2013 Kid’s Choice Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on March 25, 2013

Slime it, bitches!

 

 

Amandla Stenberg in Opening Ceremony

Uh… did she age like 5 years in the last year or something? She looks adorable. Very cute dress and surprisingly sophisticated without looking too grownup on her.

But we bet half the adult ladies reading this want her dress.
 
 

Ariana Grande in Alice + Olivia

Also kind of cute, in a Minnie Mouse sort of way. The shoes remain an abomination unto the Lord, but we’re not gonna yell at a little girl. Not this time, anyway.

 

 

Ashley Tisdale in Rafael Cennamo

Seems almost too grownup for the event. Basically, if it looks like you’re going out for drinks with a 40-year-old later, then maybe it’s not entirely Kids’ Choice Awards-appropriate.

 

 

Bella Thorne in Bec & Bridge

So… what? Is this a thing with the young ladies? Pink and green accessories in the same outfit? Because Uncles T & Lo might have a few things to say about THAT.

 

 

Elizabeth Gillies in Nikki Rich

Honey, your outfit’s so past its expiration date it’s growing fuzz on it.

 

 

Fergie in Mary Katrantzou

We so want to give her a makeover. Girlfriend needs one. This is not a bad dress – in fact, it’s a cute one – but we really think the best thing she can do with her style is simplify it as much as possible. That includes toning down the loud prints and colors.

 

 

Gabby Douglas

Very cute, in a Freshman Dance kinda way.
 
 

Jessica Alba in Mary Katrantzou

Little bows on top of shoes make our eyes twitch, but we can’t deny she looks cool and chic here. That’s a great little dress.
 
 

Ke$ha

Proof once again that the stars hang on our every word. What did we say when last we spoke of Ke-doll? We said she had no wit to her cray-cray. Now don’t get us wrong, a ladytux isn’t exactly daring or even all that witty anymore but cut her some slack. She’s trying to be witty without the blessing of wit. It’s like watching a kid struggle with a knock-knock joke. This is the equivalent of us politely laughing and saying, “What a funny joke!” to a 5-year-old.

 

 

Kiernan Shipka in Rag & Bone

Showing all those bitches how it’s done.

 

 

Kristen Wiig

We could’ve gotten behind this as a sort of harder-edged version of a mom uniform. Like, if you switched out all the fabrics and colors for ones more conservative, she’d look like she was a hip mom at a kid’s soccer game in the suburbs. But those shoes are horrendous. Put on a pair of Chucks or something, girl.
 
 

Lucy Hale in Christian Dior

Cute, but the skirt shape is a bit much.
 
 

Miranda Cosgrove in Stella McCartney

We could shoot for something snarky, but we’re just going to go with what popped out of our mouths after looking at this:

“Wow. What an ugly dress.”

Says it all, yes?
 
 

Selena Gomez in Oscar de la Renta

The outfit is very cute and chic, with a little bit of fun to it, but oh holy Jesus, we have reached the very PINNACLE of the cocker spaniel hair trend. From the neck up, she looks EXACTLY like Lady from Lady and the Tramp.  That’s not us being mean about her looks. Lady was a babe. But that hair is so many different kinds of awful.

SHE HAS GIANT DOG EARS. DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THAT?

 
 

Victoria Justice in Pia Pauro

Cute. Lots of wild prints on the RC this time. We approve.

Those shoes look she won them out of a vending machine.

 

 

Willow Smith in Chanel

GOD, we hope we live long enough to read the tell-all book she’s going to write about her parents in 35 years. That one’s going to be EPIC, we just know it.

This getup has the hand of Jada all over it. Which is a shame, because that edgy hardness works fine for a woman of Jada’s age, but it’s a terrible choice for a 12-year-old.

The Hand of Jada sounds like a Star Wars sequel.
 
 
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos]

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