Heidi Klum in Jean Paul Gaultier on Jay Leno

Posted on January 25, 2013

Even when it’s not tight and short, Fraulein Heidi still manages to almost flash her hoo-ha.

 

Heidi Klum makes an appearance on ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ in a Jean Paul Gaultier dress accessorized with Versace booties.

Versace Lace-up Bootie

It’s kind of a shame (except for those who want a glimpse of her hoo-ha, we suppose), because if that dress wasn’t so sheer, this would be a really cute look. Love the witchy shoes.

She’s still got it, though. Might as well show that hoo-ha off while she can, we suppose. At least this is better than that horrifying thing she wore last night on Project Runway.  She looked like the manager of a Piercing Pagoda in that tacky thing.

Of course she had to get maximum use out of it:

Bless.

 

[Photo Credit: NBC, Barbara Nitke for Lifetime  - Video Credit: NBC]

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  • formerlyAnon

    Sweet Jesus.

    Very cute dress from the hips up.

    She’s got some kind of disconnect, or perhaps a unique sartorial world view that’s some sort of amalgam of life experiences & influences that no one else has had, apparently.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       Well, she certainly knows how to grab all the attention, no?
      Personally, I find that dress vulgar in the extreme.

      • formerlyAnon

         That would be because it IS vulgar in the extreme, and your judgement is sound.

      • StellaZafella

         ”Victoria’s got no secrets left to tell!”

      • Stubenville

        Showing the good china” as Peach would say.

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        It’s certainly not a sitting down dress, is it?  More of a standing dress, really.  Or even a walking dress — say, if one were walking the streets, perhaps at a certain hour of the evening.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           But not really a hooker dress either. Too much skirt to deal with.  (I know, I know, TMI)

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

             more like a hiding in the corner of the kitchen at the dinner party dress.

          • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

            One hesitates to speculate how you might know now much skirt is too much skirt for a hooker dress.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            I shall only say that I have a wide and various body of friends. (ahem)

          • formerlyAnon

             Tell the truth and shame the devil: you don’t “hesitate to speculate” AT ALL. Not for one little second, do you?  ;D

    • marilyn

       I think she has a cultural gap.  As many years as she has lived in the US, she is still a European at heart.  She apparently took the Euro-Trash trend of the ’80′s (or was it ’90′s?) to heart, and found her era there.  She is divorced, so she is doing The Divorcee, Euro-style.  She is happy, the clothes get her noticed for better or worse, and she does have a good figure.  This is just her way.  Just when you think she will never improve, she comes out in a totally tasteful look.  Maybe that is the day her stylist is sick and the substitute stylist is there.  No matter, she keeps us all interested.

      • formerlyAnon

         I think this makes sense. Because it makes no sense that she isn’t aware of how her choices fit into the spectrum of what beautiful, wealthy, 40-ish recently divorced women wear.

      • Call me Bee

        Agree…mostly. Honestly, though, I can’t remember the last time I saw Heidi in a totally tasteful outfit.

  • Judy_J

    I wonder what her kids think of her outfits.  “Oh, look.  Mommy’s flashing her hoo-ha again.”

    • formerlyAnon

       I was thinking “what does her mother think of these get ups?” Though I’m sure her mom (whom I assume is still alive) made her peace with Heidi’s s various life choices long ago. Or when she started producing grandchildren, as so often happens.

      • patticake1601

         wow.

        • formerlyAnon

           ”wow.”?

          Do I sound harsh? Don’t mean to be.

          I was That Daughter. (And I’ve noticed the phenomenon at work in other families.)

          The relationship grease that my kids provided was a wonderful thing.

          • patticake1601

             It did sound kind of judgmental but don’t mean to make you feel bad about it. But that’s how it came off, especially when you say “various life choices”.  She had one kid with a boyfriend then married Seal and had a gaggle of kids with him, I don’t see anything wrong there. 

            She is now divorced and apparently is a very sexual person and proud of her body and needs to show it off to all and sundry. I’m fine with her, she is gorgeous and does have a killer body, even more amazing knowing she had kids.
            ;-)

          • formerlyAnon

             Don’t worry, I didn’t feel bad!

            I used “various life choices” mostly to cover as much ground as possible – not to criticize anything in particular beyond my criticism of her dress. For all I know her mother struggles with the idea that her daughter lives and works thousands of miles away more than she does with the clothes she wears or her kids or relationships.

            I *do* think there’s nothing wrong with having fluid-to-the-situation rule-of-thumb type limits to what is “appropriate” to wear in what circumstances. Not at all because I want to perpetuate “slut shaming.”  Primarily because dress in public is always to some extent costume which society members use to draw conclusions about others. Having known boundaries makes it easier to navigate that – to meet the clothing equivalent of “community standards” or to flout them, and to know what conclusion the audience will draw.  That’s why, in my original comment, I said I felt like she has a disconnect. So many people here wonder why she dresses in a way we see as “tacky” when she has nothing obvious to gain from it because, I think, her view of what is tacky isn’t the same as some of ours.

            I also chafe at the fact that in most settings there is a very specific body that is “approved” for generous display, but bodies which deviate from the “killer body” parameters do not meet with such approval, but that’s a different discussion.

            I personally admire Ms. Klum because she’s obviously got good business sense and works hard at what she does. Very few women (or men – look at pro sports players) transition from being very successful in a job that (whatever else you also have to offer) depends on a youthful and genetically gifted body to equal or greater success in a subsequent career.

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      I doubt her kids are watching Jay Leno.  That’s tantamount to child abuse.

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    Someone should tell her they already made Basic Instinct 2.

  • teensmom99

    If it were lined, the dress would be great. Too much to hope for, I guess.

  • Jessi03

    Jesus Christ, Heidi.  Wtf is that?

  • unbornfawn

    Talk about attention whores……

  • alyce1213

    I saw this. I was embarrassed for her.  

    • MoHub

       I’m happy you were embarrassed for her as I don’t believe she herself is capable of embarrassment unless it means embarrassing her kids.

    • gsk241

       Me, too.  She’s selling herself (metaphorically) short if she thinks that all she has is her body.  Kinda pathetic, actually.

  • http://www.facebook.com/AntoniaDonnelly Antonia O’Connor Donnelly

    At first when I saw this photo from the waist up, I thought “wow, she looks lovely”,  then it went right to tacky town.  I love the boots!

  • Vickiefantastico

    Oh Heidi, I love your fun, quirky fashion awesomeness!

  • SRQkitten

    I don’t know this seems to be almost falling into that Halle-territory of “YES! I can look FIERCE and SEXY even if I am getting older.”

    Sometimes it just seems like its trying a bit too hard. Yes, we know you’re a Victoria’s Secret angel, blahblahblah, but when you do this stuff constantly, it does get a whiff of desperation.

    srq

    • 3boysful

       Like her jeans ad.  Cringe-worthy.

      • MilaXX

        I bet even Drew Barrymore is saying, “damn girl, stop trying so hard.”

        • Rand Ortega

           LOL! So. THIS! I was thinking, at least Drew was 20 & high when she flashed Letterman.

          • MilaXX

            Exactly, Heidi has no excuse.

    • formerlyAnon

       More than a whiff.

  • Alyssa

    How on earth did she think this would be a good dress for sitting down?! This could have been so great, if it were lined. I love the boots, her hair looks natural and is relaxed instead of sleeked back…the potential was here! Did no one tell her leaving some things to the imagination is good?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_LSGDWPRY6JLBPB43EO6MIAURZI what

       Her hair does look natural but that pitch black part creeps me out a little.

      • Alyssa

        Baby steps…I take what I can get when it comes to Heidi!

  • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

    I’m impressed with everyone who has been able to come up with comments for this. I just looked at the pictures, shaking my head and am speechless. There are no words to describe what I’m feeling re this outfit.

    • throwaneyeonthis

      The only word I come up with is, “why?”

      • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

         See, I was so dumbstruck I didn’t even come up with that.

  • kalisa

    Tacky. The look and the behavior. 

    • DTLAFamilies

      +1000

  • 3boysful

    There’s something–the center part?  the black eye makeup?–giving me whiff of Gwynnie here.  But I don’t think Ms Paltrow would wear this hooha dress.  It would be cute if lined, however.

  • MissMariRose

    This is just sad. If I were inclined to spare any pity for a multimillionaire supermodel, I’d be embarrassed for her. 

  • beebee10

    hidieous

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett

       Heidious?

      • 3boysful

         Bwahahahah!

      • Eclectic Mayhem

        Bethany you just won the internet!

      • Judy_J

        Congratulations, Bethany!  You have coined the perfect descriptor for the Heidi look.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bethany-Roullett/100000413803142 Bethany Roullett

           Hey, thanks!

  • snarkykitten

    The desperation is just rolling off her in waves

  • Annabelle Archer

    Jeezus, lady. Give. It. A. Rest. 

  • muelonil

    October 31, 2012
    Dear Diary,   
    Decided to be Cleopatra this year and save slutty witch costume for future Leno appearance. So glad I gave up undergarments a long time ago because this choice was tough enough.
    Love,
    Heidi 

  • http://twitter.com/PsychicMuppet Bitsy Carver

    This just looks really desperate.

  • m0r0

    No negative comment about the Witchy-poo booties? Surprised.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       As I have said many a time in my life, no matter how well you care for your body, Gravity Is Going To Win.

      • formerlyAnon

         So true. So sad. Yet, while life is still mostly good, so much better than the alternative.

  • Little_Olive

    Oh Heidi, you are leaving us no choice but to “OfCourse” you. 

    • sojourneryouth

       So true!  It’s becoming de riguer for her to wear something  with very little dignity lately.  While it does grab attention, certainly, what kind of attention, and from whom?  I have a slightly older divorced friend who is still very much a babe doing this right now, and she’s lamenting that only attracts shallow jerks.  The connection.  She hasn’t made it.

  • Claudia Fernandes

    the witchy booties reminds me of donald duck’s grandmother shoes

    • Karen Maslowski

      They look like foot corsets to me.

      And I wonder if she punctured Jay’s guest chair with the heels. He did look!

    • kimmeister

      They look like kinky ice skates.

  • Rand Ortega

    I’d rather watch Seal’s shit eatin’ grin at this pathetic display.

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    I hated this dress when I saw it on Leno. And the SHOES?! They’re atrocious. 

  • SugarSnap108

    Sad.  All I can see is a woman so terrified of getting older that all she can do is show off her bits and jump on furniture to show us how very youthful she still is.  The irony is that the undergarments she refuses to wear would actually lift and de-age her … droopy parts.

  • elemspbee

    oh my. pretty face though, and body of course. but that dress, ayayay.

  • MilaXX

    Make it in white and JLo would cut a bitch for it.

    • random_poster

      Brilliant!

  • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

    Cheap.  I love how he totally instinctively backed away from her when she got up to assault his table.  He may as well have yelled “BACK AWAY EVIL SUCCUBUS!!!!” and made the cross.

    • formerlyAnon

       Hahahaha!

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    I like her hair. I wore boots like that when I was going through my The Craft phase. Everything else is misguided.

  • jw_ny

    so tacky! 

    I’m all for having fun…but that dress, that dance…yes, bless…

    smh!

  • B_C_J

    Oh my!! She is a beautiful woman but is doing herself a tremendous disfavor wearing something as tasteless as this outfit. The shoes just add to the atrociousness of the total look. I am horrified that someone in the fashion industry would lack the discernment to walk away from this gown when it was presented to her.

  • EEKstl

    WTF??? Just…WTF???  If the skirt were solid she would have sold me.

  • TSkot

    Isn’t “hoo-ha” slang for vagina?  While this was tacky as shit, the only thing exposed was too much thigh and ass, right?

    • random_poster

      Now you’re just splitting h-….oh, never mind.

    • BrooklynBomber

      I’d say in this case “hoo-ha” is slang for poor taste, which is amply on display.

    • ecallaw1977

       Methinks you are taking TLo a bit too literally…

    • alyce1213

      It was a different view when she crossed her legs.

    • RebeccaKW

       Well, if you look at the 2 pics of her sitting down taken from more of a front view, you can see both upper thighs as they meet near the hoo-hah.  If she had tried a bit harder, the hoo-hah probably could get flashed during a crossing/uncrossing moment.  And they do say ‘almost’ flash it in the post.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexandra-Glorioso/10025811 Alexandra Glorioso

    Break ups do strange things to people.

  • stubbornthoughts

    I’d like to take a moment of silence for this dress and what it could’ve been before it’s time was abruptly cut short when it got sheered.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Her hair looks fantastic though.

  • appliquer

    Tacky.

  • mmc2315

    Not tasteful, that’s for sure.  She is a beauty though, isn’t she?

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Only Hiedi, right?  SMH.  Love her anyway.

  • BrooklynBomber

    oh, my god. that’s awful.

  • Stubenville

    Won’t you take me to couuuuugar town?  sung to the tune of Funkytown

    • dress_up_doll

      Now I have a major earworm going on!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Oh lord. Girl is losing her mind. Yes, she still looks great, but I find her a lot more attractive when she’s not putting it all out there.

    Crap. I’m turning into my mother. 

  • altalinda

    Oh for crying out loud.

  • Kristina Toma

    In that second image, her expression seems to say, “Are you ready to see my hoo-ha?!”

  • librarygrrl64

    This is sadlarious (sad + hilarious). I agree that a less sheer version would be pretty, but, thing is, even with the sheerness, it could have been kind of cute with a colored slip/crinoline under it. But, as is, super tacky and desperate. 

  • Tamara Hogan

    Heidi is seriously having a midlife crisis. 

  • ampg

    The best part is that it wouldn’t have been too horrible if she had just crossed her legs left over right, but no, she had to go out of her way to get that camera as close to the good china as possible.

  • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

    Dear. God. No. To. Infinity.

  • mhleta

    Whatever she did to her face on the hiatus looks marvelous. Her eyes look brighter and she doesn’t have that “My marriage just ended and my children are sucking the youth out of every cell of my body” look to her anymore. HOWEVER, sometimes my single 53-year old sister goes to parties thrown by people much younger than her wearing mini-dresses and outrageous boots and drinks too much and hates herself in the morning and I cringe for her as I view the evidence on facebook. Heidi’s outfits are inducing the same level of cringing in my soul. “She looked like the manager of a Piercing Pagoda in that tacky thing.” Yeah, that too. 

  • l_c_ann

    I’m sure Mrs. Leno is now rethinking the wisdom at having their neighbor, Heidi, over for drinks. 

    Every season, Heidi goes on Tonight Show to do her pole dance, but just never got this close to the real thing.

  • http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Krysta

    Frau Heidi is working her way towards meriting “Of course” just as much as Lea M . . . 

  • j_anson

    Oh lordy.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DNWEFT2SVBX5T3NPMROQCT4U2U jennyv

    Sigh. Oh Heidi. At least her hair and face look great.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Oh, ffs.

  • Laurie Bergman

    Wow…a dress that comes complete with its very own spider veins! (However, I’m loving those boots.)

  • Scarlet39

    Taste issues

  • warnerave

    of course…

  • decormaven

    May the ghost of Johnny Carson whack this gnome on her noggin. She’s going for bewitching, and ends up twitching.

  • http://twitter.com/wonderdivaEtsy wonderdivaEtsy

    What the crap? That is all I could think when I saw that dress.

    Love your Piercing Pagoda comment!  You guys are tossing out killer one-liners today!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    YES HEIDI, we GET it!!  You’re genetically blessed and will look better than 99% of us when you’re eighty!  Why must you constantly shove that in our faces?  She only gets more annoying as time passes.  And those Witchy-Poo shoes are fug-ugly..

  • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

    That is not a sitting down dress. Or a standing up dress. 

    • Stubenville

      Or a wear-out-of-the-house dress.

  • poggi

    It is certainly vulgar to echo other BKs.  But I also find the black spider vein embellishment on her thighs and hips a bit creepy.  Also I am not sure that sheer haunch panels are particularly attractive on anyone.

  • MzzPants

    Face.  Palm.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    I can’t…I just…I’m….*blink blink*

  • SassieCassy

    listen after a divorce and a bunch of kids if you got it then FLAUNT IT

  • guest2visits

    How overjoyed is she with being able to wear something like this for all of America! (since it’s not a daytime show, or a shampoo
    commercial)  It’s like she got the big shiny star on the top of her homework!

  • margaret meyers

    Witchy Poo was on Leno?

  • Modeniete

    Someone mentioned in the comments last night that they had forgotten how annoying her voice can be after weeks of listening to the apparently sopofiric Carolyn Murphy (whose voice I have actually never heard, because I have been “watching” only the TLo channel for several seasons now). For the record, Heidi sounds even more grating in German on Germany’s Next Top Model.

    There’s a word in German for this sound: “quietschen.”  It’s pronounced kind of like “kveechen.” It’s kind of onomatopoetic.  I think in an extended sense it also onomatopoetically describes both how she dresses as well as how she behaves (as least in the embedded video).

    Good grief.

  • Trisha26

    Horrendous.

  • boweryboy

    Words escape me.

  • libraangel

    HEIDI- repeat: I am not 20 years old anymore. I will not wear too short, too tight, too revealing clothes anymore. I am the mother of 4 children and will try to look more respectable – INSTEAD OF A SLUT!

  • bertkeeter

    I swear to GOD…she did the same thing at Harvey Weinsteins Goledn Globe Party…dancing on a table top…I have the video. Heidi looks truly AMAZING! HOT!

    • formerlyAnon

       Keep doling out these little peeks into that party! It’s fun to hear things from someone who was actually in the room.

  • quiltrx

    I love the shoes (I bet HBC has a pair), and I love the dress…from the waist up.  Below, it goes right into vulgar trash town.

    As hubby and I find ourselves too-often saying (and we’re childless-by-choice, mind you)–”FOR FUCK’S SAKE, you’re someone’s MOTHER.  Act like it!!”

  • Peeve

    Apparently she’s learned very little from 11 seasons of PR!

  • UglyTalents

    Never change, Heidi!

  • Zippypie

    Heidi, honey, you’ve crossed that line from sexy to pathetic.

    Love the shoes though.

  • ccm800

    Shes having more fun than all of us combined and can wear what ever the hell she wants because of it  :)  Never change

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    I don’t like it much, but I do love it on her. She’s Das KLUM, fergunnesssakes! She rocks no matter what.

  • barbarienne

    Ironically, if the skirt were tighter, her hoo-hah would be more shielded.

  • kikisayshi

    I’m sure Ms. Heidi knows exactly what she’s showing here, but this certainly is NOT a sit-down dress. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/rosatcollege Ros Clarke

    That is not a sitting down dress. That is a walking with a swirl to show an occasional glimpse dress.

    Tacky, tacky, tacky, Ms Klum.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/47S737MGWCAZEZ73QOAFKDFEKQ Jill

    Heidi has no taste at all.  In addition to being ugly, this dress is aging her to the extreme. She looks ridiculous.

  • http://www.tipsfornaturalbeauty.com/ Dima Al Mahsiri

    What is that ?!