Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Jennifer Lawrence in Valentino Couture

Posted on January 10, 2013

Oh, GURL.

 

Jennifer Lawrence attends People’s Choice Awards 2013 in a Valentino couture dress paired with Nicholas Kirkwood diamond-encrusted black satin pumps, and Cartier jewelry.

Valentino Fall 2012 Couture Collection/Model: Fei Fei Sun (ELITE)


Cartier Caresse D’Orchidées Ring

Cartier Onyx and Diamond Drop Earrings

Nicholas Kirkwood Satin Pumps with Bejewelled Platform

Our minds, they are boggled.

Of all the various mistakes made by various types of celebrities on the red carpet, “young woman who dresses 40 years older” will probably always be the most puzzling to us. There’s a common belief about drag queens that they tend to dress like the women in their mothers’ generation but since that’s no longer as true as it once was, it seems to have migrated over to the starlet contingent. Seriously, this looks like something Shirley MacLaine would’ve worn for a TV special in the ’70s.

Jennifer, you’re 22 years old and hot as shit. Time to start dressing like the babe you are. Leave the “Hollywood Legend” drag to the actual legends, mkay?

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, style.com, cartier.com, farfetch.com]

    • kipper

      OMG, my very first thought was ” is this an homage to Shirley MacLaine ” – We need to find out if she did wear something very close.. and it is just horrible, all around.. and today of all days….

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

        You know, I tried to look for something similar, but nearly every picture I found of Shirley had more sex appeal than this shiny sack.

    • Kathy_Marlow

      I don’t mind the top, but the bottom makes her look wide.  If that had been a straight skirt and shorter, we’d have been in business…maybe…

    • Vanja

      That should be nobody’s dress. 

      • TheDivineMissAnn

         Ugh!  How right you are!  The dress give her Michael Phelps size shoulders. 

        The earrings are. to. die.

    • butterflysunita

      When even the model looks awful in it, it’s not anyone’s dress.  

    • Patricia Gillett

      For my fellow bitter kittens of a certain age: Marilyn McCoo on Solld Gold circa 1982.

      Now try to un-see it.

      • Introspective

        OMG I LOVED ME SOME MARILYN

        (but i do not love this dress.)that is all. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

        Yep. That’s some McCoo Jenny’s got going on. 

      • Courtney St. Julian

        More like Marilyn McCoo-Coo. However, the accessories are amazing.

      • editrixie

        How did you DO that?

        • Patricia Gillett

          It’s a gift! :)

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      Crikey. It is an Evening with Eartha Kitt.

    • Sobaika

      Honey, you’re an Oscar nominee – again! You can do better.

      • AthenaJ

        Apparently she has no gays – or she does and for some reason they do NOT like her.

    • Violina23

      I’m not sure that’s *anyone’s* dress…. yick!

      • cooperalden

        Why does Hollywwod keep on taking a pleasant looking, girls next door types and insist on making them Glamour Girls?  Liz Taylor and Audrey Hepburn were born that way.  Why must they make every regular girl fromt the  Homingcoming Court be turned into A PR  agents wet dream with a Gucci tie-in?  She would be fine in a regular old dress from Macy’s.

    • sweet_potato

      Why is she wearing a dress from the original “Dynasty” series???  

      • GorgeousThings

        Zactly! I was thinking this is pure Alexis Carrington, circa 1986

        • BrooklynBomber

          Ha! Should’a read this before I posted mine.

      • schadenfreudelicious

        perfect for throwing Crystall in the pool!

    • http://twitter.com/holocausticity E. Sevilla

      genie hooker bath towel thing called a dress, that thing.

    • http://heartprintandstyle.com/ Vivi N

      This is so an 80s dress! Oh. My. Word. It should be transported back into that era. Did she just randomly enter a vintage store and pick this bad boy up? I refuse to believe that this dress was made in 2012. I refuse.

    • allaboutthewalterbenjamins

      I welcome every excuse to see Fei Fei.

      • Kimbolina

        But man does she look pissed to be wearing that.

    • SewingSiren

      Uh, no. The dress came from the classy section in the Salvation Army, where the original store sticker is still on the dress along with the orange sticker with the Sally price. The shoes are from Solo Serve.

    • http://fafafab.tumblr.com/ fafafab

      Oscar Nomenee: Jennifer Lawrence

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1447060898 Lori Wade Miller

      LOVE the jewelry, but yeah, that dress was worn to a disco in the 70s.  I don’t necessarily like those bandage dresses, but if anyone was built to wear them, she is. 
       

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

      She would look amazing in the Pucci dress that Emily Blunt was wearing. I don’t get this fuckery. 

    • Candigirl1968

      She is a great actress, because I would NOT be smiling if someone had me wear an outfit like that.  Very unfortunate.

    • decormaven

      “Look! I found my Grandma’s dress at Goodwill on the way back from the community pool!” The only thing salvagable from this monstrosity is the ring. The tacky, cheap bling pasted on the bottom of the pumps is beyond hiddy.

      • Judy_S

         You know, I would cut her some slack if it WAS from Goodwill or Grandma. It’s that it’s from Valentino’s recent collection that horrifies me. The designer should be drowned first.
        Maybe the pump bling is supposed to ironize the whole thing.

    • Nicholas

      What in the everlasting fuck?

    • Scarlet39

      It’s not just that it’s too mature a look for her, it’s also that it makes her look huge

    • http://twitter.com/Nancer Nancer

      This dress could be rescued… do just a simple aline, get rid of the waist band and that horrendous slit/curtain effect, keep it nice and short – and voila! It would work. Love the shoes and earrings, but put it all together and this is very Dallas (old school) without the shoulder pads…

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I actually gasped out loud at the sight of this tragedy.  it hits her in every single wrong place, emphasizes every wrong proportion.  I has a sad for her. 

      • MilaXX

         and why can’t someone style her hair? I can barely recall any RC appearances where her hair looked good.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Maybe she STILL doesn’t have any gays. 

    • miagain

      oh dear…
      I just love your expression…. “girl, that’s not your dress, that’s another girl’s dress”!  I have employed it countless times in dressing rooms, and instead of getting depressed, it makes me laugh.  You probably didn’t originate the expression, but as far as I know (or care)… you OWN it, and I USE it!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

      1.  I loved her Vanity Fair cover/article so much, that I will give her a pass on this look, with the caveat that it must never happen again.  2.  Those are some serious drag queen shoes (though any self-respecting drag queen would START with this shoe, then pave the satin with rhinestones, and paint the inside of the heel red).

    • AceOn6

      Not a fan of the “hurried to tie my bathrobe and got the fabric caught” look. From far away, those shoes look like platform espadrilles. No, no, and no.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      She looks so uncomfortable in red carpet dresses. And *this* dress. *shudder* Good lord. Burn it. Burn it with fire. Along with the shoes. 

      • Qitkat

        Catching Fire?
        ;-)

    • Jadine Wilson

      I would love to see what Kelly Rowland or Solange would do with this dress. I think it could be fabulous with huge fabulous curls.

    • vandeventer

      Wow…whoever is dressing her *really* hates her

    • http://www.facebook.com/AdriannaGrezak Adrianna Grężak

      I really don’t think it’s that bad. It’s not great, but maybe she got tired of flashing her cleavage? That waist style and sleeve cut is really popular in mainstream fashion now, so I’m not surprised she translated it to something shiny. To paraphrase Stacy London, a 24 year old won’t look like an old lady wearing more mature clothes because.. she’s.. 24. 

      • MilaXX

         But she will look like she raided mommy’s closet.  The dolman sleeves are back in style, but the body type like Jen still need to stay away because it gives them linebacker shoulders. The illusion netting just further dates the look & the pickup on the one side is just silly & only works on the runaway.

      • Jill Roberts

        Totally.  I think it’s fun and she doesn’t look mature because she’s young and gorgeous.

    • Annabelle Archer

      It’s so tragic!
      If she wanted a throwback feel, this was not the way to do it. 
      I is sad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=49702581 Susan Bullard Mayer

      Just say no to dolman sleeves!

    • MarTeaNi

      True story: last night I couldn’t sleep and watched a bunch of Golden Girls reruns.  That style sleeve/top was literally EVERYTHING Bea Arthur wore for 4 episodes.

    • MoHub

      I ran out of fingers to count how many things were wrong with this look.

    • lalahartma

      Is it anyone’s dress?

    • http://twitter.com/lisledanielle Danielle Lisle

      I have quibbles with it all, but I love her for giggling last night and claiming to have sweat all over RDJ.

    • MilaXX

      That’s exactly what I thought, the dress is too old for her. It looks like Shirley or Liza in the 70’s trying to prove they an still kick their legs up and dance.

    • http://twitter.com/phd_tv Heather B.

      It always boggles my mind that she’s only 22 years old. She never ever looks it.

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      Only Liza should ever wear this dress.  Only her.

      • formerlyAnon

         Not that her body would be flattered by it, either. But she’d know how to accessorize and fix her hair and make up so that it would show off her legs, and the wearer would out-shine and out-glitz the dress.

    • E. D.

      The earrings are cute.  The rest of it (including the MA) needs to be shot into the center of the sun, never to be seen again.

      • l_c_ann

        I’ll give a good home to the salvaged diamonds.

    • savicevic

      Hair and makeup look great, though.

    • Le_Sigh

      Oh noooonononono – she looks like a cocktail waitress in a high-end Vegas cocktail bar.  

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

         in Hell.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      This is the outfit from matchy-matchy HELL.

    • formerlyAnon

      Nice jewelry.

      Can’t say that the neckline/sleeves of that dress are going to do anyone any favors – it’s going to look like a cross between a tank and a gaudy sofa no matter what. The older contingent might wear this because it’s a little bit different way of providing full coverage – but it’s not like it’s going to flatter them, either. 

    • Judy_J

      I was thinking this dress looked more like something Catherine O’Hara would have worn as “Lola Heatherton” in a SCTV skit.  And again with the poorly fitted shoes!  I just don’t see how those women can walk in shoes that are a size too big.

    • Maluca

      Is she styled by Rachel Zoe still? She made a lot of home runs during that partnership. If she still is, that team is smoking crack. If not, she needs to fire her current team. 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

      Wow…I was tivo’ing thru the mess that show was (the awards were announced oddly, and the poor actors from Big Bang were on the front row, etc) when this show stopped dead with this dress. I immediately thought “God I hope the fashion gods known as T’lo are watching this- if not, how do I email their highnessess on high?)

      if 20 Liza impersonators got put into a blender, distilled and then…I don’t know. maybe to a funeral/cocktail party?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2066192 Melissa Mellon

      Yes! I’m convinced that most of these starlets don’t know the period-specific pieces they are referencing. Certain choices of attire should require a training video–containing hours and hours of 70s and 80s TV shows. 

    • MissMariRose

      I keep meaning to write something about the dress but I can’t get past how gorgeous those earrings are and how much I need to own them right now. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

      Sharon Needles could make this dress work.  Of course, she’d put a giant disco ball on her head and carry a mirrored platter of white powder to serve up some Studio 54 Realness.

    • Carrieanno

      She’s young; she’s getting it out of her system before the really big nights.

    • Kayceed

      You guys, I love the ’80s dolman-sleeve, Dynasty-sequined-ness of this, I really do. If the skirt fell slim and straight to the floor, with a side slit all the way up one leg, I would be in heaven.

    • mhleta

      Give her some home-kit highlights, self tanner and a set of bedazzled nail extensions and she’s Queen Mother of the Gypsy Brides. This is just so unspeakably awful.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

      like the shoes though…maybe w/black skinny jeans.

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      That isn’t anyone’s dress. 

    • Lilak

      One glaring error of youth:  Matching every single item in the look.  Silvery? Check. Sparkly? Check. Shiny black? Check.
      Especially wrong when each piece is pretty complicated on its own.
      (If a stylist is responsible for this … gah!)

    • crash1212

      Honey, that ain’t nobody’s dress. One of the most unflattering combo of cut and textile out there in the world. Love the jewelry but not with this. Hate those shoes. Actually, I’m totally hating all shoes with a metallic or jeweled platform – blech.

    • BrooklynBomber

      It would be tragic if she didn’t look so goofy. Big ol’ smile, turned in foot (and diamonds on the soles of her shoes!), Mommys eye liner, bare legs. She looks like a cute kid dressed as Joan Collins for Halloween.

    • DaringMiss

      “And here is Jennifer Lawrence as our special guest Solid Gold Dancer!”

    • StellaZafella

       Actually, it could be like something she wore at the Plush Room in Atlanta in ’84 (I was doing the 8PM Noel Coward revue). The differences: It went to the floor, was slit to the hip and the silver neckline plunged past the sternum, no netting…she held it in place with sheer willpower and Eartha Style… at 60+ the woman never met a gown she couldn’t make men faint at the sight of.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        My parents saw her during her last tour of Australia, which was in the late 90s I seem to remember. Even then my stepfather drooled and my mother (more articulately) said she was the sexiest woman in the world.

    • altalinda

      Yes, I remember being that age and wanting to look older.  What a fool I was.  Whoever coined the phrase, “Youth is wasted on the young” was so right.

    • Qitkat

      Honey, someday you may have batwings of your very own, please don’t wear them early on purpose.

    • bluefish

      I can’t believe this is a Valentino because it’s just awful.  The shoes are awful.  Her hair and pose are awful.  The earrings are very nice.  What on earth happened?  Epic fail.

    • marilyn

      This isn’t anybody’s dress.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Harris/1358701372 Linda Harris

        I agree

    • Janet B

      Gorgeous jewelry.

      The dress belongs to another woman in another century.

    • girliecue

      That cheesy draped slit is like a portal to the late 70s.

    • kimmeister

      The jewelry is beautiful, but that’s it.  The shoes, from far away, look like she’s standing on steel wool.  The dress looks like it must weight a thousand pounds.

    • DominoEstella

      I like it.  This is a very on trend look whether you like it or not.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/aboutelle Ashleigh Boutelle

      In England it was pronounced DIN-asty (rather than DIE-nsty)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Samuel-Hawk/522821430 Samuel Hawk

      It was even unflattering on the model. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/darva.sutra Darva Sutra

      Not anyone’s dress, but those sure are MY earrings!  Cartier, sigh.

    • jw_ny

      Puzzling how Valentino could think this design should be produced.  Nothing attractive or redeeming at all about it.  Obviously Jennifer has no taste either.  

      • http://twitter.com/SharonAJJ Sharon Jessup Joyce

        So true. It’s just a weird and hideous dress. And the gorgeous earrings and ring get lost in the overblown sparkle and excess of the dress and shoes. Not to mention that “longest of my hair messily semi-up so it doesn’t dip in the toilet while I clean the bathroom” nonhairstyle.

        • jw_ny

           hahaha!  toilet cleaning hair!

    • Jenna621

      I do love her shoes though.  LOVE.

    • Super_Red

      What is up with Valentino looking like total ass on young starlets today? Seriously. And it’s not just the dress- her makeup has been super aging as well. Ridiculous. 

    • Stubenville

      I can’t get beyond the wonky caught-in-her-panties hem. Why would anyone who was not disfigured want to call attention away from their face?

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/YO6OMZ6UVUMIARUMEHV6RUK2A4 Shaylea

      Awful!!!  Worst of the year and we are only 10 days in!

    • RoxieRider

      Oh my gosh,I totally love it! I’m surprised everyone dislikes it so. I could do without the little curtain-rising-over-my-thigh bit (reminds me of the trick performed by the Lady of the Evening in The Unsinkable Molly Brown [see it at around 3:40 here, if you’re not familiar with this Debbie Reynolds gem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRcWMHhxig8), but I think it’s fun and silly and adorable.  

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Give me the jewelry and the shoes and let’s never speak of this again.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

      Jewelry and shoes are to die for.

    • http://twitter.com/steeenie Christine Hart

      Dress is eh – but her makeup is great. 

    • Louise Bryan

      I have to say, it looked better on my mobile phone.  Size really does matter.

    • RocknRollmom

      What the heck is with Valentino?  This is a crime against women.  Here you have two examples of lovely young women who are both made to look horrible because of this god-awful dress.  Shame on Valentino and on who ever chose this for Jennifer.  On the upside, her makeup/face looks pretty, the jewelry is gorgeous (and I don’t even like big flowery cocktail rings) and if one could slice off those stupid rhinestone balls from the bottom, that would be a great evening pump.  Time for Jennifer to find a new stylist for her second Oscars! 

    • http://twitter.com/kbshee kbshee

      Eydie Gormet is back. 
       

    • dorothea_brooke

      Golly.

      Dear Jennifer:  you have an amazing, amazing body. I saw “Silver Linings Playbook” – your waist is to die, your ass, incredible.  I would hurt people for your breasts.  When you are old you will look back at this picture and weep.  Weep, I tell you.  Now, go fire your stylist.  Love, me.  

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      Diamond on the soles of her shoes! The jewels are to die, that ring! Those earrings! This is not a busty girl’s dress, this is for…like, Julianne Moore. In ten years. Jen, you can be both comfy and hot with that hourglass. Call me, I will share my secrets. No Dolman sleeves allowed.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PVIY3NBCZJAJNFWDBCWG2DMKL4 Jen R

      This dress was definitely NOT the People’s Choice.

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Is there such a thing as a ‘Gay Grunt’? Cos I think I just made one.

    • zelavie

      When I saw this, I thought “Cybil Shepard, circa Moonlighting.”

      • OrigamiRose

        Yes, that dress she wore on the cover of TV Guide (that Samantha later wore in Sex and the City).  That’s it!

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      This is glorious.  It’s like drag queens discovered how to make crack rocks from rhinestones.

    • nerdykitten

      I don’t think this is anyone’s dress. LOVE the shoes though.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

      Talk about “diamonds on the soles-er, toes of her shoes”….

    • nerdykitten

      I don’t think this is anyone’s dress honestly…the construction is just too… baggy, sloughy, and the fabric is so heavy that where it should drape nicely it just looks bulky. LOVE the shoes though.

    • libraangel

      I will bow to you, great amazon princess from planet Lawrence!

    • http://twitter.com/BigBearSpeaks Big Bear

      Alexis Carrington called.  She wants her curtains back.

    • silaria

      I actuallu quite like the dress (anything black with sparkles tends to get my approval, I like the night sky theme) but man, I’m still laughing about the shoes. XD

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I would cut someone for those earrings, they are just gorgeous.  She, however, is channeling Cher (before she went all Mackie-crazy), who NEVER, EVER let the thought “that’s too much sparkle for one outfit” cross her mind.

    • Dani

      at least the makeup looks good

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      i would have bought it from the waist up, albeit she’d still look way old, but that skirt would flatter no one.  i shudder to think of an aging star wearing it.  LUSTLUSTLUST for the earrings, and the shoes ain’t bad either.   “she’s got diamonds on the soles of her shoes….”

    • guest2visits

      Like everyone; I think it looks like a salvaged garment from a consignment shop.  Something ancient that’s been hacked short.
      Bad hair, dated earrings, and shoes that belong with something else.

    • http://twitter.com/watchinginkdry Krysta

      OMG those are horrifyingly tacky shoes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/shreya.aren Shreya Aren

      She knows she looks bad. That’s not the smile from someone who thinks they look good. I can’t believe this is the same person who wore the red Calvin Klein dress.

    • barbarienne

      Yikes.

      You can tell she’s not feeling it, either. Poor thing.

    • capybara_cafe

      That dress looks like it came from the wardrobe of the Golden Girls. I don’t think it’s ANYONE’s dress, unless it’s 1987 and they’re over 60.

    • bd73

      solid gold.

    • neofashionista

      Give Liza Manelli her Dress back Jennifer

    • AthenaJ

      I don’t know why, but the upper half of this dress makes me think of Delta Burke.

    • Rroxy

      That’s exactly what I thought when I saw the People’s Choice Awards: old lady dress. It might look good on Jane Fonda… then again, I’m not so sure. Hideous dress, hideous hem. I wish they would invent something to replace that sorry netting. It’s been around forever, and it remains awful.

    • lilazander

      She looks very weird with this fake smile… What the hell happened to her?