We stared at these pictures for quite a while, our brains scrambling desperately to make sense of what we were seeing. After a time, we found ourselves voicing the same conclusion; the only conclusion one could make, really.
Jennifer Lopez attends the Topshop Topman LA Opening Party in Los Angeles in a Preen dress paired with Brian Atwood sandals.
Brian Atwood Colorblock Leopard-Print T-Strap Sandal
This bitch has LOST IT. We think we speak for all humanity when we say, “…the FUCK?”
Where is our supervillainess? Our Diva Magnifica? Our Drag Superstar? WHAT IS THIS MESS?
J Lo, we hate to do this to you, because what we are about to say will induce in you paroxysms of rage and accompanying mascara-streaked, vase-smashing, assistant-firing meltdowns, which will then give way to a bone-crushing despair that will open up the possibility of adopting the lifeplan of never getting out of bed again. Brace yourself.
You look like an eccentric 70-year old with too much money.
Everybody! RUN! She’s gonna blow!
[Photo Credit: Getty, neimanmarcus.com]