Christina Aguilera in Parker

Posted on March 21, 2013

In the interests of offering positive reinforcement to style-challenged celebrities, a principle held in high regard here at T Lo Celebrity Soothing, Int’l., we offer the following Public Service Announcement:

 

Christina Aguilera attends the screening of NBC’s ‘The Voice’ Season 4 in Hollywood, California in a Parker dress paired with a Versace belt, Christian Louboutin shoes, and Lorraine Schwartz jewelry.

Parker Flare Dress

 

Look, let’s all be nice. This is actually an improvement for her. Let us run down the ways:

While the dress does look like a goth cheerleader’s outfit and it’s not something we would have chosen for her, it does actually seem to fit her fairly well; or at least not spectacularly badly. There’s something really weird going on with the boobs, though. They seem to be rushing off to their left to get away. And, yeah, the belt’s so tight it’s giving her rolls and muffin top, but even with that, this is an improvement. No, really.

Again, while we would not have recommended sporting that particular face, we feel we need to applaud her for bravely sporting far less face than she normally does. In other words, it’s the wrong makeup, but at least it’s about 5 pounds less makeup than she normally sports. Similarly …

She’s several shades lighter than her normal nuclear orange.

This isn’t a good look, by any stretch of the imagination, but we need to all clap louder every time she takes a step away from her aging stripper drag. This is downright clean and fresh in comparison to her normal look. She almost looks her age, instead of 15 to 20 (and sometimes 40) years older than it. So, ummm…

Attagirl, Christina Maria. Attagirl.

 

[Photo Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images, shopbop.com]

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  • Sobaika

    I don’t care. I’m cheering because her makeup doesn’t involve 84 different colors.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      and body glitter!

      • H3ff

        Her arms do have a definite shimmer to them though…

    • MilaXX

      yes! big step up!

  • charlotte

    To quote Sam Seaborn: This is bad on so many levels.
    Give that dress to Emma Watson.

  • Missy Covington

    I just want to *wash* her. And not in a sexy way. It is better than normal, but if she’d get rid of the dirty-looking too-blonde extensions and the body-orange she could look totally stunning.

    • carolclark12

      I agree. I want her to go back to the porcelain skin/tamed hair look, like a blond Dita Von Teese.

    • judybrowni

      At least the extensions aren’t that aging, grey, over-bleached blond, like her actual hair.

      They look more natural than the real stuff.

      Plus: uni-boob.

      But other than that…

  • Kristen

    Yay for progress! But is it just me, or is she slowly morphing into Cyndi Lauper?

  • emchicago

    wow, she actually kind of looks her age. if you told me this girl was 27, I would believe you.

    • nancymae

      She’s 27!!!! I just knew she was 32 going on 45.

  • Indigo54

    This chick just never looks good in anything. NEVER! How is that possible?

  • Anathema_Device

    Agree with the idea of applauding baby steps. But I cannot click “post” without mentioning her hair. It is so tortured, I weep for it. That is some of the worst hair I have ever seen.

    • Adriana_Paula

      I wish she would talk to Gwen Stefani’s hair person if she insists on staying platinum.

      • RebeccaKW

        Or follow Dolly’s lead and wear wigs. She can afford the good ones.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I was thinking the same… What’s the deal with the top of her hair being white and the bottom part being yellow?? I’m no hair expert, but I’m pretty sure there are extensions closer in color to your natural hair.

      …or could it be the lighting?

      • Meg0GayGuys6

        (and I use the term “natural” incredibly loosely)

  • barbarienne

    On anyone else I would be cringing, but since she looks approximately her real age for the first time in years, I’m gonna give an encouraging nod and light applause.

    Next we have to convince her to dress for the body she actually has.

  • Janet B

    A giant step for Christina.
    She looks her age.

  • mjude

    i think ms xtina is so pretty but she has just lost her way & she needs to find new gays to lead her back.

  • barbarienne

    Also, the light hair, light face, dark arms, and even darker legs makes her look dip-dyed. Ombre Christina!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    I too thought, I see she’s breaking her spray tan & make up addiction. Baby steps, people.

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Yes, her makeup is LOADS better, by being loads less, and the dress sorta fits her. Such a shame that that kind of assessments garners an ‘attagirl’ for this one. But is it just me, or does she desperately need a nap or something? She doesn’t look… well.

  • Indigo54

    Feeling a little guilty for being mean so I’m gonna say something positive. THANK GOD SHE DIDN’T TURN AROUND AND SHOW THE BACK!

    • MilaXX

      I saw a back view on another site, honestly not bad.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    I love this tacky bitch, I will miss her on The Voice this season. And while I do love a good train wreck, it makes me inexplicably happy to see her taking progressive steps forward. I really want positive reinforcement to work here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

    Forehead down is good. But ombre blonde hair? Not so much.

  • http://www.facebook.com/aboutelle Ashleigh Boutelle

    totally agree…attagirl indeed…just fix those bosoms girl!

  • mightbewrong

    Definitely an ‘attagirl’ from me. I’m so glad she ditched the awful aging makeup, she looks so pretty in the last picture I can even forgive the orange.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Monzerrat-Ontiveros/100000216133922 Monzerrat Ontiveros

    She lost some weight also!

    • MilaXX

      I think it’s just better fitting clothes,

      • alyce1213

        She lost I think over 30 lbs and got toned (I’m guessing Pilates). It was in the news. I think it’s pretty evident, in both her confidence and carriage. This is a much better fitting dress also, and a step ahead for her.

  • MilaXX

    This is a tremendous step up. In fact, I’d kinda like the dress on her and kudos for not being orange. If the weave wasn’t so home done looking I would give this look a pass.

  • whirligig7

    I think she looks kind of great. I like this dress on her.

  • dorothyphoto

    Agree this is progress over her usual look. What outfit would you pick for her?

    • Tatiana Luján

      I have the same question, How would you reccomend her to dress?

  • http://twitter.com/tangodiva Tanya Wade

    I can’t get behind the urine colored hair, but yes, baby steps. Bless.

  • mhleta

    If I had a nickel for every time I said or heard, “Oh, sure! If had had her money I could have a personal trainer, a dietician and a stylist and look fabulous all the time, too.” Well she has the effin’ money, so why doesn’t she look fabulous all the time? If I saw her walking through a nice restaurant and my first thought would be that she was heading for a private room somewhere to meet the client who’d hired her to strip for Grandpa’s birthday party. My second thought would be, “Gosh, I hope he doesn’t catch something.” That’s NOT GOOD! She can and should look so much better.

  • Mazenderan

    Her make-up looks nice and fresh, and her outfit is more flattering than the last one featured here. She’s one of those people I have an irrational liking for, and I’d love to see her looking fantastic.

    • alyce1213

      I also can’t help but like her in spite of how she presents herself — tortured hair, thick drag makeup, really tasteless outfits, pumpkin skin, etc.

      She’s extremely talented and naturally great looking. I want better for her.

      This seems to be a step in the right direction; there’s hope (but I’m not holding my breath).

  • VicD

    She one set of opera length gloves from looking just like Miss Piggy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Walk towards the light, Christina! You can do it!

  • subwaycars

    Her hair is a mess, but she actually looks cute.

  • In_Stitches

    No, she isn’t orange. She’s graduated to leathery hide. Her face looks fine, but her limbs are so thickly spackled, she looks like she’s been left out to dry on a rack on a hot summer day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/samuel.j.donovan Samuel Joesph Donovan

    I actually think she looks pretty close to fantastic here. It seems like someone is finally embracing herself, or at least a stylist whose aesthetic isn’t “Varnish by Ed Hardy.” Fingers crossed.

    I also think her make up is perfection.

  • Little_Olive

    It does not cease to amaze me that those shoes are actually allowed as normal wear instead of the drag/stripper costume I see.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    For a girl who sings “all I want to do is love your body”, she clearly hates hers. 1 size up Xtina I promise you will feel and look better. Agreed this is better than her recent looks but I still want to scrub her down and brush her hair. Why do celebs prefer ratty extensions over healthy short hair?

  • thecitysleeps

    This is terrible, jesus. The dress and the hair and the make up even.

    I liek her because she is so body-positive (for all types of bodies not just hers) and she could dress so much better to show that a curvy girl can look amazing just as much as the supermodels…but alas.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

    Love her makeup. She looks fresh and happy. Good job, XTina!

  • Hetha Innis

    She’s actually a pretty girl when you peel off the layers of heavy make-up! Who knew?!

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    Does she really not realize how much that look ages her?

  • SewingSiren

    Horrid.

  • Barbara Woodruff

    What’s wrong with her boobs is that she has large, natural breasts and they aren’t getting the support they need in the top of that dress. If she didn’t want bra straps to show, I’m sure she could get at least some lift and positioning from a strapless bra.. Something with smooth lines shouldn’t show a bump through the material of the dress. This is so common, where a dress looks fine without a bra on a barely A-cup model, but not on a larger woman. Not saying Xtina is large, by any means, but she’s not model-sized either.

    • zuzu

      It’s also that particular neckline. It’s always awkward when the straps come in so close to the throat, but it looks particularly wack on women with large breasts. That accounts for the appearance that her boobs are trying to make a run for it to her left side.

    • http://twitter.com/SarahVotes Sarah Bailey

      Kathira, is it you?? (sjbtiger)

      • Barbara Woodruff

        Yes, it is. You have to know that Edna Mode has a thing or two to say about fashion!

    • makeityourself

      Barbara, it’s very kind of you to think that those are natural, but they are not. Haven’t been for a long, long time. I’m trying valiantly to not break TLo’s rules about commenting on bodies, but there is virtually nothing in this picture that is natural.

    • mskgb

      No comment re: naturalness, but she seems to have had the original shoulder/neckline altered in a way that doesn’t work for busty women. One look at the bustline and all I could hear was my mother saying, “You need to wear a supportive bra with that.” Xtina could hire my mother and rest assured she would never again be allowed to leave the house without donning a supportive bra.

  • alyce1213

    Hair and “tan” still need to depart, but it’s a baby step up for her in dress choice and makeup — not great, but BETTER.

  • julnyes

    This is refreshingly light for her. I think she is very talented and pretty and hope we get to see more of that instead of the shellacked orange thing she keeps throwing out there.

  • PrunellaV

    Lady wrestler.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    I think, for the first time, I might actually be seeing what she really looks like. I was always convinced that sans makeup and with her hair in a ponytail, she could walk down the street and not be recognized. But then, she would never do that would she.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2066192 Melissa Mellon

    Next step: hair.

  • snarkykitten

    her face is several shades lighter than the rest of her. I will not comment on that hair.

  • formerlyAnon

    You sum it up well. I do wish she’d stick with the sleek, shiny, set-into-waves-or-curls white blonde if she MUST be white blonde.

  • sweetlilvoice

    Her hair actually looks more blonde and less platinum. An improvement!

  • schadenfreudelicious

    yes atleast the makeup has not been applied with a trowel..now if only we could work on a skin color slighly less dortito-ey…the hair needs to be yanked off and burned with fire…

  • PeaceBang

    Good face, girl!! Okay! *encouraging applause*

  • Carly Warnock

    Agreed! She looks quite nice. I’m happy for her that she is toning it down.

  • RedRaven617

    I see signs of the ‘before’ Christina and I’m happy to see her back. Her makeup is soooo much better.

  • marilyn

    She is looking better. I wish she would cut her hair into a style that is more flattering for her face. The long straggly bleached look actually ages her.

  • stubbornthoughts

    Much better face, but her nuclear orange was apparently replaced by gallons of shimmer glitter. I remember dousing myself in shimmer lotion and glitter spray – for a high school dance.

  • Imasewsure

    It’s a start… but boy that top is wonky on her… needs no hills and valleys to lay properly I think

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001998855370 Fatima Siddique

    She needs to keep her hair up and out of the way until it recovers from whatever she’s done to it over the years.

  • MzzPants

    In an effort to make the dress fit her rack and her shoulders, the strap/armhole area got a little wonky. It’s a well-done alteration, I’m sure, but the final effect looks awkward and makes her boobs appear larger.

  • libraangel

    Better – maybe. Good – no

  • gracedarling

    She looks oddly like Jewel in some of these photos, no? In any case, yes, she looks much better, but I just want to take some shears and give her a cute little Louise Brooks bob and dress her in some jewel tones. And scrub off the spray tan. Such great bone structure for such a generic look.

  • Toto Maya

    She needs to take her hair in a different direction.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Aw, honey. Baby steps, indeed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

    I just want to sit her down, slap her in the face and then go for drinks.

  • ccm800

    sad saying that this is better than usual. Get it together chickie.

  • littlemac8

    Yes, It’s the reinforcement principle of shaping in which you give positive reinforcement for steps in the desired direction in the hopes the individual will consciously or unconsciously notice and continue responding in incremental steps. So attagirl!

  • Contralto

    She just needs a reboot. Seriously.

  • lobsterlen

    I actually saw Christine in motion wearing this dress on one of the entertainment shows last night. Even the “reporter” noted her mega-orange glitterly legs. What is wrong with her head?

  • librarygrrl64

    I thought the thumbnail was Fergie.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    What everyone says, I say “hear hear!’ Truly, can’t we get her back to her regular skin tone and to hair that isn’t so thrashed? And if she could brush her hair? I would like that. But I must say, it’s REALLYREALLYREALLYREALLY nice to see a girl who looks like a normal sized person being photographed. I like her little muffin top. It makes me feel like she’s a person who would also order a muffin if you went to coffee with her.

  • mmc2315

    It’s so different, I didn’t recognize her. So…that’s a good thing, right?

  • tereliz

    Honestly, if her hair was scraped back into a sleek pony, this might have been a recent personal best. That’s what’s bringing the whole look down, imo.

  • kathrineb

    I can’t get past the skin…too much fake tan? The head and the legs look like they would belong to different people

  • shanteUstay

    How is it possible that she looks sooo different that the teen queen we knew and loved, but still managed to retain that “dirty to the touch” aesthetic.

    Ever since “dirrrty” came out, she’s made me feel like I need to wash my hands at the sight her