Before we move on to the Critics Choice Awards red carpet, let’s wrap up our bitchery for the People’s Choice Awards. Because critics aren’t people, apparently.
Such a disappointing little gay. He always dresses for the red carpet like he’s heading off to his job in a cubicle farm.
Not bad. Very British. Pants could’ve used some hemming and the jacket looks a bit snug, but not bad overall.
Ellen Pompeo in Lanvin
Simple, but we like the addition of the belt to give it some interest.
Heidi Klum in Julien MacDonald
We would expect no less from the Kluminator.
But someone needs to tell her to retire the severe hair. She looks so much better with a blowout.
Julliane Hough in Tony Ward Couture
Cute. Seems to fit weird in the shoulders, though.
While we salute the idea of a glittery jumpsuit, we’re afraid this one makes her look much bigger than she actually is.
That is one glittery confection of a dress. Suddenly we’re in the mood for cotton candy. Awful shoes.
We don’t know who she is, but we salute her willingness to sell the shit out of the goods.
Melissa Rauch in Junko Yoshioka
It’s a striking dress, but pale blondes should really stay away from yellows. This is going to sound goofy as shit, but we appreciate how well the bust fits her. Scroll up one to see what sweetheart necklines normally look like on well-endowed stars.
Molly C. Quinn
Who knew funerals had cocktail parties now?
Is that a rosary around her neck?
Not Your Dress, dear. This is a lady who needs color in her clothing.
Naomi Watts in Alexander McQueen
Stunning, if perhaps a little overdressed for the event. If this is her People’s Choice Awards dress, what the hell is she going to wear to the Oscars?
Oh, Captain Tightpants. This is very disappointing. The suit’s too big, the shirt screams “mobster,” and the tie screams “wacky uncle.”
Hair’s a little cray.
Olivia Munn in Carolina Herrera
An underdone head and an overdone dress.
Rachael Leigh Cook in Oliver Tolentino
Very pretty. Fantastic color. Love the necklace.
Regina King in Badgley Mischka
Not a bad dress, but it’s slightly too tight in the bust. And the paint job on the toenails is tacky.
Robert Downey Jr.
Rumer Willis in Alice + Olivia
Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang
Love the dress, but the shoes are distracting.
We’re always disappointed when gorgeous people are uncomfortable in front of cameras. You’re gorgeous! Relax!
Suit’s boring and ill-fitted, though. Maybe that’s why he looks so tense.
[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/Emiley Schweich/PR Photos]