Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Dianna Agron

Posted on December 05, 2012

Girl, no:

Dianna Agron attends In Vogue: The Editor’s Eye screening at Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City in head-to-toe Bottega Veneta.

Bottega Veneta Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Andie Arthur

Bottega Veneta Spring 2013 Collection

Bottega Veneta Knot Intrecciato Clutch

Reading the red carpet tea leaves, we think Dianna’s trying to evolve her naturally demure personal style into something a bit edgier and we’ve got to say, between this look and the D&G one from yesterday, it’s just not working. This dress is kind of cool, but that’s a lot of beading and it makes it kind of tough to pull off. We could see this on a Zoe Saldana or Keira Knightley, but Dianna’s more of the cool California blonde type and it just feels sort of wrong on her. Similarly, as much as we loved these shoes when Keira wore them, they just look heavy on Dianna, paired with this dress. Also: she really needs to stop with the tanning. It makes her look like a generic blonde starlet. If she wants to be dramatic with her look, go Seyfried-pale and work something mod-ish. These Italian designers aren’t serving her well.

Girl, box this whole look up and send it off to Keira or Zoe. Let’s get you in some Marc Jacobs or something.

[Photo Credit: Theo Wargo/Getty Images,,]

    • Kiltdntiltd

      Honey, I don’t want to alarm you, but there are phalanxes of bugs crawling up your dress.

      • kikisayshi

         Oh, now I can’t stop seeing the bugs! Thanks a lot! :P

      • Mismarker

        And now that is all I can see.  Ew.  

      • charlotte

        Only one day after we were treated with a barnacle dress…

        • Kiltdntiltd

          Clearly now, we are working a subliminal nature theme lately.

          • Nicholas

            American Fashion Horror Story.

          • Monabel

            Not subliminal enough.

      • B_C_J

         LOL, now my skin is crawling.

      • Emily Brungo

         Her dress is now giving me anxiety.

      • Martha Hicks Leta

        Someone referenced this in a later post and I had to find it because I’d just posted nearly the same thing. Madagascar hissing cockroaches, right??

        • Kiltdntiltd

           Mmmm Hmm.  Pretty much my first thought too.

          • l_c_ann

            not the hissing ones, good ole Gulf Coast real world cockroaches do that,too.

            • irinaslutsky

              palmetto bugs

      • Karen C

        OMG I was going to say the same thing!  Like tiny scarab beetles from The Mummy.  I kind of like the dress more, if I think of it decorated in bugs.  Couldn’t like it less, otherwise.

      • IamstillAnonymous

        Besides for TLo, _this_ is why I so love reading this blog.  On other blogs, posters don’t understand (or care about) the difference between their, there or they’re.  _Here_ I read posts containing words like ‘phalanxes.’   I’m a happy reader. 
        P.S.  Oh, and thanks, Kiltdntiltd, for the mental imagery I cannot erase.  

        • Kiltdntiltd

          (With knowing, sly, marginally evil smile present on my mugg)
          I do what I can to help my fellow PUFs.

    • AnnPopovic

      Honestly, I don’t think it’s the dress that’s the problem; that’s not her skin color, hair color, shoe, or  hair CUT. The dress? It’s the ONLY thing that works for me.

      • teensmom99

        Couldn’t agree with you more.

        • Kristin McNamara

          It’s like she let Lea Michele tutor her in red carpet appearances…. Lay off the tan and heavy makeup, D!

      • filmcricket

        That’s where I am, too.

      • Dana WhatTheFrock

        I agree.

      • B_C_J

        I think you have hit the problem directly on the head.

      • kingderella

        agreed (mostly).
        i like the dress on her (and the clutch is fabulous).
        shoes and haircut i can take or leave.
        but that skintone, particularly combined with that hair colour, is alarming.

    • Sobaika

      Girl that is not your dress.Girl those are not your shoes.Girl that is not your bronzer.Girl that is not your hair.

      Glad we had this talk.

      • funkycamper

        Gosh, I love her hair.  It looks like I’m pretty much alone on that.  Agree with the rest.

        • Martha Hicks Leta

          I like it too, but then I’m frequently an outlier here. 

          • funkycamper

            Maybe we need to form a support group then because me, too.

        • formerlyAnon

           I like the hair with her face. But it does evoke Cali girl outdoor sportswear ads to me.

      • Jane Donuts

        Girl that is not your bra, either.

      • SaoirseLee

        Girl, in fact I think those are Frank n Furter’s Sweet Transvestite shoes, box them up and send them to a Rocky Horror shadow cast somewhere.

    • l v

      Girl, that’s not your dress…or your tan…or your bangs…or your flat hair. Nice eyeliner?

    • christinewithanx

      This doesn’t look like her, somehow. This has blonde Lea Michele leanings here???  Maybe it’s the shiny overtan.

      • kschwarting

        I agree, but I think that’s the tan.  This is way to demure to be a LM dress.

    • teensmom99

      I covet the dress (and wish I still had the body it would work on). Amazing that the shoes were so fab on KK but don’t look good here.

    • Ten Ten

      She looks like she visited an Egyptian tomb and left with a bunch of scaribs all over her dress. Sigh. No.

    • kikisayshi

      I think it’s a really pretty dress, but she seems to be drowning in it. And again, WTF with those shoes?! I was under the impression that platforms were on their way out. Alas, maybe next season . . .

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      The tan, the hair and the shoes – no, no, no.  I really like the dress though and the clutch.  The colors are gorgeous!  I’d love to see her try it again with better hair, lighter shoes and wayyyyyy ligther skin.   The shoes are just wrong and I hope we are not going to keep seeing them!

    • Katie Riley

      She looks so much tanner than normal, and it’s freaking me out a little bit. Disturbs me more than the dress. 

    • Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      In which ugly ass shoes usher in the Mayan Apocalypse. 

    • Lauren Dorsee Dillon

      Also, I am terrified the beads are actually scarab beetles a la “The Mummy”. At any moment, they will come to life and burrow under her skin and that of everyone around her. Ugly shoes plus scarab beetles, more apocalyptic allusions. 

    • Introspective

      a hot shitty steaming bowl of mess.

      girl bye.

    • R81

      What, I loved this dress and shoes on her, she looks great…sans the tan.

    • jw_ny

      I agree it’s not the right dress for her and those clunky shoes are totally wrong for her/the outfit.

      It’s not a horrible dress on her…it is heavy and a bit overwhelming tho.  It’s rather unfortunate that the lattice panel of the dress and the fake hedge behind her gives the illusion she’s just part of the landscaping.   

    • crash1212

      I like her hair…and the clutch and think it was a good choice for the dress. However, none of this looks very good on her for all the reasons stated by TLo.

    • tallgirl1204

      Dissenting opinion:  I think it looks beautiful on her, and changes up her cotton-candy sweetness in a good way.  Still sweet, but maybe a dark chocolate heath-bar kind of thing? 

    • SewingSiren

      I like on her. My only quib is that the length (which I like) and the shoes (which I also like) don’t quite go so well together.

    • charlotte

      Girl you are not that generic.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      Girl, that’s not your skin color either….

    • Vera L-

      The shoes look like she’s gearing up to kick James Bond. 

      I do love the clutch, didn’t we see it a few days ago in gold?

    • ralish

      I actually think she’s wearing the dress quite nicely– it’s the hair/bronzer/shoe combo that’s messing this all up.

    • Nicholas

      She will literally come home from that event and turn from Jersey Shore material to principessa after she’s taken a shower.

      Honey, your stylist(s) must want you dead. It is the only explanation.

    • PeggyOC

      Also, how cheap-ass is the construction on this that the beaded grid lines don’t match up between the front and the back of the skirt.  I mean, that’s dress-making 101.  I learned to match lines in 7th grade home-ec class!

    • Verascity

      Girl, that’s not your TAN.

    • afabulous50

      This is a girl who seriously needs some gays…she is unable to dress herself.

    • Gabriella M

      I can’t stand it when blondes match their tan to their hair. I start seeing them as strangely monochromatic beings, like a sepia photograph that came to life. 
      On the same note, the colors in this just make her look even more flat. It’s like she’s a sepia photograph that walked through a bunch of sharpie scribbles on the surface of her photo as she emerged.
      Yeah, weird things pop into my head when I’m sleep-deprived and exam-stressed. 

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Oh, the tan.  Michael Kors isn’t even that orange.

    • Janet B

      I thought the best part of this look was the dress, until Kiltdntiltd mentioned the bugs.

    • decormaven

      Who can see anything when blinded by all that bronzer? Nothing is working here- nada, zip.

    • MissMariRose

      Oh Gawd. Are ugly chunky shoes coming back?! Please tell me ugly chunky shoes aren’t coming back.

      • Lilithcat

        Not in my house they’re not!

    • bertkeeter

      Maybe with out all that stop and start beading? Hate color of bag…too pancakey?

    • Snailstsichr

      Keep the clutch and dump everything else, including the tanner. No, on second thought, send me the clutch and start over.

    • kschwarting

      Did she fall into Lea Michele’s vat of self-tanner (or worse yet, go tanning)?  I miss her lovely pale skin.

    • Martha Hicks Leta

      The bottom of this dress freaks me out. It looks like it’s being consumed by swarm of hissing cockroaches. Cut the dress off above the knee and you might have something. The hair is cute, but I agree, the rest is all too heavy for her. 

      • l_c_ann

        We had to clean out a drain on the sidewalk next to our townhouse in the French Quarter (someone stuffed a go-cup in the drain below our gutter downspout), and swarm of cockroaches is the perfect description.  Unforgettable in a bad way.

    • Tatiana Luján

      If she didn’t tan and the hem of the dress hit were it’s supposed to, I think she could pull this off.

    • kimmeister

      Ah, now I can see what’s on the top of those shoes.  Butterflies!  Quick, someone hide these from Michelle Williams.

    • Dhammadina

      Too much dress. 

    • Jaeda Laurez

      I like the dress on her actually, but i hate the styling with a passion. She went really hard in the spray tan booth, so there’s that. But I think it just needs a bit of tweaking to be good- by pulling the black with her accessories, she made it unnecessarily heavy. I would have done a pointy-toed non-platform pump in the color of her bag, and maybe gone with a similar clutch in the grey, to tie in with the belt, and given it a lighter treatment.

      • MilaXX

         I think you are onto something. In fact if she swapped the platforms for a grey pump, I’d be okay with the clutch

    • CeeQ

      I think the whole issue here is the tanning overload. It’s ruined the whole look – otherwise I actually like this dress on her. Plus the shoes are wrong – Keira’s outfit suited these shoes better. Agron looks unnatural here with that hair + near orange skin and it’s all I can see. Also the make-up isn’t working. She looks plastic, like a literal barbie doll.

    • kategs

      That isn’t anyone’s dress!

    • Imasewsure

      Love the dress, love the shoes, find the Barbie head interesting but agree with TLo that it’s “endulling” on her…. great pieces for someone else… but at least she isn’t dressing like a toddler this time!

    • MilaXX

      I’d say this is a much more successful look than yesterday. I agree Zoe or Kiera would wear this better, but if she lost that awful fake tan and wore a pair of simple black pumps, I’d give this a pass.

    • Sara__B

      The tan and the haircut are her biggest problems here.

    • sully27

      Had I not seen her name in the title, I would have thought this was Britney Spears upon first glance.

    • 3boysful

      Can’t comment on the dress because the shoes are burning my eyeballs.

    • Paula Pertile

      Beaded garden trellis. With butterflies! 

    • Larkin21

      Nothing working here. I hope she stops tanning post haste. Does not look good on her.

    • Violina23

      I think with better shoes and less bangs, this could be cute…

    • Sarah Caponigro

      I think if it was a sleeveless version it might have worked.

    • Kate4queen

      I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress.

    • Sarah Thomas

      Dress is okay. I can’t with the hair. She looks like a youth minister’s beard who’s going to end up in pieces in trash bags when he finally snaps. 

    • formerlyAnon

      Must be something wrong with me. I was tentative about the shoes on Ms. Knightley and I love them here.

      I think it’s the hair & skin tone she needs to address most urgently. Not that either are awful, but they are very Cali girl-specific.

    • Kate Gorton

      …or your skin color. Yeesh. 

    • The Dose of Reality

      Also, girl that is not your hair style. Set it free. 

    • sleah_in_norcal

      as much as i love you two kitten-lovers, i must beg to differ.  i think she looks adorbs.  something about the vintage-ish print with the jet beads is calling me back to 1972, esp. with the platforms.  and butterflies!  it would have been a good work outfit for a flower child who has finally admitted that we all need money.  anyways, i have some sort of inner ear situation that has been giving me the spins for days, so that may have something to do with it.  anyways…….

    • holalala

      I think the dress could be cute with radically different hair make up and a more delicate shoe

    • tmetz85

      I don’t really mind the dress. However, the color of it really accentuates her orange skin. I could also do without the matchy-matchy belt and shoes. At least her makeup looks good? 

    • Pamela

      HATE.  SHOES.

    • librarygrrl64

      Still hating those shoes.

    • Bob Sponge

      I don’t know if it’s the haircut or what, but for a moment I thought she was Lea Michele going blonde.

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Miss Agron, step away from Lea Michele’s makeup spackler this instant.   I’ll turn this red carpet right around if I have to!

    • CarolinLA

      She needs to take a small page from the Lea Michele playbook:  Hollywood wants its starlets to be SEXY.  I’m surprised her “team” hasn’t drummed that into her head that she needs to start showing a little leg (WITHOUT clumpy shoes) and a little cleavage to ensure more longevity to her career.  Glee isn’t going to last forever (thank GOD) so she needs to plan ahead.

    • marlie

      Love the dress. HATE the shoes. Neither on Dianna. 

    • prettybigkitty

      Who is that?   Does not compute. 

    • Jessica Sanborn

      Girl, that’s not your skin color.

    • frankystein123

      She looks like an old hag in this sad getup. Harsh but true.

    • TRSTL

      I love this dress and think it is actually not a bad fit for her.  To my eyes, those shoes are so wrong!   With the dark beading at the hem, the large dark shoes just make the whole look so bottom heavy. A metallic more delicate shoe would have been better.  And for the love of god, lay off the tanner!!

    • Nora M.

      Why are shoes time traveling from 1997?

    • TAGinMO

      I actually love this look on her. 

    • Magdalena Monzerrat Ontiveros

      Love the shoes!!!

    • Maya

      i didn’t even recognize her. she looks like the blond girl from the big bang theory…kylie cuoco?

    • Ann Bagley

      I don’t mind the dress so much, but the shoes and make-up are killing any chances of her looking presentable.

    • alwaysanswerb

      I don’t mind the dress; it’s the tan that sets off the fashion victim alarm here.