Miss Universe National Costume 2012 – Part 2

Posted on December 20, 2012

Feathers, stripper heels, flags and weapons, darlings. There’s simply nothing like it to be found anywhere. Part 1 here. Part 3 to follow shortly.

Hit it again, ladies.

 

Argentina

“Am I a bat? Some form of demon? Or perhaps some species of bee? Come to Argentina, where our bat-bee-demon women will cater to your needs!”

 

Aruba

 ”And when I blow on my magic stick, the rest of my clothes will disappear!”

 

 

Bahamas

 ”GRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THE BAHAMAS AREN’T FUCKING AROUND ANYMORE!!”

 

 

Canada

 ”Canada is proud to be the leading developer of grade school textbook covers for the developed world.”

 

 

Cayman Islands

 ”Here. Here is where the Cayman Islands will make their stand. My feather warrioresses will ride up and form a line here.”

 

 

China

 ”Come to China! Our girls are walking gift shops!”

 

 

Croatia

“Croatia! Where the homosexuals are forced to work on cars, and costumes are instead designed by pervy, middle-aged straight guys!”

 

 

Cyprus

 ”Come to Cyprus, where we all dress like we’re getting married on a beach!”

 

 

Estonia

 ”LET ME HEAR IT ONE TIME FOR ESTONIA, BITCHES!”

 

 

Finland

 ”Finnish Ice Fairies will welcome you at the airport in skimpy costumes!”

 

 

France

 ”We’re with Italy. We just weren’t feeling it this year. Here’s a flag.”

 

 

Great Britain

“Here’s MY flag, bitches! Right on my crotch!” GLAM ROCK UK, FUCKERS.”

 

 

Guyana

“Come to Guyana, where our homosexual costume designers are seriously out of control!”

 

 

Ireland

 ”Come to Ireland, where the strippers will dance a jig for you!”

 

 

Israel

 ”Elf Queen of Loth-Israel!” ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.”

 

 

Jamaica

 ”Come to Jamaica and party with hot women. You know it.”

 

Mexico

 ”VIVA MEXICO, YOU FUCKING LOSERS.”

 

Netherlands

 ”The Netherlands is proud of its standing as the world leaders in art therapy for the seriously disturbed!”

 

 

New Zealand

 ”Buy a slutty bride in New Zealand!”

 

 

Romania

 ”Romania. We’re right abooooout here. On the map.”

 

 

South Africa

“Cayman Islands is gathering her forces. It is time for PRINCESS GLITTERSPARKLE OF SOUTH AFRICA to respond in kind. Diamond Knights, ATTACK!”

 

 

St. Lucia

 ”Come to St. Lucia and party with even hotter women. We don’t believe in skirts here. Not really.”

 

 

Switzerland

 ”In Switzerland, we will form a kick line AND take your luggage up to your room!”

 

Ukraine

“Tonight, Ukraine will make war against Bahamas for their aggressive posturing.”

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3JSTXMWWVZN2QNP2UEKJMTWD7U Isabel

    I thought that the sunny weather was long gone in Europe. Those girls are super tanned!

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       There is not a single bottle or can of fake tan to be had in the Euro-Union right now.

      • Rand Ortega

         It’s like Norway’s butter shortage. Bottles are currently running in the thousand’s of Euros.

    • Little_Olive

      Really, where did miss Finland find that color? It’s almost against the national costume, no?

      • 3boysful

         Not only that, the costume bears no resemblance to those in the “Finland” number from Spamalot . . . .

      • Call me Bee

        The Hubs has been to FInland and has assured me that NO ONE there is that color.  No. One. 

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_PVIY3NBCZJAJNFWDBCWG2DMKL4 Jen R

          Interesting, that. I’m noticing that all the white girls are way browner than their natural color, while many countries whose ladies are normally naturally tan are looking like they got into the skin bleaching cream. Is beauty still judged by how light-skinned you are in those countries? And I’m mad at South Africa for having a white girl representing them. There have to be plenty of South African girls who don’t look like Afrikaaners that could have made the cut. Sheesh!

          • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

            Pageants take a lot of money (or such is my understanding from TV) which pretty much discounts the majority of women of colour in South Africa.

    • e jerry powell

       Spray tanners unite!

  • http://www.gregmce.com Greg McE

    It actually took me a few seconds to find the woman inside the Mexico costume.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Mexico brought it, no doubt, but mighta been edged out by Guyana.

      • Sobaika

        Can you imagine their disappointment? You show up not in a costume but in a CONTRAPTION, and there’s still a chance you were upstaged.

    • 3boysful

       I was just fixing to type that that is some serious camouflage going on there!

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

       She’s a walking Pyramid.

      • Derek_anny

        Calendar, not pyramid.

    • travelingcat

      Can you imagine packing that costume? 

    • rumrum

      A Mexican “Where’s Waldo”

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    I actually genuinely like China’s effort. 

    • ccinnc

       Agree – China was pretty damned beautiful.

    • MoHub

       Except that I got a Delft porcelain vibe from it. If I hadn’t seen the label, I’d have thought she was from The Netherlands.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         Delftware designs were heavily influence by Chinese ceramics, so that makes sense (my mother in law collects).

    • sugarkane105

      China actually won the costume contest! I’m a little ashamed that I know this.

      • Introspective

        I was about to come on here and post the same. China won and deservingly so as the costume design was both actual design and not sparkles on crack, and referential to the culture. 

        I had the godly fortune of flipping to NBC last night at 9:45 when the top 10 costumes were being announced. Wow.

        The fact that the Netherlands made the top 10 FLOORED me. I was on pins and needles waiting to hear how TLo captioned that clunker… I gotta say: “The Netherlands is proud of its standing as the world leaders in art therapy for the seriously disturbed!” was SO worth the 12 hrs of anticipation.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I will bet your next paycheck that China’s costume was designed by a Chinese designer previously featured on this very website — among the models walking the collection was the great Carmen Dell’Orefice.  Please stand by while I see if an offering to the Google will produce an answer . . . Guo Pei.  And now, having seen a picture of essentially the same dress, I’m going to say mad props to China for going with a real fashion designer.

      Edited to add: Also, please forward your next paycheck at your earliest convenience.

      • muzan-e

        Nice catch. Nick Verreos confirms it as “a creation from Chinese fashion designer Guo Pei’s “Arabian 1002th Night” Spring/Summer 2010 Haute Couture Collection ”.  I knew there had to be a reason why I was adoring the design once I got over all that white-and-blue. Thank you! Please accept all my internet dollars.

        • Frank_821

          Yes TLO had covered that runway show a while back since it featured that grande dame of the runway Carmen Dell’Orefice in the fiercest royal attire

          edit: whoops didn’t read the above post thoroughly enough

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

             Y’all beat me to it, I was just about to post that China was wearing a simplified version of a Guo Pei featured on this site December 3, 2010 (I periodically refer to that post when I need inspiration for Mardi Gras bal masque costumes, or simply to brighten my day).

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         Clever! I thought it looked very high-fashion but I don’t remember that collection (I’m not working at the moment so you can have a rum-ball instead of my paycheque?)

        • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

          A rum ball would more than satisfy!  Yum!

      • MissAnnieRN

        the fabric is beautiful.  I would love to slip cover a slipper chair with it.  I mean that as a compliment.  It’s totally working for me in a costume competition, but that pattern would be lovely for throw pillows or an accent chair as well.

    • DeborahJozayt

      I think the crotch came with a hidden cyborg.

    • BuffaloBarbara

       Yeah, me too.  It looks oddly tasteful and dignified in this context.

    • lovelyivy

      Agreed- that outfit actually looks like real fashion to me, unlike the rest of this sloppy, messy, crazy (the courageous women dressed like Galadriel excepted of course).

    • alyce1213

      Also Aruba. WTF???

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         Aruba’s designer seems to have been in a J.Lo phase.

        • lonepear

           I was thinking Beyonce.

      • e jerry powell

         Is she even wearing panties under that?

      • SpillinTea

        I thought that was Carmen Carerra…

      • http://phreddd.livejournal.com/ Fred V

        Was Aruba’s costume designed by an OB-GYN?

    • StillGary

      China was the bomb! And I’m hungry!

    • MissAnnieRN

      I agree.  I was going to ask if it was wrong that I actually rather liked the China costume and found it’s inspiration to be rather imaginative, given the competition.

      Sad that any of the Spice Girls in their day could have upstaged GB’s effort.  Step it up, GB.  Next time, I want a ROAYL WOMB costume.  If the Queen can jump out of a plane with 007, surely you can do better than a unitard.

      • LesYeuxHiboux

        I thought GB was capitalizing on the Year of Jagger by sending a gal dressed as Mick. 

        • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

           I paused for a moment and wondered if KISS were English.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      I’m hoping it was a wardrobe malfunction, because if they purposely put that blue swath right… there… Ewwww! Vulgar!

    • chelwi

       China was beautiful and the girl can pose.

  • M_E_S

    Is it me, or are there more giant, feathered, sparkly showgirl outfits this year?  Not that I’m complaining- it’s just Uruguay’s got some STIFF competition for most fabulous.  I mean, Mexico went ALL OUT.

    Favorite caption:  Israel.  Galadriel would be proud to wear that outfit.

    • Billie_Dawn

      I think the Israel costume is almost legitimately fabulous in an actual fashion sense. The Star of David is perhaps a bit much, but hey, Israel, right?

  • http://twitter.com/LianaBrooks Liana Brooks

    I’m a little disappointed that New Zealand didn’t come dressed as a Hobbit reference. 

    • DeborahJozayt

      Should have come as Smaug fighting a Balrog.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753435337 Brigitte Todd

         As a NZer I fully endorse this suggestion.

    • lovelyivy

      Especially since there’s so much High Elf drag up on that stage.

      • Pants_are_a_must

        Gurl you know they’d all be wiped out by Thranduil and his magical elk.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=2066192 Melissa Mellon

    I vote Guyana and Mexico for the finals–someone brought some *serious* game with those get-ups!

  • http://twitter.com/Lily1129 Lily

    Sitting here giggling in my chair. Well done.
    but joking aside, the fabric used in China’s costume is absolutely beautiful.

    • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

      Yeah, as far as just “pretty”- they win, in a landslide. 

  • FrayedMachine

    I… I don’t even GET most of these. It’s like a Victoria’s Secret runway show except themed by country???

    • Lori

      I don’t really get most of them either. Canada’s is especially confusing. A bikini isn’t generally the first thing people think of to represent Canada and then they covered the cape thing with other people’s flags. Italy and France weren’t feeling it this year, but at least they half-assed it with their own flag.

      • http://twitter.com/nuanc Nancy SM Waldman

        Immigration is big in Canada. Supposedly, Toronto (ie, Canada) (tongue-in-cheek) has the most diverse populace of any city in the world. I dunno. I assume that was the notion. Not that it works. On any level.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         On the fourth viewing I realised that Canada’s sash is made of maple leaves.

    • http://twitter.com/starrika starrika

       Yes, except when Victoria’s Secret does it, it’s “racist.”

      (Tongue in cheek, please put the flamethrowers away!)

      • FrayedMachine

        I was thinking this… I just simply didn’t outright say it hahahaha i guess it’s not racist if the people from the country actually do it ??? i don’t know. Looking at this pictures makes me feel kind of dumb right now.

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/FDLN57LIHID66FUHX7EU2EQHBE Sarah

           Well there is kind of a difference between a bunch of (mostly) white women throwing on the garb of other ethnicities and cultures solely for the titillation of the viewer, and women “celebrating” their ethnicities or culture through culturally-inspired clothes.  Yeah, the Miss Universe costumes are still for titillation, but at least they own it in a way.

  • http://twitter.com/suryasnair suryasnair

    I want to see India, and what you will say about it :) 

  • DeborahJozayt

    I see Heidi wearing Mexico’s outfit for Halloween next year.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      I think she’ll bring a picture of Mexico’s outfit to her costume designers and say, “See this pathetic display? I want MORE! More everywhere, and then some!”

    • e jerry powell

       It’ll be a mashup of every national costume south of Texas.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3JSTXMWWVZN2QNP2UEKJMTWD7U Isabel

    Miss Argentina – Kim Kardarshian’s lost twin
    Miss Aruba – JLo and Shania Twain will fight for the outfit or import the designer.
    Miss Estonia – Will get frostbite on half of her body

    Kayne Bow should have been hired. His designs are more tasteful than these.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      It’s amazing how many of these girls look like Kim Kardashian.

      Also, Estonia seems to have the secret plans from the microfilm printed out on her dress.

      • Little_Olive

        An shouldn’t.

        The question is, will (would?) the Armenian girl look at all like Kim?

        • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

          She’s probably blond.

          • Call me Bee

            Ha!  Yeah–and  (I think) all of the Scandinavians were dark-haired this year. 

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

        I thought the same thing about the KK dopplegangers. Also I feel like I need someone to explain Argentina’s “national” part of the costume… and I’m Argentinian. 

        • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

          Glad to hear you say that about Argentina, because I don’t get it at all.  Granted, I know little about Argentina, but is it the land of evil queens who want to kill Snow White?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lucía-Gavello/1253586868 Lucía Gavello

            I had to look it up, she’s supposed to be a “warrior eagle” which is a line from our flag song. “Alta en el cielo, un águila guerrera”… meaning “high in the sky, a warrior eagle” referring to the actual flag (Which is white and sky blue). Problem is, she’s wearing the colours of a bald eagle, found mainly on North America and USA’s national bird. Pageant people… not the brightest peas in the pod. 

          • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

            I wouldn’t be surprised to learn she’d hired an American costume designer.  And you know how aware Americans are about anything that isn’t happening in America.

        • Melina Zurano

          I’m from Argentina too and also didn’t get it… but at least I’m happy they tried this time (for the last three or four years the costumes where so effortless that one couldn’t make fun of them; and at least for me, that’s what this is all about)

          But seriously, that costume doesn’t give “Warrior Eagle” at all

      • Spicytomato1

        Were all of the girls on stage at the same time? Because I’m starting to think that all those KK lookalikes are just one girl who represented several countries.

      • Call me Bee

        The skirt had a silhouette of Talinn, the capitol city.  Kinda cool.   

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I kinda love China.  The costume is expertly executed, referential without bashing you on the noggin, and without the headdress, would be an amazing couture runway look.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      See my response to foodycatAlicia above — I’m positive it was designed by Guo Pei, from the Arabian Nights collection.

      • Frank_821

        it most definitely is

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

         Yes, see the December 3, 2010 post on this site, and be prepared to weep at the stunning creations.  I have chill bumps just thinking about it.

    • sanja_ramic

      Yes. I admit I gasped a little at how genuinely beautiful it is.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         See girls?  It is possible to look stunningly beautiful without resorting to dressing like a refugee from some third rate Vegas floor show.

        • StellaZafella

           But Kiltd…It’s Trump and it’s in Vegas…It IS a third rate Vegas floor show!

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            SO,…I was right on the money, without even knowing it.  lol  of course adding that its Trump only ups the cheese factor to another ghastly level.

          • StellaZafella

             He likes to sit in his box with Hugh Hefner while they tell their younger wives, “You’d look good in that!…You’d look good in that, too!”

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

             Those cads probably look at the contestants and tell their wives “I’d look good in HER”.

          • e jerry powell

            How much says Trump will marry one of the MU girls once Melania’s face starts cracking?

    • Little_Olive

      Same as Italy. It’s like they are too sumg -”look bitches, we put our design talent into a more artistic activity, more serious industry, skinnier women with longer and whiter legs” 

    • Anathema_Device

       I just responded to another poster that it looks like Gui Pei dress Tom and Lorenzo had on this site a while back.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         And we got confirmation on that from Gayer Than Thou.   No wonder it looks like couture.  It IS couture.

        • Anathema_Device

           Now that dress is what I want to see when someone shows the good china!! Porcelain, not vajayjay!

    • WhiteOprah

      ITA In a sea of glitter, sequins, feathers, stripper heels and orange tans I was glad to see that at least one country had good taste.  

  • Vickiefantastico

    I don’t know why exactly, but I love St. Lucia’s umbrella and costume.

    Great commentary again, guys!

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Though it does seem that St. Lucia lacks a complete concept of the umbrella.  Perhaps because it’s always sunny there?

      • Vickiefantastico

        You know, I had the same thought! It also kinda looked like an old, beat up umbrella you’d find in an attic somewhere. Yet somehow, it worked for me.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    MEXICO GAYS BROUGHT IT. Bahamas and Ukraine were sadly killed in a duel to the death. Israel killed the little Finnish fairies Argentina then took to the undying lands under her big black wings. The rest formed a conga line.

    • e jerry powell

      There’s not even any blue or gold in the Argentina costume.  The gays there need a color chart, apparently.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Oh my word. Bahamas! Argh, indeed. 

    These are the best Christmas presents ever. You guys always know just what to get us!

  • EverybodysStarling

    Oh God, how much I love you guys :D 

  • Wendy Wetzel

    I’m surprised you missed Romania’s camel toe display (posted on Time.com)!

  • VanessaDK

    Not to take this all seriously, but I love Canada’s multi-culturalness!

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Ah!  Multi-cultural.  Now I get it.  I thought she was just saying “Everyone else has had a shot, you may as well go for it.”

  • MoHub

    Guyana looks as if it came out of a PR unusual materials challenge—if the designers were sourcing a Hallmark store and had more than a day to complete their offerings.

  • ChiliP

    MEXICO FTW!!!

  • Kimbolina

    China’s is pretty amazing.  She won the best national costume award or whatever.  Did anyone else watch it?  I saw bits and pieces of it and SO MANY of the gowns were freaking skirts over granny panties/leotards.  Someone was actually walking around holding the skirt open to show the granny panties.   Ugh.

    On another note, Miss USA won and she goes to my alma mater.  Woooh.

  • bertkeeter

    SCARRY!

  • AwesomeMargie

    FUCKING MEXICO!
    LOVE IT!

  • zenobar

    Actually kind of living for Ukraine and Bahamas.  They’re the coolest of the bunch, hands down.

    I’m embarrassed for UK.  Ireland looks oddly like Jillian Michaels in a slutty Halloween costume.

    China is really very pretty (relatively speaking).  Love the ombre tassels on her headpiece and the colors are gorgeous.

    Mexico wins the Most Shit Hot-Glued Onto One Outfit Award.

    Netherlands wins the Straight-Up Batshit Cray Cray Award though.  Perhaps the weed probably has something to do with it.

  • BuffaloBarbara

    Love Mexico’s sense of humor–Mayan calendar!  If you’re going to do a Miss Universe costume, just give in and do it, man.

    And I’m kind of loving the Bahamas Jack Sparrow thing, too, for the same reason.  They’re in on the joke.

    I believe the middle-aged men who designed Croatia’s costume were just in a hurry to get to the Cayman/South Africa battle.

    Cyprus is a not-half-bad reference to classical mythology, I think. (Aphrodite… my brain is saying she’s associated with Cyprus, anyway, though it’s early in the morning here and I may be wrong.)

    • e jerry powell

      Aphrodite would be closer to Aruba, methinks, at least in concept.  That is one ugly toga otherwise.

  • ashpo17

    China’s costume is gorgeous, and very Ming

  • nannypoo

    I agree with other BKs about China. If you take away some of the extreme elements of that outfit it could be a beautiful dress. For the rest of this silly display there’s really no hope and no excuse.

    • Anathema_Device

      There is a designer dress very much like that…[off to google it or search my pinterest page...please hold...] Here it is! I think it is the same dress, by designer Gui Pei. Pinned from this very site (or the old Blogger version anyway):
      http://pinterest.com/pin/22869910577225726/

      • l_c_ann

        Brilliant memory, anathema! Thank you.

  • Cathy S

    I have no idea what any of these costumes have to do with their native countries. That said, the pattern and colors on Ms. China’s outfit are beautiful, and I personally believe that Ms. Estonia and Ms. Ukraine are bringing it.

    And “Elf Queen of Loth-Israel! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR.”? Fucking hilarious.

  • Judy_J

    Mexico’s costume was by far the most labor intensive.  I applaud St. Lucia, bravely smiling in spite of the fact that she was forced to carry a broken umbrella.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

    Hilarious!

  • whirligig7

    Romania’s costume would have been better suited for Brazil… when you realize you can see the full nature of her bikini hair removal… http://style.time.com/2012/12/19/photos-miss-universe-2012s-most-bizarre-national-costumes/slide/miss-romania-della-monica-duca/

  • muzan-e

    Oh, Ukraine. You make all my Ukranian Schiavona-Wielding Period Heroine cosplay dreams come true. *beams*

  • Little_Olive

    Argentina is so low right now they had to hire Kim Kardashian to represent them. 

    • Anathema_Device

       I thought that about Finland!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1576973112 Patricia Groves Dobrowski

    I’m not sure if I should be horrified that they put a Star of David across Miss Israel’s chest, or bow the fuck down to the drag queen divaliciousness of it. 

    • MoHub

       I had the same mixed reactions to Ms. Israel’s Magen David chest piece. Ultimately, I was on the negative-reaction side.

      Can you imagine the reaction if Ms. Switzerland had a huge white cross emblazoned on her chest? The fundamentalists would have been screaming blasphemy.

      • e jerry powell

        Or Sweden…
        or Norway…

        • MoHub

           Scotland might have gotten away with it, though.

  • decormaven

    Didn’t JLo wear Aruba’s costume recently? Very familiar. These are full on cray- just what’s needed on a cold, wet, winter’s day among the tinsel and glow.

  • Elsewhere1010

    It looks like the best episode of Project Runway — ever!

    I would KILL to hear Tim in the workroom walkabout…

  • Squarah

    These are my favorite TLo posts all year! My face hurts from laughing!

  • Jecca2244

    I am so confused by this part of the pagent. It’s a joke, right? not to mention that some of these costumes play right into a stereotype…i mean the pirate hat and sword?? THAT’S how your nation dresses? lol.

    • calimon

      Try finding the show on YouTube. The commentators are just ridiculously lame. The female commentator sounds just like Cameron Diaz, which I find so irritating. The guy commentator just makes typical lame guy comments like, “well, I wanna know more about Miss so-and-so” 

  • jilly_d

    I actually kind of lurv the Chinese costume. Mexico – Geeezus. LOL @ the Bahamian/Ukranian pirate war

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

    This is seriously the most dragtastic aspect of the beauty world. Brava, ladies. Now step down while some real drag queens show you how it’s done.

  • Stubenville

    Shouldn’t Miss Canada be wearing a floor length down parka and mukluks? 

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      Or a hockey uniform.

    • http://twitter.com/AmeliaNotPond Amelia Ross

      i’m pretty disappointed in the lack of cute plaid dresses and Hunter boots.  Lumberjack queen of Canada could be amahzing.  

      • e jerry powell

        Thermal Daisy Dukes?

  • Anathema_Device

    ARuba looks like she is wearing a J Lo stage cast-off.

    The Canada costume caption killed me. I had to put my head down on my desk to gather myself.

    And Part III is coming? You spoil us!!

    • StellaZafella

       Alexis Mateo and J Lo’s people are hot in the bidding cycle for Aruba’s costume as we speak.

  • ianw_bklyn3

    I can’t believe Israel went as a menorah.

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    TLo, your comments are hysterical. And yes, China got it gorgeously right. The UK chick is so tackily fierce, I love it!
     

    • Frank_821

      yes she was! it’s clear she knew what she was doing

      actually there’s an old brit superhero with a similar costume called Union Jack. I would have geeked out if she dressed as Capt Britain from marvel Comics

    • tereliz

      Of everyone, I feel the Brit girl’s costume really summed up the lowest common denominator of the current British National Costume, chav boots and all. And just look at those glorious extensions!

  • GorgeousThings

    Aruba – one slight breeze and the entire world will see Where Happiness Lives!

    • e jerry powell

      No breeze necessary.  I don’t even think there’s a thong on down there.

  • http://twitter.com/Alyssa_T_Robot Alyssa T. Robot

    st. lucia ftw! :-D

  • http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

    China’s costume is stunning. Gorgeous. I love the Pirates of the Caribbean mixed in.

  • alyce1213

    What’s with Miss Aruba’s crotch and why can I see it?

    Miss Ireland’s outfit looks like it came out of a package at the holiday costume shop, over-the-knee tights added.

    Can’t wait for part 3.

  • http://twitter.com/starrika starrika

    I want China’s dress as my future wedding gown. So stunning. Have had it saved on my Pinterest board since TLo posted that collection last year.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    China is kinda beautiful, Mexico is completely nuts, and TLo’s commentary is absolutely priceless.

  • StellaZafella

    Mexico could have the entire Mayan Kama Sutra depicted in it…and I would only LOVE her gays more!

  • guest2visits

    You HAVE to love some of these…   my personal favorite; Ukraine. South Africa. The Bahamas. And OMG Aruba – what is
    going on under that sheer bed spread?   Oh, the thin line between outrageously bad and outrageously funny.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

    st lucia’s umbrella looks a bit busted.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/DNWEFT2SVBX5T3NPMROQCT4U2U jennyv

    I really want to see this glittery spandex warrior princess battle happen!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emily-Smith/12431153 Emily Smith

    the brits need new gays.  they couldn’t even make her look slutty, they just made her look wide.  one job guys, one job.  fired on the basis of not enough glitter.

  • Lieska Lee

    I love the China dress too. It could be a gorgeous red carpet outfit if just toned down a bit (and sans hat)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cortney-Dean/100002491593625 Cortney Dean

    OH my god I love you guys. These are by far my favorite posts every year. LOVE IT.

  • librarygrrl64

    Wow, that Great Britain costume is NOT flattering. And I kind of like China.

  • JanieS

    SWORD FIGHTS AND MAGIC DUELS. God, I love the Miss Universe Pageant. It makes my whole week.

  • Kate4queen

    Ha!!! I actually love Ms. China’s get up. Mexico for the Win!!

  • Angela_the_Librarian

    Loved China’s costume and Ireland looks a bit like a superhero. Romania appears to be directing traffic with her cape!

  • http://twitter.com/uyeahu Michelle Wilson

    I think Mexico wins.

  • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

    You guys must have the best time coming up with comments for these……these……creations.  I’d love to see the ones that were left on the cutting room floor.  I bet they’re even funnier than the ones you put on the site! 

    Anyway, for me, Mexico was the most gasp-worthy.  I honestly let out a whoop!

  • tereliz

    Is it sad that I kind of want the Ukrainian costume? You know, to wear to Whole Foods and such? The sword would come in handy for getting a good parking spot… 

  • Rand Ortega

    I didn’t know there was a drag version of “The Music Man”. Thanks, Switzerland!
    St. Lucia’s costume is so cracktastic the sheer weight of it broke her umbrella.
    PRINCESS GLITTERSPARKLE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    Miss Great Britain is auditioning for the Spice Girls Tribute band currently touring Uzbekistan.
    Netherlands– Dayum. Just. Dayum.

  • donnaINseattle

    There is a Part 2? AND a Part 3? Oh, Santa arrived early and digitally this year!

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Hmmm — yesterday Nicaragua and today Guyana.  I’m starting to have serious concerns about my level of taste!!

  • JaneDC

    I can’t begin to imagine what it looks like backstage before this event.  Some of these costumes could put someone’s eye out.

  • MsMajestyk

    God these are wonderful.  I can’t wait for Part 3. 

    The Netherlands seems to be sporting amoebas on her catsuit.  Or fossils.  That thing is atrocious.

    Viva Daisy Fuentes in her Mayan splendor.

  • Inspector_Gidget

    I see London, I see France.  I see… the entire world’s underpants!

  • EEKstl

    Priceless, and jaw-droppingly tacky in a way that transcends all rationality.  LOVE!  (And I am DEFINITELY wearing Miss Israel’s gown to our next family Bar or Bat Mitzvah!).

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    Is it wrong that I think some of these are kind of awesome?

  • Qitkat

    My mom and I used to watch the *far-tamer-taking-itself-much-more-seriously* version of this show together back in the sixties.
    THIS IS A LOT MORE FUN!

     But when did all the cray-cray begin? Because I really do not remember anything like this.

    • MilaXX

       Probably when Trump bought it

      • Qitkat

        Silly me! But Of Course.

  • chelwi

    South Africa is kicking off the trend of one-legged pants? I mean, I guess we all had to know this was next after one-sleeved shirts and dresses.

  • girliecue

    Great French beauties: Fantine, Satine, Eponine, and now Miss France 2012, Polyester Gabardine.
    Great Britain: David Bowie is rolling his eyes at you
    Mexico: Careful with costume. It’s going to be used next in a Nachos Gone Wild commercial
    Bahamas: “We are SO sick of you &@!*#+ tourists! Come to Bahamas where we will cut your %#@()& throats”

    And the theme of this year’s National Costume Parade: War of the (Miss) Worlds! Seriously, what’s with the belligerent beauty queens?!?

  • Amy_R

    Mexico for the win!! That costume is ca-ra-zy fabulous!

  • Zippypie

    Mexico has an honorary spot in this year Mummer’s Parade. Viva la Mexico doing the Mummer’s Strut, bitches!

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Miss China’s costume is actually rather beautiful. It captures a part of the heritage, but doesn’t make a stereotype or a stripper-suit out of it.

  • Srw27

    I just want to know how they got those humongous costumes on the plane!

    • e jerry powell

       Honey, queens can manage anything.

  • miagain

    where to start??

  • myristica_fragrans

    china’s costume was so beautiful.

  • BrooklynBomber

    I’ve always loved Mexico. Now my love knows no bounds.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/37TPKASIMXVUPYK5BNQFOL43KU Carina

    I wish they had this contest every month. China’s outfit is beautiful!

  • somebody blonde

    France’s is actually pretty clever- isn’t she supposed to be Liberty Leading the People?

  • tereliz

    “Croatia! Where the homosexuals are forced to work on cars, and costumes are instead designed by pervy, middle-aged straight guys!”

    I’m still dying over the Miss Croatia caption! Y’all are killing it today!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mary.nease Mary Nease

    All that comes to mind when I see the British one is SUPER CHAV.

    • tereliz

      ROFL, me too! Her pancake foundation is strong enough to stop a speeding locomotive! She can max out her credit cards—buying pleather catsuits—faster than a speeding bullet!

    • MilaXX

       she looks like a Spice Girl

      • e jerry powell

        She looks like all five Spice Girls forcibly compressed into one spice rack.

  • Sarah Thomas

    I got to Israel just as my boss was walking by. Thanks, TLo.

  • tereliz

    um… that’s a body stocking with cutouts

  • Call me Bee

    Oh my gosh I love youse guys. 
    I was so excited to see a Miss Estonia, and her costume was kind of awesome–but she kept tripping on that huge skirt.  (I say it’s because she’s actually of Russian descent.) 
    Also–thanks for the pinwheel girl (Netherlands, I think)  That outfit was ridiculous… 

  • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

    St Lucia’s partially collapsed umbrella is sad.

    also, “VIVA MEXICO, YOU FUCKING LOSERS.” is the best quote ever

  • gelcat

    NOOOOOO!!  Where is the front shot of Romania with the most heinous camel toe EVER?!?!?!!

  • unbornfawn

    You know, I think you’ve found the fashion niche for Josh. Time to boot him off PR All Stars and send him to the Miss Universe pageant.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Mexico is the ish! 

  • e jerry powell

    Is Miss Israel supposed to be some kind of deranged menorah?

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

       Or just Kylie Minogue?

      • e jerry powell

        Yes, but we love Kylie, even if she’s too old for Miss Universe.  She’s an outright showgirl.

        • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

           Big love to Kylie, it was a compliment to Miss Israel for her diva-tude!

    • Yaara

      I honestly don’t think so. It doesn’t match numerically with… anything related to Hanukkah.

      • e jerry powell

         True, but since when have beauty pageants been about accuracy or authenticity?

  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    Union Jack Crotch wins this! She will kick your yank ass!

  • MilaXX

    I was bored last night and actually watched this crack feast. It is truly cray watching these teeny model thin women parade around in one wacky costume after another. Hightlights was one of them almost falling and windmilling after tripping on someone’s train, Ms USA nearly faceplanting, and Ms Venezuela’s choosing to answer her question in English instead of using the translator and making no sense at all. Seriously, it was, ” gkyuuu, something, something, laws , something something, rights, kjhgjhgulg, I like to surf.”

  • Jennifer W

    I’m sorry, but I went blind after Mexico…

  • shanteUstay

    I almost fainted when I saw guyana but when I saw mexico, I was ass up in the grave, W-O-W.
    Subtle is not in the Spanish dictionary!

  • frankystein123

    China, Finland, France, Jamaica, Mexico, New Zealand, S. Africa ftw.

  • sherrietee

    Ukraine is making me want to shout “moose und squirrel!”

  • Eric Tolle

    GB’s outfit is an example of why superheroine costumes should stay in the comics.

  • ccm800

    Mexico looks ready to parade up Broad Street 01/01/13!!!!!!!! 

  • formerlyAnon

    China, gorgeous but not really playing the same game.

    Mexico FTW.

    Among many killer captions, I laughed hardest at Canada’s. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Adams/1143985903 Sarah Adams

    China is absolutely gorgeous, even if she does look like one of my grandmother’s plates. (I always wanted those plates, actually.)

    Mexico looks like a third grade macaroni craft project mural. The idea is cool, the execution is …well…third grade art project. 

  • http://twitter.com/DarrenNesbitt Darren Nesbitt

    Guyana is defying gravity with all those fireworks, but The length of that asymmetrical hem is horrible. 

  • malvernite

    it’s like the captions are written by interns or summat.

  • A. Valera

    Wow, Mexico…wow.  Como Tim Gunn decía: “Eso es un montón de look.”

  • http://www.fatladysings.us/ TFLS

    I swear to God Guyana looks like a Christmas tree ornament.  Kurt Adler on steroids.

  • melanie0866

    Will someone who is Jewish please tell me if it is OK to decorate your cleavage with a Star of David?   Because I’m thinking perhaps not.

  • DesertDweller79

    Mexico, te amo!  Viva Mexico!

    I also really like China’s.  And I like the effort at actual costuming from Ukraine.  Or maybe I just think she looks more badass with a sword than Bahamas.

  • PinkLemon

    China wins for taste, Mexico wins for BATSHITCRAY

  • ThatAnnoyingDude

    Homosexuality is actually a crime in Guyanna.