Cover Girl: Sarah Jessica Parker For Harper’s Bazaar China

Posted on March 14, 2013

You guys, here’s a screenshot from the new Sex and the City videogame:

 

Sarah Jesica Parker covers the March 2013 issue of Harper’s Bazaar China photographed by John-Paul Pietru in a Dolce&Gabbana dress.

In it, an eerily almost-lifelike Carrie Bradshaw frantically runs up and down New York City streets, trying to snatch up as many Manolo Blahniks and Cosmos as she can, so she can rack up points to free Charlotte from a bad marriage and cure Samantha’s cancer! In the bonus level, Miranda is repeatedly humiliated until she spits out a baby!

Dolce&Gabbana Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Othilia Simon

Say what you will about D&G; this stuff may be largely unwearable by the majority of the public, but it does tend to photograph pretty dramatically. Whether that translates into sales is questionable, but the boys don’t seem to be hurting.

 

[Photo Credit: John-Paul Pietru for Harper's Bazaar China via thefashionspot.com, style.com]

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  • deltabronze

    Geez, SJP — lay off the black eyeliner! You look scary.

    • http://www.facebook.com/darva.sutra Darva Sutra

       More importantly, lay off on the photoshop.  Her “face” is scaring the crap outta me.  She is working the shit out of that dress, though.

      • Louise Bryan

        That cover looks more ‘shop than SJP.

        • Libby Larson

          The ‘shop work has definitely entered the “uncanny valley” here.

      • Girl_With_a_Pearl

        Besides the scary face, her waist has shrunk and her left hip has disappeared.  Also something really odd is going on  with her pinky with some blur left behind.  Other than that, great job of photoshopping.  

        • Little_Olive

          I just noticed the pinky thing! Well, guess she doesn’t need it ;)

      • siriuslover

        It really is. The sunken cheek bones and the scarily uptilt cat eyes she’s got going there…she looks nothing like herself.

    • ToothCake

      Agreed! I wonder if SJP requests to have her eyes rimmed in black liner because I can’t remember her with other make up looks. I can’t imagine every single MUA wanting to do this look..

      • kimmeister

        Maybe they’re tattooed on!

    • StellaZafella

       She wanted to be a guest judge on Drag Race but RuPaul said: “Nu-uh hunty…that be too much drag for ME!”

  • http://twitter.com/Bloodisea Barbora

    Stunning cover, Dolce&Gabbana suits her well.

  • Annabelle Archer

    nightmare. 

  • http://twitter.com/lisledanielle Danielle Lisle

    She is giving HAIR.

    • MilaXX

       Looks like they gave her hair.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         Yes – they gave her Beyonce’s hair!

        • alyce1213

          Even Beyonce’s hair is not Beyonce’s hair.

          • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

             I know! They must’ve bought it from the same shop.

  • MilaXX

     It looks like a poster for some movie in which SJP plays the evil queen and shoots lasers out her eyes.

    • Sobaika

      She would make a good evil queen in one of the million fairy tale reboots happening.

    • Qitkat

      Maleficent take notice.

    • Little_Olive

      One you get past the eyes (not easy), the face they gave her is abysmal. That moth, the sucked cheeks, the continuation of eyebrows into nose… I mean, even she should sue.  

  • Adriana_Paula

    Well that’s just terrifying.  I kind of expect her eyes to set fire to downtown Tokyo.

    • lovelyivy

       She would OWN Mothra.

    • GorgeousThings

      Carr-zilla!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1266410766 Phyllis Craine

        ^^^^^best comment of the month^^^^^^

  • PastryGoddess

    Oh My Photoshop…

    Great dress though

  • Little_Olive

    Death becomes her. 

  • Valdri8

    That photo belongs in the new season of AHS. What the hell is she thinking?

  • nancymae

    Whoa this is a lot of look. Anyone remember the original Beauty and the Beast series with Linda Hamilton? This is what their daughter would have looked like. All the photoshopping and contouring around her cheeks and eyes!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

    Don’t you narrow your eyes at me, missy. I’d wear your dress, though, were I a different woman entirely, in a different income bracket.

  • Scarlet39

    I think SJP is very pretty.  I like that she didn’t succumb to having all the work done that many actresses do (which leaves many of them looking the same and while conventionally pretty, kind of unremarkable).  However, this is a bad cover.  Wow. 

  • teensmom99

    eerily almost life-like indeed.

  • Sobaika

    I like what’s happening on her neckline (necklace? embellishment? something).

    Insert comment on photoshop here.

    • SassieCassy

      right? its sort of funny how expected and extreme to the point of scary it is

  • schadenfreudelicious

    good gawd I actually gasped, and not in a good way…

  • Veronica1022

    I like the dress, but between the harsh makeup and the photoshop, she looks like a drag queen version of herself, and not even a drag queen that would last more than an episode or two on Ru Paul’s Drag Race.  Shes an attractive woman, let her be one.

  • gabbilevy

    I’d play that game.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    The word predatory comes to mind looking at this shot. Mortally predatory.

  • Judy_S

    I think she should sue them. That is one scary  cartoon.

  • MaryanneGirl

    Okay, this look is a little extreme (although I will be forever jealous that she can fit anything with that tiny body), but the comments about her looking terrifying are a little harsh. I would assume for a cover she had no control over her makeup, and certainly has no control over the use of Photoshop. LOVE her hair. (and extensions.) :)

    • MilaXX

       I think the comments refer more to the photoshop abuse than SJP. It’s so ridiculous that you have to laugh.

      • MaryanneGirl

        The first comment out of the gate was in reference to her using too much eyeliner. 

        • 3boysful

           And she always does.

          • MaryanneGirl

            Yes, yes. And so do I sometimes. I also wear very black mascara when brown would probably make me look a little softer. EIther way, I don’t enjoy reading comments that pick on people’s facial features, or makeup choices. My initial comment was about the fact that she didn’t do her makeup for this photo, and she didn’t okay the Photoshopping, either. That’s all. 

          • mightbewrong

            Makeup isn’t personal the way facial features are. We tend to put it into the same category as clothing. It’s up for critique.

          • MaryanneGirl

            You sincerely needn’t bring it up again. I understand where you’re coming from. I disagree. And there you have it.

          • Guest

            ugh.

          • MaryanneGirl

            Excellent rebuttal, well said.

  • DTLAFamilies

    In the bonus level, Miranda is repeatedly humiliated until she spits out a baby!

    *dying*

  • jerseyginger

    Man, they just used up all of the Photoshop for this cover, didn’t they? 

  • http://twitter.com/thehilariest The Hilariest

    Who the HELL approved that cover? Her face has been assaulted! Seriously? How did that go to press????

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Whoever photo shopped her eyes made some really pretty eyes.  I cannot agree with the severity of the rest of her face.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=694967984 Heidi Maier

    Yes, criticising SJP is ridiculous and unwarranted — it is the editors who clearly overdosed about a million times on their allocated usage of Photoshop! She looks fantastic in the dress and doubtless she, too, looked fantastic, until they attacked her face with Photoshop and made her look … well … like an insanely, unnecessarily ruthlessly Photoshopped version of herself.

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      I agree, but you would think that actresses/celebrities could insist contractually that photoshop will not be used on (or at least must be approved by) them.  They must have other requests/demands that are fulfilled by a contract:  why not insist on this?

      • Sobaika

        I think a lot of actresses like the option of photoshop - I remember in Tina Fey’s book she wrote about how nice it was they could erase a random pimple or stray hair and other human mistakes. For her the issue was when it is taken too far and makes the pictures look unreal. And I can’t think of a woman on earth with the kind of clout to tell Vogue she would like to approve the edits they make to a cover.

        • 1964edithgrove

           Not even Michelle Obama…

        • Qitkat

          I’ve lost track of how many times the TLo/BK community has been appalled with the extreme, often unflattering use of photoshop. It’s one thing to have a blemish or hair removed; apparently the ability to redo Mother Nature has become quite the seductress for magazine/photography editors. 

          Since *everyone does it* has become the norm, the clout to continue lies all in the hands of said editors, and none in the persons photographed/shopped. Whatever the terminology—correcting, enhancing, retouching, doctoring, editing, it is a choice being made, a powerful choice to manipulate images, to create the appearance of perfection, in always imperfect human beings. 

          This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, inasmuch as it may be used for artistic reasons; however, it also creates unrealistic expectations of beauty in vulnerable people, and may, as thought by some, albeit a controversial topic, play out in body image issues, particularly in young women/girls. I, myself, as an adult woman, with real issues of aging and weight, find myself resenting the apparent perfection of famous women closer to my age. And I totally realize that this is purposeful manipulation in the commercial venue. And it ought not to bother me, but it still pisses me off. 

          Living in an age where the very word *reality* has become a joke, says it all. I realize I’m most likely in the wrong place to complain about the topic of shallowness in the magazine/editorial presentation of celebrities, and why do I care anyway? I’ve got no good answer, except that I think this points to a deeper problem in our society.

  • Monday1900

    That cover terrifies me–she looks like a killer robot.  Dress is actually ok on the model, don’t think we see enough of it on the cover to make a determination.

  • mjude

    seriously who would think that cover looks good?

  • Roosevelt 85

    Guys, can we just stop with the photoshop comments. All mags do it. Plus, these artists and celebrities don’t have any say in it either. Focus on the clothes. LOVE the dress!! 

    • Madeleine Rodriguez

      I totally don’t mind the use of photoshop–it’s a professional photo, you want to get things like lighting right and “smooth out” the overall image.  That being said, I want the person to look like, well, a person.  There’s good photoshop which enhances the photo and then there’s “OMG why is this praying-mantis-cyborg wearing D&G on the cover of this magazine?!!?!”  It’s absolutely not SJP’s personal fault, but man oh man, no one did her any favors with this one.

    • SassieCassy

      she looks like the damn cat lady. so no, cant ignore the photoshop. not when its from the supposed paragon of fashion or whatever vogue thinks it is and not when its so inyourface. why did they even bother with a closeup if thats what they were going to do to it

    • Little_Olive

      It’s not about the photoshop per se… I mean they didn’t just “rejuvenate” her, they gave her the worst possible version of her face, stripping the cover (which is what the post is about) of most of its appeal.  

  • twocee

    Best video game description EVER.

  • http://twitter.com/VersatileChef The Versatile Chef

    I wish she would try some new makeup.  She has these beautiful light blue eyes yet EVERY photo of her has her wearing a shit-ton of black eyeliner.  What’s up with that?  She looks like an angry raccoon.

  • AthenaJ

    1st: Somebody PLEASE make that videogame happen!!

    2nd: The dress does photograph well, though the city background is taking away from it a bit.  

    3rd: What the HELL did they do to SJP’s face?? They’ve photo-stretched her face so tight she bears a frightening resemblance to the Cat Lady.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Scawwee Cawwee

  • http://www.facebook.com/aboutelle Ashleigh Boutelle

    this is FANTASTIC -airbrush and all. Truly artistic.
     

    • Qitkat

      If the intent was to take photography into the illustration realm, I would agree with you, but if that were the case, the concept needed to go farther, and apply it to the entire photo of her, not just her head.

  • kimmeister

    I hate the way the black part on the abdomen comes down to a point.  It makes the wearer look like she’s got on a thong bodysuit.

  • butter nut

    love the dress.  and, honestly, i’d play the shit out of that game.

  • fringebenefit

    I would have no choice but to sue.

  • Judy_J

    What in God’s name did they do to her face??????

  • Dhammadina

    It’s like an un-Jessica Alba. 

  • SewingSiren

    I would wear both of those dresses in the foreground. But I draw the line at the piñata mini skirt in the back ground.

  • bertkeeter

    SJP…Dress great. Uh…face… just a LITTLE too much retouching. Looks android like.

    • l_c_ann

      It’s not far from  the generic endoskeleton of the Close Encounters aliens.

      • j_anson

        Let’s just say there were actual alien races in Star Trek that looked more human and had less done to their faces.

  • MsBusy

    Yipes with the Photoshop!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

  • Indigo54

    Wow, she looks like a wolf!  If I were her I’d be mad as hell.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RDEDI3ONWSVDQS5GXKKBIML3H4 Chase

    She looked more realistic when they put her head on that chihuahua’s body in Mars Attacks.

  • maggiemaybe

    Poor SJP. Photoshopped right into the uncanny valley of the ghouls. That dress is fantastic, though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Cyllenius Maurice Depestre

    she gives a brand new meaning to looking fierce…

  • abigail3

    What is the deal with her! Yes she was a great Carrie but that was 100 years ago! She’s just so unattractive and boring. But she does have nice clothes (most of the time).

  • ashtangajunkie

    She’s so teeny – if my waist was that small, I might never wear clothes. I am in love with that hair. Hers or not, it looks all kinds of gorgeous. The dress is very cool, and I love it on that cover. SJP wears it well.

  • http://twitter.com/jen_canary Jennifer Ford

    She looks like a vengeful goddess in that picture. A vengeful goddess in a pretty fabulous dress.

  • MzzPants

    I want to play that game.  Please make that your next endeavor…after the book.

    And Bitter Kittens??  Ya’ll makin’ me laugh today!

  • j_anson

    That… does not look like a human being.

  • CeeQ

    That face will haunt my dreams. Fab dress though! So there’s that.

  • RocknRollmom

    I think it is time for an intervention.  SJP is a smart, and by all accounts, nice lady.  I have nice memories that go way back when she and I were much younger.  And I get the whole “I was Carrie and must represent” thing (well ok most of the time).  But it seems like she and/or her stylist and the magazines and…and…. everyone has lost their way when it comes to her.  Time for rebranding, softening, something because this cover does her no good on any level.  I know that a lot of things are out of her hands re magazine shoots, but still…  If she were my client I would recommend a disparagement lawsuit of some type.

    I actually like the dress.  Agree that I don’t know what real world person can wear them, but they are cool to look at.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    As if she isn’t already skinny enough.  That picture makes it look like she could encircle her own waist with her hands and have her fingers meet on both sides.  Frankly, the whole picture frightens me.  And the dress w/ the wagon wheel hip rings is hiddy.

  • SapphoPoet

    Eeep!

  • marilyn

    What is wrong with her face?  It is scary.

  • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

    OMG – what did they do to her face? Photoshop was not meant for this!

  • iCouture

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!

    *hides under blanket*

  • libraangel

    “Rolling, rolling, rolling…keep those wagons rolling” WHIP! Get outta that dress!

  • Therese Bohn

    Mommy, I’m scared! 
    Her face reminds me of the lady getting her face stretched out at the beginning of “Brazil”!
    SJP, you’re wonderful, but the Photoshop did you a great disservice here!

  • Anniebet

    Face, stretched like silly putty. Hair, enough extensions to provide nests for several thousand birds. Dress, kinda nice til you see the wagon wheels. Photoshop, yet again providing us with snarky stuff to say.  

  • capybara_cafe

    An extremely unattractive woman in an extremely unattractive dress. 

    • NoGovernmentName

      I would kill for her bod even now. I think she is what would be termed, back in a more genteel time, as a “handsome woman.” But this photoshopping has turned her into the Crypt Keeper’s niece.

      • capybara_cafe

        It’s pretty horrendous, but I agree, she has an amazing bod.

      • akprincess72

        I agree on the ‘handsome” description.

  • http://twitter.com/CaitrinofFenris Caitrin

    I now see dead people. 

  • http://twitter.com/TigerLaverada TigerLaverada

    Between the black eyeliner that makes her eyes look so little and the HUGE amount of obvious photoshopping she looks like she’s possessed by a demon.  

  • par3182

    I couldn’t help but wonder….what the hell is that?!?

  • quiltrx

    I tend to think she’s pretty creepy anyway, but this is REALLY FUCKING CREEPY.  She looks like she’s going to shoot me with lasers out of her preternatural eyes, and commence to rip my spine out in one piece.

  • BookishBren

    I am going to have nightmares. 

  • beebee10

    dramatic, and beautiful. SJP can pull it off. 

  • kikisayshi

    Scary.

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    I can’t even pay attention to the dress because I’m so distracted by what they did to her face.

    • Deb Oswald

      I agree- I am mortified! I have to go back and look at the dress again, as I can barely get past the face.

  • ballerinawithagun

    I’ve always wondered how D&G actually stay in business.

  • Deb Oswald

    I have never seen such a f-ed up photoshop pic in my life!!

  • bluefish

    Gorgeous dress! Love it. Also love what I can see of the brown and white striped on the runway. I’m one of those oddballs who thinks that SJP is absolutely gorgeous and wears clothes like few others so I’m happy.

  • librarygrrl64

    AHHHHH! That is Scary Face. Yikes!

  • http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

    I about hurt myself laughing at your summary of the show.

  • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com cheekypinky

    I would totally play that video game.

  • ccm800

    YE GADS!!!!!!! That shit is spectacularly scary!