Miss Universe National Costume 2012 – Part 3

Posted on December 20, 2012

Final round, ladies! Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

 

Albania

 ”Enough with these prostitutes and fancy ladies. Albania is sturdy and traditional.”

 

 

Australia

 ”FUCK THAT NOISE. Australia just wants to hit the nightclubs!”

 

 

Brazil

“The Airbrushing-the-Side-of-a-Van industry is thriving in Brazil! As represented by this totally awesome Cheetah ralphing on my dress!”

 

 

Chile

 ”Our battalions of Chilean colonial super-model ninjas are fucking amazing.”

 

 

Costa Rica

 ”Come to Costa Rica and we will DANCE in our tacky bathrooms!”

 

 

Curacao

 ”Curacaon Bronze Eagle Warriors! Tonight we swoop down on the battalions of Chilean supermodel ninjas and claim VENGEANCE!”

 

 

Czech Republic

 ”Fuck you, Albania. Czech Republic can beat your sturdy ass when it comes to traditional.”

 

 

Denmark

 ”We’re all kinda depressed in Denmark at the moment.”

 

 

Ecuador

 ”ECUADOR! FUCKING BIRDS!”

 

Hungary

“Come to Hungary, where we keep our women pure by laminating them and putting their privates under pounds and layers of fabric! You’re not getting in there any time soon, buddy!”

 

 

Japan

“Japan. Eat our fierceness.”

 

Kosovo

 ”I don’t have a goddamn clue what I’m supposed to be but I am OWNING IT, bitches.”

 

 

Norway

 ”Albanian and Czech girls are whores. When you want extreme tradition, you want a Norwegian.”

 

Guatemala

“Guatemala! Where we demand human sacrifice to appease our showgirls!”

 

 

Panama

 ”Fuck off, Guatemala.”

 

 

Peru

 ”You can both step off, bitches.

Mountains of gold and cages full of virgins by sundown, mortals.”

 

Puerto Rico

 ”Puerto Rico! Who needs clothes, right?”

 

 

Russia

“Russia does. It’s fucking cold here.”

 

 

 

Paraguay

“Poise and muscle control, bitches. Paraguay REPRESENT.”

 

 

Honduras

 ”ENOUGH! The necks of Honduran women are the STRONGEST in the WORLD!”

 

Venezuela

“Lick me, bitch. I’ve got a giant fucking box of chocolates on my head.”

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    Why does the jaguar on Brazil look like it’s vomiting?

    • ianw_bklyn3

       If you were on that tacky mess, you’d be throwing up, too.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

        But did no one in all of Brazil notice that happening? Or did they want an accurate representation of a night’s worth of partying in Rio?

  • krystinamarie

    Venezuela looks like an unconventional materials challenge from Project Runway gone horribly awry. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

      And her boots make her legs look like they’re covered in warts. Ick.

      • Nariya

        Oh god, can’t unsee.

      • e jerry powell

         I was headed for diabetic necrosis, actually.

    • Introspective

      but WTF is that supposed to be on her head? what part of Venezuelan national culture does that cray ass candy box represent? 

      Any Venezuelans out there wanna clarify because Im genuinely curious.

      • Nariya

        The “Special Edition” part of their national culture, according to the label.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         Venezuela produces a fucktonne of high-quality chocolate.

        • http://twitter.com/closetcoach Heidi/Closet Coach

          I believe you meant a “metric fucktonne” …

          • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

             ;) well yes. Otherwise it’d be a fuckton.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

        Thank you. I’m seriously not getting anything from googling “venezuelan chocolates.”

        • AthenaJ

          I think it’s more about the cacao Venezuela produces… which then gets shipped elsewhere and made into chocolate candies, bars, etc.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ZBFH32YG44LIIZYLSQPMBXMYCU Sarah

            Ah, fulfilling her dastardly plan – to force people to learn more than they previously knew about Venezuela! About which I only previously knew one thing: Gas is Cheap There.

      • Heather Galaxy

        Not Venezuelan, but a chocolate nerd. If you want to try some Venezuelan cacao try anything that says Procelana, Chuao, or Criollo. Amedei or Bonnat are the top of the line companies that make chocolates with them. 

        • Rrroza

          Amedei ! mmmmmm!

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I’ll say this for Latin America: they are NOT FUCKING AROUND when it comes to this shit.  They are in it to win it.

    • Introspective

      many thanks to all for the cocoa clarification. still doesnt change my wtf reaction to that bullshit on ms venezuela’s head, but it does help me understand how it got there…

    • guest2visits

      Yes…. and why does Venezuela have Belgium’s box of bon-bons ?  (say that 3 times fast)

    • Louise Bryan

      Absolutely!  Exactly what I was thinking.

  • MoHub

    It may seem reactionary, but I applaud Russia for coming up with a totally recognizable national costume—one that I don’t need a label for to identify its origin.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      They should have done the braid better, though. Too messy and looks fake.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I kinda dig her shoes.  Which I suspect aren’t totally traditional.

      • MoHub

         They certainly aren’t, but at least I can look at the outfit without a caption and know she’s from Russia.

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PVIY3NBCZJAJNFWDBCWG2DMKL4 Jen R

          Yes – why is it that “national costume” means traditional dress to some countries and crack-tastic creations that (sort of) represent the ‘bounty’ of their nation?

          • Louise Bryan

            Walking billboards.

  • MissAnnieRN

    Questions:  Why is the Honduran girl wearing what amounts to giant snowflake wings?  Surely there is more to Denmark than Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales and limp-tastic hair?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

      I was wondering the exact thing.  WTF?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      Honduras is wearing coral wings. By insisting on making it symmetrical, it turned out like a snowflake. Not everything needs to be symmetrical to look interesting. 

      • MissAnnieRN

        thank you for clearing that up for me.  Coral, huh.  Who knew.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         I stared at that for a good 30 seconds before I realised it was coral!

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

        Thanks.  Once you notice that the head of her staff is a sea horse (which took 4 viewings, BTW), it actually starts to make sense.  Inasmuch as these things make sense at all, that is.

        • Sobaika

          Nothing goes together better than seahorses and stripper shoes.

          • OffToSeeHim

            And a Brazillian wax. Yikes!

        • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

           Honduras is like 50% coastline.

          • AnnPopovic

             That explains the wide berth given her ladybits by her bathingsuit bottoms, I guess.

          • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

             She’s telling Victoria’s Secret.

      • michelle shields

        at least the coral wings are symmetrical. Somebody did a really bad job on the boobs!

        • MikeW_PHX

          i was going to mention Ms Honduras’ boobs myself..  they’re strangely asymetrical.  

          • GorgeousThings

            That is the WORST boob job I’ve ever seen in one of these contests. Her left tit looks like it’s trying to crawl up her shoulder.

      • Fordzo

        I totally missed the coral wings the first 10 times I looked at that photo.  

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Aren’t the Danes supposed to be the world’s most content people?  If contentment breeds a costume as blah as that, perhaps I’m glad I’m bitter.

      • lonepear

         I think I had Miss Denmark’s costume for a school play, in first grade. I probably had better hair.

    • BeeBeauNYC

       Denmark was the first country to legalize pornography – I am sure they could have made an outfit exploiting that little tidbit.

    • RedAgain

      Viking fierce!  It’s so obvious, Denmark must have no gays at all.

    • http://twitter.com/MsAlexJackson Alexandria Jackson

       Seriously why did none of the Scandinavian countries do a Viking costume??

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

        Exactly!  A metal breastplate bikini with a horned helmet and thigh high, lace-up platform boots!

    • MoHub

      It took me a minute or two to realize Denmark was channeling the Little Mermaid. Imagine if they’d dressed her as the Ugly Duckling! (With feathers all fuzzy and brown.)

  • shopgirl716

    Honduras was scary.  Really frightening.

    • tereliz

      I agree. I could not look away from her bejazzled crotch and now I’m taking my new Braille keyboard out for a test drive.

  • FrayedMachine

    Okay. Love Japan. Love Peru. Kind of want Chile’s outfit on hand just in case I feel like charging through my neighborhood and screaming at the top of my lungs.

    P.S. Venezuela - wtf?

    • out for a walk

      Any number of these ensembles would be good for running screaming through your neighborhood! Might I recommend Curacao, perhaps?

      • FrayedMachine

        I’d save Curacao outfits for the days I feel like being a super hero. Channeling Hawk Girl, commence!

        • DTLAFamilies

          I thought of the Flash Gordon movie from the early 80s.

          • Eclectic Mayhem

            Hooray – my immediate thought was Brian Blessed bellowing “GORDON’S ALIVE?!”

        • NinaBoo

          Wonder Twin powers, ACTIVATE! Form of…Miss Panama!

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    Christ on a pogo stick, you certainly save the best for last with this lot! Albania ALSO shows it is possible to be sturdy and traditional without wearing nude platform stripper shoes, so well-done her. Peru’s boots are awesome and I love the Chilean ring-master. No baby-stealing jokes for Curacao?

    • Introspective

      OMFG. that baby got really high off the ground and fucking fell before the parents noticed that damned eagle was anywhere in their midst…

      Curacao’s claws will probably appear in my dreams tonight.

      • Introspective

        so Im both relieved and disappointed to hear that the baby-snatching eagle video is a fake. 

        but that eagle on ms curacao’s head? 100% REAL papier mache and gold tin foil. and dont you forget it bitches.

  • Vanja

    I’m not religious at all, but I uttered the word ‘Jesus’ many times watching these pictures.

  • Inspector_Gidget

    So did Ecuador steal Mexico’s cloaking technology,or vice versa?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

    Panama for the win!  I wish these would never end….

  • PeggyOC

    Give it up for Miss Honduras’ bikini waxer.  And her plastic surgeon.  Her boobs are unbelievable.  That is to say, I don’t believe they’re hers.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

       Toddler heads!

      • Introspective

        And is it just me, or the lighting or is there also a titscrepancy going on with the toddlers?? strip mall plastic surgery strikes again…

        • e jerry powell

           One loaf is clearly four centimeters shorter than the other.

    • EveEve

      if real boobs were a requirement, there would be no Miss Universe pagent, and TLo would not have made my f***ing day.

      • http://twitter.com/80nine CAMEЯON

        THIS

    • MoHub

       Of course they’re hers. I’m sure she paid plenty for them.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    Denmark’s looks like she made it in a crafting class. A beginner’s crafting class.
    Riotous commentary – you made my day TLo.

    • tereliz

      How is it that Kim Kardashian could find a better mermaid tail for Halloween than that mess? Is Denmark really doing so poorly in the mermaid tail costume arms race? You’d think after over a century of having like two claims to fame (Hans Christian Anderson and butter cookies) they’d have figured it out. 

      More to the point, who would think, “ooh, velvet (velour? *shudder*), that would be so excellent to make a slippery fish tail out of!”????

    • Call me Bee

      Yes!  That mermaid is so sad…and it was awful watching her walk in it.  I was so embarrassed for her…

  • http://www.facebook.com/ann.verwiebe Ann VerWiebe

    I love that Brazil’s dress actually has handles on it. 

  • BazoDee

    Wait? No Miss Trinidad and Tobago? 

    • l_c_ann

      We do know there’s T&T representative out there, good to go for a third term.

    • tereliz

      Did her costume have sleeves? 

      • BazoDee

        Heck no – bikini with wings and feathers. Sort of Bird of paradise looking.

      • BazoDee

        Okay -what am I missing here? why do you ask?

        • tereliz

          Just busting the balls of a former Miss T&T who also won a season of Project Runway by sending a final collection down the runway that didn’t feature a single sleeve. ;)

    • MoHub

       Where’s Anya when you really need her?

  • nannypoo

    Miss Russia’s costume is beautiful. How did she get in here? It looks like something you might see in Russian Vogue, if there is such a thing. But for the purposes of this competition, Panama and Ecuador are in it to win it.

  • TRSmith

    I’m exhausted. Sensory overstimulation!

  • Vaniljekjeks

    Norway is the world capital for one night stands.  We’re actually all really slutty behind the modest facade.

    • StellaZafella

       Like, she’s not really wearing anything under that? ;)

  • Judy_J

    This group was the best yet!  Miss Denmark is the saddest Little Mermaid I’ve ever seen.  And that box of chocolates on Miss Venezuela’s head….I’m just amazed by this whole parade—-by the designers who designed these costumes, the dressers who dressed these gals, and by the women who actually wore these in public.  Thank you all!

    • http://twitter.com/nicey_nizzy nizea paqueo

      Ms Venezuela’s parents owns a chocolate factory so free advertising! how do i know this? i’m from the Philippines and still pretty much upset our girl didnt make it..only first runner up and no feature in the TLo pages

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    I like the costumes worn by Albania, the Czech Republic, Norway and Russia. Of course, they’re all more traditional/historic clothing, and no stupid stripper version bastardizations.

    Honduras is a millimeter away from a Serious Wardrobe Malfunction.

    • alyce1213

      Ha, my exact words (re Honduras) at the same moment.

    • Nayasabrina

       Um-  did we really need to know Miss Honduras has a Brazilian? 

    • e jerry powell

      Whoopi Goldberg’s favorite word: PUDENDA.

  • alyce1213

    Is it wrong that I love the Russian outfit? I also like Miss Albania’s — it’s actually ethnic and tasteful at the same time.
    Poor Miss Honduras has some serious wardrobe malfunctions happening, upper and lower, and looks like she’s going to fall over in those horrible platform shoes.  
    This is all such a hoot. I’m trying to figure out the significance of the mystery costumes –Kosovo, Australia, Hungary????
    The fierce warrior birds/seahorses/bats/bees from South and Central America all compete to outdo one another, but that look is getting a little tired and predictable, no?

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      I apologise on behalf of my nation for Australia’s costume. Although I think it is part of our heritage to do a half-arsed job on this sort of thing. I reckon the feathers on her head are a reference to cockatoos and the limp ruffles along the hem have something to do with the Opera House. It’s always the Opera House.

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        You guys have an opera house?  I never knew.  Funny that I’ve never heard anyone mention it before.  ;o)

        • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

           We do. And a bridge (just the one).

      • MoHub

         Maybe she needed to channel Ayers Rock.

    • out for a walk

      I think the Hungary one is referencing the crazily huge numbers of petticoats they traditionally wore. Or so a book I had when I was little suggests, and photos online seem to verify: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d9/Voivodina_Hungarians_women’s_national_costume_.png

      That said, they did a really bad job here.

    • Call me Bee

      Kosovo’s actual national costume features a white lace-trmmed dress with a darker vest or couplet and a cool headress with a chiffon scarf.  I guess they just had to slut it up. Hungary’s is a heavily embroidered dress with many lacy and linen petticoats underneath and huge white linen sleeves.  So I can see the derivation. 
      (I know this stuff as the result of attending the Milwaukee Interntional Folk Fair every year since birth.)

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        Hungary looks like a roll of toilet.  A very pretty, very glamorous roll of toilet paper.

  • Srw27

    What in the actual fuck is going on with Miss Venezuela?!?!

    Also, are we sure some of these “girls” aren’t drag queens??  Cause they are FAB-U-LOUS!

    • http://twitter.com/nicey_nizzy nizea paqueo

      ms brazil looked like one

  • indigoskies

    I am mesmerized by Puerto Rico’s thighs.

    • Introspective

      Thank you!!! Girl I saw Ms Puerto Rico and thought it was time to call my trainer for an emergency session on core and legs in advance of the holiday gluttony.

      Between this bitch, JLo and Carmen Carrera, these Puerto Ricans are SHUTTING IT DOWN in the legs department.

  • miagain

    shazaam… Latin America is taking on the world… one giant head piece at a time!

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    i have to echo a previous poster in thanking the fashion gods for Central and South America…how boring this would have been without those countries. 

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Panama took this round, but Japan has the best gays.

  • Lerae Kroon

    Was so sad to reach the bottom of this post, laughed out loud through all three. Can’t wait for 2013. 

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    *Bowing down to Peru* Bring that Blue you fierce bitch, you!

  • YAELS

    Japan’s was kind of gorgeous! Which is crazy in this tack-fest, feather-vomit, vagina freak-show.

  • Nancy Dunn

    Oh, my! Honduras is so barely wearing any clothes! Her bottoms are pulling sideways. Good thing she got herself a shave from her friend in Brazil!

  • luciaphile

    I would like to thank you both for making me cry with laughter. Totally brightened my day TLo!

  • Introspective

    Japan’s costume is unremarkable in this sea of cracktastic craftsmanship but that bitch GAVE FACE. and you WILL deal.

    • andcoh

      Seriously, that girl is fierce as shit.  Someone’s trying to make smooth transition from pageants to acting.

  • http://twitter.com/Alyssa_T_Robot Alyssa T. Robot

    dayum, the south american and tropical-y countries are killin it! personally, i’m a fan of curacao’s costume out of all these but i do appreciate/love all the OTT in these posts.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Wow, Peru is awesome!

    And Paraguay, Honduras, and Venezuela remind me of “Lucy Gets in Pictures” (the headdress episode). It’s on youtube in case anyone hasn’t seen it (is that possible?).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    I am ashamed for Denmark. And Miss Honduras: it’s perhaps not best to choose a costume that emphasizes the asymmetry of your implants, dear.

  • filmcricket

    My God. Panama – picture and caption – is clearly the winner here. Thank you for these posts, TLo, I am laughing out loud at my desk.

  • Frank_821

    OMG! Miss Japan is too fierce for words!

  • marilyn

    I can’t stop laughing!!!!

    • Introspective

      seriously. and I cant get ANY work done now. Im going to be on this page for the rest of the day, clearly. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

    The Australian woman is quite stunning despite her ordinary costume. WOAH PANAMA

  • StellaZafella

     In the midst of all the hysterical and wonderful South American frippery and the blankly “traditional” costumes of the Eurasian and Nordic countries (who clearly didn’t register that this is a Donald Trump production in Las Vegas) Japan and China take the win for me because they’re both NOT national costumes but culturally referential and FIERCELY couture!

    • e jerry powell

       Nah, I thought I saw an obi on Miss Japan’s ass.

  • WhiteOprah

    Oh Chile- even with all of that velvet, gold-fringed epaulets, Lady Gaga boots and sparkles and all I notice is cameltoe.  

    • MsMajestyk

      Seriously.  That is beyond cameltoe.  Whoever thought bulky sequins in the crotchal region was a good idea needs to be poked with that épée.  She seems to know it with that expression.

    • tereliz

      Yes. That is one uncomfortable looking leo, yikes! Shiny crotch is NEVER a good idea.

    • e jerry powell

       And, really, the white contrast is doing nothing nice to her thighs, either.

    • LJCdoc

      That is the worst cameltoe in the history of cameltoe.  IT’S ALL I CAN SEE.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      OH i said that before I saw what you wrote.  It was totally distracting.  

  • NC_Meg

    Is Venezuela secretly known for their candy or…?

    • StellaZafella

       Cocoa Pruducts…?

      • NC_Meg

         Oh, duh. Not so secret.

  • Alexandra Simons

    Honduras!!! OMG. A head-to-(camel)-toe fug.

  • Le_Sigh

    “EQUATOR!  FUCKING BIRDS!”

    BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – this is so much way better than the Victoria Secret Fashion show.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=535548244 Kim Baker Vidas Davey-Irvin

    i wish we all dressed like this, EVERY DAY.  what a world it could be.  lol.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       They’d have to make bigger buses.

    • twocee

      Have you seen the insurance commercial where they imagine a world where we all dressed as superheroes?  These would be 1000 times more entertaining.

    • BuffaloBarbara

       It would certainly be more fun to get dressed in the morning.

  • MsMajestyk

    I want sparkly clawed gloves for Christmas.  Hell, I want the whole ensemble.

  • SapphoPoet

    What is with all the animals/birds on fabric?

    I kinda liked Japan’s costume, and thought Russia, Albania, and Norway looked very sweet. 

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      Miss Norway has an adorable smile. 

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    Is Australia supposed to be a stylized cockatiel? ‘Cuz I think she was outdone by Curacao.

  • Rich Sitelogin

    I too wondered about the cat ralphing on Ms Brazil’s dress before I read your caption.

    Ms Curacao – the only thing running through my head when I saw that was Freddy Mercury singing “Flash a-ah Savior of the Universe”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

    honduras’ shoes.  holy crap.

  • http://www.facebook.com/malicegrant Malice Grant

    I cry Curacao foul! Miss USA totally did the eagle stripper thing in 2010. (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_FW86_jO7k_A/TGq2Lj1Gz6I/AAAAAAAB79I/79J-e4ow0fs/s1600/Miss+USA+Rima+Fakih.jpg) Catch up Curacao. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/malicegrant Malice Grant

    Catch up, Caracao! Miss USA totally did the eagle stripper thing in 2010.

  • allaboutthewalterbenjamins

    Why is Miss Universe not a challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race?

    • StellaZafella

       Seriously! I wouldn’t be surprised if Ru hasn’t though of it already – But, the fact is Ru couldn’t call it anything that would even sound like “Miss Universe” because the Donald would sue World Of Wonder productions and Logo just for mentioning it.
      Only half seriously: Only a handful of the queens from any season so far could carry off these looks, this is some serious drag pageantry shit… and too many of them are deluded that they “don’t do pageant drag”

      • allaboutthewalterbenjamins

        Donald should be persuaded with a decent wig but they
        just need to find a snappy name that hints to it. From the look of it next season has a lot of pageant queens.

  • B_C_J

    I cannot take my eyes off Ms. Honduras’ heels!!

    • http://twitter.com/urban_gypsy Tess Danesi

      I’m torn between those shoes and her giant, and very implant like, breasts. My eyes don’t know where to settle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

    If you can count on one thing to be consistant from year to year, it’s that Japan will bring fierceness and fans.

  • Barbara Woodruff

    Miss Peru seems to have an unusually long and swan-like neck. How is it not snapping off at having to hold up all that crap? That headress looks like it was designed by Dr. Suess. 

  • http://profiles.google.com/dkbbmail Dorrene BrownButterfield

    There are no words to express my extreme happiness at these posts….TLo, you are the gift that keeps on giving!

  • SuEs123

    Wow, Denmark wins the prize for ‘least effort’. Next year’s Miss Denmark should go with a white sheet labeled “DRESS”.

    • RedAgain

       Next year, I expect viking fierceness, Denmark!  Poor Denmark’s gays should be ashamed of this sad mermaid.  The poor dear didn’t even do her hair. 

  • Terrie_S

    I fully expect Peru to be carrying a severed head under her arm like a soccer ball.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    I would like to express my appreciation for Miss Panama, Miss Peru, and Miss Honduras, who exemplify this principle…”Extremism in the defense of pageantry is no vice.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Okay, Japan is fucking fierce as shit.

  • decormaven

    Who in the world designs the footwear for this event? They are completely on another plane of reason. How in the world did they get the design on the Chilean boots- or are those shoe booties made of patterned fabric and fitted onto a sole? The mind, she boggles.

  • golden_valley

    Thank you so much TLo.  You’ve made my day.

  • EditKitten

    Chile looks PISSED.

  • joything

    I swear to GOD, this is how the UN General Assembly should open its work year. 

    It’s also an alternative to military actions.  Send ninja warrior supermodels down the runway in fuck-me pumps.

  • crash1212

    Y’all saved the best for last. I would love to meet the crack heads who dream these costumes up.

  • twocee

    Curacao…I can’t…there’s an eagle head?  Bronze, talons?  WTF?  And Honduras impales seahorses? 

    TLo, you definitely save the “best” for last.

  • mike__tv

    Honduras, come for the boob jobs, stay for the sea horses chile= captain cameltoe. 

    Also LOOOOOOL, this third one was the funniest. 

  • voter1

    The woman from Honduras looks like she needs a better plastic surgeon.  Those boobs are nowhere near being similar in size – or shape.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      between the wildly uneven boobs and those insane stripper heels i am amazed she is even able to remain upright…

      • e jerry powell

        She can’t.  Look at her posture.

      • nannypoo

         Sturdy thighs are the secret to her success.

  • creed419

    Hello TLo & fellow kittens!  I’ve been a lurker for months and ready to burst my TLo cherry.  Can we please get TLo’s take on the Julie Andrews inspired Georges Hobeika couture gown worn by Miss USA our new Miss Universe?  Carry on.

    • MilaXX

       the one with he boobs on display? Never have I been so happy for a sash. did you see her almost faceplant?

      • creed419

         Yes I did!  I just knew Ms. Philippines was going to win.

  • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

    Paraguay looks seriously off in the proportion department

  • Call me Bee

    “When you want extreme tradition, you want a Norwegian.”
    Truer words were never spoken, gentlemen. 

  • Fordzo

    I feel like I know Miss Honduras intimately.  

    • e jerry powell

      We are now all her gynecologists. (™Patsy Stone)

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    I will gladly take whatever Chile is wearing. Beatrix Kiddo meets Simon Bolivar. 

  • Call me Bee

    Thanks once again, gentlemen, for brightening my dreary day.  All the South and Central American feathers and frippery is awesome, but I really love Switzerland’s Nutcracker/Toy Soldier.  It’s so wonderfully festive for this Chrismtas season.  I can hear the trumpets…

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    Poor Denmark! It’s like, “uhm, I guess we have fish, or something?”

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

    Miss Hungary looks like a roll of toilet paper that got away and required rerolling.

  • Connie

    Did we see some of these more than once?  It seems like we saw Brazil and Costa Rica more than once?  

  • MilaXX

    I guess extreme legwear was in style this year

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Props to Chile, Panama and Peru – those ladies brought it with some fierce outfits. Poor Chile has got some serious camel toe going on.

  • http://twitter.com/TheCakeGuy Trevor Burroughs

    These three posts have been some of your best in ages.  Can’t… Stop… Laughing…

    Is it just me, or does Russia look like she’s have a Linda Blair moment? I swear she looks like her head is doing a 360.

  • StillGary

    Thank you!!!! (um, any chance there’s a part 4?)

  • http://twitter.com/Bookmanfilm BookManFilm

    hilarious.  would have loved to have been there when you typed that shit up.  awesome.

  • Tamara Hogan

    Miss Chile’s crotch is insane.

  • e jerry powell

    Truly, you are missing Trinidad/Tobago, who did, in fact, BRING IT.

  • guest2visits

    Dear Jesus… all I want for Christmas is a shiny sword or sabre of my own. I don’t know why. Seriously; when did they start
    prancing down the runway with swords, whips, and GIANT GLITTERY STAFFS OF POWER, ?  This is an audition for Avengers2.
    There are also many awesome and beautiful designs… Russia, Albania, Peru, Norway, I even love Chile’s buccaneer – even if
    I don’t know what it represents.  The Latin American entries are amazing; even if every colorful bird between here and Tierra
    del Fuego has been plucked.

  • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

    These really do make my year.  <3 <3 <3 to TLo for giving us a good guffaw.

  • bertkeeter

    Oy!

  • blumonky

    Oh Denmark…oh…ouch…

  • frankystein123

    Australia, Brazil, Japan, Kosovo, Panama, Peru ftw.

  • Iroqhard

    All three of these posts had me snorting audibly I was laughing so hard. Goddess bless you TLo, this is truly a lovely Christmas gift! AND GOD BLESS US BITCHES, EVERY ONE!

  • Girl_With_a_Pearl

    How do they say camel toe in Chile?

  • ccm800

    I love this time of year on TLo!  Hooray  boys!  love it!  

  • formerlyAnon

    Panama for the feathers, Peru for the intimidation, Venezuala for the headpiece, Paraguay for old school elan.

    Excellent job of building to successively higher levels of fabulous with each post.

  • BuffaloBarbara

    I think if Denmark wants to go the full depressed H.C. Andersen route, they should go for the Little Match Girl theme.  You know, dress in rags, come out barefoot, holding only a little match for light.  I mean, really, if you want to go for “depressed” as a theme, you need to COMMIT, dammit.  Don’t leave us guessing as to whether or not it’s accidental.

    I actually think Miss Albania looks cute in an actual national costume.

    And what is the jaguar doing?  I don’t think he’s supposed to be ralphing, but I can’t tell what the picture is supposed to be.

  • jan lee

    After looking at everything, I only really like China and Japan’s costume, but I must say, Japan uses the kimono schtick time and again. It’s beautiful but it’s predictable.

  • NCDFan

    Hungary looks like she’s wearing a roll of toilet paper.

  • Nistha Shrestha

    At least three species of birds went extinct just to make these costumes.

  • GretaChristina

    Curacao’s ginormous eagle-goddess/ flying monkey wings appear to be supported by a sturdy gold frame affixed to her boobs.

    I’m just sayin’, is all.

    On the other hand, I like how her jewelled man-eating vine is only creeping up one leg, instead of both. Gives it that restrained understatement that is the true essence of style.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sarchie14 Stephanie Archie

    Oh god, thank you so much TLo.  I always love these posts every year.  They are the funniest.

  • Diane_G

    The Hungary costume speaks volumes because of its history. It’s simple but I bet the citizens there feel very close to heart with it.

    I LOVED Mexico’s with her as a Sun God. Amazing. Peru always knocks it out too, when I look at last year’s as well. Denmark I guess is a play on Hans Christian Anderson’s Little Mermaid, but came out very depressing. Japan was Fierce and Fab.

  • Dhammadina

    You have outdone yourselves with this one. You guys really KNOW exactly what they are saying in their immortal-model combat.  I bow down to your brilliance. 

  • MK03

    Chile: GAY MISERABLES.

    I’ll see myself out…

  • RocknRollmom

    Thank you TLo.  These three posts became a family bonding moment!  What more could one ask for during the holiday season.  My children (mid to late teens–I am not THAT bad of a mommy) guffawed, chortled, and wept from laughing over the pictures and your lines.  I have been telling them for months about how fabulous you two are but now they really believe me!  We needed this last night.  You guys are the best.  Wishing you both and all the bitter kittens the very best of the season!

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    Chile has camel toe.  I am sorry but it’s all I can see.  Camel toe camel toe camel toe.  ARRRGH.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Y3OY6COEVBS2STNCUNIRZ3COUE Claudia

    Is it just me or were China and Japan kinda beautiful?  Mexico was afraid people would forget they were there.

  • Louise Bryan

    A lot of these would look pretty normal walking in the Mummer’s Parade in Philly, except that’s on New Year’s Day, and it’s likely to be WAY too cold for that much skin.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Bob-Sponge/100000465550991 Bob Sponge

    This is just too halirious.

  • http://www.fatladysings.us/ TFLS

    What is going on with the ornament theme?  Costa Rica looks like she was designed by Polonaise.  Just hang a hook on her, and make sure she’s near a strand of LED lights for that extra sparkle.

  • MoHub

    National costumes (not requiring labels) I’d like to see:

    U.S.—Levi’s and a sweatshirt
    Brazil—Carmen Miranda outfit with tutti-fruitti hat
    U.K.—Beefeater—or Grenadier Guard (complete with busby)
    Peru—Incan mummy
    Canada—Beaver (with sequined tail)

    Other ideas?

  • save_the_hobbit

    I’m so, so, so confused by the world.

  • Melvis Velour

    Having just come back – last night to be exact – from a gay 2 week romp around Central America, that fuck you to Guatemala by Panama just made me howl.  TLO totally nailed Panama…they don’t give a rats ass about what anyone thinks…

  • http://www.clubvalenciacf.blogspot.com SlickR

    Nice

  • Johnberry22

    Nine out of ten people who change their minds are wrong the second time too. 

  • DesertDweller79

    I am in love with Peru’s costume.  Are those actual boots she is wearing, or does she slip those things over her shoes.  If those are real boots, then I adore her.

  • tmchale

    I’m pretty sure cameltoe is part of no military uniform code whatsoever.