amfAR 2013 Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on February 07, 2013

Darlings, a whole bunch of celebs got dolled up for a really good cause. Let’s judge them anyway!



Ashley Greene in Giambattista Valli

 Pretty. Love the belt.



Chloe Sevigny in Proenza Schouler

 Batshit crazy. No time for an alternate personality assessment, but we’re willing to go out on a limb and say that, whoever she is right now, we’re pretty sure she’s a slutty secretary in an ’80s law firm.


Chrissy Teigen

 Not earth-shattering, but pretty enough.



Emilia Clarke in Zac by Zac Posen

 Do not like the gigantic hip bow at all, but those colors look amazing on her.


Jenna Elfman

 Girl, that’s not your color or your shape. It’s an interesting dress, but it sort of hangs off her lower half and the color washes her out a little. A contrasting belt and a bangle would’ve gone a long way.


Katharine MacPhee

 It looks a little bit like something a nurse would wear during WWI, but we think she’s pulling it off. She looks great.



Lindsay Lohan in Theia

 Sixty-seven years YOUNG, ladies and gentlemen.



Patricia Clarkson

 Great color and great accessorizing, but it’s sitting a bit low on her.



Sandra Lee

 She is a special, sparkly goddess. Is this tacky? Perhaps, but we can never really get mad at the woman who introduced the concept of the tablescape to the world.



Sarah Jessica Parker in Maison Martin Margiela Couture

 Father Sarah will be saying Mass following the party.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • Eva_baby

      Ok, SJP looks like she ran through someone’s clothesline, got tangled in their stuff,  and just kept going until she ended up at the red carpet.

      • Sobaika

        It’s too bad because I think she would look quite good (okay, at least better) without the black and white… thing.

        • Whollyholeyholy

          Like she just got caught in a satin sheet?

          • SassieCassy

            yeah like that is her aesthetic

      • Rand Ortega

         & drank a bottle of tequila before, during & after doing it.

        • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

          TIL i am SJP’s fashion and lifestyle muse.

      • megohd

        It looks a little like a snake.

    • Sobaika

      Khaleesi looks super different off-set.

      • Rhonda Shore

        I’ll say!  I didn’t even recognize her until i saw your comment.  She might be one of those people meant to be a blonde!!!

        • SassieCassy

          naww i like her as a brunette. she does look different in other ways though. she looks a lot slimmer and less muscular. less like Middle Earth Xena

          • Dorothy & Michael n/a

             I read somewhere that she wears wigs for the show. 

            • Sobaika

              She does. Her wigs and Lena Headey’s are supposedly the most expensive props on set.

            • Jecca2244

               Those are some amazing wigs.

        • heartbot

          Same here!

      • Stella Zawistowski

        Whoa, THAT’S who that is?

    • PastryGoddess

      What happened to Jenna Elfmans feet?

      Patricia Clarkson should wear that color All.The.Time

      SJP = WTF

      • Girl_With_a_Pearl

        Agreed, especially about Patricia Clarkson.  I think she looks fabulous and the best dressed of the lot, although there isn’t much competition.

    • valerie saenz

      Lindsay …. Bless her heart.

      • emily

        Why is Lindsay even there? She’s hardly relevant other than for TMZ fodder. And Lord does she look OLD!

        • Melanie

          Isn’t AmFAR Liz Taylor’s charity?  Maybe that’s the (awfully tenuous) connection?

          • littlemac8

            OMG – that’s just hysterical!  Poor Liz has already done somersaults in her grave!

      • WhiteOprah

        Seriously.  It takes talent to make such an expensive dress look so cheap.  And those gross shoes!  I just can’t.  

      • VicD

         I am pretty sure that picture of Lindsey appears next to the definition of “hot mess” in the dictionary.

    • michael tanner

      Long live Chloe and the 1001 personalities

      • Coco Cornejo

        Am I the only one who is getting a Robert Downey Jr in drag vibe off of her?

        • YoungSally

          Maybe she IS Robert Downey Jr in drag…..or rather one of her personalities is.

      • VicD

         In which 999 of the personalities are some version of “slutty secretary” or “gender confused teen”

    • mjude

      tlo said “Sixty-seven years YOUNG, ladies and gentlemen.”  LMFAO!

    • Frank_821

      My god! all I can think is poor Lindsay Lohan. she does look 67-after plastic surgery. 

    • joancarol

      Lindsey looks like she has fleas.

      • Lilak

        :D  !!!!!

    • erinbinek

      Chloe looks fine…from the neck down.  And as far as Lindsay goes, I just can’t figure out why she keeps getting invited to these events.  She looks like she needs a good rest and a lot of water.

    • Janet B

      Poor Chloe, she looks like she can’t stand up and is leaning against the backdrop.

    • MoHub

      SJP can go straight to bed in that.

    • queencee

      Hm. Pat Clarkson looks younger and fresher than the Lohan.

      • Stacy Parker Cole

         I thought the same thing when I scrolled down!!

    • Annabelle Archer

      I am at a loss for words.  Is it me or does everyone look pretty much…terrible?  I could go on a snark rant about vagina dresses, wackadoodle hair, and velvet dresses held up by ELASTIC for gods sake, but I will refrain.  Even Chloe has let me down because she doesn’t look nearly crazy *enough*.  

      • Heather

         Other than Pat Clarkson, I totally agree with you. What is this sad charity? I could pull a dress and heels OUT OF MY OWN, CURRENT CLOSET, do my own hair and makeup, and look better than most of these women. Except Pat Clarkson.

        • Annabelle Archer

          Fair enough, la Clarkson is not terrible, but she could use a good hoisting.  That’s a lovely color but the dress itself is not doing her bust line any favors.  

    • skitzfiggitous

      I’m afraid that even with a kickass belt and bangle, Elfman’s hair keeps that dress rooted in Twee-est Tea Party territory.

      Does Lohan get all of her red carpet looks from the AVN Awards second hand shop? I shudder to think of how much dry cleaning those need when she gets them. Or finishes wearing them.

    • kimmeister

      Jenna, that’s not your hair either.  Well, at least not for a few decades, at which point you’ll be the cutest grandma in town.

      • RL McGruder

        I’ve noticed lately that Jenna seems to be getting styled (and *maybe* botoxed?) into a Stepford mold, perhaps because of her new sitcom. Her pose is definitely stiff and uncomfortable, so that doesn’t help. Whatever is happening, it’s NOT flattering.

    • pahtyplatta

      “…we’re pretty sure she’s a slutty secretary in an ’80s law firm”

      So basically her character from American Psycho.  Is it just me or do Ashley Greene’s boobs look cross-eyed?

      • filmcricket

        Yes. She looks like a super-hero whose name is Boobs Akimbo. It also looks like that dress is cutting her head off from the rest of her body, and there appears to be a stain on the skirt. Her face looks amazing though.

        • Ginny Ellsworth

          I think that might be my new stripper name. BOOBS AKIMBO! I like it!

        • editrixie

          Oh! Someone else saw the stain! I thought maybe it was my monitor, but it looks like one major spot, and then a subtler one or two underneath that.

          Boobs Akimbo. I’m dying.

    • Lilithcat

      Lindsay Lohan is half Patricia Clarkson’s age, and looks older.  That is just sad.

      And, frankly, Clarkson is the only one here whose dress looks halfway decent.

    • lamireille

      At first I didn’t see the name over Lindsay Lohan’s picture, so when you wrote “sixty-seven years young” I thought “Wow! Who is that–she looks amazing!”

      Now I’m just sad. Why doesn’t someone intervene?

      • MilaXX

         who? Are parents are crazy and her friends enable.

        • Ginny Ellsworth

          Well, the bitter kittens could kidnap her, bathe her, feed her and help her get clean…but I don’t think that would go over well. And that’s too bad.

    • golden_valley

      Sandra Lee’s gown looked like something designed for Dolly Parton. 

      • MoHub

         Except that Dolly recognizes tackiness and takes pride in it. She herself has said, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”

        Sandra Lee, on the other hand, really is tacky.

        • RebeccaKW

           I actually love the dress (I’m a Dolly at heart), but agree-I wish she’d gone all the way.  Big rings on every finger, sparkly bangles.  Bright red nails and lips.  Own it.

          • MoHub

             The problem with Sandra Lee is that she doesn’t know she’s tacky; she just is.

    • kolokOlchik

      Wow, Lindsay looks HIGH!

      • mhleta

        Ya think?!

    • MilaXX

      Ashley looks pretty, but are those water stains on her dress?
      That bow nearly ruins Emilia’s look.
      Jenna’s look makes her look  60.
      McPhee looks like she’s doing a stage production of Florence Nightingale.
      Lilo is just a bloated mess. How does she manage to look better going to court than on the RC?
      I still haven’t forgiven Sandra Lee for that awful Kwanza cake.
      SJP looks like she was smoking peyote in the dessert with Jim Morrison.

      Why are so many lady stars trying to make white happen on the RC? So few of them actually succeed.

      • Annabelle Archer

        And now I must google “Sandra Lee Kwanza cake” because while I have no idea what the story is, I assume it is hilarious.

        • Stella Zawistowski

          Look at me, I’m Sandra Lee
          Lousy at things cu-lin-‘ry
          Really can’t bake so I make Kwanzaa cake
          It’s fake! I’m Sandra Lee!

          • Christiane Truelove

            Thank you. Now I can’t get that out of my head.

        • MilaXX

          I’m sure it’s on youtube. Then after that google the story of the cookbook writer who created it for her. That’s hilarious.

        • MoHub

           You also need to see her Chanukah cake. And the King Cake she made from refrigerated biscuit dough.

          • Billie_Dawn

             The best thing about the Chanukah cake was that it wasn’t even kosher. Now, I know that not all Jewish people keep kosher, but really, wouldn’t you want to at least take that into consideration?

            • MoHub

               At least she didn’t try to flog it for Passover.

      • In_Stitches

         “now just fill the middle with cold apple pie filling and decorate with corn nuts!” 

    • Ashleigh Boutelle

      I think Sandra Lee looks incredible…and I love how you called her a special sparkly goddess!! 

    • Laura Reinert

      Oh dear Lord, I thought SJP was Mary Kate Olsen in the first half second I saw the picture…

    • In_Stitches

      Clarke and Clarkson clock in at #2 and #1 respectively for me in their very vibrant, flattering colored gowns.  Rounding out the top 3 is…Chloe Sevigny?!  It’s a great print with interesting design details.  The slit is too much, I hate the booties (but then again, I hate all booties (even the ridiculous, childish name)) and her hair is pretty terrible, but at least she’s making a statement and it isn’t slutty.  

    • BrooklynBomber

      I like what SJP is wearing, except for the thingies hanging in the front. I know, I’m the only one.

      • Sobaika

        Nope, I’m with you. I just can’t tell what that thing is. It looks like it’s hanging from the back too?

        • BrooklynBomber

          Oh, good. Yeah, I don’t know what those things are. They look like part of a halter, but it also looks as though there are shoulder straps. Very confusing. But I do like the dress itself, and the idea of it.

        • MilaXX

           it’s hanging from the back and looped around her wrist

          • Sobaika

            Wait, what. So there are three parts? The part on floor by her right hand, the part hanging on the front, and the part looped around her wrist?

            What the hell??

            • MilaXX

               exactly. I can usually get on board with her most out there looks, but this is too out there for me.

            • BrooklynBomber

              See I am fabulous dot com — scroll down, lower left, for more pictures.

          • BrooklynBomber

            There are pictures at because I am fabulous dot com that show the strappy thingies in all their glory. Lower left of the page (scroll down). It’s kind of cool.

            • MilaXX

               SJP is too tiny for this dress, although I can now see why she was attracted to it. On the model it’s kinda pretty. SJP looping it around her wrist and through a bracelet doesn’t help. Neither does the cocker spaniel hair.

      • crash1212

         You’re not the only one. I like it, too. It’s us against all the other PUF’s.

      • PeaceBang

        No, I kind of liked it, too.

    • Krysta

      What is it, exactly, about Lindsay’s appearance that causes her to read so old?  It’s so unpinpointable, and yet so VERY there.

      • mjude


        • ccinnc

           Rode hard and put up wet. There’s a word for that, I can’t think of it.

      • OrigamiRose


    • Rand Ortega

      Why am I only seeing Jenna Elfman’s head?
      Sandra Lee looks like the centerpiece on 1 of her tablescapes.
      SJP just looks ready to go home.
      Chloe Sevigny, LOL! Meet Megan (ME-gan). She’s heading to happy hour after a long day…
      Since “Smash” is inches from cancellation, Katherine McPhee is preparing for the touring production of the new musical version of “A Farewell To Arms”.
      Patricia Clarkson & Ashley Greene FTW.
      Poor Lindsay Lohan.

    • Eric

      Lohan appears to have shopped at

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      The divine Patricia Clarkson always looks so triumphant when she poses for a step-and-repeat — as well she should!

    • mhleta

      This one did it for me: “Sixty-seven years YOUNG, ladies and gentlemen!” Thank you. 

    • BrooklynBomber

      Katherine McPhee’s dress looks more than a little like a WWI nurse’s uniform.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Oh, LINDSAY. She looks like the cracked out older sister of Za Za Gabor here.

    • mhleta

      Someone needs to teach Jenna Elfman how to pose. She looks like she’s been drying on a hook in someone’s basement for the past ten years. 

      • schadenfreudelicious

        LOL!! totally accurate description!

      • MilaXX

         like a broken doll

      • IAmJ

         Oh God, that was perfect. Made me laugh out loud.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I love Patricia Clarkson and it makes me glad to see her so radiant and cheerful. Gorgeous, smart, wonderful woman.

      • mhleta

        I agree. She takes the prize by a mile here. 

    • MissMariRose

      Sandra Lee looks like one of the Real Housewives. 

      • MoHub

         In a way, Sandra Lee was the original Real Housewife.

    • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Its amazing when you see Lindsey and then Patricia next. Patricia looks stunning and younger than Lindsey. I think Chrissy’s dress is pretty bad, that braid thing running down the middle of her legs is very strange. 

    • pattyw

      What is Jenna Elman wearing on her feet?

      • mhleta

        I know! At first glance I thought Chloe Sevigny had chopped them off!

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Patricia Clarkson all the way, bitches.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Ashley Greene – FTW.
      Chloe Sevigny “slutty secretary in an ’80s law firm”– SNORT!
      Chrissy Teigen went to a spa and wore the robe to the party.
      Emilia Clarke – hate the bow, hate the color, just hate it.
      Jenna Elfman just back from her audition as Sally in “You’re A Good Man Charlie Brown”.
      Katharine MacPhee – It doesn’t get more boring than this.  And those shoes look painful!
      Lindsay Lohan – who knew Bumble the Abominable Snowmonster had a twin sister?
      Patricia Clarkson – you’re right the dress is too low, but I love her work so much, I can’t criticize her.
      Sandra Lee – a sausage rolled in glitter.
      Sarah Jessica Parker – getting ready for her starring role in “Maude – The Musical”.

      • BrooklynBomber

        Sally in ‘You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown’ — perfect!

      • In_Stitches

         Bahahaha, ‘a sausage rolled in glitter’ is definitely something Sandra Lee would make.  ‘These glitter sausages are a great addition to the tablescape for your daughter’s princess/german beerhall fusion party.  Fun for the kids AND the adults.’

    • AwesomeMargie

      Father Sarah!

    • lrober03

      Patricia Clarkson was my favorite.  Loved the accessories, and the color was amazing.  It was a bit low, but it wasn’t showing monstrous cleavage, so I’m okay with that

    • Sarah

      Elfman looks like a Stepford Wife. And Lilo, good LORD, I slept on my curls and didn’t groom them properly today, so I am sporting what I like to think of as the “shabby chic” look in my hair today, but that is some serious “I slept on these extensions and NEVER BRUSHED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE” hair.

    • halleyg

      UGH to the white dresses! I’m so over this trend!

      Father Sarah, LOL!

    • marlie

      Patricia Clarkson wins this round, hands down. And I hate the draperies that SJP’s wearing, but LiLo comes out on the bottom by a mile. I wish someone would tell her to hang it up.

    • teensmom99

      Very sad to see LiLo–I always thought her mother was trying to look like her, but now she looks like she’s trying to be her mother.  I actually love SJP’s look–it might help that I’m not Catholic so I have fewer associations.  And I thought WWI nurse for McPhee and am grateful to TLo for pointing out that you can look like a WWI nurse AND look fantastic.

    • 4JJ

      Lindsay Lohan is almost scarier dressed up than when she’s got her usual accessories of tank top, flipflops and cigarette.

    • Tatiana Luján

      Ashley Greene’s belt makes her look like an elf with boobs. An elf in the good sense of the word.

    • alyce1213

      Chloe looks like she got assaulted on her way there.
      and . . . Lindsay Lohan in one post!!!
      An embarrassment of riches, fellas.  Thanks.

    • LilyPad

      Lindsay made me sad. I have to go Google “sleepy puppies” now

    • Barbara Woodruff

      I’m pretty sure that Sandra Lee is still New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s girlfriend. There’s considerable talk that he might have aspirations to the White House. Just think, Sandy could be the FLOTUS! Now there’s a scary thought.

      Also scary – the juxtaposition between Lindsay Lohan and Patricia Clark. If LiLo makes to her 40’s, I doubt she’ll look as good.

      • Barbara Woodruff

        Sorry, this was supposed to be an independent comment, not a contribution to the discussion of wigs on GoT. 

    • Samuel Joesph Donovan

      I’m surprised I like McPhee’s as much as I do–especially since what sold it for me was the WWII reference. Huh.

      Aside from the shoes, I’m actually pretty impressed with Lohan, although I’m getting this bizarre “Charo” vibe off of her lately.

    • E. D.

      Patricia Clarkson looked the best out of these options.

      • l_c_ann

        Patricia’s Mom has been a fixture, often elected to the City Council in New Orleans.  Patricia could dial it back a bit; the topless doesn’t flatter her and more of that blue next to her hair would be better than skin.  Now that Patricia is the age when her Mom first entered big time politics, aging gracefully happens easily inthat family, if she will make a slight effort.

    • DTLAFamilies

      Worst lighting on a red carpet ever. They all look like they should be sitting in a paper gown at the doctor’s office. 

      • margaret meyers

        But no amount of bad lighting can defeat the robustly healthy glow of Sandra Lee!

    • Anathema_Device

      Much much wincing while reading this post. Now I need Botox and a shot of bourbon.

    • Sarah Winningham

      Sandra Lee looks like she is wearing the long version of Uli’s Christmas ornament dress, which would actually be pretty appropriate for Our Lady of the Tablescapes.

    • Judy_J

      Father Sarah….love it!  Chloe looks like she’s ready to take on Arnie Becker in next week’s episode of L. A. Law.  And Lindsay Lohan just makes me sad.  What a waste. 

    • YoungSally

      Chloe is still channelling PIA the swiss mime performance artist….PIA is currently doing research for her adaptation of Designing Women 

    • suzq

      How is it that Sandra Lee looks younger than Lindsay Lohan?

      • carolynmo

        Oh, I was thinking the same thing!

    • Elizabeth

      Ouch. It’s late in the day, so maybe I’m just tired, but do all these ladies look extraordinarily tired to the rest of you? Did they have to trek a couple blocks to this event? What happened? It looks like they swapped their normal RC selves with their personal pictures of Dorian Grey.

      I can kind of see what attracted SJP to this dress, but I can’t look at it without thinking she was attacked by a giant boa constrictor.

      Ashley Greene looks like she’s my age and she’s young enough to be my daughter. And LiLo looks older than my mom. Patricia looks gorgeous in comparison.

      Sad … its’ just sad.

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      OK, it’s official.  I feel really sorry for Lindsay fucking Lohan.  She’s not even 30.  Damn.

    • MinAgain

      I have never seen an uglier, less flattering, more poorly fitted group of dresses in my life.  Was there a contest that we don’t know about?  It is a sad day, when I must commend Sandra Lee, and only Sandra Lee, on having a dress that fits and doesn’t drag the floor like a Snuggie.

    • margaret meyers

      Lilo was not having a good day, was she?  Puffy faced, disheveled and teetering is no way to have your photo taken.  How long did she stay upright?

    • Presumptuous Insect

      Emilia Clarke, what. the .fuck. have. you. done.

    • PeaceBang

      I don’t know who Chrissy Teigen is, but I think you fellas went awfully easy on her.

    • MissAmynae

      Lindsay got lost on the way to the AVN awards.

      I love SJP’s look! It’s oddly beautiful, reminds me of vintage Halston or Norma Kamali.  Hair and makeup are lovely.

    • Call me Bee

      Chloe kinda looks like a guy I used to work for–same haircut, different dress. 
      SJP has gone off the deep end with this frock. 
      Jenna Elfman is wasting away!  That dress does nothing for her slight (skinny, really) frame. 

      I disagree about Sandra Lee indroducing tablescaping–Martha Stewart did it earlier and better.  Not tacky though.  Lots of ladystars have that dress.

    • calimon

      SJP is wearing the red carpet.

    • e jerry powell

      Seriously.  SJP needs a big satin cross sewed on to it, and she’s good to go. She could even rock a censer as an evening bag.

    • Deedles

      Does Ms.Teigan realize she is dressed like a feminine protection item?

    • mom2ab

      SJP looks haggard and raggedy- that scarf vestment thingy is tied to her wrist- I mean come ON!!!

    • Dino Bonačić

      LILO. poor girl.

    • Naomi Shigenaga

      At first I thought Chrissy Teigen was wearing a footed onesie pajama

    • TRSTL

      Why is Ms. McPhee wearing Joans Collins old dress from Dynasty? And poor Lindsay, that really is just tragic….

    • kathrineb

      Lindsay Lohan is really tragic looking. I know I’m stating the obvious…
      It’s just every time I see her making a public appearance I feel pain. The horrendous plastic surgery, the bad style choices, it’s all so sad.