90s vibe of the whole getup.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

      Uff Da!  How can one of the world’s most beautiful women do that to herself?

      • Rand Ortega

         Norway shout-out!

    • http://twitter.com/Mlle_D Donyelle

      Looks like she still has her costume from The Flintstones 

      • DeebaCee

        It’s Flintstones meets Catwoman with a splash of Bond girl

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208138556 Sara Munoz Munoz

          Not necessarily her greatest hits.
          Or are they? I don’t actually watch a lot of Halle Berry movies. I guess those are better looks than, say, Monster’s Ball.

        • dress_up_doll

          Even if she hadn’t done any of those films, this comment would still be on the money.

        • Judi Townsend


      • kimmeister

        My thought exactly!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      This outfit just reminded me she was in The Flinstones. That is so bad. 

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      I disagree about the breasts – I don’t think they look droopy – but everything else is Flintstones Dominatrix and just has to stop.

    • Annabelle Archer

      My personal feelings about her tend to infringe my ability to judge her fashion choices objectionably.  I almost always think she looks like try hard, desperate shit and this is no exception.      

    • Sue_Asponte

      In general, I think she looks pretty awesome. But the only place I can think of where this look would be appropriate is a biker bar where you go to pick up men after your second divorce. So, nevermind.

      • RebeccaKW

         I was thinking this outfit would be pretty appropriate if she was going out bar hopping on Saturday night.  Very “Banger Sisters.”

        • Annabelle Archer

          HA! Banger Sisters.  Well done. 

          • http://www.facebook.com/darva.sutra Darva Sutra

             Exactly – she an Frau Klum together would be perfect.

            • Lisa_Cop

              After that Julien MacDonald boobtastic Oscar party dress Heidi is in a class by herself.

    • queeniethebold

      She’s so beautiful. How can she not see, or how can someone who might be advising her not see, how much less beautiful it is to be so dreadfully obvious and desperate? She could do anything with her looks and panache. i just don’t get it. Seriously depressing. This is unrelievedly ugly.

      Maybe she just has too many people always telling her how perfect she is that she can’t hear anything negative. 

    • BuckeyeLou

      This is just Trashy!  Totally unflattering. And she needs a softer hair-do as she ages.  And I’d like to know the story on those scars on her leg,

      • Libby Larson

        I didn’t think those were scars — I thought it looked like poorly applied bronzer, an opinion that was reinforced by the 5th pic as well.

    • teensmom99

      All I could think of before I read your commentary is that it takes work to make Miss Halle look droopy breasted.

    • Lori

      I saw the trailer for The Call when I was at the movies a few weeks ago. It looks, not good. In that sense this awful outfit is sort of appropriate for the premier. Maybe it’s intended as a public service. Halle fulfills her contractual obligation to promote the movie, but takes pity on fans and subtly signals them not to waste their money. OK, obviously it’s fair more likely that she’s just in some terrible bad taste/fear of aging spiral, but I’m trying to give her the benefit of the considerable doubt.

      • Monday1900

        I saw that trailer too and I didn’t even realize it was Halle Berry until her name came up–although that may be a plus considering how the movie looks.  Why is she doing what looks like a low-grade horror flick at this point in her career?

        • Lori

          And why, for the love of FSM, did they let her do that to her hair?

    • http://twitter.com/Glam_Dixie Glam Dixie

      Wow does she look like she has an extended torso and super short legs in that getup. Not good.

    • call_me_schmeg

      this looks like it should be on a mannequin in the front display window at bebe. 

    • EEKstl

      It takes a Herculean effort to make one of the most stunning women on the planet not look great.  What is with this suddenly chronic lapse in taste lately?  PLEASE don’t say it’s because she’s getting older in Hollywood and is over-compensating to prove she’s still hot and relevant.  It might be true, but please don’t say it.

    • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

      Sorry, guys, but I love those shoes!

      • 3boysful

         I do, too.  Very unlike me!  But they’d be cute with a simpler, less-trying-so-hard outfit.

      • Alyssa

        I love them too, but not with this outfit.

      • http://www.serpentsdance.etsy.com/ SerpentsDance

        Me too. I really do love them. I’d wear them with something a lot more subtle than her yabba-dabba-dom outfit, though.

    • MilaXX

      The biggest errors for me is that top which looks too small, and as if the cowl showed too much and was then hastily pinned shut, and the belt. I would have given a pass on the tacky skirt and I like the shoes. I have no issue with the makeup, but which the hair was a little softer, and curly as opposed to spikey. Apparently Heidi & Halle are both having the female equivalent of mid life crises, which is sad really because they are both still incredibly beautiful women.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Her hair is reminding me of a cartoon character, and I can’t think who it is. Anybody?

      The shoes look like a very expensive version of awful.

      • DeebaCee

        Every male anime character??

        • BrooklynBomber

          Haha – could be. Though it’s a much older character I’m thinking of.

        • Laurie Bergman

           The hair swoop sorta reminds me of the red-headed Syndrome from The Incredibles, though he is not decades old.

      • kimmeister

        Maybe Hades from the Disney Hercules movie???

        • BrooklynBomber

          Good call. The one I’m thinking of is from decades ago, though. Maybe red hair.  Maybe flies or runs really fast.

          • kimmeister

            Lion-o from the Thundercats?

            • BrooklynBomber

              Nope. Thanks, though!

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208138556 Sara Munoz Munoz

            Plastic man?

            • BrooklynBomber

              No. More like a kid.

      • halleygee

        Mr. Heat Miser!!

        • BrooklynBomber

          Ha! Not it, but that’s a good one.

      • BrooklynBomber

        I love all the responses. It’s not Woody Woodpecker but I’m going with that because I cannot come up with the other one. It might have been an advertising cartoon character. 

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Woody Woodpecker?

    • snarkykitten

      Too be fair, the movie looks terrible

    • MarissaLG

      Too 2002. 

    • l_c_ann

      I did not know she was reprising her secreterial  role in the Flintstones for the (as yet unannounced) Flintstones 3: Quel Horreur!

    • schadenfreudelicious

      “leather mullet skirt”…that should have stopped her in her tracks right there….

    • altalinda

      Yes, I think it’s hot — but in a truck-stop kind of way.  Halle, wake up!

    • Alyssa

      Oh, honey, no. I had hopes that since the Oscars, you realized you don’t have to dress so tacky. You & Heidi are both beautiful women who need to realize how to dress in a way that flatters but isn’t desperate.

    • Indigo54

      Oh no you di’ent!?  Honey please…. Maybe it’s the minor emergence of crows feet around the eyes that’s making you lose your way.  This is darn near B.A.P.S all over again.  What would your mama say?!!! 

    • Janet B

      Head to toe: Fail.

    • Imasewsure

      And the outfit makes her look short and stocky which is a hard they to achieve. I can live with the shoes for her if the rest of the outfit was better… hair ok, makeup has to go

      • dress_up_doll

        Exactly! After looking at the first pic, I thought, how the hell is it possible for Halle to look so short and squat?

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      This is insanely unflattering. And tacky. Oh, Halle, I don’t know what to do with you… 

    • Little_Olive

      In short, our girl Halle here needs an injection of class, STAT. 


    • Belvane

      Her clothes have been amazingly unflattering lately, but I have to disagree about the hair. If a hair style is flattering and age-appropriate, I don’t see any need to change it just because you’ve had it forever. On the other hand, if it’s unflattering and age-inappropriate (we’re all looking at YOU, Jennifer Aniston), then it’s time for a big change.

    • http://twitter.com/stellaphone Stella Zawistowski

      Okay, Halle, you’ve still got it. WE GET IT!

    • OrigamiRose

      When your hair starts to resemble Bob’s Big Boy, it’s time for new hair.

    • MzzPants

      Hooker at the Thunderdome.

    • uprightcitizen

      Ack. She looks like one of those dowager cougars who gets too much sun, smokes Virginia Slims, and tries to pick up younger men at inappropriate venues. She looks 15 years older than she did two weeks ago at the Oscars. That closeup on her feet and ankles in those frightening shoes is almost as unfortunate as the folds of skin under her arms. I hope someone shows her these pics, especially the zoomed-in ones. She’s still a beautiful, beautiful woman … but she needs an intervention, complete with detailed letters from others telling her how much her behavior has damaged them.

      • Adriana_Paula

        What’s wrong with having folds of skin under your arms?  You know, like living creatures do?

    • leave_Blake_alone

      Can someone PLEASE pin her down, strap a weave onto her head and wipe her eye makeup off? At this point she’s had that look for 20 years now, right? Also, that dress sucks.

    • Trisha26

      Halle Berry is never restricted by taste and elegance, is she?

    • zuzu

      This is reminding me of her costumes from The Flintstones.  And that’s not a good thing.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      How do you manage to make HALLE BERRY look stumpy?!

    • MaryAtRealityTea

      It’s so depressing when you open the link and the first thought that comes into your mind is: ‘Oh. That’s bad.” 

    • jmorino08

      If she’s going to keep doing that with her hair, she’s going to have to get it trimmed every once in awhile. She looks like the Heat Miser.

    • lobsterlen

      If I was a costume designer for a movie and had to create the wardrobe for a desperate recently divorced middle aged cougar I would pick this dress and shoes.

    • mmc2315

      Don’t listen Halle!  Well, don’t listen about the hair.  Everything else, dear lord, listen!

    • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

      The proportions are terrible.  The dropped waistline makes her legs look short and stumpy.  And those shoes are trying just a little bit too hard.

    • Judy_J

      She just keeps dressing like the chick she played in the Flintstones movie.

    • Anniebet

      What MinAgain said.

    • nannypoo

      If I thought I could get my hair to do this I would chop it off in a hot minute. The rest of this is pretty bad.

    • Louise Bryan

      Black on top of black
      Criss-cross sandals, smoky eye
      Dressing in the past

    • bd73

      looks like she pulled out some of her old club clothes from 97 and put it on for old times sake.

    • marilyn

      Somehow the cut of that dress makes her look very short.  

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I couldn’t possibly agree more.  Time for a makeunder, dear.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera


    • margaret meyers

      The hair and makeup have been unchanging for years.  You know she does it herself, and it is so time to try a new look.

    • bertkeeter


    • lrhoff

      This is ridiculous.  Grace is good thing.

    • janierainie

      Okay. Heidi and Halle-AbFab remake.

    • kathrineb

      I have grown to hate the way this woman dresses. This outfit is cheap-looking trampy 90s sadness.

    • http://twitter.com/sylvia_warren Sylvia
    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      Also – this movie looks so unspeakably awful.

    • http://twitter.com/lisledanielle Danielle Lisle

      Halle, send this back to Klum.

    • libraangel

      Hooker at the Old BBQ Ranch

    • Judi Townsend

      She and Heidi Klum must have the same stylist because they both dress “desperately seeking attention.”

    • littlemac8

      Coochie mama outfit!