Miss Universe National Costume 2012 – Part 1

Posted on December 19, 2012

It’s time once again for that international moment of wonder known as the Miss Universe National Costume unveilings, darlings. A bigger collection of jingo-ism crossed with light stripping you will never see anywhere else.

Hit it, ladies.

 

Angola

 “Come to Angola! WE’RE ALL ABOUT THE TITS!”

 

 

Belgium

 “Belgium! Where the weather is shit and the girls dress like widows!”

 

 

Bolivia

 “Our Bolivian vegetation will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP, PEOPLE.”

 

 

British Virgin Islands

 “The British Virgin Islands! Our women have colorful tumors!”

 

 

Bulgaria

 “The fuck-me heels really sex it up, right?”

 

Colombia

 “Colombia! Come for the color, stay for the taxidermy!”

 

 

Dominican Republic

 “Please. Do not speak or applaud. The Dominican Republic does not require such vulgar displays.”

 

 

Uruguay

“BAM, MOTHERFUCKERS! FUCKING URUGUAY, OKAY?”

 

El Salvador

 “Yes, it’s my grandmother’s tablecloth, but check out these legs, you guys!”

 

 

Germany

 “The fuck-me heels make this totally sexy, right?”

 

 

Greece

 “Come support the Greek drag queen industry, bitches!”

 

 

Guam

“Come to Guam. Do I have to explain why?”

 

 

Italy

“We didn’t feel like trying this year. Here’s a flag.”

 

 

Botswana

 “Man, what I wouldn’t give for a pair of fuck-me heels right about now.”

 

Malaysia

“Come to Malaysia, or my dragon-riders will burn down your villages and a hundred years of darkness and winter will befall you all!”

 

 

Namibia

“Come to Namibia, where we will dance and party in our fuck-me heels!”

 

 

Nicaragua

 “EAT MY SHIT, URUGUAY!”

 

Poland

 “Polish good girls look like porn stars. Just saying.”

 

 

Serbia

 “Do not listen to Polish cows. Serbia’s women are purest.”

 

 

Singapore

 “Our Singaporean fabrics are impressive, are they not? You will come and buy some soon.”

 

 

Slovak Republic

“The Slovak Republic! We have a HUGE SURPLUS of old wallpaper just lying around!”

 

 

Sri Lanka

 “It matters not to us whether you come to Sri Lanka. Your worship from afar is sufficient, insects.”

 

 

Tanzania

 “This is what happens when you a tell a Tanzanian queen that you’re not doing that tribal shit this year. That little bitch.”

 

 

Turkey

 “Hey, you guys. Come to Turkey. We’ll get high and listen to some great shit.”

 

 

USA

 “SPARKLES AND LIBERTY, MOTHERFUCKERS!”

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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