After-Oscars 2013: Heidi Klum in Julien MacDonald

Posted on February 26, 2013

Guten Tag, Titsen!


Heidi Klum attends the 2013 Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party in a Julien MacDonald plunging v-neck gown accessorized with Lorraine Schwartz jewelry.

Julien MacDonald Fall 2013 Collection

It is HILARIOUS to consider the runway look next to this … thing. We picture Heidi saying , “Yes! I’ll wear THIS one! But first, you have to rip everything off up top except two little straps to flatten meine titsen and cover my nipples!”

Oh, girl. Never change.


[Photo Credit: David Gabber/PR Photos, Alexandra Wyman, Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images,]

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  • FloridaLlamaLover

    Oh my. While I would still trade MY body for Heidi’s any day of the week, she needs to start dressing with a bit more dignity.

    • EveEve

      Her “taste issues” certainly came to the fore.  The butchering she had done to that gorgeous Deco dress is a pity.  Even with her body, often less skin is more attractive than too much skin.

      • Mary229

        I totally agree with you.  Less is often more.  I hate the dress and I think it’s tacky.  And yet, I’m still sitting here thinking…I can’t believe she still has those boobs after 4 kids.  So maybe she got what she wanted. 🙂

        • 4JJ

          They may, of course, be reconstructed titsen (love that!) after 4 children.

          • Mary229

            They might be.  But if they are it’s the best job I’ve ever seen.  They sag naturally and look soft.  They don’t have the look of implants.  So whatever she did…whether it was natural or paid for…it was well done.

      • butterflysunita

        I think this is actually the worst look I’ve ever seen on Heidi.  That is saying a lot, because she has worn some tacky outfits. 

    • Kristin McNamara

      Most BATHING SUITS cover more than that dress does. Good Christ, Klum!

      • judybrowni

        And it was 45 degrees in L.A. Sunday night!
        Courting bronchitis is the new sexy.

    • e jerry powell

      She’s got that “desperate to prove that I’m still single” air with this one.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Heidi needs to look up Queen Helen of Fuckinfantastica to begin her course in how to dress her body as she moves into her 40’s and beyond. Yes, you can still look hot without putting the titsen on a platter-but it takes a bit more effort -and taste.

  • Wow, unflattering.  Why do I have a hankering for pancakes?

    • It is SQUISHING her breasts into flat pancakes? 🙂 

      • DinaSews

        It makes you wonder why she didn’t at least hike them up a little bit.

        • StellaZafella

           When they reach her knees, she’s ready to open a new product line: Titsocks! named “Klumsokken”
          “Keep ’em warm, but keep ’em showing!”

          • sojourneryouth

             I’m seriously crying over “Klumsokken”.  In my head, they are best worn with clogs and Heidihosen.

          • klumsokken der titsen, yah!

  • And yes, my hair is styled to look like the fabric on this dress. 

    • 3boysful

       I noticed that, too!

  • BeeBeauNYC

    That dress WAS so gorgeous.

    • Amen, Bro,  Amen.

      • BayTampaBay

        Agree!  I really love the dress as shown on the runway model.

        • sojourneryouth

           I wish I could see the back of the runway version, because I imagine all of that awful illusion netting wasn’t there because more fabric WAS!  Then, it leads to that weird placement of triangular gold fabric leading down to her butt.  Just.  So.  Wrong.

          • But how else would you know to look at her butt? Ay, this woman.

    • VanessaDK

       The runway look is breathtakingly sophisticated.  An example when the additional coverage was used well. You could remove the sleeves from it, but the center panel and high neckline showcase the detailing beautifully.

  • Oh. Dear. Lord.  How is it that this woman can manage to look both fabulous, and fabulously trashy at the same time in the same overwrought frock?

    • I think we can safely retire “I’d wear that on the red carpet” as a favorable review on Project Runway.

      • Frankly, I have never given her runway critique much creedence.

        •  Me, neither, and this look supports that.  I want to throw things at the tv anytime she says something about a look being cheap, trashy, or hookerish, since those words describe much of her own wardrobe.

          • Heidi:  “It looks cheap, trashy and like something a hooker would wear!”
            Everyone else [side-eye]: “So you…love it?”

    • Vlasta Bubinka

      Because she has the power Gold Sequin Coot Arrow Voodoo! Deploying mind control sparkles now! Hack!

    • It’s her gift to the world. 

      • Vlasta Bubinka

        Truly, she’s a national treasure.

    • BeeBeauNYC

       She’s got talent, that Heidi!

    • Glammie

      It’s all that Victoria’s Secret training.  Though couldn’t she have borrowed a bra from them?

      Oh Heidi.

  •  Her make-up is good. And that’s all that’s good here.

  • KittieLynnNYC

    Geez, woman…put those things AWAY! We GET it; you’re 40 with a body that would put most 20 somethings to shame. You’re divorced and hot-to-trot. You’re HEIDI. But please, enough already. This is just so tacky. You can be sexy and still have some class.

    •  Thank you!!!

    • MoHub

       Actually, part of the problem is that she no longer has the same body she had a few years ago but refuses to acknowledge it. It’s still a great bod, but the boobs are no longer perky, the hips are broader, and there’s a hint of a belly working—none of which is bad as long as you know how to dress appropriately.

      For gawd’s sake! She was a Victoria’s Secret model! Why the heck can’t she see that she needs a bra full time these days?

    • barbarienne

       Definitely trying WAY too hard. She should go talk to Halle Berry, who occasionally has the same problem but overcame it spectacularly for the Oscars.

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Halle Berry really looked wonderful.

  • Little_Olive

    Heidi… I think you have crossed over to the sartorial bad place. 

    In strict terms of fashion, she looks haggard, the hair (esp. the dye job) is terrible, the netting looks cheap, the way the dress fits widens her midsection, the earrings are too much. No, no, no. 

    • lizajane1776

       She has been doing that to her waist lately. I think her shoulders aren’t wide enough to do what she thinks this does.

    • TheDivineMissAnn

      The earrings are too much…..and the rings are just as garish.

      She would have absolutely rocked that dress if she had left it alone and worn the runway version.

    • julesj

      Who is looking at her midsection? 

    • mhleta

      She’s really starting to channel Gemma Teller, and not in a good way. 

  • carolynmo

    Magic mirror syndrome strikes again!

  • thesixthbeatle

    Booby booby booby booby booby trashy! Its almost comical how badly her tatas are hanging out.

    • janierainie

      And she looks so proud and confident! Somebody take her aside! Nina should yell at her.

  • Jessi03

    She said in an interview that people kept complimenting her on her dress, but not looking at her face when they said it.  Ya think, Heids?

    • Isn’t she about 5’11”? And then she wears heels. I’m sure a lot of people were talking to her navel. I’d have to look up to talk to the “boobs”.

      • Jessi03

        She is.  I’m 5’11 too, and I feel really awkward when I hug short people, especially when I’m wearing revealing tops.  It’s like “Here!  Bury your face in my breasts!”  That’s not ALWAYS the message I want to give, so I tend to do the awkward tall person side-lean before I hug.

  • Good LORD, Heidi. You look ridiculous.

    •  That is so many kinds of awful, isn’t it?  Titsens aside (as if!), that illusion netting is an insult.  And those earrings … in case we missed the titsen in the first place, she has the earrings to point the way.  I think she is taking this break up with Seal harder than anyone must know –  her “fashion” choices have been worse than ever since the break up.  Was he perhaps the voice of reason in that household?

  • DinaSews

    She looks 10 years older than she needs to and why does her hair always look so greasy when she is dressed to the nines?

  • Laylalola

    There is no way she wouldn’t ream a contestant for showing that much wrong-toned netting on the back of a dress.

    • DinaSews

      And why are there seams in it? 

  • Why would you WANT to advertise that you’re having your spanx built right into the dress??!? 

  • Knightley

    What gets me the most is the illusion netting.  We already see her tits, so we’d find her back and ass too risque? WHAT PURPOSE DOES IT SERVE?  It can’t be structural, that stuff is as flimsy as it gets, so seriously….

    • Spicytomato1

      My thoughts exactly. Bizarre, right?

    • carolclark12

       It may fall off without the illusion netting in the back, since she butchered the front to display her tatas.

    • Aurumgirl

      It’s actually not filmy, so much as it is a very ugly, very visible colour against her skin.  In back, and also at the shoulder straps.  Something about it communicates “Gravity Is Winning This Battle”, especially in the front.  

      • Sweetbetty

         What’s going on at her right bicep in the photo just above the close-up of her rings?  It almost looks as if a strap fell down off her shoulder except that there were no straps.  Does that netting pull out enough to form little cap sleeves and we’re seeing the edge of it?  Why in that photo and none of the others?  Why the netting at all?  So many unanswerable questions.

        • Adriana_Paula

          I think, God help us, the netting is doing exactly that.  The horror.  If she HAD to alter itto show skin I wish she’d left the top alone and just made it a micromini, as sad as it would be to do that to the lovely chevron pattern.

    • Little_Olive

      Totally. Like it could for a second look less slutty. 

      Which reminded me of many a judgement on PR. I would pay good money to see La Nina’s reaction to this… thing.   

  • Pooja Mirpuri

    It’s the type of dress I would expect on JLO – can’t believe Heidi would show up at the oscars looking so tacky

  • What she has done to that beautiful dress is just criminal. 

  • Introspective

    seal is somewhere looking at this pic and chuckling to himself.

  • Mein eyes, how they roll. 

  • charlotte

    Can’t she just go away? Auf Nimmerwiedersehen….

  • Stubenville

    Hey Heidi, why not just go naked?

    • 3boysful

       Seriously–the alterations to that dress have rendered it plain vulgar.  And I despise the earrings.

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    Nein nein nein nein NEIN!

  • jencapture

    Though not completely topless, I feel Heidi’s look fits perfectly into Seth McFarlane’s “We Saw Your Boobs!” Oscar sketch.

  • CPK1

    Her face looks lovely in the close up but everything else is so unnecessarily tacky. Poor Julien MacDonald must be horrified, the runway version was so gorgeous

    • Lisa_Cop

      Julien is no stranger to bad taste but truly Heidi has him beat by a mile (or 10).

  • This is how Tits McKlum interprets the shiny art deco glam look of the moment…

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    Can you imagine sitting down to watch TV in that thing? I guess flannel PJ bottoms aren’t an option… 

  • Stubenville

    Frankly, Julien MacDonald should have told Heidi “no” to the changes she demanded.The dress has become so trashy that it may impact his reputation.

    • MaryAtRealityTea

      Really – aren’t they always sending designers home on PR for not being able to meld their vision with the wishes of the client?

  • What’s going on with her forehead?! 

  • Nancy Dunn

    I’ve been waiting for you to do this! It was such a beautiful dress, I wonder what the designer thinks of the final look? I would be weeping, for sure. She is showing an obscene amount of breasts. Someone on another site commented on Heidi and a few others, who looked less classy than a gathering of porn stars. I think that says it all. She is in danger of being a caricature, which will harm her show immensely if no one takes her seriously at all. She needs to be careful, she is becoming a joke.

    • I think that the designer knew full well what happened every step of the way. If it were me I would be laying in a dark corner in the fetal position. So sad what they did to that dress. 

      • Little_Olive

        Same here, plus sucking on my thumb. 

  • fringebenefit

    The original was gorgeous. Heidi could have carried it off beautifully. The whole thing is just sad.

  • This looks horrible. She looks like a girl in an 80’s beer ad. 

  • Snorted coffee up my nose at ‘meine titsen.’ Danke for that!

  • Jangle57

    Did they mention Heidi in that song parody: We saw your boobs?  Hmm, probably not but could have.  No, I really wish my body looked as slamming as hers but that’s no excuse for this excess display of well, excess. 

  • Puckndc

    who let the hooker into the party???

  • par3182

    Well, it’s not short….

  • It’s….very her. I’m over it.

  • Annabelle Archer

    Tragic, hot, desperate mess. Are she and JLo hanging out now?

    • l_c_ann

      They’re both certainly hanging.Lower every day.

      • Nelliebelle1197

         And making sure we all know it.

  • joancarol

    Over the shoulder bolder holder

    • MoHub

       Except that the boulders aren’t exactly being held.

  • I can only think that this was such a gorgeous dress before Heidi took the scissors to it. And that illusion netting just made me shed a tear. Horrific. 

  • Where are her friends? Where are her stern but loving German gays? Where is her taste?

  • imustacheyouaquestion


  • In case anyone forgot, she wants to remind you that she is still single.

  • margaret meyers

    The “taste issues” here are obvious. 

    The fact that the dress makes her waist look thick and her boobs look saggy is almost exceedd by the “illusion” insets that are as visible as cargo netting.  It’s called “illusion” for a reason.

  • She REALLY needs a bra

  • Susan Collier

    Is this an Adult Video Awards event?

  • That runway dress is so fabulous, and this dress… it WOUNDS me. 

    Alternative comment: No. 

    (Seriously, I strongly considered just posting “No.” That’s how wrong I find Heidi’s dress.)

  • AlinaValero

    holy tits. this is borderline NSFW.

  • Aurumgirl

    Think how much younger and more beautiful she would have looked with the runway version.

  • JasmineAM


  • It gives vulgar a bad name.


    I was so busy being horrified by the dress and “squishing” situation that it took me a few minutes to notice the god awful jewelry.  How many pairs of earrings is she actually wearing?!  And then the matchy, matchy rings? All on one hand?  There is nothing about the look I can even remotely sign off on.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    nein, Schatz, nein…

  • nannypoo

    She looks so pleased with herself. Ick.

  • I hate to say this, because she’s so fantastic, but she’s starting to look less like a supermodel and more like a Real Housewife of Desperation.

  • msdamselfly

    the runway look was very pretty

  • Joan Pantsios


    And the jewelry looks cheap, too.

    “I question her taste.”

    • Lisa_Cop

      Ya think??:(

  • Judy_S

    All I can think of is the original ads for Raquel Welch in 10,000 years BC. Except Welch was more covered up. 

  • Totally disagree. I am tired of looking at middle-aged tits, especially those who have sucked four children. She is ridiculous.

  • SapphoPoet

    LOVE the runway look. Heidi’s–well, not so much. 

  • Judy_J

    Besides the obvious problem with this dress, it also makes her look thick in the middle, like she has no waistline.  It’s very unflattering. 

  • Lilithcat

    This is a very tacky look, but then, as her fellow PR judge would say, “The taste level isn’t there.”

  • E. D.

    Ugh – better on the model.

  • MoHub

    At last! Thought you’d never get this posted!

  • Tamara Hogan

    Of course.

    The next time Heidi talks about a Project Runway contestant’s questionable taste level, I will see THIS PICTURE. 

    • MoHub

       Well, truth be told, it’s usually Nina who trots out the “taste level” critique. Now if only she’d apply it to Heidi.

  • fungstyle

    I mean… does anyone actually think she looks hot in this? I’m not saying she’s not in great shape but this is not sexy to my eyes. At all. 

  • christinewithanx

    This would be a great dress if she was still nursing! Such easy access!

  • ashtangajunkie

    I don’t know why I’m surprised.

  • UUgghhhh

  • voter1

    The runway dress was so much prettier.

  • KSpence


  • ojosazules

    Even if you don’t take the boob thing into consideration (impossible), this makes her look chunky around the middle. The triangles and chevron embellishments on the tummy don’t work.

  • n a


  • That is unfortunate… She is stunning, dress would be stunning if it had a higher neckline.

    Looks like she is desperate to land another man after her divorce.

  • Dot

    Holy shit. She took that beautiful gown from the runway and turned it into a vulgar Vegas stripper get-up. Impressive!

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    Can I just further comment that there are several photos of Heidi attending this party and standing next to Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. KIM looks 10x classier than Heidi. That should be your wake-up call, Heidi. Go to a retreat, cry into some wine, do some good hard soul searching, and then accept that somewhere in the last 10 years you aged out of your twenties and it is time to put those suckers away, grow up, and class up. 

  • Janet B

    Are squished breasts even attractive?The original is a gorgeous sexy dress. All of the “illusion” is bordering on comical.

    • MoHub

       I don’t really see them as squished. They’ve just gotten floppy.

  • l_c_ann

    It appears that Heidi no longer has a well defined waist.  It also appears that she no longer wears bras, ever. 

    Is this her revenge on Victoria’s Secret no longer using her on their runway?

  • “Guten Tag, Titsen!” 

    I will be saying that to my reflection every damn morning. I laughed myself sick. 

  • jilly_d

    Girl, please pack this dress up and ship it off to Keira Knightley.

  • capybara_cafe

    UGH. The runway version was quite beautiful, this looks like it belongs on someone you can rent for the evening. WAY too much boob, and way too much nasty mesh. You know they would destroy a designer for that mesh on PR.

  • littlemac8

    Well, at least she didn’t open the zipper ALL the way!!!

  • DaveUWSNYC

    Tits on toast

  • JaneDC

    Compare and contrast to the much more covered and elegants Deco look of Halle Berry and even Stacy Keibler. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi.

  • marilyn

    The netting on the back makes it look like a costume of some kind.  I think this makes her look stocky.  Removing the fabric on the top makes the dress unbalanced.  Heidi is looking sleazier and sleazier.  Too bad.  She has a very successful career.  She has PR in the US and Germany.  She does not need to attract attention like this.

  • Alyssa

    At least the hair isn’t as severe as usual? That’s the best I’ve got…

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      But the hair is a greasy mess.

      • Alyssa

        True. I was trying really hard to find at least one positive!

  • seehowpretty

    Embarrassed for her. She looks like a desperate fool.

  • crash1212

    This is just awful on all levels.

  • JauntyJohn

    Has it come to this?  Heidi Klum looks… desperate?  I keep scrolling back, looking for a sense of fun in the whole thing — maybe it’s there and the coffee hasn’t kicked in, but desperate was my knee-jerk reaction.

  • MilaXX

    She should have worn the original version. Even Halle knew to show a little restraint. Also  that jewelery probably only works with a simple black dress, but if she had to wear it, she should have chosen the earrings or the ring, not both.

  • kategs

    She looks flat awful. 

  • BuffaloBarbara

    :laughing too madly for coherent response:

  • MilaXX

     It’s sad because Heidi is still a gorgeous woman, but this just screams “I had 4 kids but I’m still sexy!” Those boobs needs some support.

  • SewingSiren

    Horrid. The neckline is extremely unflattering and the illusion netting casts awful illusions on her body.

  • quiltrx

    Darling, we love you…but YOU ARE THE MOTHER OF SEVERAL SOMEONES.  Start acting like it.  And for God’s sake, you are at a point in your life where those titsen NEED some support.  We don’t want to see your flapjacks, thanks.

    (the original dress was gorgeous, btw)

  • MilaXX

     It’s probably a knuckle ring, just one big piece.

  • VicksieDo

    That’s it, she can’t judge ANYONE on taste level, EVER!

    • Coco Cornejo

      As I think back on it, usually it’s Nina or the Duchess who bring up taste levels. Somewhere in here heart-of-hearts Heidi seems to realize she really can’t speak to that.

      • VicksieDo

        Oh but she shakes her head in agreement! If she ever utters the words “taste level” again, I will pen a strongly worded letter! HAHA

  • decormaven

    Something about this dress reminds me of one that either Dorothy Stratten wore or Mariel Hemingway wore in Star 80. Either way, I still get that whiff of desparation from it. Truly regrettable to see how this… thing.. morphed from the runway version.

  • Jecca2244

    Embarrassed for her even if she does have an enviable body.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    Oh Heidi.  Just stop it already, please?

  • mhleta

    This was really unflattering and very disturbing from the side view. Once I made the mistake of looking down at my boob while it was flattened under a plate of glass for a mammogram. This is bringing the horror back in vivid and painful detail. 

  • valerie saenz

    Heidi Kardashian Klum I presume?

  • janierainie

    She has definitely hit bottom with this one. Hopefully she’ll realize it. Her loved ones should tell her. 

  • Indigo54

     Dadgummit Heidi!  What is your problem?!

  • Cathy S

    Holy crap Heidi! What the heck? The runway dress is gorgeous. What the hell did you do to it?

  • Coco Cornejo

    It’s hard to believe, but the back of the dress is actually worse than the front. Oh, no! No. I meant it. Really, no Heidi. Just, no.

  • Lisa Hura

    After that, Heidi never gets to question anyone’s taste level ever again.

  • mozzer0906

    This is horrid.  Her boobs look like they are hanging their heads in shame, then you have the back, which is even worse.

  • zelavie

    Easily the most unflattering thing I’ve ever seen her wear.

  • tereliz

    This was basically the tackiest gown of the night for me. ‘Nuff said. 

  • I laughed so loud at your commentary that I had to send the link to my coworkers because they wanted in on the fun.

  • jenno1013

    I will not address the breasts, because there is nothing more to say.

    She needed only ONE ring, not three, and the earrings are kind of a lot.  The illusion netting, especially at the shoulders, is excreble.

  • piecesofconfetti


  • stubbornthoughts

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one, Heidi.

  • Zippypie

    Vulgar.  I took 3 years of German in high school and I can’t remember how to say it in German.  I do remember how to say schiesse!

    Heidi is the Original Kartrashian.

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    Oy! How unattractive and yet at the same time a camera magnet.
    The girl knows her business!

  • Judi Townsend

    Heidi is now the German version of Kim Kardashian

  • It’s very Vegas, and her makeup and face look dipped in Crisco.

    I’m the exact same age as Heidi, so I feel comfortable saying this:  Honey, it’s time to start covering it up.  You don’t have to go full Grandma, but remember that you are pushing 40.  Mutton-as-lamb isn’t a good look on anybody, even a supermodel.

  • Beardslee

    Really vulgar – and very sad.  Such a desperate dress, such a drawn face.

  • The back is even worse. No wait, turn around. OK, the front. No wait, the back. I feel dizzy.

  • SistaT

    She looks HORRID.  We realize you have nice boobs, Heidi.  It’s fine to put them away.  And the hair and makeup make her look old and tired.  It’s just so … desperate.  Ew.

  • YoungSally

    To use the correct German —

    Heidi, kaufen Sie ein Büstenhalter !!

    • einen Büstenhalter…

      • YoungSally


  • Jessica Goldstein

    Two quick comments:
    (1) This would be tacky on anyone, regardless of age. 
    (2) She would have been an absolute stunner in the original. Such a wasted opportunity here.

  • surfergirl70

    She looks desperate and vulgar.  Feh.

  • Droopy, droopy, droopy.  It’s time to start wearing some support, Heidi. Danke.

  • Loola234

    This seemed as good of place to say this, as it applies, but ladies with fair hair don’t often pull off the nude lip.  Yes – it’s amazing I’m talking about her lips, but I thought that both Jennifer Lawrence AND Charlize Theron should have had a stronger lip.  Am I alone in this??

  • Of course.

  • Cher wore it better, 40 years ago!

  • “Designers, for your next challenge, please turn me into the Empire State Building.”

  • deathandthestrawberry

    That is a TERRIBLE-looking dress. Honey, I know you’re single now, but have some dignity.

  • There is “Hey, guess what, I’ve had a litter of kids and got divorced and I’m still fucking fabulous, let me show you it!” and there is… this. Heidi, Heidi, nein nein nein!

  • shanteUstay

    Forgive me for such horrible language but the word “Slut” fairly reeks off the dress.
    And is it just me or does it make her look like she’s sporting a beer gut in this dress, makes her look fat(not plus size, but fat)

    • Lisa_Cop

      Now whenever she says “sexy not slutty” I will realize she does NOT really know the difference.

  • Melizmatic

    Oh, gurl; NO.

    That’s just wrong.

  • warnerave

    not’s obscene!

  • Imasewsure

    It’s awful, tacky, slutty and inappropriate… I look forward to many many more years of this verrückte Fraulein and her slut-tastic ways

  • This is definitely an “of course.” And while I’m not going to deny that La Klum still has it, I still think that the girls need a little more… support. 

  • unbornfawn

    She would have been much sexier in the runway version.

  • appliquer

    Ticky-tacky. She took a beautiful runway dress and ruined it. There are ways of showing a beautiful body without resorting to hookerville.

  • CeeQ

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh for fuck’s sake Heidi. I’m dying over here!!!

  • Tuneful54

    I haven’t had a date in 3 years, and I’m not THAT desperate. 

  • Diego!

    She is competing with Mariah Carey on who has the best slutty chic look? She destroyed an amazing dress. 

  • MintaHallWriter

    The runway look was so striking and this was just…just…just…
    AUF.  Yes. that’s it. AUF.

  • NDC_IPCentral

    I have no idea whether Frau Klum reads TLo (she sure as heck should) or any of the other blogs that have commented on her appearance at the Academy Awards, but if she does, wouldn’t she just be supremely mortified to have been so rightly pilloried?  There’s really nothing redeemable in this get-up, and she’s a laughingstock.

    I repeat: a LAUGHINGSTOCK.

    As well as an object of horrified pity.

    Granted, we’re mere mortals, but I haven’t seen any approval for this anywhere – wouldn’t this sink into her head and constitute a lesson to be learned?

  • throwaneyeonthis

    Hmmm….trying to take the high road on this one.  Glad she didn’t do an overly smokey-eye.  Best I’ve got.

  • is anyone else getting embarrassed for her?

  • Trisha26


  • She needs an “of course” for this. Her clothes always just shout “I’m desperate” to me. Hilarious when models can’t manage to dress themselves well. 

  • oh honey, NO.

  • Therese Bohn

    I get it Heidi, you have boobs.  She should be arrested for mutalating a piece of art. She’s turned an glorious art deco treasure into a 70’s Times Square hooker.

  • EEKstl

    I almost spit out my bite of tuna sandwich when I saw the runway version.  Then I almost choked on it when I saw the back.  On God’s Green Earth, WHY was that necessary?  And what it does to the straps of the dress in the front!  If this woman EVER says anything about “Taste Issues” on PR again I will throw something at the screen.  HIDDY!!!

  • BaddestMotherEver

    FOUR Children????  Slow clap to you, Frau Klum…slow.clap.

  • kat89

    She should name her next perfume “Desperate” because that’s how she’s looking these days. 

  • Um…I don’t care who it is…Halle, Heidi, Catherine Zeta Jones. When you breastfeed and get older those babies are going down…she is about to put somebody’s eye out with those things!  LOL!

  • Qitkat

    Bette Midler is saying “when I sang *over the shoulder boulder holder”, this is NOT what I meant.

  • Jennifer Coleman

    She has lost her natural mind. 

  • TSkot

    Sad, really.

  • She looks ridiculous.  And desperate.  And droopy.

  • tessasouthworth

    Monstrosity of tastelessness.

  • Dagney

    oh dear.

  • Why does she even bother wearing clothes…

  • susan6

    Nina Garcia…..please sit this woman down and have a loooooooong talk with her.

  • She’s got no waist in this thing – not very flattering even though her favorite assets are on display.

  • B_C_J

    Oh my!  She is so beautiful and yet so misguided with regard to her fashion. The runway version was infinitely better. This looks quite vulgar. The rings and the earrings are just too much. 

  • mmc2315

    Understatement of the day:  I wish she would’ve gone with the runway version of the dress.

    The thumbnail looked like the top of a swimsuit for Sports Illustrated!

    • Dagney

      Yeah, agreed.  Or, do the plunging neckline, with the rest of the original dress and some support.  This look is so bizarre.

  • Oozing in desperation for attention. A neckline ending at your navel is never a good idea

  • Really Heidi?!!  REALLY??  This is just SAD.  She should be fired from Project Way for such bad taste.

  • mmc2315

    So…do they use a special tape to hold the dress against her skin so her nips don’t fly out?  

  • I think she just needs to start shopping wherever it is that vegas showgirls get their costumes so that she can stop ruining beautiful designer dresses.

  • Dagney

    The sad and frustrating part is this dress could be stunning.  SHE could be stunning.  All it would take is a slightly higher neckline and little bit of support.  Sigh.  I don’t like to say ladies in their 40’s are “desperate” when they vamp it up, but this looks truly sad.

  • UglyTalents

    Fabulous! “Meine titsen” is what I call mine now!!!!

  • Just … no.

  • MzzPants

    I’m sorry, Frau Ex-Seal.  This is a desperate train wreck.  Mondo asked people to post three-word comments about this look and all I could think was, ‘She a HO!’

  • formerlyAnon

    No. She’s still beautiful, but this is not a good look. It emphasizes how she’s aging.

    However, any (ETA: well, the vast majority) heterosexual male and anyone who wants to be on her rich, connected good side will be just fine with it, so she’s not going to get clued in anytime soon.

  • snarkykitten

    TACKY. This is not aging gracefully, mein freund

  • peachy

    the runway version is gorg. the heidi version not so much. put the twins away and act like a grown woman. 

  • Carly Warnock

    I think this does not show off her breasts in the nicest of ways. I don’t know if they are sagging or just squished? She really needs to rein it in.

  • j_anson

    Oh my… LORD.

  • Of course!

  • The sheer stuff looks much worse than the pancakes

  • Buffy


  • I don’t care HOW fabulous those puppies are, the stench of desperation is so thick I’m surprised we can see her nakedness through it.

  • libraangel

    Heidi, we have told you many times to stop dressing like this! How can you be a judge on PR when your taste level is in the gutter, absolutely hopeless, and you aren’t doing yourself any favors, girl! (Even though you must think you are the sexiest thing on the planet!)

  • e jerry powell

    I like the original better.

  • lobsterlen

    When I first saw Hedi I thought she attending the Porn Awards in Vegas. Then I realized those porn gals dress better for that award show.

  • Is it just me or is Heidi looking less svelte than usual? If she hasn’t thickened in the waist, she needs to take advice from a stylist and wear things that don’t make her mid-section look wide. 

  • jw_ny

    I’m sure Heidi just misunderstood the invitation in its stating it was a viewing party.  Clearly she thought they wanted to view her… tits, back and hips.    😉

    (slutty slutty slutty)

  • shelley514

    Her jewelry is stunning!  Is this by the same designer as Michelle Obama’s Oscar gown because the pattern looks similar on both?

  • rtuko

    Is she incapable of wearing nothing else but peek-a-boo dresses? (well in this case, it’s less ‘peek-a-boo’ than simply LOOK AT THEM!) We get it, you’re a MILF, you’re single. Now calm down.

  • jorinde

    Still cracking up about your first comment! That it’s originally “Titten” in German doesn’t make it less funny. Maybe we’ll all say Titsen round here next time, sounds much more creepy!

  • Synnamin


    • MoHub

      Dis iss de time on Shprockets ven ve dantz!

    • That you chose to make this post in all caps makes it 100 times awesome!

      • Synnamin

         I thought it captured the air of desperation, n’est-ce pas?

  • All the hoopla around the Boob song at the Oscars and then you look at all these glamorous women not leaving much to the imagination.  I don’t get it, I thought the song was dumb, but not offensive.  Can’t we laugh at anything these days w/out being concerned that it’s politically incorrect?

  • Just think how she’ll look when she’s still wearing this stuff at 60 b/c I’m sure she’ll be even more desperate by then to remind everyone that she’s still genetically superior to us all.  Jesus, Heidi!  Why not just go topless?  You’re practically there anyway. 
    She is ridiculous! 

  • Lily-Rygh

    Let’s have a contest: Top That Tack!  Who is the tackiest celebrity the collective kittens know?  If anyone can name a well-known celebrity who consistently wears the tackiest thing in any room on any day, a celebrity you think may actually be tackier than the Kluminator, please proudly offer her name up for debate.  (Let’s stick with ladies for this round, so we’re comparing apples to apples…so to speak.)

    • altalinda


  • Bwin51

    Okay, after the boob shock, all I can say is, it makes her look fat.

  • MissAmynae

    and now I’m singing Seth McFarlane’s “we saw your boobs” song…..

  • poggi

    I know, like everyone else, that she has a great body but if this was all you saw of her you wouldn’t know just how good.  At least when Halle Berry wears a a border-line desperate/tacky dress, she looks hot in it.  

  • MiriamMc75

    Wow. Desperate and pathetic. Sad, really…

    • bd73

      and she’s too young to be acting this way! dear fashion model, please do things that flatter your body, not titillate the paparazzi.

  • lobsterlen

    I cannot believe Heidi has the gall to host and judge a clothing design contest.

  • DeGuz

    THIS is vulgar. There is no way else to describe it.

  • Beverly Kozma

    The next time on Project Runway that she calls something “cheap” or “tacky,” I’m going to claw her eyes out.  In my mind.  This dress started out so lovely, and she has ruined it.  I love plunging necklines, but there’s no excuse for this display.  She looks almost as tacky as Glanville (puke).

  • hahahahaha, literally just started laughing out loud in class over your comments!

  • GTrain


  • demidaemon

    WTF happened to the runway version! Holy shit, Heidi!

  • snich11

    I am seriously starting to wonder about her mental stability…is she bipolar or something? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

  • CarolinLA

    My first thought was “Of course”.  She’s the Lea Michele of the over 35 set.  I don’t think we see this level of tacky at the Porn Awards.

  • patticake1601

    God Lord, if she was aiming for slutty and tacky well…ding ding ding ding ding ding!

  • I’m just gonna say it…  Eww!!!  I’m oddly offended by this.  Not because I’m a prude, but because I feel like this is Real Housewives levels of tacky.  She ruined that gorgeous dress and did a true disservice the designer. 

  • guest2visits

    This was such a beautiful gown before the Heidi-revision. Who knew!  (well, we all knew)

    You know Heidi; besides the obvious let-me-show-you-how-it’s-done-Anne; I never, ever want to hear one word about tacky
    illusion-netting on PR… evveer.     That being said; you look happy and fabulously ready to disco-the-night-away.

  • pookiesmom

    Oh, honey, NO!

  • CrazyAuntie

    Gross and vulgar.  It amazes me that this woman has the audacity–the BALLS– to judge other people’s creations on PR.  Unbelievable!

  • lrhoff

    I’m just downright embarrassed for her.  Good grief.  Is this a mid-life crisis or something?

  • Donna Schmidt

    The netting is so awful. It’s not even close to her skin tone and looks like old pantyhose.

  • She’s really reeking of desperation these days, putting the girls on display all the time and dressing like some 20-something starlet. I like this woman and think she’s good looking BUT someone really needs to tone her down…a really sexy person doesn’t need to remind you of the fact every time you see them every time in public.

  • Lisa_Cop

    Is this the most revealing Frau Klum has gone? I gasped when I saw the top. Oh Heidi, no 🙁

  • FridaStaire

    Gott in Himmel! Ach du liebe Zeit!

  • AutumnInNY

    The original dress is stunning. If this had been designed by a PR contestant they would have been sent home
    for taste issues most certainly. What would Nina say?  Too bad she had to Heidi-it-up to sluttyville. 

  • Showgirls meets Dr Seuss’ Green Eggs and Ham.

  • Susan Crawford

    Illusion netting looks SO cheap, doesn’t it, when it mismatches the skin tone this poorly. And OK, we get that your girls are spectacular, but Heidi, this is a gigantic AUF!

  • ms_kat

    There is also something deeply unflattering about the waist, if you can get past the boobs. A terrible look.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Oh, Heidi. No reason to be a total HO on the red carpet. Your face can take the attention by itself. (I actually mistyped TITself. See what I mean?)

  • cringing

  • Frank Lithium

    Yes, believe it or not, we all know how ridiculous your body still is fraulein Heidi, now stop being so tasteless.

  • Oh dear

  • H2olovngrl

    “Desperation is a stinky cologne”

  • MissChicklet

    I see she got something from the F-U Seal spring line.

  • jetpackdino

    Oh Heidi, Heidi, Heidi.  As a female with Rodents of Unusual Size myself, I can sympathize with your situation here.  

    But the laws of physics are the laws. of. physics.  You must be properly supported at all times.  

  • Zyxomma

    She looks as hard as a hooker, if hookers were able to afford to dress like Heidi.

  • rottenkitty

    Oh heavens, just no.  If she’d worn it the way it was originally created, it would have been amazing. But this, this is just awful.

  • well, maybe she had to talk to Seal or something or he had to pick up the kids that morning and she had to remind him of what he’s missing or whatever. Considering the intensity of their relationship, i’m sure they hook up every so often. Either way, I’ve seen some of her earlier photos when she first became a model. Those aren’t her original tits. No way. She has air valves installed on those babies. Good for her. We can judge, but who knows what we would do with $20 mil a year, that is after flipping our boss off and buying a winery.