Oscars 2013 Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on February 25, 2013

All right, people. Here’s everyone we didn’t get to. We’re exhausted, so they’re only going to get the quick n’ dirty, drive-by assessment. We almost feel bad about that but hey, if they’d worn something really impressive, they wouldn’t have wound up stuck in this rundown, now would they?

Hit it, also-rans!

 

 

Amanda Seyfried in Alexander McQueen

It’s not fair to saddle her with all the blame for the hundreds of thousands of washed-out dresses last night, but we did kinda throw up our hands by the time she got out of her limo. It’s pretty enough, but we think she’s a gal who needs color.

 

 

Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta

Nothing says “Academy Award Nominee” like a dress that looks like a dirty dust ruffle.

 

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Zuhair Murad

Mrs. Michael Douglas is NOT FOOLING AROUND, PEOPLE. SHE’S BACK – AND YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO HER.

 

 

Fan Bingbing in Marchesa

We loves ourselves some Bing Bing, but this is just a bit too “folded-napkin.” Pretty, though.

 

 

Helena Bonham Carter in Vivienne Westwood

We’ve seen better from you, Missie. Your hair’s a fright and your dress looks like a pile of laundry.

 

 

Helen Hunt in H&M

Helen Hunt, to Ryan Seacrest: “My dress is from H&M!”

Tom & Lorenzo, to Helen Hunt: “It looks it!”

 

 

Jacki Weaver in Rani Zakhem

Bless her heart. We have no idea what the poor dear was thinking.

 

 

Jane Fonda in Atelier Versace

Miss Fonda kindly requests that you eat it, bitches.

 

 

Jenna Dewan-Tatum in Rachel Roy

We give her a lot of credit for not going flowy right now, nor is she doing the “LOOK AT MY BUMP” thing. It’s an unusual choice for a preggo, but she looks pretty good.

 

 

Jennifer Hudson in Roberto Cavalli

We don’t love the matchy-but-not-quite shoe, but the dress is gorgeous.

 

 

Kelly Osbourne in Tony Ward Couture

This looks fine here, but it all got very sloppy very quickly on camera. When they ran out of celebrities to talk to (and by the way, what happened there?) and were seated at that giant E! conference table, she was all askew.

 

 

Kelly Rowland in Donna Karan Atelier

Could’ve done with a slightly more demure slit, but the dress is dramatic and gorgeous.  Jamie Foxx was certainly in awe. He practically drooled on her.

 

 

Kerry Washington in Miu Miu

Very, very pretty. Love the color. The bodice looks a bit stiff and heavy, though.

 

 

Kristen Stewart in Reem Acra

This is one of the worst formal outfits we’ve ever seen her in. It washes her out and it’s terribly unflattering to her shape.

 

 

Kristin Chenoweth in Tony Ward Couture

It’s a lot of dress, but it’s the Oscars, so you might as well go for it. We think she looks awesome.

 

 

Melissa McCarthy in David Meister

Worst of the night – by FAR. And it pains us to have to say so, because it really doesn’t have to be like this. This is a pinned, draped, voluminous nightmare in battleship gray – totally and utterly unflattering. The opposite of pretty. Melissa, whoever told you you were stuck dressing like this because of your size is an IDIOT.

 

 

Olivia Munn in Marchesa

She looks like a box of Valentine’s chocolates – which is not a bad thing at all. She looks great with some makeup on her; something we’re not used to seeing.

 

 

Queen Latifah in Badgley Mischka

Pretty much flawless.

 

 

Reese Witherspoon in Louis Vuitton

Pretty. A little stiff. We don’t love the cups or the titbow.

 

 

Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen

It’s a crime to do that to those magnificent boobs.

 

 

Samantha Barks in Valentino

She kept it very simple, with just enough sex appeal. Seems like a funny thing to say about a gown plunging down to there, but it struck us as a classy way to go when you know you’ll be standing next to Anne Hathaway and Amanda Seyfried on stage.

 

 

Sandra Bullock in Elie Saab

It’s pretty, but we’ve seen her in this a dozen times.

 

 

Shirley Bassey

SEVENTY-SIX YEARS OLD, PEOPLE. Bow down.

 

 

Stacey Keibler in Naeem Khan

Stunning. One of the absolute best of the night.

 

 

Zoe Saldana in Alexis Mabille Couture

We think the top half gets a little too fussy and precious, but we love the bottom half and those layered hems.

 

Alright, kittens. We are OSCAR’D OUT. We’ll be back early in the a.m. with all the best and worst of the after-parties! Ciao, darlings! Daddy and Daddy have to go pass out now.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, Getty]

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  • http://twitter.com/Julia_JJ Julie Johnston

    I covet Keibler’s dress. COVET

    • Sobaika

      Who knew round two of being George’s Award Season Arm Candy came with such a wardrobe upgrade?

      • oldbobbydraper

        brad goreski does an amazing job styling her.

        • annrr

          Fun! I didn’t remember Brad styled her. One of my favorites, she always brings it.

      • BazoDee

        I think last seasons was as spectacular – I think it got her a WERQ.

    • rumcg66

      Its outstanding. If she had been a nominee or presenter instead of Clooney’s eye candy, she’d have been a WERQ.

    • http://onionjam.tumblr.com SkipperJane

      My aunt, who doesn’t give a crap about Hollywood or fashion, was drooling over this dress. She’s a huge Erte fan, and could totally see the inspiration for the design. 

    • Susannah Perry

       Her dress was FLAWLESS but I cannot even with that hair.  I hate it with fiery passion.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I covet the dress and her arm candy.Grrrr…

  • http://twitter.com/juliafoxtrot Julia Fox

    You think K-Stew could have at least washed her hair for the Oscars.

    • Rand Ortega

       It’s hard to wash your hair when you’re high. Or pick a decent dress.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

        Shoot, she ain’t picking anything. She’s letting people give her stuff, and saying “fine” and thinking she’s cool for not giving a shit.

        • Little_Olive

          Then she might as well stay home.

      • trisker

         She looked stoned or drunk or both, and was PISSED about being on crutches — I guess that was it anyway….

        • buildmeatower

           I’ve heard that she was on serious pain meds, which excuses a lot in my book.

          • Comus

            Normally, I’d agree, but her surly demeanor and awkward manner while presenting just seemed like her usual schtick.

          • Jecca2244

             Why was she on crutches? I didn’t know that and was so confused as to why she limped onto stage.

          • http://completeflake.com/ LaVonne Ellis

            She stepped on a piece of glass a couple of days ago and cut her foot up pretty badly. 

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000344250661 Kari Roberts

             She had apparently stepped on glass a day or two ago and slashed the ball of her foot.

          • VicksieDo

            Crack pipe…?

          • capybara_cafe

             The weight of her own bitchy attitude got to be too much, and her knees gave out.

          • RebeccaKW

             I agree.  Yes, pain meds excuse a lot.  But if meds make you act liked a bored bitch who doesn’t want to be on stage presenting an award, politely excuse yourself.  I would much rather hear she opted out of presenting b/c of pain meds than watch that presentation.

          • SerpentsDance

            Good point. When I had my wisdom teeth out my husband had to restrain me because I was going to go outside to chase down imaginary chickens. Painkillers completely screw me up. If I’d been in that situation they’d be lucky if I turned up in a dress at all..

          • twocee

            I swear I’m not laughing at your pain (wisdom teeth HURT), but you just made me spit coffee on my keyboard.  Thank you…I needed that laugh this morning.

          • http://www.serpentsdance.etsy.com/ SerpentsDance

            Yeah, I’m apparently pretty entertaining on the pain meds. One of my friends described it as “squirrel on massive amounts of crack”.

            To this day I’m not sure what I was planning on doing with the imaginary chickens..

          • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

            Sure, but if that’s the case, stay home! 

    • MK03

      She’s the queen of “I don’t give a fuck.” why would Oscar night be any different?

    • http://twitter.com/lisledanielle Danielle Lisle

      She looks like she couldn’t care less about being at the most important awards ceremony of the year. If that’s the case, let her “retire” and I’ll take her place. Surely I can lick my lips and stare blankly at the camera with the same, if not more, skill she does.

      • capybara_cafe

         The thing that’s most annoying is that she acts so put upon that people want her to come to things like this, and all the Twilight opening things. How is it that she doesn’t remember that no one knew who the hell she was before those movies? Show a little gratitude and effort or gtfo.

        • http://www.serpentsdance.etsy.com/ SerpentsDance

          Yep. If people wanted to send me incredibly expensive and beautiful clothing, shoes, and jewelry and spend a few hours at a show with lots of attractive people also wearing incredibly expensive and beautiful clothing, I’d be having extreme fits of glee. I would also enjoy piling said beautiful clothing in the middle of my floor just so I could wallow in it like a pig in a mudpit. I could certainly muster up a smile and take a shower for events.

  • Linda Ginsburg

    And Stacy goes out with a bang! (The contract is about up, isn’t it?)

    • Tom Shea

       What, jealous Oberon?

      • lovelyivy

        I could see this look being featured in a modern adaptation of Midsummer Night’s Dream. She’s got regal and proud in spades in this dress!

    • Jennifer Coleman

      She warrants a 6 month contract extension for exemplary work during the awards season, no?

    • oldbobbydraper

      we can only hope.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      I’m betting that the (inevitable) breakup press release comes in the next couple of months. 

  • altalinda

    I thought Jane F. pretty much put everyone else to shame.

    • megohd

      She looked great but she and Halle Berry (who also looked great) felt a bit Dynasty chic to me. Not a bad thing, I guess, but just not my favorite. I guess I’d rather be thinking “Dynasty chic” than hearing the words “Old Hollywood Glamour” for the seven-billionth time. 

  • http://twitter.com/Swegler_Nimitz Ms. Swegler

    Cracked up about the “It’s from H&M” and then the TLO “It looks it.” comment.  I knew somehow you both had said that.  Spot on for almost all of them –  just didn’t love Stacey’s hair. So glad you posted this, and looking forward to tomorrow! 

    • twocee

       I agree about Stacey’s hair, but the dress more than made up for it.

  • hughman

    Poor Melissa McCarthy. The Helen Gurley Brown hair didn’t help but every time she moved I thought “why is her dress lined in Hefty trash bags?”

    • Elaine Lang

       Dear Melissa:  

      Please have lunch with Queen Latifah and get the number of every damn person in her Rolodex.    You are so talented and pretty…you need to rock the “I AM A SUPERSIZED VERSION OF FIERCE LADYNESS:   BOW DOWN.” look the way she does.   Because, seriously.   you are a super talented lady with tons of pretty as a bonus.   The Queen seems to know how to work this angle.

      • Rand Ortega

         & then call Olivia Spencer. Just to make sure. & then go out to lunch w/ them, record it & put it on Youtube because, Awesome!!

        • Tom Shea

           Octavia. But yes.

          • Rand Ortega

             After I nearly put out a contract out on E! for calling her Viola Davis & yelled at a friend for calling her (the late great) Octavia Butler, I go & do that. Thanks, Tom.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         Right?! Octavia Spencer and Queen Latifah managed to both look gorgeous; Melissa McCarthy needs to hire whoever styles them. I mean, Come ON. And here’s Octavia in a dress that’s honestly not as fabulous as what she usually wears, and it’s still ten thousand time better than the hefty garbage bag that MM is wearing.

        • TRSTL

          I hear what you are saying but….. Queen latifah and Melissa McCarthy have two completely different bodies.  Totally different!  Making the mistake that all larger woman are the same is the same as saying all tall girls are the same or all black girls are the same.  Queen is quite tall, statuesque and carries a LOT of her weight on her upper body/bust/shoulders.  Melissa has a very ample midsectiona and hips/booty and not that large of a bust.  And is not tall at all.  The dress that Q wears will not translate into a great dress on M.  She needs a stylist/designer who recognizes that and will work for HER, not just for another “fat girl”.  We all are different…

          • Sarah Dickerson

             Nobody’s saying she should raid Queen Latifah’s closet, for crying out loud, but she needs a stylist that is comfortable working with ladies of size and finding things that make them look their best.  That’s going to take someone who has some experience dressing people who aren’t stick figures.  No, they’re not shaped the same, but the same styling skills translate.

          • megohd

            Good point, that she needs someone who isn’t afraid of size. But I have to say I think Melissa McCarthy would be much tougher to dress than almost anyone. Octavia (who looks seriously amazing, btw) and Latifah both have conventional, hourglass shapes. They may be bigger, but they are enviable in terms of proportion (and the va-va-voom factor). Melissa doesn’t seem to have that one feature that you would choose to emphasize and work with—with the exception of her beautiful face.

            I actually thought this dress came closest to flattering her of all the looks I’ve seen her in, in terms of the drape. But then you got the garbage back liner, etc., and it fell apart. 

          • barbarienne

             The biggest thing working against her is her height. She needs to talk to Octavia Spenser’s stylist more than Queen Latifah’s.

            Melissa has a waist–it’s just kind of high and short. I suspect at least some of her clothing choices are based on physical comfort. When you are a larger lady, you learn that clothes can pull and constrict in ways that no amount of tailoring is going to help. (Or perhaps it would, but until you have the money/fame that gets you custom-made clothes, you are dressing yourself and learning about this problem until you believe NO ONE can possibly make clothes that don’t pull.)

            There’s a reason many big girls default to loose, flowy clothes, and it has nothing to do with trying to “hide” anything.

          • Adriana_Paula

            Well hell, Gabby Sidibe always looks better than this at awards shows.  And Melissa was always adorably styled on Gilmore Girls…

          • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

             I understand and agree with you 100%. However, whoever is styling her is CLEARLY unable to do so correctly, so MM clearly needs a stylist who knows how to dress women outside of the Hollywood “norm.” Queen Latifah and Octavia Spencer – while having different body types than MM – have people who know what they’re doing when dressing a client who isn’t a size 2.

            It would be like a black actress hiring a hair stylist who is familiar with dealing with black women’s hair. Not all black women have the same hair, but it’s a step in the right direction towards having someone who knows what they’re doing.

    • Carly Warnock

      thought the same thing about the garbage bag liner. spot on!

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

      She probably thought it was comfy, and posed around in a way that made her feel she looked artfully draped, in a sumptuous way. Ladies of girth are often prone to this, speaking from past experience, and can often fall prey to the idea that it will be nice to be relaxed and not trussed up in a cool-looking dress, but unfortunately it would behoove one, always, to think of tailoring as their friend.

    • MK03

      I’m beginning to suspect that she dresses herself. There is simply no way that a paid stylist would do such a consistently godawful job dressing her.

      • Stefanie Mackenzie

        Miss Melissa needs to stop wearing these expensive shmattas, and get someone who knows how to work with and drape the large body. As a big lady myself (I’m fairly much Miss M’s body double), I know there are styles which would be lovely on her. There are designers who are really good at designing for the large woman, and she should find them. She doesn’t needs to keep showing up in these things that scream “Fashions by Hefty”.

    • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

      She dresses like this a lot.  She was on Ellen wearing what amounted to a muumuu.  I’m not sure if it’s a “Fuck it, I’m going to be comfortable.” or she really doesn’t know how to dress her body.

  • SerpentsDance

    So..did KStew just roll out of bed after a drunken weekend, yank on her dress, and show up at the Oscars? Cause that’s kind of what she’s looking like. Unwashed after a two day bender.

    • Nicholas

      I think she was on horse tranqs or something. She was on crutches for some of the duration of her red-carpet walk.

      • Sweetbetty

         Her publicist says she cut her foot on some glass, thus the crutches and limp without them.  She also has a noticeable bruise or two on her arm and she was there without Mr. Pattison.

        • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

          What the heck has she been doing?

    • Snailstsichr

       It looks like she didn’t quite yank it up high enough. Something looks off in the fit. When she was on stage I was seriously afraid it would pop off.

      • kimmeister

        I think she just didn’t fill out the cups.  It was like, this is where boobs are supposed to go, but they’re not there.

        • SerpentsDance

          Agreed. The fit on the dress is weird because the cups aren’t the right size for her. She needs some of those inserts. I can’t ever fill out the tops of formal dresses either (it’s like they think everyone who dresses fancy must have at least a C cup), so I’m very familiar with the need to strap on a mega-bra with some additional boobage inside.

          • kimmeister

            Ditto!  My wedding dress was made for someone who is 6 feet tall, size 4, with DD’s.  I am only one of those things so some major alterations were needed!

          • http://www.serpentsdance.etsy.com/ SerpentsDance

            We have a formal gala at work once a year, and every year I have to call my sister so that I can borrow her “spare boobs” as I call them..some of those go-up-a-cup-size inserts. Which horrified my poor husband, because he initially thought I had borrowed my mother’s prosthesis. I explained to him that no, I wasn’t wearing my Mom’s boobs. I was wearing my sister’s boobs. Somehow that did not comfort him.

      • twocee

         I swear she was holding the dress up on stage. 

    • oldbobbydraper

      that’s how she always looks.

    • LLuL

      I was hoping KStew would get her own post. Because what.the.hell. She came complete with a nasty bruise on her arm. No one around to cover that up for her? Must have been fresh. Lohan realness, folks.

  • werika

    Stacey Keibler looked uh-mazing. As did Ms. Fonda.

  • StellaZafella

    Jane Fonda, Queen Latifah, Shirley Bassie…

    MY ‘Charlies Angels’…that is all.

    • Rand Ortega

       That’s a movie I’d pay double to see!

    • e jerry powell

      The Chyron for all three should have read “SUCK IT, BITCHES” any time they were on camera.  It was that ridonkulously spot-on.  Barbarella still got it!

  • werika

     I think it might very well be. The poor thing, and just when she was getting used to the high life!

  • imperfectlaura

    Jenna Dewan and Stacy Keibler were both styled by Brad Goreski.  If he and Rachel Zoe were having a styling battle, he absolutely won.  Stacy was my favorite of the night.

    • gabbilevy

      They weren’t even playing the same game. Zoe should be mortified.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Honestly, I’ve never been head over heels in love with Rachel Zoe as a stylist. And Brad Goreski nailed it with Stacey Keiber last night. 

  • Nicholas

    They call Amy Adams The Swiffer.

    • charlotte

       I was about to say that.

      • Nicholas

        It was low-hanging fruit, but I just couldn’t leave it there.

  • Adelaidey

    Seriously, where WERE the rest of the celebrities? Did Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Michelle Williams, ScarJo, Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, Penelope Cruz, Angelina Jolie, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Cameron Diaz, Freida Pinto, Carey Mulligan and Marion Cotillard have something better to do last night?

    • imperfectlaura

      Natalie Portman only got an invite to the Vanity Fair party.  THE HORROR!  But seriously, there were a lot of famous faces missing from the red carpet.

      • Nelliebelle1197

         Seriously? A winner? And Salma Hayek and Kelly Osborne got in?

        • Little_Olive

          More importantly, KStew got in?

        • http://twitter.com/kerryev kerryev

          And some sort of Real Housewife wearing the most hideous thing there, even when compared to KStew’s scowl.

          • http://hearmeintheharmony.wordpress.com/ Melanie

            Oh, God. Brandi Glanville, right?  That thing was dishwater gray and *barely* covered her nipples.  The Academy should be mortified.

      • Rand Ortega

         GASP!

      • trisker

         I noticed that too. Brangelina didn’t come, nor Julia Robertson, Susan Sarandon — was Viola Davis there? Emma Stone?  I missed some of the red carpet…

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

       I wondered top…the “Avengers Assemble” (another bombed moment) was missing ScarJo….(and writing, timing, humor, jokes, etc)

      • kschwarting

        ScarJo is on Broadway in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”–that may explain her absence if she didn’t wish to send her understudy on in her place.

    • NC_Meg

       I was thinking about that because it seems like people (mostly ladies) that had huge Oscar buzz last year (or even the year before) were MIA this year.

    • Tatiana Luján

      Julianne Moore, Helen Mirren, Judi Dench…

    • http://twitter.com/hmbscully WendyD

      They weren’t there because they weren’t invited. It’s really hard to secure an invitation to the Oscars unless you are nominated/part of a nominated film/presenting. We tend to think it is all celebs, but it’s not. I’d say 2/3rds of the audience is made up of people you’ve never heard of who worked on the nominated films and people who work for the Academy.

  • werika

    She was inspired by the Sliver Linings Playbook garbage bag couture.

  • lundibleu

    Melissa McCarthy, get your people to speak to Octavia Spencer’s people. Now. Seriously, tents are not your only option.

    • Derek_anny

       I’m waiting for someone to hand Selma a pair of snakes.

  • hypeman414

    Stacy Keibler’s dress was just fantastic.  It looked even better on camera.  Stacy FTW.  I also liked Zoe Saldana’s.  I hated Jennifer Hudson’s and Kerry Washington’s hair.  Also Reese Witherspoon needs to wear dresses that allow for a bra; it always goes astray when strapless.  It seems to me that she didn’t try very hard (her hairdresser did try hard though).

  • Mb

    I wanted to like Catherine Zeta-Jones’ dress…it starts off looking rich, but then towards the bottom it morphs into a cheap Christmas decoration.

  • MissMariRose

    HOLY SHIT, Shirley Bassey!

    • MarTeaNi

      God DAMN, Shirley Bassey! <3

      • Rand Ortega

         DAME Shirley Bassey!

  • IAmJ

    Stacy Keibler was my absolute favorite of the night. I really love Shirley Bassey’s dress too. Also liked Zoe Saldana’s look, although agree that there were one or two elements too many in the top half.

  • http://twitter.com/ashleyfmiller Ashley F. Miller

    I have to disagree with you on Queen Latifah, who I absolutely adore.  She looks like she’s wearing something of the clearance rack at David’s Bridal.  Surprised you liked it with your general hating on the wedding dresses on the carpet.

  • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

    Rare misses or near-misses from some usually dependable redcarpeteers — Fan Bingbing, Zoe Saldana & Kelly Rowland.  Kerry Washington and Olivian Munn both look a little stumpy, but I acknowledge the possibility of its simply being a bad angle for short women.  Queen Latifah looked magnificent, and DSB delivered in so, so many ways.  When I said earlier that Sally Field’s dress went a little bit “old lady,” I was specifically thinking of Dame Shirley’s dress as a contrast.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    is it just me or is that Marchesa dress doing very odd things to Olivia Munn’s proportions, she looks like she is standing in a hole…

    • zenobar

       Not just you.  Honestly it looks like the bodice is about 2 sizes too small (a perfect case of “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”).

    • charlotte

      Yup, that’s exactly what I said when I first saw her on TV.

    • oldbobbydraper

      i don’t even know or understand why she was at this event… ?

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         THANK YOU. Every time I see her on a red carpet, I have to ask myself “who is she again?” Seriously, why was she there?

      • christinewithanx

         She shows up at all sorts of things no one cares her to be at, always peering over her shoulder, blah. At least she doens’t look high? Yay lipstick.

  • NC_Meg

    I think that Queen Latifah hang out with Melissa McCarthy for a while and teach her how to dress herself.

  • Imasewsure

    Wow there was some real crap on the RC last night!! Bow down to the Queen and the Dowagers Jane and Shirley though… GORGEOUS!!

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

       Actually, I think this red carpet was pretty good, in that the only true WTF dress (for me, anyway) was Melissa McCarthy. Sure, there were plenty of snooze-worthy gowns, or dresses that were OFF in some way, but no real disasters.

  • alyce1213

    I don’t agree with your opinion of Salma Hayak’s dress.  I was so happy NOT to see the babyheads for a change.  Judging from your posts, she seems to have lost a bit of weight in the past few months and likes showing it in this properly fitted sheath.  I love that the neckline elongates her instead of her usual too-tight, too-low, bulging bodice, which always stumpifies her.  She looks great.

    I expected to see a backpack when Kelly Osbourne’ turned around, too many straps.

    I thought Kelly Rowland’s dress was a big nothing, it looks cockeyed on her.  And now I can’t unsee Jamie Foxx drool stains on it.

    Stacy Keibler looks divine.  There were a few stunning architectural dresses — it was almost a subset of dresses, but they were all gorgeous.

    • Little_Olive

      I actually hate Kelly Rowland’s look. The dress looks like it’s about to come undone, the hair dragtastic, the makeup is an afterthought. Surprised TLo liked it so much. 

    • Tatiana Luján

      What I hated about Hayek’s look was the insane amount of fake hair. 

      • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

        And the awful eye makeup.  I didn’t even recognize her at first!

  • StellaZafella

    Salma Hayek is starring in “The Evil of Audrey Hepburn”…

    - ‘She’s wearing diamonds…and she’s PISSED!!!’

    • http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

      THANK you! Could not think whom she was referencing.

  • MikeW_Vegas

    When Jane Fonda walked out on stage last night, my jaw hit the floor.   for a 70 something woman, the woman is SLAMMING!!!  Granted, she owes a lot to her favorite plastic surgeon, but she’s been looking a lot better lately.

    And maybe this was mentioned in a tweet (I haven’t figured out the whole “tweet” thing yet, did anybody mention Mary Louise picking at her wedgie when she was walking up to present the best Actor award?  I couldn’t believe what I saw there.   

    • altalinda

      She said that she was stepping on her dress, which I took to mean that the heel of her shoe got caught in the hem.

    • http://twitter.com/chylde chylde

       Shirley Bassey for 76 – slamming. Babs? Not so much.

    • Rand Ortega

       Re: JF: Since I’m planning to have most of my ass stapled to the back of my head if I live that long, I’m totally cool with enhancing what you’ve got. Not saying you aren’t, just… sayin’.
      (Quick anecdote: I worked on her workout videos back in the  early 90′s & walked in on her completely naked– @ 50 she made me look like shit @ 20)

  • Nancy Dunn

    Didn’t like keibler’s hair, and I looked up her wrestling pictures, and cannot unsee them now! She wore a g-string, and the wrestlers had their butts in each other’s faces, prancing around. Good Lord! I can’t believe George would date such a tacky woman! No matter how gorgeous she is! She does put on a good act of cleaning up, though.

    The older women put the young ones to shame! Love the color of Fonda’s dress, and Sally field’s too! Glorious! Too much nude, silver, pale, washed out. Why are these women afraid of color? Didn’t someone wear a gorgeous orange dress last year? If I were in their shoes, I would wear the brightest color I could get away with for my coloring! I would look like a bird amongst grey sadness.

    • http://twitter.com/doesmonaknow DoesMonaKnow

      Didn’t like keibler’s hair, and I looked up her wrestling pictures, and cannot unsee them now! She wore a g-string, and the wrestlers had their butts in each other’s faces, prancing around. Good Lord! I can’t believe George would date such a tacky woman! No matter how gorgeous she is!

      The Cloonster likes ‘em tacky. I’m not sure how people could have missed this up until now? Krista Allen made soft-core porn movies, Sarah Larson was a Fear Factor contestant and a Vegas cocktail waitress, and Elisabetta Canalis was a showgirl on Italian TV who danced around in her underwear on Italian TV. Not judging them, just pointing out that Georgie hasn’t exactly been finding his lady friends from Downton Abbey circles up until now.

      I’m not sure why people are so quick to think they’re all beards, though? I know there are rumors and an alleged name, but couldn’t he go a little “classier” in the beard department in the meantime? It’s not as if no “respectable” younger actress or famous woman over 35 would never agree to such a thing. Is it just easier to look at his recent lineup of girlfriends and think that a man who has otherwise cultivated an image of being smart and socially minded isn’t “really” dating his arm candy of the moment, than to go with the idea that “tacky” women genuinely get his motor running?

      • Nancy Dunn

        I didn’t know that about his old girlfriends. Well, that takes him down a peg, In my book. Any older man who dates much younger women who have made their livings scantily clad can’t be all that smart or classy. Keibler sounds like Lady Mary in comparison to,his old flings! or beards. Humph. George disappoints me. I know, no one cares. :)

    • MilaXX

      Edited to add: I didn’t think the H&M dress hunt wore was any worse than the blue  number Witherspoon wore. Or Hathaway’s

      Hathway and Witherspoon may not have had great dresses, but they weren’t so wrinkled that they looked as if they had been fished out from the bottom of the closet.

  • http://profiles.google.com/melantha.chimera Eileen Duffy

    I think Kelly Rowlands looks awful.  That dress is a mess!  It looks like someone didn’t have the top half ready and grabbed whatever fabric was lying around, dipped it in starch, and slapped it across her front.

    I do want Kelly Osbourne’s dress, though!

  • Chickadeep

    I think Dame Shirley is drinking from the same Fountain of Youthful Fabulousity as Dame Helen Mirren. Jaw-dropping.

    Keibler looked stunning, as did Queen L. Perfection.

    So many of these interchangeable, dishwater/dirty old bra-colored dresses; that trend cannot die fast enough for me. Look at the gorgeous color of Kerri W’s dress and then explain to me why the nude/drab/washed-out thing is still happening?

    For a minute there, I thought Jacki W. was Charlene Tilton! That’s not a good thing.

    Felt actual, physical pain and sympathy for Melissa McCarthy…isn’t there some kind of mobile emergency fashion gays service for this kind of situation?

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

       What a great show for Award season! I am sure some A list designers could donate some gowns, a few (no client) stylist, a large truck, some makeup tie-in, hair tie-in….a few b-listers show up early and have a ‘RC Save!’ (of course there would the shame of ‘your stylist let you out of the house wearing…what???”)

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2P2ANLRZ6YAVGONA36I2AQJYGI VicD

       I love Jackie Weaver, but she was seriously channeling Ursula the Sea Witch in that weird fishtail dress.

    • neeva

      Even worse: I thought Jacki W was Sally Struthers!

  • wildemoose

    Olivia Munn needs to yank her bodice up about four inches. I’d be terrified of that thing coming down if I were her.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      I swear the only thing holding that bodice up were the nips. 

  • Frank_821

    My hubby felt Zeta-Jones skirt was too embellished and looked like she had a sporran on her skirt. and no gal needs a sporran

  • http://www.facebook.com/melanie.martin47 misfit47

    I’m sorry Kristen Chenoweth looks like an Icecapade finale.

    • Girl_With_a_Pearl

      I really liked when teeny Kristen Chenoweth was interviewing Queen Latifah who towered over her.  I’d love to see them sing together.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Keibler and Washington were stunning.  I also think TLo managed to find the *only* picture in which either Tatum or Dewan-Tatum were not craddling her bump! 

  • Amenaneri

    I just noticed that Kelly Osborne and Kristen Chenowith are wearing almost the same Tony Ward dress–which bitch stole whose look??  And/or which stylist blew it?  

  • Eva_baby

    I thought Stacey Keibler came in a close second to Halle for my favorite look of the night.

    Zoe Saldana’s is great too.  IU love how different it is from all the rest.  Her dress has a personality and a quirkiness that I just love.  And a great color palette.

    K-Stew. Audra McDonald had the absolute best tweet about her “I have never met her but I feel like Kristen Stewart is mad at me.”  So fucking true.  Her face is sour apples all the time.

    Poor Melissa McCarthy.  Seriously she needs to corner Queen Latifah and Octavia Spenser in a bathroom and get styling tips.

    • http://twitter.com/chylde chylde

       I think Stacey Keibler and Halle’s dresses were art deco inspired and just awesome. Nicole and Naomi rocked the carpet with their glittery art deco numbers too.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

        Really interesting to realize that almost all of my favorites were deco-inspired. Chastain, Berry, Keibler, and a bit more of a stretch, but Kidman and Watts too. 

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    I really, really hate Kelly Rowland’s dress.  Not only did it have a folded napkin bodice and waaaay too high and open a slit, but …the dress was much too “focus-pulling”.   She was interviewing celebs on the red carpet….it was not about her! 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/MJTLNDL62LZYME3GSXWTHJM6LM M

      I totally agree!  The dress is so over-designed and complicated and almost trashy-looking. Not becoming at all.  And the hair!  The style is just bizarre.  I didn’t recognize her.  Are those “booms”?  They’re much worse than Jessica Biel’s.  

  • DarkWillow

    The seam down the front of Jane Fonda’s dress looks puckered, and it’s driving me batty.

  • BrooklynBomber

    I had the opposite reaction to Zoe Saldana: love the top, don’t like the bottom. But either way, they don’t go together. Kind of a frankendress, come to think of it.

    Fan Bing Bing’s face is exquisite. The dress, on the other hand, is Marchesa.And the winner is….Stacy Kiebler. If I’d only seen the picture (and not seen her standing/moving in it) I might not have thought so. But I watched part of the pre-show and thought she was knock’em dead stunning.

    • Little_Olive

      Thank you, I thought I was the only one at hating Zoe’s dress. And the painful thing is that she looked like she was soooo pleased with it. Smug, even. 

    • Tatiana Luján

      “Fan Bing Bing’s face is exquisite. The dress, on the other hand, is Marchesa.” Totally agree.

  • KayEmWhy

    I kneel before Shirley Bassey! I agree with the comparison to Dame Helen. Time to move to the UK, the waters fine over there!

    • Girl_With_a_Pearl

      Shirley Bassey was the highlight of the evening!  Get her to host next year.  ;)

    • MilaXX

      Dame Helen lives here in the States. Her hubby is American.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Queen Latifah: Gorgeous!

    HBC: dear, we know Westwood is your go-to-gal, and that’s your go-to hairstyle. And we love you. But, please, PLEASE change up the hair and the silhouette once in a while. PLEASE???!!!!???

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Too simple, Samantha Barks. You’re not well-known enough to play it this simple. I don’t care if Hathaway and Seyfried were going to come at you with clubs, you should’ve put more effort. 

    Stacy Keibler looks awesome. So are the ladies Fonda and Bassey. The rest are a yawn.

  • 4JJ

    Jane Fonda and Shirley Bassey pretty much wiped the red carpet with the younger stuff. Except for Queen Latifah, who looked like a goddess.

  • Stubenville

    Melissa McCarthy needs to hire Queen Latifah’s stylist. And if she kills her current stylist, a jury will easily believe that it was a mercy killing after seeing a photo of the battleship gray tent Melissa was forced to wear.

    • Pennymac

       A tent that had it’s own black tarp where a slit should be? Weird.

  • Stubenville

    Curious that Shirley Bassey had a different (gold) gown for the stage. But heck, she looked great in both of them.

    • kimmeister

      I thought the black gown was more successful, although the illusion netting on the gold gown wasn’t terrible as illusion netting is wont to be.

  • Stubenville

    TLo – I know you generally don’t do requests, but I hope you’ll have something on the gorgeous gown Shelly O. wore on TV from the White House.

    • MilaXX

      Hers was also Naeem Khan. Apparently he was having a good evening.

    • kimmeister

      Oh man, that sucker was amazing.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

       YES. FLOTUS’ was another of my favorites.

  • http://www.facebook.com/fiddlecub Kevin VanOrd

    Queen Latifah is gorgeous royalty and we must bow, for we are not worthy to be in her presence.

    Kristen Stewart: I am sick of your smug, ungrateful face. (/end irrational hate)

    • http://twitter.com/thehilariest The Hilariest

      Nothing irrational about that. Does the girl even own a comb?

  • Stubenville

    Helena Bonham Carter looks like she just rolled out of bed… after a late night.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       And I think her dress wants to be Zoe Saldana’s when it grows up. Similar concept, poorly executed.

  • Pennymac

    Salma looks like she’s being squeezed out of a velvet tube of glamour. That’s not intended as a compliment, actually.

  • jilly_d

    I actually love the gray on MM, but I can’t deal with the hair, and I get the feeling that if they had hoisted that bit of ruching currently residing around her hips up to her waist and then ditched the extra fabric, this would not have been such a disaster. I quite like the little sparkly bits. Better luck next time, girl.

  • MGMcD

    I think Stacy has lasted the longest of George’s (contractually obligated?) ladyfriends because she consistently turns it out on the red carpet. Her looks could easily have drifted into “tacky trophy wife” territory but she always chooses elegant gowns and styling and ends up looking like a million bucks. Her genetics and Clooney cachet certainly don’t hurt, but many Hollywood ladies have done less with more.

  • formerlyAnon

    I am sure you’ve got a shot of Channing Tatum in those Oscar party poses, yes? ‘Cause I’ve never been more than polite about him, but last night he outshone every man within 15 years of his age.

  • butterflysunita

    Bowing to the Queen.  Queen Latifah, that is.
    I love Kerry Washington’s dress.  Not only a color, but actually an interesting color.   

  • Yuval Dinoor

    I ADORED Queen Latifah’s look- my jaw literally dropped when Chenowitch interviewed her. Stunning!

  • GorgeousThings

    KStew looked like she had smoked a blunt in the limo, then realized she was going to be on camera, so she snorted a quarter gram of cocaine to wake up.

    When Samantha Barks walked out on stage and opened up her mouth, she SHOWED those Hollywood bitches how musical theater is done.

    Shirley Bassey and Jane Fonda – I can only aspire to their fabulosity when I get there.

    Stacy looked great. What the hell happened with George? That Santa beard has got to go.

    • formerlyAnon

      Re: Samantha Barks: You are correct.

  • oldbobbydraper

    JANE FONDA BEST DRESSED OF THE NIGHT! LUV HUH!

  • http://twitter.com/p_mayur P Mayuranathan

    Melissa McCarthy should not only burn her dress, she should do everything possible to erase the photographic evidence (HA!) and have the stylist who dared foist this dress on her torn apart by a pack of coyotes and mountain lions. 

  • formerlyAnon

    Queen Latifah, Jane Fonda, Samantha Barks and, slightly less enthusiastically Stacy Keibler were on my short list for best-of-night.

    If the rumor that Hathaway switched her dress last minute because of the Valentino’s resemblance to Seyfried’s is true – it makes sense but Anne screwed herself over by being nice.

    I give Kristen Stewart a pass, mostly, because of her recently broken foot – but since we know her hair is very intentional – I seem to remember reading that she has a hairdresser who travels with her on publicity jaunts – I have commenced wishing she changes her mind about what she wants it to look like. I thought her dress looked nice on her, this is not the venue in which I expect any better.

    I’d rather look like Helen Hunt than Reece Witherspoon, who looked uncomfortable in her dress which I thought was unflattering. I did not get Kerry Washington’s dress at all. Intensity varied with the angle, (and this photo is not one of the best) but it just looked wonky to me. And not flattering. Luckily she can look great even if her clothes work against her.

    If Melissa MacCarthy has not gained a substantial amount of weight since I last saw her, that is a criminally unflattering dress. Just because she’s not slim doesn’t mean she has to look rumpled and awkward.

    All in all, combining sentiment with appearance, I’d give the night’s best-of to Queen Latifah.

    • MilaXX

       RE: MM – It’s the dress. I saw her in a couple things doing press for her latest movie and she looked no where near this unflattering.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1677420035 Nicole Seligman

    LOVED amanda’s look (though i wish it were red or blue, obvs) and HATED zoe’s. i never thought i would hate anything zoe saldana wore, but she looks like she’s going to a middle school dance.

  • fringebenefit

    Stacey Keibler was the walk away BEST DRESSED–voted so unanimously by the members of this household. Exquisite above and beyond anyone else at the event. End of story. I’m not her biggest fan, but credit must be paid. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

    Favorites from this list are Kiebler, Latifah (duh), Fonda and Barks.  And as for Barks, I still say she should have been nominated.  I was far more attached to her E’ponine than I was to Hathaway’s Fantine, but in my mind she won a belated oscar for Rachel Getting Married, so as long as I stick to that delusion, I’m good.

    • l_c_ann

      Yes, re Barks.  She at least won out in the ensemble sing, when she was the only one of the women who dared to hold the note for a long, long time.

  • filmcricket

    HBC has worn that Westwood before, it must be one of her own rather than a loaner.

    Kiebler FTW, that dress is stunning. Hated Rowland’s dress, it looked ill-fitted and poorly wrangled on TV. And what was with all the strapless gowns & bare necks? Hathaway could have lent her superfluous necklace to half the women on the RC last night who showed up with low-riding bustlines & vast expanses of skin.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      HBC has been known to repeat dresses on the red carpet. She has some of her favorites, and just keeps going back to them. 

  • AuntieAnonny

    How much is DK paying you to praise her stuff? Honestly, I’m baffled as to how you could give her designs so many accolades, and the twitter ass kissing you did with her last night was ridiculous.

    I swear I love you two, but the DK boners are just too much.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

    What was with Kerry Washingtons hair?? it looked dirty, nasty and smelly and SHE looked like she would rather be anywhere BUT there (maybe in the limo eating a burger?)

    and to Melissa McCarthy- there are DOZENS of great wonderful designers out there who would KILL to make something beautiful for you…. this looked like a sheet tacked on (the thing at the bottom was nice, but too little too late).Is Amy Adams wearing ‘old soup grey’? ugh…and Worship Ms Bassey! WOW. just wow.

  • http://twitter.com/tangodiva Tanya Wade

    Dame Shirley is my new spirit animal. Madame threw down last night.

  • MissChicklet

    Kristen Stewart looked like warmed-over death. She has no charm or poise.

    Someone needs to give Melissa McCarthy the contact info for the stylists who did Octavia Spencer and Queen Latifah. Her dress and hair were both nightmares.

    Bassey, Kiebler, Chastain and Fonda were my favorites.

  • trisker

    You guys did GREAT today — thank you SO MUCH!

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

       I second that!

  • prettybigkitty

    Two things:
    1.  Helena Bonham Carter Handbasket
    2  No one is forcing K-Stew to be a movie star.  If she hates it so much she should quit.

  • kimmeister

    I love Seyfried’s dress, just wish it were in a different color for her.
    Weaver’s dress looks like it’s hooked to her armpits or something.
    Rowland’s dress was certainly eye-catching, but it made her look bigger than she is.
    I was pleased to see that Salma Hayek didn’t have her boobs flopping out, but I think that dress is designed for someone with a longer neck.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

       Jackie Weavers dress had potential, but the proportions were WAAAY off.

  • Eclectic Mayhem

    Thanks for all your hard work TLo!

  • teensmom99

    I thought that Melissa McCarthy’s make up was her best ever–almost Cosmo-cover-like.  Kristen Stewart always looks like she’s wearing her mother’s clothes to me. this time she looked like she wore her mother’s clothes and went joy riding and was caught. Fonda makes my jaw drop.  
    And what about Shelley.
    Last but not least, I always think of you and Daddy and Daddie.

  • Monabel

    Enjoy your well-earned rest after sacrificing yourselves for the weal of the kittens. 

  • Call me Bee

    I wondered why all of a sudden, the E! crew was at a table showig us still photos, when jsut minutes before they were on the RC live.  The only thing I can think of is that ABC had first rights to the live RC, and when they started, E! had to stop. 
    Just a thought. 

    Anyay–there weren’t too many cunkers on the RC last night the worst being poor Melissa McCarthy with Miss Helena BC a close second.  In this bunch, I gotta give it to the elders–Jane Fonda and Shirey Bassey. 
    BTW–I thought Kelli Rowland really embarrassed herself fawning all over Jmmie Foxx in front of his daughter.  Yikes. 

    • jonnyf8

      Why are you blaming Kelly.  Jamie was the one that was making a fool of himself.  Women always blame women!!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000393765005 Garcia Loca

         I agree. From what I saw, Jamie was the one making the overtures.

    • MilaXX

       yup ABC pulled rank and didn’t allow RC coverage from any other networks in the last hour so all E! could do is recap what they had already done.

  • BookishBren

    I love that Brad Goreski styled Stacey Keibler for this and clearly had such a HUGE win with it. 

  • capybara_cafe

    I have to say that as much as I wanted to punch  Kristin Chenoweth in the face by the second comment, I LOVE that dress. BUT, can someone please tell me what the hell is going on with that weird crease across the bust? I would say that it’s no-bra-sag, but she doesn’t appear to have enough that would weigh enough to make that kind of crease in a stiff bodice. Ideas?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000393765005 Garcia Loca

       Actually, K-Chen is quite the busty thing. I saw her Maxim editorial a few years back. She’s AT LEAST a DD.

      • capybara_cafe

         Is she really? Then this dress, beautiful as it is, is doing her no favors.

  • http://opinionandamovie.blogspot.com/ Deitra S.

    Jennifer Hudson’s dress was one of my favorites of the night – except for the shoes.  So gorgeous.

  • Kenisha Hill Phillips

    So… was that a plain black bobby pin in Kelly Osbourne’s hair? Why couldn’t she find a nice glittery barret or something?

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

       Her hair is LAVENDER. Don’t hurt your brain trying to make sense of any of the hair-related choices she’s made.

      • Kenisha Hill Phillips

        I know, but her lavender hair could have set off a lovely emerald barrette.

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Fan Bingbing’s dress was disappointing, considering what we all know she can do.
    HBC was disappointing too.
    Jane Fonda – DAYUM.
    Jennifer Judson – gorgeous; one of my top 10.
    Kerry Washinton was another favorite. Also in my top 10.
    KStew – WTF, girl? Unflattering dress, and greasy, unbrushed hair, with about 6 inches of roots showing. She might as well have not even bothered coming.
    Cheno – THAT’S how a petite woman does a ballgown without having it swallow her alive.
    Melissa McCarthy – a TRAVESTY from head to toe. I have no words…
    Queen Latifah – simple, but elegant and beautiful.
    Samantha Banks – HOT.
    Sandra Bullock – one of my favorite ladystars, and the dress is beautiful, but pretty standard for her at this point.
    Shirley Bassey – DAYUM, again.
    Stacey Keibler – Another one of my favorites. Gorgeous.

    The rest? “S’ok,” “Meh,” or “Yawn.”

  • jonnyf8

    Stacey was one of my top 3 for the night.  Stacey, Charlize, Naomi.  She is one classy wrestler that Stacey!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    Stacey Keibler FTW-I thought she was in the top 3.  I also thought Helen Hunt looked great in the blue and I would cut a bitch for that necklace she’s wearing.  Now you must pardon me so I can go eat it as instructed by Ms. Fonda. 

  • http://twitter.com/BrerAndy Andy Morris

    Catherine ZJ is so very Zena Chaperones Prom.

  • Susan Crawford

    Melissa McCarthy, please make the Queen your BFF and start believing that you, too, can rock a fitted frock. Latifah looked absolutely fantastic.

    Shirley Bassey? O.M.F.G. – stunning! And still with that voice that sends chills down my spine. I grovel at her feet.

    Kerry Washington? Exquisite. Totally gorgeous color for her, and she epitomizes what great posture can do.

    And Jane Fonda in screaming yellow? Honey, you are ah-mazing at any age.

  • MK03

    ‘Ponine is killing it.

  • adnama79

    ALL HAIL QUEEN LATIFAH.

  • Pterodactyl111

    I don’t understand why all plus-sizes lady stars don’t take their cues from Queen Latifah. She is the QUEEN! 

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    did ven get hold of melissa mccarthy?

  • Pterodactyl111

    Man, did Shirley Bassey kill that performance or what? Seventy-six years old!! 

  • http://www.facebook.com/henry.maler Henry Maler

    I kind of want George and Stacy to keep dating just so she can continue turning it out at the Oscars.

  • SapphoPoet

    Oh, Helena–what happened? And poor Melissa–she could look so much better. She needs to go have a conversation with Octavia Spencer. 

    There were some wonderful dresses, though. 

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Thank you guys! This is like Christmas Day for us to read all your Oscar posts – Love. Them. All!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1497137583 Charlene Hanaway Bartlinski

     ah kittens – you’ve lost your edge and claws on so many levels and forums -  Allo?Helllllo? Seems you both lost the passion and are just phoning it in.

  • http://onionjam.tumblr.com SkipperJane

    Anyone else notice from the E! coverage that Samantha Barks walked around for at least 10 minutes on the RC with her hands at her waist and her elbows stuck out straight behind her (as she is doing in this picture)? Was she scared of nipple slippage if she stopped arching her chest towards the cameras?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14301272 Kate Gorton

    Melissa, that HAIR. She needs to work with Tadashi Shoji. He clearly knows how to flatter a full figure.

  • TRSTL

    Queen Latifah was a WERQ!  Amazing!! And I almost wept for Melissa McCarthy…… I love her, have been a fan snce her 7 stellar seasons on “The Gilmore Girls”.  As happy as I am for her widened fame and success, I am just appalled at the bad advice she is getting on her styling.  David Meister should be ashamed….. and possibly sued.

  • MilaXX

      Amanda Seyfried – Pretty dress, but she looks much better in saturated colors.
     Amy Adams  – Looked like a giant dust bunny
    Catherine Zeta-Jones – I get it, but the earrings were a bridge too far. Also nothing shows your relevance like doing a number from a movie you starred in 10 years ago.
    Fan Bingbing – Pretty color, but it’s swallowing her.
    Helena Bonham Carter – I dunno, it’s a step too messy even for her. I do kinda wish someone had taken a pic of her and Zoe Saldana together.
    Helen Hunt – It was sad how smugly proud she was to announce this hot mess was from H & M.
    Jacki Weaver – I swear someone told her this defined her waist. They were wrong.
    Jane Fonda – Jane is serving it.
    Jenna Dewan-Tatum – Best red carpet maternity fashion I have seen in a long time.Jennifer Hudson – Hate the shoe, love the look. Again I have to ask why sing a song that was a hit at least 5 years ago? This is the sort of fat that could have been trimmed to make this show end at a decent hour.
    Kelly Osbourne – Looked lovely on pictures, bit on camera it was awful. Shame ABC pulled rank and didn’t all any RC coverage from other networks in the last hour. It meant the already challenged E! team had to struggle for content that last hour.
    Kelly Rowland 0 She looked great, but that was a pretty out there slit.Kerry Washington – Very pretty.
    Kristen Stewart – This child is just a mess. She should have a) Used the crutches she need., b)Worn a dress better suited to walking with crutches, and c) Combed that damn hair.
    Kristin Chenoweth – It’s not a glittery towel. She looks cute.
    Melissa McCarthy – I love her and it makes me sad to see her looking like this. I get that she prefers to cover her arms, but she needed to open the chest up a bit and lower the slit tp below the knee and then show a little leg. Also fire whoever di that to her hair. BTW she did press for her movie and wore these gray leather pants and a glitter top and I go hopeful that she had a new stylist because she looked great.
    Olivia Munn – It’s a step in the right direction. The dress is a little wrinkled, but a vast improvement over her usual RC looks.
    Queen Latifah – Gorgeous.
    Reese Witherspoon – I know this was an expensive dress, but it read David’s Bridal to me.
    Salma Hayek – Horrible
    Samantha Barks – I loved this. Yes it’s low cut, but it works on her.
    Sandra Bullock – Phoned it on and the placedment of the barrette in her hair looked like a Star Trek listening device.
    Shirley Bassey – Pa -Dow!
    Stacey Keibler – It was a good night for Naeem Khan. She looks great!
    Zoe Saldana0 This felt like two dress. I either wanted the detail at the top or at the bottom. Didn’t like them both fighting for attention on the same dress.

  • http://profiles.google.com/gillianholroyd gillian holroyd

    I couldn’t watch it but I did catch all the looks on another website. It was posting on the fly so no names or captions and the funniest thing: I did not know that was Reese Witherspoon. Could not work out who she was supposed to be. Am I the only one who found her unrecognisable?

  • nannypoo

    Kristen Stewart looks stoned and filthy as usual. Such an unpleasant woman.

    • mhleta

      This may sound strange, but there’s a way to show up stoned and filthy and still look cool. (See Chloe Sevigny.) This just looked phoned in and miserable. 

  • Lynn Landry

    Sometimes, I really love it when TLo are tired cuz you are just spewing the truth. Speaking in tongues. Moved by the fashion holy spirit. Amen.

  • DesertDweller79

    Thought Queen Latifah looked beautiful.  Loved Jane Fonda’s look.  I so wish I could wear that yellow color.  Alas. 

    Really disappointed in HBC.  It looks, shockingly, a bit dull.  Also a little saddened by Fan Bingbing.  That look does not do anything for me.  Although, that is a beautiful color on her.

    Quite liked Kristin Chenoweth’s fun dress.  Didn’t much like her hair.  But, her dress definitely held up better than Kelly Osborne’s.  

  • bd73

    seyfried looks lovely but the color does nothing and this was keenly emphasized when she appeared on stage in bright red. that’s what she should have hit the carpet in.

    sandra bullock looked beautiful, but she should have pulled the hair up and back on both sides and had it cascade straight down from the back in soft waves. just because her features are straight doesn’t mean her hair has to be.

    olivia munn looked amazing. i love that gown on the runway and i love it on her. best ever.

    kerry washington – loved it more on stage. the way the fabric shimmered as she moved was mesmerizing. someone in the audience said, “she’s gorgeous.” preach.

    jacki weaver – looks great. she’s got color, fit and style nailed. how could she look better?

    zoe saldana – amazing. love her gown and her hair. somehow her makup always looks nude. i can never discern a color. but she is on my “i wish i was her” list this week.

    kristen stewart – clearly lost the battle to bow out of the appearance altogether and had to put something on at the last minute. couldn’t someone have done her hair in the car, though?

    helen hunt – she and jodie foster are masters at pulling that silver/blue sparkle to bring out their eyes. except for the pressing, she looks fanastic.

    charlize theron – nice but not that special. a pretty simple hair and dress. recall her dior couture gown from 2012 golden globes? complicated to display and tiara and makeup… this white sheath is overrated.

    salma hayek – i’m not sure how i feel about this collar on her, but i find it disheartening that she is repeatedly reduced to cleavage. she has spent years building a real cv and yet all people want is to see her body. sofia vergara is also currently in that trap. i do appreciate that this gown leaves things to the imagination (or not, if you don’t care to imagine). it’s princess instead of sexpot. brava.

    overall, it felt like not that man people showed up to this one. i know, invitations, but it just didn’t feel like anyone was there. emma stone anyone? penelope cruz? marion cotillard?

  • Qitkat

    Stacey, Halle, Jessica, Jane.  Stopped me in my tracks. Kudos to the designers for such precise, architectural, beautiful  dressmaking. Each one Killing It. There were others who looked great, but I am madly in love with those four. 

    Sad and eye-rolling: Melissa McCarthy, Helena Bonham Carter, Kelly Rowland. Expensive schmattas.  Melissa is so pretty, and is getting such poor advice, and offered such slapdash designs. Imagine if Catherine Malandrino re-worked that deep forest green gown on the recent Julie Bowen post (Feb 19) for Melissa. Could be gorgeous. Helena obviously doesn’t give a crap anymore, and that’s OK, but why even bother to show up? At least Kelly looked like someone tried, but that is one stupid frankendress. Sputter!! Blergh!!

  • RzYoung

    Well done, daddies, love the coverage! Sleep tight x

  • Mistie Holler

    I really feel that Olivia Munn deserves more credit than anyone’s giving her. There were some truly phenomenal looks this year (Stacey Keibler – WOW!) so maybe that’s why she hasn’t been celebrated a bit more. She wore a beautiful vibrant colour in the midst of so much washed-out old dishrag greys. Her makeup and hair look great, too. I think it was quite a bold choice.

  • Damien W

    First reaction when I saw Kelly Osborne: “Look! It’s the Nimbus 2001! It’s that fastest broom yet!”

  • decormaven

    Didn’t Amanda S. wear a gown of a similar hue during the initial rollout of Les Miserables, and it was agreed it was too light a shade for her? Oh well, I guess we’re just preaching to the choir around here. Kudos to Queen Latifah- that’s how to show a full figure to best advantage. And thanks to TLo- this was a hectic awards season, but you covered it well!

  • KittieLynnNYC

    With a name as awesome as FAN BING BING, sorry, but you are allowed to do and wear whatever you want.

  • SewingSiren

    Melissa McCarthy is wearing the ugliest dress I’ve ever seen. It’s a jersey bed sheet. With a hole cut in it. And a few safety pins holding the tucks. 

    • mhleta

      I agree. This is a dress for someone who hates herself, not for an ebullient lover of life like Melissa McCarthy. Someone needs to be fined for this crime. 

  • Tatiana Luján

    In october 2012, Tlo said Helena Bonham Carter looked “Gorgeous. Simple, but with just a hint of the goth-princess vibe to it, which suits her to a T, of course” in that same dress.
    What a difference good ironing can do to a garment.

    • alyce1213

      I had to look back.  I remember it now.  It’s just astounding how different this dress looked, all pressed and fluffy.  Looks like she wore a crinoline in October and the fullness is beautiful.  Here it looks like a sad rag. 

  • MoHub

    Shirley Bassey! That is all that needs to be said.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001998855370 Fatima Siddique

    Jane Fonda really stood out. She got a WERQ from me. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

    T & Lo deserve an Oscar for their memorable work. Thanks guys!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

    “Miss Fonda kindly requests that you eat it, bitches.”  Love it!!

  • http://twitter.com/lisledanielle Danielle Lisle

    Pairing DanRad with Kristen Stewart nearly made me have a brain anyeurism. Anyone who hobbles out on stage at the OSCARS looking like they just woke up from a three day bender and mumbles “I wasn’t prepared for this” deserves to be booed off.

  • http://profiles.google.com/grubhooligan J. Owen Dickson

    I was waiting for you guys to talk about Samantha Barks.  I thought her dress was PAINFULLY ordinary on the red carpet…  But she wore a different dress during the Les Mis performance, and I thought that dress was one of the very best of the night.  Up there with Charlize, Stacy, and Halle.

  • Judy_J

    KStew was an embarassment to herself and the academy. Jane Fonda looked fabulous.  I know she’s had work done, but it’s been done in such a way that you don’t notice it, and that’s the mark of a good surgeon.  Shirley Bassey was another one who has stood the test of time….awesome!  Melissa McCarthy looked like she was draped in an old bedsheet.  Horrible dress, horrible color.  Stacey Keibler’s gown was one of the best of the bunch last night.  She was stunning.  It was truly a mixed bag, but most of it was pretty and appropriate for the occasion.

    • mhleta

      Jane Fonda and Susan Sarandon definitely are the poster children for Facial Procedures Done Right. 

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

         What about La Streisand?

      • Adriana_Paula

        Michelle Pfeiffer?

  • christinewithanx

    Bravo, guys. Thanks to you, I never have to watch the Oscars again!

  • ojosazules

    The Marchesa dresses that looked so fabulous on the runway didn’t translate so well on the red carpet. Too bad.
    Mrs. Douglas is scaring me.
    Salma looks great, even with the boobs staying in for the evening.

  • EditKitten

    Apologies if this was said in the comments somewhere and I missed it, but Olivia Munn’s dress had the WORST proportions. It made her look three feet tall.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    I still want a Fan Bing Bing doll for my birthday.

  • suzq

    Sorry if someone mentioned this before, but Brad Gorski dressed both Jenna Dewan-Tatum and Stacy Keibler!  Yay Brad!  And no last-minute, nipple baring wardrobe changes!

    • mhleta

      Exorbitant props to BG especially for Stacy Keibler. The right dress for the right woman. Smashing. 

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

         Jenna D-T made it clear what a lucky man Channing is, which is what mattered I think. He was one that was clearly so happy just to be at the party!

  • Anathema_Device

    I think the bow and the belt were overkill on Saldana’s dress. Hate the shoes with it. Hate.

    That black band at the top of Witherspoon’s dress is giving her squished boob.

  • leave_Blake_alone

    I think Stacy, Zoe, Kerry and Nicole Kidman were my three favorites of the night. I just don’t love Stacy’s hair or the bow on Zoe’s hip, but otherwise they’re pretty much flawless. Kerry might be the winner, though, for having COLOR in her dress!

  • http://www.facebook.com/bridgetlehane Bridget Lehane

    Isn’t Amy Adams wearing Carrie Bradshaw’s “Left Alone In Paris” dress from 10 years ago?

  • http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

    The dress Reese wore made me think of Miss Kitty on “Gunsmoke.”

    • mhleta

      Yeah, I didn’t like it. Too many horizontal lines. It made her look wide.

  • stubbornthoughts

    What the FUCK Kristen Stewart?! Even Joaquin Phoenix got dolled up for the Oscars! Run a brush through your drug hair, PLEASE.

    The Renta dress Olivia Munn wore was the exact one I wanted to see Anne in. Super upsetting. Life is hard.

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

       K-Stew’s obvious awkwardness at public speaking is so far from cute anymore: it’s part of your job, young lady, way past time to grin and bear it!

  • shanteUstay

    I am so very tired of the twilight girl looking like she just rolled out of bed with that hair. You have somehow finagled a way into the OSCARS!….do your hair appropriately

  • Allyson Wells

    Samantha Barks didn’t actually wear that on stage, though, did she? I think they all changed before the performance. 

    • mhleta

      Why is she standing like that? Are those pockets she’s awkwardly trying to stuff her hands into? Bad placement. 

  • mhleta

    TLo, I have enjoyed this post Oscar dish fest more than I can say. It was like being on a three day bender with a bunch of really enjoyable strangers. TLo, I hope you’re being handsomely compensated for bringing this service to us, but if ever you question your life’s work, do not under estimate the amazing thing you’ve done in creating this crazy and fun community. Thank you!

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    I was over all the Zeta-Jones-ing by about the third Chicago tribute; Kelly was so funny when she shut Jamie down real quick; and you’re right, Kristen C. went 100% Kristen C.-on-Broadway, and why not?

  • TRSTL

    I just watched Sunday episode of The Walking Dead and it hit me, Amy Adams was wearing formal wear from the Walking Dead collection for H&M…… gray, dusty, torn.

  • warnerave

    a rare misstep from Fan Bing Bing…Keibler killed it!

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Oops.

  • Tuneful54

    I love her hair! Straight out of Downton Abbey.
    But to me it doesn’t go with the dress–which I only kinda like, perhaps because I could never wear something like that I don’t go in much for metallics. 
    Not a good night for Clooney, he needs to wash the hair and lose the beard, and the passive-aggressive games he plays with his GFs seem disrespectful and are a turnoff.

  • BaddestMotherEver

    I didn’t know much about fashion until I started reading T&L.  I was so proud of myself when Octavia Spencer walked out and my first thought was “Tadashi Shoji does well by her.”

  • http://twitter.com/aStudiobytheSea a Studio by the Sea

    The Keibler Amazon strikes again.  Someone needs to put that gal in a nice sword and sorcery flick, let her sneer down at poor mortal men. 

    • bd73

      “she-ra” is begging to be made…or “wonder woman.” finally.

  • mmc2315

    Boys!  I’m so surprised you praised Kelly Rowland’s dress.  It’s very meh.

    Stacey Keibler in Naeem Khan for the win.

  • http://www.serpentsdance.etsy.com/ SerpentsDance

    I love that color on Fan Bingbing. It’s seriously beautiful. Not crazy about the volume and shape of the dress, but the color against her skin is stunning.

  • Kate4queen

    Stacey Keibler looks amazing.

  • LadyElaine

    What about Samantha Barks’ on stage dress during the performance? That dress struck me as a welcome departure from the frilly and/or tacky dresses seen on other stars. Does anyone know who the designer was? 

  • TRSTL

    Upon review, the lower half of Catherine Zeta Jones’ dress looks like bad curtain panels from Pier One or World Market.

  • shelley514

    Fan Bing Bing looks like oragami, which is good!  I love the color and she’s always gorge.  Damn right bow down to Shirly Bassey; she looked magnificent on the red carpet and on stage and belted out GoldFinger as strong as she sang it 30+ years ago.  Bravo! 

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Really sad about Melissa’s dress.

  • poggi

    Queen Latifah looked great and I love when she had to step in and read the winner when Renee Z. couldn’t focus or wouldn’t wear reading glasses or whatever.

  • guest2visits

    Amanda- pale, but very pretty. Beautiful styling. Same with Amy.
    Catherine- beautiful fabric that looked so heavy. Abit harsh.
    Fan- again beautiful but heavy fabric; this time it worked, gorgeous.
    Helena- up close this was a pretty cool little frock. Not for the Oscars though. The whole look was too bedraggled.
    Helen-a pretty dress that was right for her; but it was messy too. The back didn’t fit well either.
    Jacki- thought she looked great, in spite of the mermaid tail.
    Jane- not my favorite dress but she made it look awesome, just beautiful.
    Jenna- such a busy material but it was very pretty on her. Jennifer- loved this dress for her, but the shoes were way off.
    Kelly O- I liked the dress except the gap-waist, and I didn’t like the lip color with the hair, at all. Kelly R- I just hated this dress;
    one of the worst, for me. Kerry- loved the delicate bodice and color up close; the clutch and the shoes were the wrong choice.
    Kristen- seriously one of the prettiest gowns of the night but was ruined by the wearer. This moved so incredibly; but it seemed
    to have slid too low on Kristen, or she just didn’t care to fit it properly, and the hair was a wreck; totally un-matched for the dress. Kristin- agree busy, but very pretty. Melissa- I thought she was pretty but the dress only half worked; I like the sleeves
    and the neck, but the rest was bad draping. Olivia- maybe my favorite gown of the night; and definitely the best I’ve EVER seen
    for her.  Latifah-plain, but pretty. Reese- undecided. not a favorite anyway.
    Salma- an elegant look that was ruined by the heavy neck embellishment. Samantha- not as Oscar worthy to me.
    Sandra- dark and beautiful, especially up-close. But it felt sooo dark. Witchy. Shirley- beautiful!
    Stacey- I didn’t like this, maybe because of the belt.. it just didn’t hit a cord for me, yet everyone liked it.
    Zoe- I liked the top; and disliked the bottom half intensely.

  • pulpytomato

    Queen Latifah and Shirley Bassey look fabulous! I also like the color of Kerry Washington’s gown. Not much to say about the rest…

  • fursa_saida

    I appear to be alone in this, but I think Selma Hayek looks great. She’s allowed to put the boobs away every once in a while, and they don’t look particularly squished or anything to me.

  • libraangel

    OMG! I had to write everyone’s names down and take notes to comment on so many – too many dresses! Amanda – so pale I can’t see her; Amy – ostrich died; Catherine actually o.k.; Ditto with Fay; Helena B>C> up to her old tricks; Helen H. needs an iron, that’s all;Why did Jackie wrap a ho’s curtain around herself? ; Kristen S. I can’t even discuss – o.k. is she stoned or drunk or both?! ;Kristin C, – what is that funny white moss growing on her bodice? ; Salma – something is just wrong with her entire body: it looks too small for her head; Reese – hate the attempt at color-blocking; Melissa – why gray?! Learn from Queen L. who looked absolutely stunning; Olivia – another one who tied a curtain around her; Samantha – I actually like the simplicity; Jane needs other shoes (gold?); Jenna – o.k., but why do pregnant actresses always want to show off their fuller boobs?; Jennifer perfect; Kelley O. – EECK-ugly, and why is she on ‘Fashion Police’? They should arrest her! And her colleague, Guiliana looked beautiful, but I wanted to run in the T.V. so badly and put a necklace on her!; Kerry fine; Stacey perfect; Shirley – good dress, but your face would look that good too with so much plastic surgery!; Zoe – NOOOO! No belt please! plus two colors at the hem! WHEW! All done?! More importantly, why did I just type all of the above?!

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Shirley Bassey-simply fabulous at any age. Bowing.Down.