Cover Boy Face-Off: Bateman, Mars, Fallon

Posted on March 22, 2013

It’s time, kittens. Time once again to ask that age-old question that has bedeviled thinkers and philosophers down through the ages. Namely:

 

¿Quién es más macho?

 

Is it:

 

Jason Bateman

 

 

Or:

 

Bruno Mars

 

 

Or perhaps:

 

Jimmy Fallon

 

 

Fallon looks way too eager to be loved. We’re not huge fans of Mars’ look (fedora + ladypants = WTF?), but we think he wins this round by default because they turned Jason Bateman into Dick Van Dyke. That is so not his style.

 

[Photo Credit: Peggy Sirota for GQ]

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  • schadenfreudelicious

    Jason and Jimmy’s heads are jumping way too much off the page…a bit scary actually, so yes it’s Bruno by default even with the overly snug manpris…

  • gabbilevy

    All three of these are super goofy. Too bad, because I think they’re all great. So Bruno Mars wins this one… but his cover is the least awkward among three awkward covers.

  • http://melaniesuzanne.blogspot.com/ Melanie Suzanne

    Yes, that is a terrrrible photo of Bateman, but I’ve been smitten with him since tweenhood and have to give this round to him. (His win is helped by the other photos being even worse.)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HNGRR454HLHWUKQGAHA2KJJ7NY TeresaM

      Same here. Ever since Silver Spoons. He will always win with me.

      • zenobar

        Sigh…”It’s Your Move” was my special time of the week.

    • http://profiles.google.com/jgonz85 Jasmine Gonzalez

      Agreed. Bateman can do no wrong. Come on!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UCLO5V2YD36T7QMPKOC7YXPOFU Erica

      Yep, I love that guy and always will.

  • Apocalipstick Now Redux

    I would go with Bateman except for those horrible leggings they have him wearing. I’ve got to say…I’ll take an old, tattered photo of Ewan McGregor over any of these three.

    • acevedob

      Yes yes yes. Ewan is the man!

    • random_poster

      I kept trying to pick one of the above. Instead I’ll just vote for your comment as the winner. Ewan all the way!

    • MilaXX

      Oh that Ewan were one of the choices.

      • Rand Ortega

        Which would make it not much of a choice, amirite?? ; )

        • MilaXX

          you know it!

      • alyce1213

        Macho-wise, Ewan is not in the same stratosphere at these three. There’d be no contest.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Right? Why does he look like Brad Goresski with a different head?

    • Elizabeth Silverstein

      I vote Ewan! I am always a fan of the write in.

    • julnyes

      I say we do a write in!

  • annrr

    Jason Bateman all the way.

  • pugluv

    Hands down, exclamation point vote for Jimmy. I adore him and find that his silliness mak!es him even more attractive to me

    • rajf

      plus, he’s not wearing ‘those’ pants and he is wearing socks

  • Monday1900

    I’m tempted to give it to Fallon because he appears to be the only one wearing socks but I’ve gotta go with Bateman. I dig the Dick Van Dyke look on him.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000393765005 Garcia Loca

      Agree 100% on the Fallon/socks sentiment. No-socks with shoes thing ruins it for me, as much as I appreciate the other 2 gentlemen.

    • drdarke

      Fallon’s the only one who looks put together – so he wins by default.

    • drdarke

      Bateman would have been fine if he’d been Dick van Dyke from top to toe – he can carry off that handsome but goofy vibe Van Dyke has. Problem is he’s Dick van Dyke to the waist, and Casual Friday from the waist down – jeans and no socks doesn’t work with the rest of his look, at all.

      At least Bruno Mars looks like he’d fit in somewhere in the “business top/casual bottom” look he’s sporting. Okay, that “somewhere” is in a Harry Belafonte tribute – but at least it has a home, unlike Bateman’s look, which says “Sorry, man – my good pants got a stain on them, and I was out of socks….”

      Fallon’s maybe a bit too pretty-please like me, like me – but hasn’t that been his schtick all along? Point is, he looks sharp-dressed and well-turned-out

    • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

      Glad I’m not the only one who noticed that THEIR FEET MUST BE SO STINKY BY NOW.

  • acevedob

    Macho? rofl. NONE.

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      Yeah, they’re all some sort of cute, but macho? No.

    • ankali

      How macho can a man be in, let’s face it, jeggings? Whoever put Bateman in those pants should be smacked, and I don’t particularly like them on Mars, either.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      My thoughts exactly. If we take a step back from “Macho” and settle on “man”, then I’d have to give it to Fallon- he’s the only one who looks to be wearing men’s pants.

  • ConnieBV

    Trying too hard to be like it part of Jimmy’s appeal. I like a trier. He wins it for me.

    Although my contrary side does love a smirk.

    Also, I don’t get Bruno Mars ie, sexy. He looks like MJ circa Jackson 5.

  • flamingoNW

    I’m going with Fallon because I can’t with the pants they put on Bateman, and not wild about Bruno Mars look

    • mshesterp

      That, and I love him and want to keep him in my pocket. Jimmy Fallon is just adorable.

  • heatheradair

    my bias says there’s not a contest in world Jason Bateman would lose, Dick Van Dyke or not.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cortney-Dean/100002491593625 Cortney Dean

    I take Bateman, as I can’t abide by any dude (Bruno Mars) who wears ladypants better than I do. But I will say that Fallon does look rather dapper. And I do love me a funnyman…

  • SewingSiren

    I thought they only did the cut and paste giant head thing to women.

  • CP

    I love Jason’s pants here. And the way that he looks in them. It makes me want to see him out of them.

  • BobStPaul

    I’m going with Jason on this one.

  • http://twitter.com/carnivaltenten Ten Ten

    How about….none of them? :/

  • mellbell

    I gotta give it up for Bateman. Didn’t know he had it in him to look that sharp.

  • Missy Covington

    No, Bruno. Those pants. He was the default but then NO. I can’t with those pants.

    Urm… Eeenie meenie miney….Bateman?

  • piecesofconfetti

    I can’t with the fedora, and I’m not sure why they put Bateman in skinny pants. I like Fallon’s suit the best, so I gotta give it to him.

  • Allyson Wells

    I vote Fallon. Bruno Mars is adorable, but i’m not digging the outfit.

  • Imasewsure

    Dick Van Dyke!! Now there’s a style I never thought could be typed… Weird shots but Bateman and his DVK outfit win for me too

  • http://twitter.com/CaitrinofFenris Caitrin

    Bateman. Can’t resist.

  • palehalfpal

    Well personally, I love Dick, so Jason takes it, even if those pants are ridiculous.

  • maggiemaybe

    Señor Fallon es muy macho. I’m digging that suit.

  • ccinnc

    I like what Bateman’s wearing but wouldn’t have recognized his face without the info.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    In real life, I want Jason Bateman. However, that is an impostor who looks similar to Jason but photoshopped to oblivion. I’ll go for slighty-more-realistic-bobblehead Jimmmy Fallon.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Fallon FTW!!! He’s the only one wearing clothes that could be considered macho. That is the question here right? Bruno is clearly wearing Jessica Alba’s “mom pants” and Jason has on what could pass for jeggings. I can not get excited about a man that wears tighter pants than I do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

    For the clothes I go with Bateman; for the face/cuteness factor, Bruno Mars gets it. I also love his patent leather shoes.

  • msdamselfly

    Love the Latino look on Bruno Mars- especially the pants

  • conniemd

    none of the above.

  • Sarah D

    None appear “macho,” really, but I’ll give it to Bateman. He seems a bit more comfortable, which is as close to macho as these three pictures can get.

  • mmc2315

    Bateman or Fallon, for sure. NOT Mars, no. way.

  • joolyz

    are you kidding me? bateman by a MILE

  • MilaXX

    I gotta admit I’ve always Liked Bruno, but my love for him grew even more when he got Leonard Nimoy to do a spoof of his video.
    Team Bruno FTW!

  • Sarah

    I’ll take none of them, thanks. Ladypants = unsexy, and Fallon’s skeezy tie primping pose is a huge turnoff.

  • José

    Can we get another round? They look hideous, in a fake-salesman way.

  • Kathy

    It takes a special kind of styling skill to make Jason Bateman look bad.

  • filmcricket

    All three of these guys are pretty much the antithesis of macho. Fallon’s outfit is by far the best, but my inner STEVE HOLT! has to give it to Bateman, because Michael Bluth 4eva!

    • SugarSnap108

      I fully support your reasoning.

    • minnye

      Yup, and I kinda like the Dick Van Dyke look.

  • jessica walsh

    Of the three? Bateman all the way.

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    bateman, but only because i intensely dislike mars and am intensely indifferent towards fallon.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CameronETurner Cameron Turner

    I go with Bateman even though I adore Fallon. I just wish that since Fallon wears suits everyday for work, that in styling him, they would put him is something a little different….

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    While I like all of these gents, none of them strike me as particularly “macho.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1410798987 Melanie Clark

    I want Jason Bateman to have my babies.

  • Rand Ortega

    I actually love the DVD on Jason. Rob Petrie was quite the (quirky, goofball) hottie back in the day.
    Gotta give Bruno the win ’cause I find him completely adorable. Unoriginal though he may be, I do adore his singing & his James Brown/Jackie Wilson/MJ style.
    Jimmy just does nothing for me. Though his getting The Tonight Show thrills me no end.

  • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

    I’ve gotta go with Bruno, since they actually used his style, whereas they played dress up with Jimmy and Bateman. And their heads look way big.

  • oohsparkley!

    Bateman and Fallon over Bruno and his girlie pants.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aboutelle Ashleigh Boutelle

    BATEMAN ALL THE WAY

  • melanie0866

    Bruno Mars looks like he’s trying to sell you his sister; Jimmy is adorable but Bateman is dreamy.

  • SugarSnap108

    I hate the lack of socks. But I have to vote Bateman.

  • j_anson

    A collective “Ugh.” I hate Bateman’s look the least. Fallon looks like he’s just finished dressing for a fancy dinner – where he’s planning to eat the reader.

  • bhl_1123

    Jimmy Fallon FTW—always.

  • http://twitter.com/sully27 sully27

    I have to go with Bateman. Love the old school Penny Loafer. Brings me right back to my Catholic High School uniform.

  • Lesley

    love me some jimmy fallon <3

  • GorgeousThings

    Well, I love me my little Pint Sized Crooner, but I gotta go with Fallon, if for no other reason than “Boston Teens”.

  • nannypoo

    Jimmy Fallon is always so earnest, he reminds me of my late great coonhound/lab Norman. And I mean that in a good way. But Bruno Mars is so adorable, he is the clear winner here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michelle-Cantave/689391415 Michelle Cantave

    I think Bateman looks like Ewan McGregor in Down with Love

    • alyce1213

      Cute movie.

  • erinbinek

    Love Jason Bateman, but those pants are ridic.

  • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

    So not loving any of these looks.

  • deltabronze

    Macho? None. But in order of preference: Bateman, Fallon, Mars.

  • Alyssa

    I’ve got to go with Bateman. I don’t care for Bruno Mars, and that Fallon pic is kinda giving me the creeps.

  • Orange Girl

    Fallon. He’s not my favorite and I do love Bateman, but Fallon is the only one wearing normal pants. The other 2 look silly.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

    Bateman.

  • alyce1213

    Ninguna de las anteriores. But if I had to choose — in order of descending machismo : Jason Bateman, Jimmy Fallon. Bruno Mars is not on my scale (every time I walk into the supermarket, his yodelly song is playing and it drives me insane).

  • http://www.facebook.com/dalca4 Denise Alcantara

    LOVE the Bateman!

  • formerlyAnon

    Bruno Mars, mostly because the other two photos are too goofy. Otherwise I don’t think his relatively delicate features and boyish dimples could be voted “mas macho.”

  • http://twitter.com/jennsaysmeow Fifi LaRoux

    None. And I love me some funny men and dude who can sing, but these are some of the worst photos of these guys I’ve seen.

  • another_laura

    This is a tough one as Mars is too much lady-looking for me, but the pants on Bateman are just so awful, which would leave me with Fallon except that his look is just so very bland.

    I’ll take Bateman because in my head he’s saying to the camera “can you believe the freaking jeggings they made me wear?”

  • unbornfawn

    Macho? None of the above. Bruno and Jimmy look cute as buttons and Jason doesn’t look like himself.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    None for me, thanks!

  • tereliz

    Jason might be one step away from tripping over an ottoman, but he still wins for me.

  • reddhouston

    Well I love Bateman and don’t hate the photo so I’m going with him.

  • Louise Bryan

    None of the above.

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    Fallon is eager for a promotion. But since Bateman’s style is usually frumpy prep, I sort of like put-together prep for him.

  • Susan Collier

    Jimmy Fallon… I still get him confused with Jimmy Kimmel. And that Bruno Mars looks fashionable, but I give it to Jason Bateman every time. At least they’re styling him like Dick Van Dyke-era Dick Van Dyke (as opposed to Mary Poppins or Diagnosis Murder-era Dick Van Dyke).

  • http://www.facebook.com/samuel.j.donovan Samuel Joesph Donovan

    Excuse me while I go ahead and vomit at that “Gentleman’s Guide to a One Night Stand” line.

    • mshesterp

      Oh, ew. I didn’t even read the cover. WTH, GQ??

  • Qitkat

    And here I thought you had resurrected FMK ;-(
    None for me, thanks anyway…

  • EEKstl

    To me all three seem to be working a little too hard, but I actually like Jason Bateman’s Rob Petrie realness, and besides – he’s a fox.

  • http://aldonsusi.blogspot.com/ Susi R

    Neither of them! Those poses are so unflattering.

  • rumcg66

    Bateman, hands down. Bruno Mars’ pants made me weep.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Can I have a none of the above option? Bateman is adorable and Jimmy Fallon makes me laugh, but macho? None of them are macho.

  • http://twitter.com/kendallbrunson SassyMcFrench

    I want Bateman’s outfit transplanted on my hubbie instantly! He wins!

  • bxbourgie

    Fallon. Bruno Mars’s pants are way too damn tight. I get that the slim pants look is in but WTF? Plus I’ve always found Jimmy Fallon totally adorable.

  • PastryGoddess

    I have a soft spot for Jimmy, but Bateman wins it for me

    Why is Bruno Mars wearing my pants?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208138556 Sara Munoz Munoz

    Jason Bateman looks like the lovechild of Liev Schrieber and Ryan Seacrest.

  • TieDye64

    Jimmy looks like a bobblehead. I’ll take Bateman, even though the styling is awful for him. I must say none of these are drool worthy.

  • snarkykitten

    Bruno Mars looks like a very fashionable lesbian

    • littlemissstrange

      TRUTH

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

      Nailed it! any one of his video looks are better than this horrible outfit! (even the video with the monkeys)

  • http://twitter.com/TVcastingcall Reality TV Casting

    bateman best of the worst

  • http://twitter.com/bailey____ann bailey debruynkops

    none. unattractive.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    bruno mars for me, even if he is too short. bateman looks like a game show host.

  • merciblahblah

    Ohhhh it is Bateman every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Sigh.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Jason Bateman automatically wins. He is Michael Bluth! Enough said :-)

  • stubbornthoughts

    Bruno Mars has the best picture, but I choose Jason Bateman because he’s Jason Bateman.

  • lalahartma

    A fail for all three.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    Bateman, because I have an almost-crush on him and because Horrible Bosses was so funny, and also because I had a full-on gayboy crush on his sister back in the day. “Heaven is like a buffet except you don’t gain weight.”

  • http://twitter.com/jen_canary Jennifer Ford

    I used to hate Jimmy Fallon with a white-hot fire before he found his metier as a talk-show host, and I like his eager-to-be-loved, game for anything schtick, plus he looks really nice in that suit.

    So Jimmy.

  • jmorino08

    I can’t chose! i LOVE THEM ALL!

  • Catiline

    Solely judging on these pictures, I have to agree with the Bruno-Mars-by-default verdict. He’s the only one whose picture didn’t make me edge back slightly in my chair.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    Fallon.

  • Aly Light

    Oh my god, Bruno Mars all the way.

  • Jess5628

    I can’t with Mars. Fallon is adorable (how long will he continue to work that shtick?), but this round goes to Bateman, tight pants and all.

  • barbarienne

    Who is the most macho of these three guys in these outfits? That’s kind of like asking what is the wettest desert. There is no macho, here; only three guys who might be good looking at other times, but are all dressed in very silly outfits. The most manly thing on these covers is the font.

  • littlemissstrange

    NADIE ES MAS MACHO. Todos son ninas.

  • http://twitter.com/butternut718 butternut

    omg i hate them all. but im going to have to go w/ fallon, eventhough he has the worst pose. bateman is styled all wrong & mars looks like an intolerable doucher.

  • snich11

    Fallon always looks too eager to be loved…

  • CeeQ

    Geez this is so difficult. I’m not into Bruno Mars’ look in this, it’s a little trying too hard but then that critique can be applied too all three of them! I love Bateman so there’s that too….

    Hmmm….I have to go with my instincts and pick Fallon because my first reaction to both Bateman and Mars was UH…WHAT….HMMMM…..whereas to Fallon it was HEH CUTE.

    So Fallon it is =)

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    Fallon. Because he looks completely dressed and while looking eager, he does NOT look douche-y. Fallon for the win.

  • crash1212

    All are meh in these pictures and they all look like their heads were transplanted onto some paper doll body. Me no likey. But, if I must – Jason FTW.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1551681662 Lauren Summers

    I like Bateman. I think that’s the only time I’ve ever seen him where he doesn’t look like someone’s dad.

  • DaringMiss

    Jimmy Fallon gets my vote.

    Charming face.

  • DaveUWSNYC

    Bate, man.

  • carolynmo

    Bateman. Always Bateman.

  • prettybigkitty

    The theme song for this photo shoot was “walk this way”

  • Anniebet

    Jimmy Fallon has no neck. Bateman’s tie is cool. Bruno’s pants too tight. Overall, meh.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    Have had secret crush on Jason Bateman since Little House on the Prairie, but he does not look like himself here.

  • demidaemon

    I vote “none of the above.” Bateman and Fallon look like they are going to jump off the page and assault you (possible sexually) and Mars reeks of Douche.

  • MzzPants

    Mars is showing the most swagger. But the other two have a warm place deep, deep in my heart.

  • libraangel

    Jason more macho, but Bruno rocks it

  • jw_ny

    Jimmy …adorable.

    None are macho really tho…

  • Jase Sherman

    They’re about as macho as Chris Colfer.

  • Trisha26

    Fallon by a mile. I hate the sockless look a la Bateman. Ditto for Mars plus everything he’s wearing is a least 1 size (if not 2) too small. (And since when are any of these looks/guys “macho?”)

  • carolie_king

    Bateman is the cutest thing ever. I had tea with his mom once, and she said I have exquisite hands (of course, right before I got married, so they were pretty pampered). So Jason and his nice mom for the win.

  • CristinaSalazar

    That posture is making Fallon’s head look 200 times bigger so I can’t give it to him. And since when a Dick Van Dyke look is a bad thing? My vote is for Bateman.

  • Beth G

    Oh Jason…. oh my…. yum yum yum.

  • pookiesmom

    Arrested Development FTW.

  • Noshmek

    That’s Jason Bateman? I thought it was some scrawny guy’s body they photoshopped a really awkward head shot of him from Silver Spoons, The Botox Reunion.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I’m all Jason Bateman on this one.

  • Daktari100

    I can’t find anything sexy about Bruno Mars, not in this picture, not in any picture ever. There, I said it.

  • Carly Warnock

    Normally I’d say Jimmy, I have a major thing for him and his sense of humour but Jason Bateman is giving me life here, he looks hot and I’m digging the Dick Van Dyke thing too!

  • Sharyn McHenry

    Please – Bateman. No contest.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Batemen. But I’m rocking a 30-year crush on him, so I’m probably biased.

  • reebism

    The answer to any question using the word “macho” will never be Jimmy Fallon. Ever.

  • guest2visits

    Bateman, I suppose.. but none of them are on my list for hotness.

  • littlemac8

    Fallon because I love him sooo much. I love Jason too but that doesn’t look like anything he would ever wear. Bruno Mars looks like a pretty little girl.

  • http://twitter.com/mannahattamamma MannahattaMamma

    No, actually, the real question is why men get to appear on the cover of GQ with all their clothes on, while any woman “lucky” enough to score a cover has to (un)dress like a vision from a horny boy’s adolescent daydreams?

  • libraangel

    That’s my baby – Bruno

  • Jennifer Coleman

    This is a sad lot. I’d give it to Fallon if I had a loaded gun to my head simply because he isn’t wearing ridiculously skinny pants.

  • librarygrrl64

    Sorry, but Bateman always wins. ALWAYS. Because, Bateman.

  • Haley Buchanan

    I actually think Jason Bateman looks adorable in the Dick van Dyke skinny pants and smoking jacket. Bruno Mars looks pretty adorable himself, but I’m going to give Bateman the edge. Fallon looks crazy. Also, Bateman and Fallon both look like their heads are Photoshopped on, but I’ll deal with it, since the magazines already do it to women 80% of the time.

  • http://cheekypinky.wordpress.com cheekypinky

    Bateman’s entire outfit is fabulous. Bruno needs a belt. Fallon looks all Terry Richardson-y…which isn’t his fault, but it is off-putting.

  • ccm800

    mars.