PR: Honky Tonk Woman

Posted on February 22, 2013

Yeehaw! Dead cattle! Never before in the history of Project Runway…!

 

We don’t mind when the designers are forced to make something far outside the confines of the world of fashion. Once they handled lady wrestlers and drag queens, all bets were off.

 

But Miranda strikes us as an uninspiring choice because her stagewear is standard honkytonk and her red carpet wear couldn’t be any plainer. The only design issue was how to make such boring clothes interesting enough to the judges to not get yelled at. Someone like Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood would have made a more interesting client.

 

And the fears we had about the team setup are starting to come a little true. We knew they were going to shake things up further and we think it was a mistake. There was mileage still to be gotten out of the two-team lineup and this abrupt change killed the momentum. Now, it’s all new relationships. Which is fine, we suppose, but this shook out kind of oddly. Everyone went off in teams of two. Each team conferred thusly: “Is that your design? Okay, here’s my design. We good? We’re good.” There was very little collaboration and we had the oddity of team members expressing vague concern about each other but essentially leaving each other to their own devices. “Gosh, I sure hope my team mate pulls it together.” Essentially, everyone acted like they weren’t on a team at all.

 

Richard

So congrats to Richard, who gave off a distinct crazy-man vibe this episode. Stanley had the thousand-yard-stare, backing-into-a-corner look of someone who realized his teammate is just a leeeetle less than stable.

Anyway, we like this, but we think it’s indicative of the problems with this challenge. It’s almost impossible to make something interesting for Miranda Lambert to wear because she rarely ever wears anything interesting. Even from a stagewear perspective, this is hardly exciting.

 

Benjamin

Again, this is what gets praised when you make a dress for Miranda. It’s fine; good even, but it’s one of the dullest garments to ever receive the kind of high praise the judges gave it. We kept waiting for Michael Kors to storm in and yell “ARE YOU BITCHES NUTS? I SHIT BETTER GOWNS THAN THIS BEFORE BREAKFAST!”

But alas…

We don’t hate it. It’s perfectly pretty. But it’s also perfectly plain.

 

Amanda

We absolutely thought this should’ve won. It’s no more innovative than Richard’s or Benjamin’s but it had an easy swing and style to it that the other two lacked. We can’t really explain this statement, but of the top three, this one felt like it was designed by a woman for a woman, instead of designed by a man for an image of a woman they had in their heads.

 

Stanley

Pretty, but plain. The judges were right to point out the fullness of the skirt as a problem. And it took them forever to say it, but Zac finally pointed out how wonky the fit of the bust is.

 

Kate

Y’know, we originally though this was loud and tacky, but the more we look at it, especially in relation to the top 3, we think it at least has some real personality to it. We’re not sure Miranda would ever wear a dress shaped like this, but we have to give Kate credit for trying to do something interesting, with personality.

So of course she gets shuffled backstage with nary a comment.

 

Layana

Boring.

 

Patricia

Dear God, ENOUGH. It’s time for the judges to come down on her hard. Her obsessive need to manipulate and make her own textiles, no matter what the challenge asks for, is becoming really annoying. There have been one or two times it really worked, but you can’t do this kind of thing with every single outfit.

Besides, this is hideous.

 

Tu

This is a really interesting dress. Unfortunately, “interesting” was not on the menu for this challenge. In truth, he was so far off from the way Miranda dresses that he really should have been in the bottom for it, but we think the judges all secretly liked the dress on its own merits and let it skate by.

 

Michelle

Horrifying. Truly awful. So bad, we’re struggling to explain why she wasn’t auf’d for it. The only reasons we can come up with are

  1. Her Nina impression was seriously spot on and funny
  2. She defended her work vigorously and that impressed the judges/producers.

But this is just a mess.

 

Samantha

The vest wasn’t bad, but that skirt is embarrassing. It doesn’t even look like a garment. She’s lucky she had immunity, and by “lucky,” we mean “took advantage of the fact.”

 

 

Daniel

Is it time yet for us to admit that we can’t stand Daniel? We know he’s beloved by many of the commentariat, but we think he comes off phony and playing to the cameras way too much. Please don’t stone us.

We also think he got cocky last night, and this was the result. We were never all that impressed with his aesthetic, which strikes us as very ball gown, and we think his taste issues were on full display with this one. You have to be seriously delusional or have seriously questionable taste to go around singing about how gorgeous this mess is.

 

Matthew

And it’s Auf Wiedersehen to Matthew, who we thought was sweet and kind of cute. This is not at all a horrible design. It’s completely wrong for Miranda Lambert and a very poor attempt at stagewear, but it’s not bad at all. We would have sent Daniel or Michelle home over this one, easily. But he crumbled on the runway and we suppose his lack of confidence was the reason for the auf’ing, which strikes us as a silly reason to eliminate someone.

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

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