Victoria’s Secret 2012 Fashion Show Part 1

Posted on November 08, 2012

Yes, darlings! It’s time once again for us to look at the most ridiculously cracktastic runway show in the history of fashion! Granted, we’re not attracted to women, so the point of all of this is lost on us, but that never stopped us from offering an opinion before. This year, the brand took the bold move of choosing the theme of … HOOKERS!

Totally unexpected!

 

Birthday Clown Hooker!

 

Disco-Tron hooker!

 

Flightless Bird Hooker!

 

Ethnic Stereotype hooker!

 

Magic Hooker!

Ambitious Hooker!

 

Nutcracker Hooker!

 

Wonder Hooker!

 

Tattoo Parlor Hooker!

 

Georgia O’Hooker!

 

Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Hooker!

 

Scarlett O’Hooker!

 

Peacock Hooker!

 

Mugler rip-off hooker!

 

Heavenly Hooker!

 

Plain Old Hooker!

 

Pedo-hooker!

 

More hookers to come, kittens.

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Georgia O’Hooker!  Brilliant!

    • Squarah

      I just about spit out my coffee at that one!

      • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

        Why have I not yet learned to never have food or drink in my mouth when reading TLO?

    • Patricia Hoffman

      This one is my favorite as well!

      • Kristin McNamara

        Mine too. AND IT’S SO EXACTLY WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE. hahahaha

    • LJCdoc

      Georgia O’Hooker made me lol on the middle of the coffee shop. Glad I wasn’t drinking!

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         I thought that one was Remembrance Day Hooker. It is November!

        • Kristin McNamara

          Also good.

        • schadenfreudelicious

          Me too, but that may be the Canadians/Brits talking :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julie-Chase/731391326 Julie Chase

      Best one in the bunch!

    • http://twitter.com/aidanboleyn Aidan B

      Almost spit out my yogurt on that one. Closely followed by Scarlett O’Hooker. Hahaha.

    • Le_Sigh

      It made me spit up my water.

    • Judih1

      Thanks goodness TLO gives us something to smile about amid this tasteless, trashy, T&A freakshow

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

       Epic drag queen name win: Georgia O’Hooker

    • http://twitter.com/annalizlobo Anna Elizabeth

       I totally lost it at Georgia O’Hooker. I think I scared people with my cackling.

  • another_laura

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Weeping over my keyboard!  In a field of favorite names, “Scarlett O’Hooker” is the winner…. so far….

  • Susan Collier

    Georgia O’Hooker! Mugler Rip-Off Hooker!

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      I thought Mugler Ripoff was Sexualizing Scoliosis Hooker. 

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        lol!  stop!

  • Photonix

    That second one is totally Neon Genesis Evangelion plug suit Hooker.

    • http://twitter.com/Raiphin Raiphin Hunter

      YES YES SHE IS. :|

    • lorelark

       Glad I’m not the only one who knew that.

    • Reneesance

      Oh good, because I was afraid it was Buzz Lightyear Hooker and I was getting squicked…and then I saw the last one and I WAS squicked.

      • bittykitty

         i KNOW! my first thought was, “buzz lightyear”… sigh… i need to watch some age appropriate movies sometime…

        • Kristin McNamara

          Buzz Lightyear Hooker’s boobs look oddly deformed, don’t they? Or in pain. Or both.

    • renquise

       Oh my god, I am so glad I’m not the only one who saw that.

      • newtonGOTbeaned

         For the second one, I’m seeing Disco Clone Trooper Hooker. Although Buzz Lightyear Hooker is also eerily accurate…

    • hoez

      Rei Ayanami realness. Like.. literally.

    • MK03

      My reaction was literally “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, VICTORIA’S SECRET.” It’s insane how badly I want that. Especially if it came in Asuka.

    • http://twitter.com/maryssaraptor Marissa Illustrious

      One of my friends works on these shows, and she said the designer of that one originally had it even closer to the plugsuit design, and had to change it. Bet he thought he could rip it off and get away with it, ugh!

  • http://twitter.com/thisiscarlijn Carlijn Kruidhof

    This post is complete bullshit. All women wearing sexy underwear are hookers? That is SEXIST. And surely you can do better than just calling every look ‘something-hooker’?

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Joking, right??

    • charlotte

       Come on, don’t tell me you didn’t laugh.

    • Sobaika

      Don’t know about you, but I have nothing against sex-workers of any kind. 

      - Couch Potato Hooker

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        tee hee!
        - Stay At Home Hooker

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Can I be Kiltie-Hooker?

          • Cathy S

             Anything you want.  As long as sexy kilts are involved.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             Of course!  I’ll have to make a special one that only barely covers my bits, front and back.  However, a short, somewhat rounded, middle aged hookerman, will certainly change the tone of the event.

          • HomeOfficeGirl

            But, what you’ll be missing in Kilt coverage – you can make up with a fabulous over the top hat!  See, it IS all in good fun!  ;-)

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             And I do love me a great hat!  Actually millinery work is a lot of fun, and I enjoy making hats for my clients’ costumes.

          • bionicgyal1

            Kilt-of-a-certain-age hooker!

      • schadenfreudelicious

        hear, hear 
        -Snowed-In Canadian Hooker….

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        I have to do it…….Crochet Hooker!

        • Cathy S

           Crochet Hooker is my favorite. :)

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             Hooked Rug Hooker?

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            Shag rug hooker?

        • boomchicabowwow

          Latch Hooker!!

      • bittykitty

         bwahahah!
        i guess i’m “harried housewife hooker”

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      “All women wearing sexy underwear are hookers? That is SEXIST.”

      It sure is! How dare we say something like th– Oh, wait. We didn’t say anything like that. Sorry. Carry on with your delusional, humorless rantings.

      • EveEve

        There’s a reason we’re not seeing  ”The Row Rip-off Hooker” in this line up! 

      • http://twitter.com/FuLinlin FuLinlin

         The funny thing is I didn’t see anything that I found remotely sexy. And actually a lot of it doesn’t look like underwear at all? No, woman in sexy underwear aren’t automatically hookers. Women in tacky, cheap looking and quite revealing costumes on platform high-heels do tend to look hookers. Which doesn’t mean that they are necessarily hookers.

    • http://www.djplaw.com/ Tadiana

      You really think that’s what they’re saying?  Loosen your corset strings, unclutch your pearls and have a laugh.  You have to admit that Georgia O’Hooker is sheer genius.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sara.e.parker Sara Parker

      You’re so right! The Victoria’s Secret fashion show is the APEX OF FEMINISM. Making fun of it is SEXIST.  And this post is IN NO WAY hilarious! I certainly DID NOT laugh, particularly at “Flightless bird hooker” or “Scarlett O’Hooker.” Because I am a feminist, and tacky lingerie deserves my respect.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elaine-Lang/100000366510311 Elaine Lang

         Yes.   So true.   Verily, my consciousness has been raised today.

        ~~~Freelance Hooker on Deadline

        • nancylee61

          I liked this, especially because you used the word “verily”!!!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/3HARQMG4KFGOFWU2USY3HO3PGE Katherine

       Whoaaa, someone has a bug up their butt. Seriously, learn to appreciate the TLo humor we know and love.

      • H3ff

        Dutch people aren’t generally known for their sense of humour.

    • LauraWL

      Haha. I don’t think T & L ever said all women wearing sexy underwear are hookers. I believe they implied that these women, dressed in lingerie and silly costumes walking down a runway *look* like hookers. 

    • alyce1213

      Your comment assumes this underwear is sexy. It is not, it is ridiculous , jokey, and demeaning. It is cheesy crap.

    • http://profiles.google.com/susanvmayer Susan Mayer

      Are you new to TLo?  They make fun of everyone, and that includes the annual post about this event.  Lighten up, VSFS has morphed into a glorified festival of Halloween hooker costumes.

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      You’re not from around here, are you?

    • kittwin

       I didn’t call you a ho. I said you had ho style!

    • nancylee61

      I think you miss the point. Victoria’s Secret is all about sexualizing women. We are making fun of those who sexualize women!! This is not just women wearing sexy underwear. This is making women very obvious sexual fantasies. How many of these women are dressed like they even know how to read?? It is sexualizing, plain and simple. I couldn’t imagine not laughing at how ridiculous these women look!

    • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

      I was also a bit put off by the hooker joke to be honest. I know you guy’s don’t really mean anything by it, but it’s just such a negative term and women are too often shamed for being sexy, while at the same time being expected to be just that.I’m not frothing in feminist rage or anything, but the joke fell flat for me.

       I do love these Victoria’s secret posts though. 

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        It just amazes us that anyone can look at these women in these outrageous getups and think any joke made about them is supposed to apply to all women everywhere. No one, least of all us, is “shaming women for being sexy.” We’re making fun out ridiculous costumes.

        • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

          I didn’t say you were shaming these women for being sexy. I said it was a term that was often used to shame women and thus doesn’t have a good vibe for me.  

  • MoHub

    But. ya know, I’m kinda craving the shamrock wings.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       I want Magic Hooker’s star hat.

    • Cathy S

      Ethnic Stereotype hooker was my favorite, until I got to the circus hooker. I love everything about that outfit, but especially the boots and that jacket/skirt/cape thingie.

  • charlotte

    Thanks for making me laugh! I love Georgia and Scarlett O’Hooker and look forward to seeing them reappear as Chloe S.’ alters soon.

  • NDC_IPCentral

    I needed the chuckle.  I was trying to anticipate your christenings of these extravaganzas (and, boy, I’m being beneficent with that noun), but you topped my expectations each time.

    My call for the first get-up, though, would have been Wonder Bread Hooker.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

       I STILL quote “its so gay it farts glitter” from LAST year….

      • twocee

         Ah yes.  The line that made me literally spit coffee onto my keyboard. 

    • kimmeister

      Those are the exact colors of Wonder Bread circles, aren’t they?  Good call!

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    I don’t get the “fashion” show either, but it’s certainly crackstastic.

  • GorgeousThings

    My god, their breasts look pained. 
    I am practically peeing my pants at your descriptions!I would call Magic Hooker “Circus Pony Hooker”And the last would be “Alice in Hookerland”

    • LJCdoc

      Alice in Hookerland is sheer genius!

    • Introspective

      the last is just… disturbing. pedo-hooker is definitely appropriate. she looks like a child in the face and then the outfit? and in the context of all those other outfits???  just, ewww Victoria’s secret. EWWWW.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jessica.l.wyatt Jessica Wyatt

    Does anybody else think that Disco-Tron hooker looks a lot like a Buzz Lightyear hooker?

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      To infinity and beyond!

      • Lingus

        No, it’s even better: She’s actually a hooker cosplaying Rei Ayanami of Neon Genesis Evangelion, the most fetishized 14-year-old in all of anime history!
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rei_Ayanami

        Even as a straight female, I want to applaud Victoria’s Secret for the brilliant fan service.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    OMG, brilliant post, boys. And let me say this: I LOVE me some nice lingerie, but can’t STAND Vicky’s Secret. I can’t even bear to go into that store. Never got the appeal of their cheaply made, overpriced for the quality, poorly-fitting, tacky-ass shit.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I think that Victoria’s Secret success was built on taking some tacky-ass shit from Fredericks of Hollywood and making it safe for suburban mall shoppers.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Which is funny b/c I actually like Fredrick’s – they do tacky lingerie but don’t try to cover up what they’re doing. I’ve gotten some fun things there (my BF really loves that aesthetic, hilariously or not).

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          Ala Frederick’s of Hollywood, one of the longest lasting local businesses in our local mall is a sexy lingerie shop named “Luv’n Time”. It’s just a bit bigger than a hole in the wall, always has the most amazingly tacky window displays, and has outlasted countless other stores in the same mall.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

            Omigod, I bet they have AWESOME stuff.

    • http://twitter.com/starrika Ali

       I think it appeals because it’s actually *there*. Buying lingerie online is a pain in the ass, considering fit issues, so at least for me in suburban midwest USA, it’s Victoria’s Secret or department stores. And the department stores in my area always look like a bomb went off in it, rarely have a decent selection, and are staffed by fusty old ladies who give you the side eye when you want something other than boring nude/white/black solid.

      But that’s just me.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/21151157@N00/ rawrgrowlrawr

      I stopped going to Victoria’s Secret when they released the bra that supposedly makes your boobs look two cup sizes bigger. I don’t want to give my money to a corporation that makes small chested women feel automatically inferior. It’s gross.  

      • LesYeuxHiboux

        I stopped going when they dropped my cup size from their range. Narrowing in on a C-cup from both ends! The only bust size women are allowed to have. I have also warned my niece off their “fitting” technique of suggesting a larger band size if you don’t fit into their range of cup sizes. 

        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/21151157@N00/ rawrgrowlrawr

          Your boobs deserve better! I taught a student-run Mad Men course at school and one lecture was about modern advertising. Victoria’s Secret was my primary focus. It was incredibly sad how many of the girls in the class discussed the self-esteem issues that surface whenever they encounter anything from that brand. Not exactly a ringing endorsement for a company that should cater to women.

          • bitchybitchybitchy

            You would think that VS would cater to women, but their models do present such a fantasy of the female body-big breasts, tiny waist and barely there hips.  I understand they probably are marketing to a younger demographic, but they’re still selling an unachievable body image for many.  OK, rant over.

          • http://www.flickr.com/photos/21151157@N00/ rawrgrowlrawr

            The fact that they *are* marketing to a younger demographic is kind of disgusting. I’ve seen girls who could not be a day over 14 shopping there and it just makes me sad. My mom would never let me buy “sexy” underwear at that age.

      • kimmeister

        What’s super awesome is when it comes in C and D cups.  Really?  If you’re already a D, do you need them to be bigger?

        One time a sales gal there told me I’d get some promotion if I just tried on their new Blah Blah bra.  I agreed, she asked for my size, and then informed me they don’t have anything smaller than 34B in that bra.  Pffft.

        • julnyes

          Argh – that drives me mad. For a long time I couldn’t find anyplace selling C/D cup bras without those stupid gel inserts sewn into the bras. I don’t need bigger boobs and I sure don’t need my real ones pushed up into some insane death defying cleavage! All I wanted was a full cup bra with underwire – finally found some simple ones at H&M of all places.

          • RebeccaKW

             Yes.  I hate finding a 42DD and then seeing the tag that it’s a push-up bra.  Um, I’m spilling out of my turtleneck as it is, I don’t need any pushing up.  Or those demi bras-woo, like balancing a tray of dishes.  One misstep, and your spilling out on everyone.

        • http://www.flickr.com/photos/21151157@N00/ rawrgrowlrawr

          I’m so glad other people are aware of this issue. My friends tell me I am weird whenever I go on one of my rants. I tell them being aware of the manipulative techniques in advertising is not weird, but instead they ignore me and continue shopping at Victoria’s Secret. Right now my moniker definitely suits me!

    • Introspective

      theyre known for using sweatshop labor in various parts of the third world to construct their stuff. a friend of mine from the DR has boycotted them for years because of their exploitation of dominican garment workers. so ‘cheaply made’ is an understatement

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

        Yup. This too.

  • mjude

    the only reason to pay attention to the “fashion” show is because of TLO.  BRILLIANT BOYS, BRILLIANT!

  • l_c_ann

    Several of these are straight (heh, heh) out of the Crew of Petronius.

  • http://twitter.com/AllForUSophia AllForUSophia

    The most disturbing site is Justin Bieber in that last pic. Absolutely frightening!

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      OMG, you’re right!

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, I saw that and alternated between laughing hysterically and feeling icky.

  • SarahStiletto

    I look at #2 and all I can see is Buzz Lightyear. I think it’s the little green panels that take me there.

  • Sara LaBatt

    Should  not have taken a sip of tea before reading this.  Hilarious!  On tattoo parlor hooker, is there a little bit of tulle coming out of  each side of the front of the panties?  Because I totally thought at first she had a grooming situation going on there!  Who designs panties like that??

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XAFAJ53QF3DLEFQB3WTLMRM75E MarinaB

    Absolutely perfect.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/2LIE6ISFQUBIAO7OB6U5TAVXXQ Depot'er

    oh thank god for them…ALWAYS good for a screaming fit of giggles in the middle of the day! bless you!
     

  • http://lucifyr.livejournal.com/ lucifyr

    I dunno.. I thought Scarlett O’Hooker was more a Marie Antoi-hooker

  • IAmJ

    Ohhh, it’s the most wonderful time of the year!
    “Georgia O’Hooker” and “Scarlett O’Hooker”? Genius.

    • LJCdoc

      I think Ethnic Stereotype Hooker should be Paddy O’Hooker, just to keep the theme going.

  • Ms_Winston

    Several years ago they seemed to actually sell some of these things in the store.  I presume they no longer sell these “looks” and it’s purely for the show now?  I mean, you can’t literally buy the shamrock bra right? VS has the worst quality “lingerie” ever.  Expensive, but it looks and feels cheap as hell.

    • Mary229

      The Victoria’s Secret Brand has changed drastically in the last decade and the fashion show has changed along with it.  For one, the models used to be older.  Many of the most famous VS models even 7-8 years ago were over the age of 30.  Yes, they used to model actual lingerie that you could purchase.   And I don’t want to get into a touchy discussion about weight, but the women also used to have more diverse body types.   I just have no interest in the store anymore.

      • kimmeister

        Now, half of their merchandise seems to be aimed at teenagers.

      • Ms_Winston

        @ Ali I guess it’s just a matter of the actual bra/panties being surrounded by the costumes?  The costumes are so ridic that it overwhelms it all.
        Yes, I remember when the catalog used to come and it was actually aimed at the women in our house.  Regarding diverse body types–for sure.  Tyra, Heidi and different-shaped models. Now the requirement basically seems to be giant tatas, the end.  

    • http://twitter.com/starrika Ali

       I own Miranda Kerr’s ivory and black bra. I think some are sold and some are obviously costume. And some of the costumes do show up online, but not in stores.

    • RebeccaKW

       I think VS is missing the boat.  The should do this show in August or September, then market these as Halloween Costumes.

  • EverybodysStarling

    Tattoo parlor hooker made me think of the Big Bang Theory episode with Howard’s tattoo sleeves. :D

  • CPK1

    Hilarious. My faves this year  are plain old hooker and Georgia O’Hooker. Brilliant!

  • CPK1

    Everyone’s breasts look wack but Disco-tron hooker’s are off the charts

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

       Yes, poor Disco-Tron should have gone to a better surgeon.

      • shirab

        Are any of them sporting natural boobs? Any at all?

        • charlotte

           Well there is a chance with Alice in Hookerland/ Pedo Hooker because hers aren’t exposed.

        • Lisa_Cop

          Doubt it. And obviously fake boobs pushed up to a bony sternum is not a good look.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    As Gorgeous Things said, that final model could certainly be “Alice in Hookerland”. The ethnic stereotype could be subtitled “Erin Go WonderBra”

    • http://twitter.com/starrika Ali

       Erin Go WonderBra is comedy gold!

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I’m old enough to remember the Maidenform Bra company’s ads that were all variations of “I dreamed I went to Ireland and kissed the Blarney Stone in my Maidenform bra”!

  • f_yeah_marie

    Some of these models got a heavy dose of spray tan, it seems

    • oohsparkley!

      I thought it looked like they had “shadows” and muscle definitions sprayed on to legs and stomachs on some of them. Looked wierd.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=14301272 Kate Gorton

    I don’t even get it. 

  • VioletFlame

    Coffee over the keyboard Spew. You guys always brighten my day.

  • dress_up_doll

    Thanks, boys! I love this show and had forgotten it was on until late last night. I actually remember a time when the show wasn’t so cracktacular and showed some decent looks. Now, it’s just a circus o’ cracktastic whorewear. And I love it! Thanks for the laughs and featuring this time honored tradtion.

  • Frank_821

    Oh yes. I was wondering if you were going to cover this again. The absurdity is beyond entertaining. although I did like ambitious hooker. she looks kind of drag queen fabulous

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

    What I love is that some of these hookers actually have a bit of heft to them!  They’re not all anorexic looking, and that’s amazing!

    • kimmeister

      I’m impressed that an Asian woman finally made it to their runway!

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, several of them have visible muscle tone.  That is one nice thing to say about this.

  • alyce1213

    Hilarious post.  I loathe everything about Victoria’s Secret, the go-to spot for middle-aged men to get cheesy, whorey lingerie for their mistresses — and think they’re buying the good stuff.
    The models are all clones of one another, totally boring.
    The outfits are ridiculous and demeaning.

  • Contralto

    I love you guys so, so much.  Seriously.  This post made me whoop so loud, I woke the cat.

  • afabulous50

    Fantastic!  This “fashion show” is such a joke anyway!

  • Greg Burchard

    crotch feathers on Tattoo parlor Hooker are…. unfortunate.

  • BrooklynBomber

    BRILLIANT!

    I thought the last one was Alice in Wonder-hooker, but I think Pedo-hooker is more to the point. 

    Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Hooker!
    Georgia O’Hooker 
    Genius

  • xmixiex

    I would have gone with Hooker in Wonderland for Pedo-Hooker, myself!  Otherwise, Bravo!

  • maygoon

    Nutcracker Hooker sounds like some kind of avenging-angel superhero hooker, attacking bad johns by assaulting their genital region.

  • Dhammadina

    Best captions EVER!

  • http://xoxotara.wordpress.com Tara Melissa

    I have to set the record straight. That second one can’t be ANYTHING but Rei Ayanami Cosplay Hooker. 

    • maygoon

       My first thought was Buzz Lightyear Hooker, but clearly I was mistaken! 

    • Verascity

       Oh, good, someone DID say it. I was like, that ain’t no Disco Tron, that is serving STRAIGHT UP Eva 00 realness.

  • Judy_J

    Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

  • susan6

    Hmmm….Ethnic Stereotype Hooker’s chest looks bolted on.  And Pedo-hooker….way too young-looking, way too disturbing.

  • Inspector_Gidget

    In other news, NBC has picked up Heavenly Hooker as a spring replacement series.

  • Chillmer

    I have to give them props for the diverse runway!

  • Pants_are_a_must

    I think “Ambitious Hooker” should be “Guardian Hooker of Vegas”.

  • Imasewsure

    And I’m displaying my ignorance here, but what items exactly are they selling in this fash-hole show? I guess it’s just the glory of brand awareness???
    Me don’t get it (but then again, I am very aware that this brand is crap no matter how many hooker-supermodels go stomping down the runway)…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Teresa-Rebecca-Cunningham/100000219160779 Teresa Rebecca Cunningham

    I will say this for Icky Vicky, when the National Guard came calling on them for help during Sandy, VS loaned out generators, forklifts and other supplies. So, I don’t like their products or their stores but I guess I like the company.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

       I thought you were going to say that they donated stockings and padded bras to the cause.

  • AnaRoW

    I just knew the last one was going to be “Alice in Hookerland”.  Oh well.

    • buildmeatower

       Same here!

  • MilaXX

    LOL, I played this game where I named them and then scrolled down to see what you had named them. Sadly I only got 2 correct. Nutcracker Hooker and Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Hooker

    That Alice in Wonderland looking hooker aka pedo Hooker is creepy even for VS.

  • http://aldonsusi.blogspot.com/ Susi R

    LOL! You really made me laugh today!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=122613264 Carly Warnock

    What the frickity frack is Justin Bieber wearing?!? Can we please all comment on his HOrrendous style. 

  • Cathy S

    Mugler rip-off hooker is riding a bicycle? Well, at least the handlebar part. What the hell is that? But what is Disco-Tron hooker wearing? The way that . . . thing comes down to her booties, it looks like she has hooves. Like robot zebra hooker or something.

  • http://chibirobot.blogspot.com/ Wendy Ann

    I lost it at Scarlett O’Hooker!  You guys are great!

  • decormaven

    BWAH! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I’m still cackling over “Magic Hooker.” And what the heck is Justin Bieber wearing? Vinyl puffy vest and pleather pants? 

  • kimmeister

    I’m confused by Pedo’s hair bow and skirt.  Are they made out of construction paper that’s been drawn on?

    • PinkLemon

       it seems so….like she’s a paper doll or something

  • Nicholas

    Ms Ambitious looks like she’s dressed like Hurricane Sandy.

    And calling this a “fashion show” without quotes is a tragedy.

  • Peeve

    Georgia O’Hooker: first belly laugh of the day! Thank you, gentlemen.

  • twocee

    Wonder Hooker!  Where is her invisible plane?  Mugler Hooker has what might be the most ridiculous accessory in the history of this “fashion” show, and that is saying something!

  • http://twitter.com/aidanboleyn Aidan B

    I don’t see how any of this is supposed the least bit attractive. What drugs are these stylists on? (Some of the models seem to have taken some as well)

  • http://profiles.google.com/scaponigro Sarah Caponigro

    NUTCRACKER HOOKER! HAhHAHha  The odd black mesh and lace panels near the groin area are well coming off…….like something more natural especially on Scarlett and Tattoo.

  • Sarah Thomas

    Disco-Tron Hooker looks like she used to work for Cerberus.

  • Nicole Chubb

    I look forward to the VS show every year because of your commentary.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

    Where is this “fashion show” held? It would be hilarious to attend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cindyloohoo19 Cindy Bartlett Zigler

    LOVE your descriptions of each of the models, TLO!  Brilliant!  Let’s face it, Victoria’s Secret has never been known for high fashion, and the way the girls are dressed are complete fantasty, so why not have a little fun with it?  I was not offended in the least.  :-D

  • Reneesance

    Georgia O’Hooker *snort* Love you guys!

  • xay

    You had me in tears at Birthday Clown Hooker. I love you guys so much.

  • http://twitter.com/NickEck Nick Eck

    I’m seeing Disney all over this:

    Disco-Tron hooker! = Buzz Lightyear
    Nutcracker Hooker! = Mickey Mouse Band Leader
    Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Hooker! = Mickey Mouse Circus Ringmaster
    Peacock Hooker! = Belle B&TB 
    Pedo-hooker! = Disney Alice in Wonderland

  • SewingSiren

    Trash.

  • rab01

    Am I the only one who heard the theme song to “Wonder Hooker” start up as soon as you read the caption?  Also, “Nutcracker Hooker” made me wince but the last picture made me cringe even before reading the caption.

  • jmorino08

    But what we really want to know is, What was Beebz wearing?

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Lost it at ‘Georgia O’Hooker.’  You guys kill me.  

  • Winter_White

    “Flightless” bird hooker?  I dunno…her wings are sad, but look at that umbrella!  I think that if she got a running start, then caught an updraft followed by a good tailwind, she might get up there.

  • Call me Bee

    My eyes!  Too many babyheads! 

  • snarkykitten

    I lost it at Georgia O’Hooker

  • Rand Ortega

    You guys are hilarious! But what does any of these outfits have to do w/ Victoria’s Secret? Or underwear? Or fashion? Or anything?

  • PastryGoddess

    Thank you for this TLo.  Now I have to answer phone calls with Georgia O’Hooker in my head

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    I’m pretty sure EVEN if I looked like Gisele nothing could convince me to disgrace myself by appearing in this fashion show. This is really just the worst thing ever. But I secretly love it in the same way I secretly love watching Miss America and Say Yes To The Dress. 

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Ah, Say Yes to the Dress-my favorite Bridal Porn-between the dresses and the collection of neurotic bridezillas that is reality show gold.

  • Kenisha Hill Phillips

    I got a Storm from X-Men vibe from Ambitious Hooker, so I’ll call her Storm Hooker.

  • A B

    You guys are gonna get me fired!  I was laughing so hard tears were flowing!

  • JimMcC

    Further evidence I’ll never be able to discern whether something has been Photoshopped: I could have sworn Flightless Bird Hooker’s face came from another photo even though I know it’s not the case.

  • Fordzo

    Is that Justin Bieber?  Why is his crotch so saggy?  I’m more baffled by his look than by any of the lingerie.

    Well…maybe the bicycle-handle-bondage-device is more confusing.

  • Jessica sabat

    Actually…. taking a guess before scrolling down, led me to “Sponge Bob Hooker” where you saw “Peacock”.  Check out her Crabby Patties!

  • fnarf

    Well, I am attracted to women, and I still don’t know how to respond to these. I don’t think they’re sexy at all, but then, I’ve never found the bolt-on fake boob attractive. They are hilarious, though. The chick with the bicycle handlebars growing out of her chest is the best; am I supposed to make a “take her for a ride” joke? I’ll pass.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

    hilarious.

  • frannyprof

    Girl #2: Buzz Lightyear Hooker. 

  • kolokOlchik

    Georgia O’Hooker absolutely killed me!

  • Anathema_Device

    You guys have no idea how much I needed this today. Georgia O’Hooker made me full-on belly laugh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001998855370 Fatima Siddique

    lmao at Georgia O’ Hooker. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_U5LTVYHX32MGMMXR33G7TOXVR4 Magdalena Monzerrat Ontiveros

    Love the top model angels, hillary rhoda!!! 

  • PeaceBang

    Oh boys, you are killing me!!

  • Pinup Ghoul

    WHY? Just… WHY?
    The costumes are gawdy and awful. Men who want to watch scantily-clad women sashaying around via some sort of visual media will just watch porn. The only possible target audience for the VS “Fashion” show is Body Queens like Carmen Carrera and Yara Sofia.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BJTY6KY7LOR7MDOD6QCZUC3VVI Donna Tabor

    T-Lo, honeys, I AM a woman, and the point is lost on me, as well. 

  • marilyn

    I can’t stop laughing.  What are they supposed to be selling?

  • stubbornthoughts

    Or, what I like to call, Halloween in Las Vegas.

  • rtuko

    I believe there’s a Native American hooker making the rounds and horrifying people on the internet at the moment, too. Maybe in the next post?

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    Ambitious Hooker could also be known as Swan Hooker.

  • Snailstsichr

    Ambitious Hooker’s shoes make her look pigeon-toed. I hope it was OK that I looked at their shoes.  :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Louise-Bryan/1177213326 Louise Bryan

    Georgia O’Hooker…

    I’m wiping the tears off my face, while my daughter is asking why I’m laughing so much.

  • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

    Holy Hooker, Batman! I laughed so hard my cat left.  Also, I thought Hooker #2 was Buzz LightHooker.

  • Daenyx

    Being attracted to women does not confer understanding of this ‘fashion show,’ believe me.  >.>

    That said, “Georgia O’Hooker” made everything worth it!

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    This is HILARIOUS. 

  • oh_dear_oh_dear

    I was wondering if it was actually Rei but I thought “No way is there someone nerdy enough to do that working at Victoria’s Secret.” I know it’s trashy but damn, that makes me so happy.

    • Verascity

       It has to be Rei. It’s such an exact “slutty version” copy that that model could walk right into a con with it.

  • http://twitter.com/Nefatitij NEFA SAY DIE

    Hungry Hookers. too much bones showing.

  • boweryboy

    I look forwards to this post every year! 

  • Aurumgirl

    Is that Justin Beiber in white plastic, singing behind them?

  • jan lee

    Okay is it just me or does Pedo Hooker’s hairband and skirt both look weirdly CGI? Won’t be surprised either way, just asking!

  • LinXGUA

    Scarlett O’Hooker looks like the fairy princess of the hookers. She will make all your hooker dreams come true.

  • http://profiles.google.com/uchihafan05 Aaron Salitra

    The Tron one looks oddly familiar… http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4rG30GFoAEs/S7oGsHcwVBI/AAAAAAAAALw/ApJWGWCiOZs/s1600/rei-ayanami-waving.jpg

    • SayWTH

      See, I was thinking Buzz Lightyear. http://wpuploads.appadvice.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/buzz-lightyear-1.jpg

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=615561081 Scott Miller

    Looks like Pedo-hooker didn’t get the praise it deserved!

  • guest2visits

    These outfits are often so bad; all I do is wonder the entire show; who ‘creates’ these, who’s idea are they anyway ?
    They are so rarely attractive, they actually make the models look very dumb, very clownish.
    I’m sure the group thats is putting these together is having many a LOL moment backstage – but the spectacle that walks the RW is
    not a particularly sexy or flattering image.  I can’t see the gain for the models or the underwear company either.

  • lizlemonglasses

    “Georgia O’Hooker!” Oh T-Lo, never change.

  • http://twitter.com/fancypantsATX Dani Dudek

    The last one should be Alice in Hooker Land!

  • Kani G

    These getups scare the pants off me.

    Not that I’ve ever been a big fan of VS, though.  They don’t make lingerie in my size!

  • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

    I lost it at Georgia O’Hooker. XD

    • DebbieLovesShoes

      Ohmagosh… so funny…. followed closely by Scarlett O’Hooker

  • Matt

    I almost fell out of my chair with Georgia O’Hooker. Once in a lifetime, that one….

    • DebbieLovesShoes

      Me too

  • quiltrx

    You guys make this SO fun!  I never watch, I just wait to see you guys hit the hooker nails on the head.

    So…”shut up.  You had me at Georgia O’Hooker.”

  • http://twitter.com/m0llyharrington Molly Harrington ⚓

    Georgia O’Hooker! I’m dead. Perfect.

  • http://www.facebook.com/karoline.sobieski Karoline Sobieski

    Great collection.. must say…

  • http://twitter.com/nkk Nikki

    The first one looked like a wonder bread package!

  • librarygrrl64

    “Georgia O’Hooker!” Jesus, I love you guys.

  • http://twitter.com/foounke Pamela H

    Hope parents can keep their young daughters from seeing this!  Hookers are sure diverse.