Zachary Quinto in John Varvatos

Posted on December 04, 2012

Zachary, Tom would like to have a word with you. Lorenzo is mannequin-sized, so he’s going to sit down and shut up.

 

Zachary Quinto attends The Trevor Project’s 2012 Trevor Live! event in John Varvatos.

John Varvatos Spring 2013 Collection

You see, Zachary, men like us – large and shaped roughly like a brick – we can’t really get away with certain styles; especially certain slim-cut styles that look wonderful on tiny little bite-sized models. You, Zachary, are lovely in many ways, but not in the way that allows you to wear a jacket cut like this without looking like a 12-year-old who shot up faster than his mother could get him to the department store to get fitted for new clothes; new clothes which you will then outgrow in another 6 months when you have another growth spurt, causing your mother to start drinking and declaring that you’ll wear that damn jacket and LIKE IT because she’s not spending any more money on clothes with an expiration date shorter than the average tub of cottage cheese.

Whoa. We seem to have gone off on a little tangent, haven’t we? The point is, at some point, you, Zachary, are going to have to realize the limitations imposed on you by nature. But hey, you’re tall and naturally broad-shouldered. Console yourself with that. Now go home and find something that fits.

Also, your pants are too long, no doubt because your mom didn’t want to get them hemmed if you’re just going to outgrow them in 3 months.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, style.com]

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  • MilaXX

    Sheesh, that’s not his suit. He looks like an extra from the local production of Guy and Dolls.

    • Rand Ortega

       He’s listed in the cast as “Nathan Detroit Toady”.

  • DeborahJozayt

    I just remember one summer when my brother grew 3 shoe sizes, 1 shoe size each for June, July, and August. I think my mom gave up in August and told him to go barefoot. 

    • Melvis Velour

      Same thing happened to me – shot up from 5’6″ to 6’2″ in one summer and thankfully, went barefoot all summer as I went from a size 9 to a size 12 as well.  When I got back to school, no one knew who I was and yes, it was incredibly painful.

      • DeborahJozayt

        Like physically painful? or emotionally painful? I’d think it be awesome to come back to the same school and be anonymous like, mess around with people’s heads. 

        • Melvis Velour

          It was a combination of both – shooting up 6″ in a short period is excruciating on bones, joints, muscles and you’re always trying to figure out how your body works as everything is constantly changing.  My Dad told me that he could actually see me growing like bamboo.

          From an emotional standpoint, kids are incredibly cruel…especially when people think you’ve been held back as you’re more mature than the other kids even though I was actually a year ahead in school of my age group.

          Oh well, che serre, serre…

  • MrsMaxPower

    Dumb question here…Quinto’s pants seem to the same length as the model. Is that a deliberate styling “look” from the designer or no? 

    I know that is not the smartest question ever, but I have 5 older brothers and I’m used to them looking exactly like ZQ when they dressed up, so I have to get my guy style directives from TLo and the kittens.

    • http://twitter.com/marieldrucker Marie Drucker

       Maybe because the model is wearing sneakers? T & Lo have told us hem lengths are different with different shoes.
      I have a 17-year-old son who is has been over 6′ tall for several years and built, yes, like a brick. He would be embarrassed wearing his little (and thin) brother’s jacket.

      • H3ff

        “T & Lo have told us hem lengths are different with different shoes.”
        Jesus. The bitter kittens now sound like they’re part of a sect. You can develop and follow your own style, you know.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GFMOZFM3WT3T56EZHVZFK7UXSI Ramon

    I adore him, but he looks ridiculous. At least it forces me to picture out of the clothes, which is never a bad way to put a little pep into a dull afternoon. And love the narrative guys. It is worthy of Mommie Dearest.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XPWSQ2BDU5XJIA23AMYVBRWZBA Eric

    That just isn’t right. It looks “Cute” and “Gay” but not in good ways. 

  • Luke Pacheco

    Biggest problem is that he buttoned the second button… 

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/XPWSQ2BDU5XJIA23AMYVBRWZBA Eric

      Traditionally you should wear this sort of button configuration with all the buttons buttoned when you are standing up. Even with the 4 closing on 1 style (very 1980′s) the closing button was the lower right. Yet another designer messing with a classic design without adding an improvement.

  • Kayceed

    Like the ease of the suit on the model, but not the sloped shoulders.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NZUG2X5JTQ7C6RNYMLAM3F64TU Thomas R

    I used to live next door to this guy – he’s a total douchebag so his attire reflects that.

  • Matt Bailer

    He should head on over to the Pawnee branch of Rent-A-Swag.

    • YourLibrarian

      That was exactly my first thought!

    • http://pleasewelcomeyourjudges.com/ Brian @ PWYJudges

      Yes!

  • mjude

    love this post…LOL  i will forgive him cause he is such a cutie, but seriously darling zach listen to your gay uncles.

  • hmariec19

    I may be alone in this, but I hate when the top of the glasses frames are at or above eyebrow height.  I know those are the style now, but it looks like he has a unibrow.

    • Tatiana Luján

      you are not alone.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/XPWSQ2BDU5XJIA23AMYVBRWZBA Eric

         I think that he probably did have a unibrow.

        • littlemissstrange

           SEXBROW. That is what unibrow is called when it belongs to ZQ.

    • e jerry powell

       Did you see him on Conan the other night?  Quinto has the eyebrows of a serial killer.

    • Alessia M

      i am a lady with a strong brow, and i hate this too! both on myself and on the gentlemen. but it’s tough to get glasses that aren’t dated looking and still give a definitive difference between frame and brows.

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

         Except he’s clearly TRYING to look “dated.” Hipster fashion victim.

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

       It’s just creepy. With those eyebrows he’ll need much lower frames, but it’s not like they don’t make them, and he could still rock the nerdy fifties look he’s going for.

  • kirkyo

    I’m just going to keep looking at the head shot and ignore everything else.

  • Qitkat

    Oh Tom, LOL!
    Who knew you could channel mothers everywhere so well?

    • ankali

      So funny. I love it when T, Lo, or both use this platform to work out some of their own adorable issues.

    • Kristin McNamara

      They do paint quite a picture, eh?

  • shanna bowie

    This is the best. He should’ve used Rent-A-Swag! 

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    I just realized that Zachary Quinto looks a lot like one of my old boyfriends. The glasses drove it home. Now I feel sad when I look at him, when I used to just get eye-hearts. Dammit. 

    That jacket is comically ill-fitted. Almost the Heidi of menswear: short’n'tight, just missing the shiny. 

  • lundibleu

    Good lord, that’s bad. The fit of the jacket looks dodgy on the model, let alone on someone normal sized. Also, so over hipster glasses. Bleh.

  • AtticWife

    I mean, rationally I know it isn’t, but it looks like one of those ironic double-breasted sweatshirt-material cardigans? I.e., atrocious. Yikes.

    • Sara__B

      It looks like a knit to me, too.  A knit double-breasted jacket is even harder to pull off than a woven one. Definitely best left to the slender non-bricks.

      • e jerry powell

         Those dudes look like the stickmen from Blair Witch Project.

    • tereliz

      No, I think rationally, it might be an ironic double-breasted sweatshirt material “jacket”. Double yikes. 

      • AtticWife

        SWEET JEEBUS.

  • Tatiana Luján

    I hate it when frames go above the eyebrows. Please, wear some glasses that fit your face.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Last week I was flipping through the channels and found him in an episode of “Touched by an Angel” … he was a teenaged cutie.

  • StellaZafella

    Zachary (may I call you Zachary?), you are a handsome man, and I think it’s cute if you really want to go for the “nerd with glasses” look sometimes…it certainly defines you as other than the young Spock. However: Your glasses, while an appropriate horn-rim frame, are ill-fitted to your face. The bridge should be wider allowing the top of the frame to sit (at least) across, if not slightly below your gorgeous brows. Someone may have (wrongly) told you that it works for the frame to cover your entire eye socket, but this is not true. I guarantee, if you had the same frame style adjusted to sit just this little bit lower on your face, I and many others would still be able to see your handsome eyes without wondering why your glass don’t fit.

  • RocknRollmom

    Cheesy looking suit even on the model.  Agreee with everything else, but it looks like he has on nice shoes.  I like men who wear nice shoes.

  • Scott Isaacs

    Yes, but isn’t he just dreamy from the neck up? Swoon. Bringing true Clark Kent realness. Loving it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

    Can he raise his arms in that jacket? Quick! Someone wave at him!!

  • e jerry powell

    Yup.  He’s really too wide for double-breasted looks. Unless we’re talking zoot suits.  Then it’s cool.

  • greyhoundgirl

    He looks like a bellhop.

    • littlemissstrange

       Correction: He looks like a SEXY bellhop.

  • Marjean Fieldhouse

    I’m gonna inflict some knowledge here that most woman have beaten into them at birth because Zach’s outfit is a cry for intervention
    1. Where the hem of the jacket breaks makes you look ‘hippy’ and I don’t mean in the Haight-Ashbury way
    2. Contrasting colors and horizontal lines emphasize your brick shape instead of your height and shoulders

    in brief you look like a ventriloquist’s dummy that has inexplicably hit puberty

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KBNJ6GJTXYEE6BON3WGK6KEGT4 Elizabeth

    Ha ha … the affectionate scolding mommy post has me laughing. And now I can’t unsee the little boy in an ill-fitting suit. In my mind, his mom attended this event with him. I imagine she probably spit on her fingers and used them to flatten his hair. Now she’s standing off camera telling him to stand up straight.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/J2VE4NE2FY2BP4QD2XOYKJGLPI Laura

    Yeah, that’s a truly weird jacket. 

  • formerlyAnon

    So, now we know that there’s a genetic component to Tom’s facility with the witty bon mot?

    I dislike the way his glasses dominate his face more than the fit of his jacket. Which needs would be cute if it were bigger – though really, even if it were *big enough* there’s something about that soft shoulder that I think would not be ideal.

    • littlemissstrange

       Those glasses are pure nerdsex.

      • formerlyAnon

         I’ve observed the phenomenon. But though I love many things nerd, and many, many more actual nerds, the charm of the Clark Kent glasses has always eluded me. Ah well, there are plenty to disagree!

  • http://profiles.google.com/hillaryschuster Hillary Schuster

    IS he tall and naturally broad-shouldered?! He looks very slim to me. I feel like he just isn’t wearing the right size/doesn’t have the right tailoring. That jacket is supposed to fit much longer and looser like on the model.

  • kimmeister

    I can’t help but starting singing in my head, “Oo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly, oh-oh and you’re Mary Tyler Moore . . .” 

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    … not seeing it. i think he looks fine.

    the post is hilarious, tho ^^

    • e jerry powell

       Let me fire up the telestrator and point to all the places where the jacket doesn’t fit.

  • http://profiles.google.com/junkfoodgenius Neva Reese

    Rent-a-Swag

  • decormaven

    Dressed by his mom! Spot-on observation. What a pity. At least she added a pocket square.

  • nannypoo

    He looks like a bellhop and the model looks like a gangster. I think I hate this jacket.

  • tereliz

    Is that one of those jackets made of sweats material? And double-effing-breasted? 

    Le sigh! And to think I used to have a totally hetero crush on you, young man! 

    Okay, I still do. 

    Even wearing that jacket.

    Damn.

  • glennethph

    I liked the styling better on the model…but I realized that even if they styled ZQ the same way, he still looks awkward and bad.

  • e jerry powell

    Really, this look is why John Bartlett exists.  Get Zach to Bartlett quick!

  • littlemissstrange

    The jacket does make his torso look a bit barrelly. Still hot though. GOD THOSE GLASSES. UMPF. *humps air*

  • Jennifer Coleman

    Jeez, Tlo, way to call out my struggles with my growing 10 year old!
    Actually, I have a big problem with Zachary’s glasses, which are blocking my view of those darling, hypnotic glossy eyebrows of his.

  • warnerave

    the jacket made him look like he has a big gut..

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    The jacket is atrocious. On the other hand, he gets points for appearing to have showered and groomed before leaving the house, unlike a lot of the young ‘uns these days.

  • guest2visits

    So true. It’s too small and looks disembodied from everything else he’s wearing. 

  • SewingSiren

    Holy cow , I say and do that all the time without even having a kid get the “growth spurt”.

  • ShayShay

    The jacket looks great on the model.  All he needed was a machine gun to complete the look.

  • TRSTL

    Oh, ZQ, come over here, let me console you after that scolding.  Yes, it was totally deserved and you really had it coming but spending some time with me (out of that suit) will make it all better.  I promise.

  • AnnPopovic

    Is that … knit? It pulls like it’s a knit, doesn’t it? 

  • not_Bridget

    Unfortunate jacket–don’t know if it would have worked even in the right size.  But I enjoy the maternal conversation–which was not just imaginary…..

    Meanwhile, Quinto’s co-stars Chris Pine & Benedict Cumberbatch accompanied J J Abrams to Japan for advance Star Trek PR.  For the main appearance, Abrams wore “a suit”, Pine looked a bit too casual & Cumberbatch was perfect….