RPDR All Stars: Iron Queen Competition

Posted on November 28, 2012

We’re not gonna lie, kittens. After writing as many words as we have on the topic, it gets pretty tough trying to come up with any thoughts on the latest reality competition; especially when it’s the wrapup of fairly lackluster season that nonetheless ended well.

Not that we minded this episode. It wasn’t exactly exciting, but it got the job done and we honestly weren’t sure who was going to get the tiara at the end, which can only be considered a good thing. We were fairly certain that Shannel was going to get her heart broken once again, but aside from that, it was anyone’s guess as to who Ru was going to crown.

Essentially, this challenge was a whole bunch of product placement and a chance for Ru to bring back some favorite queens who, for whatever reasons, didn’t compete for the All-Star title.

We didn’t mind too much because it was a challenge that was all about drag queens being drag queens; making appearances, working an audience, that sort of thing. And the ladies all looked incredibly stressed out by the whole thing, so we suspect they were really put through their paces. It wasn’t a breeze for any of them.

 

First up, an interview with Marc Malkin, entertainment journalist extraordinaire. We always thought he was really cute, in a tightly wound queen sort of way. Can’t fault the man for lack of color in his dressing, that’s for sure.

 

We wanted to slap Jujubee throughout the whole challenge. Whining that the other queens are grabbing the spotlight seems pretty ridiculous to us. THAT’S THE CHALLENGE, BITCH. Also, her outfits looked inexplicably frumpy all of a sudden. In fact, we’re a bit surprised to be saying this, but Chad was the one out of all of them who looked the most polished throughout the challenges. The rest of them were veering into hot mess territory. Then again, as we’ve said many times, Chad’s all about polish.

 

Next up, a key to the city of West Hollywood, a Hamburger Mary’s promotion, and a bit of a public appearance test. This is where Shannel fails, we think. Ru likes her girls to project extreme confidence and Shannel, when you give her a mike, tends to project low self esteem and neediness.

Once again, Chad was the most polished.

 

Raven was too, but – and this is why we think she didn’t win – she also relies a bit too much on the “I’m a bad girl who likes to fuck” image. Ru can be just a little prissy on that front. She doesn’t mind a sexy queen, but she tends to wrinkle her nose when it gets into slutty territory.

Jujubee did pretty well here too.

 

But she really shined at the comedy mike. Our only real issue with her routine is that she kinda fell into Margaret Cho territory, with the whole thing about her grandmother.

We didn’t think Chad was exactly hysterical or anything, but she’s adept at working a crowd and keeping her cool. She did well.

 

Raven did surprisingly well. We always thought she took herself too seriously, but she was loose and funny in her routine. But again, “I’m a bad girl who has sex, does drugs and went to jail” isn’t really the kind of thing Ru responds to. Props to her for going the funny route with her look, though. She’s so in love with her sexy self that we were impressed she took the risk and dressed up in full-on comedy queen drag.

Needy. And terribly unfunny.

 

Eleganza.

 

We think the catwalk was mostly an afterthought this week and didn’t really have much to do with the final decision. Still, we liked this look for Chad.

 

But MAN, we did NOT like this look for Jujubee. Possibly the worst thing she’s ever worn on the show. She really kind of fell apart at the end, didn’t she? This looks cheap and it’s not very flattering to her figure. The shoes are awful.

 

We don’t mind showgirl drag. It’s a longstanding drag genre and Shannel normally does it pretty well, but we’ve gotta say, she has to work on the fact that her drag adds at least 20 years to her age and 40 pounds to her figure. When she first did the competition she was capable of some jaw-droppinngly beautiful looks, but she’s lost the plot somehow. This is not good.

 

This seemed a bit unambitious to us. “I’m a sexy girl in lingerie. Watch me be sexy.” A little more effort when the tiara’s on the line, honey. And is it us, or did her makeup skills get weaker? Her face has been looking pretty harsh the past several weeks. Back in her first season, she managed to look gorgeous every time.

 

We didn’t think either of the two finalists really set the world on fire with their lip synch, but Raven fell back on sexy one time too many and that’s clearly not what Ru wants. Or to be more accurate, she wants her girls to show they’re capable of more than that. Chad is a performer, and that’s Ru’s whole bag.

 

In fact, of all the ladies to wear the tiara, Chad may be the closest to Ru’s style of drag than any of them. Ru likes that whole old school television hostess and spokesmodel kind of drag and Chad’s got that in spades. It wasn’t the most exciting season of the RPDR, but we can’t deny that the right queen won. Congrats, Chad!

 

[Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

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