Pairs Division: Aniston & Theroux

Posted on November 16, 2012

Darlings, we not only haven’t done a Pairs Division post in a good while, we also haven’t checked in on Miss Jen in far too long. If nothing else, we can all talk about the absolutely obnoxious engagement ring she’s sporting.


Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux attend the 26th American Cinematheque Award Honoring Ben Stiller, held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles. Aniston is in a Valentino Silk Strapless Bow Gown.

Valentino Va Va Voom Studded Leather Convertible Clutch


HE: Is a good-looking, trim, well-groomed man in a classic tux that fits him. You could argue that it’s not a hard look to pull off, given all that, but he deserves no less than… Score: 9.5/10. Fine. We took half a point for being easy.

SHE: Isn’t quite killin’ it here, but we’re kind-hearted enough to give her some props for trying. Yes, it’s colorless; yes, it’s strapless. But hey: it’s not a sequined bath towel and that’s something, right? The dress has some visual interest and that counts for something in our book. Unfortunately, that visual interest translates into looking like she’s wearing a long-line bra outside her dress. Also, that clutch is pretty stylin’, but it makes our eyes twitch when off-white accessories are paired with garments that have white in them. Sometimes it works; like, if this dress was entirely white, but not when both the white and the off-white are essentially accent colors. Still, it’s not a terrible look; just a look with some minor issues. We’re feeling kindhearted today, so … Score: 8/10. Besides, we’ve gotta give it up for a lady who landed a rock like that. Granted, she probably paid for it herself, but still.

Combined Score: 8.75/10. Could it be? Are we entering a new Aniston Age, where we might not hate everything she’s wearing on sight? Does engagement agree with her? Stay tuned, darlings!

[Photo Credit: Thomas Janssen/,]

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  • A. W.

    I think “she probably paid for it herself” shouldn’t be a scoff, it should be a hats-off to a lady making stacks on stacks. She wanted a big rock, she made it happen like a boss bitch.

    • MrsMaxPower

      I love everything about what you wrote…I’m now trying to find a way to use “stacks on stacks” into conversation regularly.

      • mshesterp

        And I’m trying to figure out how to work “boss bitch” about myself into my next conversation.  Well done, A.W.  Well done.

    • alwaysanswerb

       Snaps up and down to this comment!

    • EveEve

      Am I the only one who thinks the ring is an awfully vulgar trapping of wealth…and no more?  It reeks of insecurity, not security.

    • Truuuuuuuuuuuuuu

    • When did we scoff? We did the exact opposite.

      “Besides, we’ve gotta give it up for a lady who landed a rock like that. Granted, she probably paid for it herself, but still.”

      You’re getting all these “likes” and comments of support, for basically taking one phrase out of context and ignoring what we actually wrote.

    • On Grain

      Totes agree. Besides, I heard he has his own money? Maybe not Aniston’s millions upon millions, but still enough to buy her that ring.

  • Adriana_Paula

    It would be nice if he smiled.  He looks like he doesn’t even know her.

    • Eva_baby

       There are other pix of them laughing their heads off in this same photo shoot.  As a matter of fact, in those pix,  he looks a bit shiny and she looks a bit tussled.  My money is on the idea that they had limo sex before the red carpet.

      • Adriana_Paula

        I hope so!  That’s a much happier story than the one I was starting in my head; thanks.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      maybe he doesn’t! 🙂

  • G

    Embarrassed to say I don’t know who he is or what he does… I supposed an actor on the second tier??  How did he come up with the $$ for that rock?  

    • StelledelMare

       Only thing I ever remember him in was the second Charlie’s Angels film sporting a pretty bad scottish accent as a villain.

      • RebeccaKW

         He was in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.  The cowboy all in black, who stuttered. 

        • Kristin McNamara

          He was in Wanderlust with JAniston. That’s how they met. I thought it was actually kind of funny, in a mindless “pretty funny as background noise while I’m doing other things” kind of movie.

          • Lauren Bradley

            He wrote Tropic Thunder and Iron Man2, he’s been in a ton of other stuff though including Parks and Rec, Mullholland Dr., and Six Feet under. 

          • quiltrx

            I am surprised it took this many comments to get to Mulholland Dr.!  Definitely what I know him most for.

            And I always loved him in Romy/Michelle, long before I actually found out it was him!

          • Mulholland Drive.

        •  Was that him?! I LOVED that character!

    • MilaXX

      He has acted quite  bit, but most of his $$$ is from directing. He did Tropic Thunder and of of the Marvel Comics movies, (I think Iron Man.)

      • He’ll always be the premature ejaculation guy that Carrie dated in one of the earlier seasons of SATC to us; the one whose mother, Valerie Harper, loved Carrie more than he did.

        He also played a douchey writer at an Under-30s party that Carrie tried to hook up with to make Big jealous. What can we say? We have all the DVDs.

        • OMG, you guys are right! He is the premature ejaculation guy!!

        • Le_Sigh

          YES.  That is always what I’ll see when I look at him.  Also “How can you have brunch without the cream cheese?!” tantrum he throws near the end of that episode.

        • MilaXX

           and that is just one reason why I love you guys

        • Introspective

          Thank you TLo for clearing up the “I know this guy from somewhere” torture I would go thru every time I would see a pic of Jen and this dude!

      • He actually wrote Tropic Thunder (which was quite good) and the screenplay for Iron Man 2 and Rock of Ages (*snort*). He did not direct them though.

        • MilaXX

          You made me check his IMDB and I realized where I first saw him was in The Brokenhearts Club.

    • LANDRU3000

      He was briefly naked in Six Feet Under.

  • ChiKat67

    Fug Girls likened this dress to the one Brenda wore to the spring dance and now I can’t un-see that!

    • ceceliadid

      Mystic Pizza dinner at the rich guy’s house dress!

      • ChiKat67

        YES!!!!  If only Jen had gone with curly hair…missed opportunity!

    •  Didn’t Kelly turn up in the same dress?

      • She did! If I could post a picture I would. 

  • Sarah Dickerson

    That dress looks like these are the pictures right before the wardrobe malfunction.  It actually looks like it’s in the middle of falling off of her.

  • Sobaika

    She is dressed only slightly less banal than usual, so I guess it’s a plus. I’m still not sure she’s ever been above a 7.5 but that’s just me.

    • Lilak

      (you are not alone)

      • MilaXX

         truly you aren’t

  • geans

    Slipping her hand into the clutch strap with that thing on her finger must have been quite the maneuver. Good for her! 

    • DinaSews

      Haha.  Maybe the ring was put on after to prevent the purse from slipping off. 

      •  Yup, ring was definitely put on afterwords, very odd.

    • petalfrog

       I was going to say the same thing… she’s pretty much tied to holding on to the purse all evening b/c she’ll have to take her ring on and off to use it.

    • roadtrip1000

      For a moment there I thought the strap was actually a blinged up knuckle ring.

    • I thought she was sporting brass knuckles for a sec there.

  • PeaceBang

    On what planet does Jennifer Aniston ever have BAD HAIR? But here, right here on our own Planet Earth, it has happened. Additionally, the dress is draggy and shapeless and she’s wearing her clutch like brass knuckles. Jennifer gets a 5 from me. Mr. Theroux is visually fine but the cartoon bubble over his head says, “I’m gonna find Joaquin Phoenix and I’m gonna cut him for getting cast in all my parts.”

  • It gives me pause to think that she had to take off that ring, slide her hand through the grip on the purse, then put the ring back on again.

    I do love her dress and think it’s a fab look for a couple.  They both clean up nicely.

    • bookish

      I honestly feel claustrophobic looking at the closeup of the purse and ring. Yikes, I can’t imagine having to take off my ring to remove my fingers from a purse.

  • donnaINseattle

    I think the dress could have been glued up her body another 4 inches and it wouldn’t look so saggy in the bodice. How can she function with a ring that obnoxious? Oi.

  • Nicholas

    No idea about what happened, but the amount of discomfort on their faces and disdain on his are quite palpable.

  • Michael Owens

    The problem is that her busts aren’t the least bit saggy, but the dress bust is!

  • decormaven

    Heck, I love that ring. It serves as a laser beam to shine in Angelina’s eye. Something about how the dress is fitted or the construction of the bodice is set on her chest results in a downward gravitational pull. 

  • MilaXX

    I think he looks great but I wouldn’t give him higher than a 9/10.
    I don’t like her look at all. The air looks lank and a bit too causal, the makeup looks too beachy, hate the top of that dress. It’s missing something, either it’s sitting too low or she needs a bra. Knowing Jen probably both. Hate the off white bag against the white white of the dress. I’ll give her points for not wearing a shiny towel, but not a lot. 7.5/10

  • I think the bodice is off-white too, just less so than the clutch.

  • PrunellaV

    They both look great. She looks better than she has in a while. But I wish the top of that dress was pulled up about an inch.

  • shopgirl716

    I think the ring is awesome and would buy one for myself if I had the money.  It’s also good for self defense – imagine the mark it would leave on anyone who tried to mug her.  However, a ring like that deserves a better dress.  Boring!!!

    Bear in mind, I’m a Dallas girl and we have no problem with gigantic diamonds.  Probably the only thing in common we have with the Jersey girls.

  • elleg929

    Her dress looks like a long version of the dresses worn by Kelly and Brenda at West Beverly’s Spring Dance.

  • teensmom99

    Umm  what about the fit problem on this dress?  I think it’s aging her to show so much boob. Same with the hair–it’s getting lighter and lighter and the “beachy” nonstyle is just not working any more.  And I do think he deserves every point for good fit.

  • Vera L-

    I want to hike the dress up a few inches, they have zero chemistry and Theroux looks like John Slattery’s long lost son. 

    • Puck Thornton

       If only he had his daddy’s sex appeal.

  • jw_ny

    They both look really only comment is that the bust makes her boobs look like they’re sagging almost to her hips.  I feel the urge to grab her top and give it a good yank up!

  • MissMariRose

    That looks like my prom dress, circa 1987.

  • Janet B

    He looks perfect.
    Her dress probably feels like a drastic change for her, too bad it seems a bit droopy.
    I’d like to see her try a different look with her makeup, not more, just different.

  • MzzPants

    Huh.  A dress that hangs below her knees.  Didn’t know she had it in her.

  • Khaleesi1031

    Why oh why would you wear that clutch over the best accessory you have? That ring should be the showpiece! Not used as support for a trending clutch…

  • jenno1013

    Strapless dresses like that make me cry.  So badly designed.

  • That shade of blonde is aging her. 

  • I think that bodice looks like it’s melting off her boobs. I like it much better when she shows off her seriously stupendous legs. 

  • StellaZafella

    Engagement ring seats 6…

    The only way anyone can believe that rock is real is by knowing that the one who’s wearing it could afford to buy it for herself…YOU GO GURL! Liz Taylor would be jealous.

  • ringthing

    I was taught that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all……which is why I love you guys. And even you are being really nice today! I can’t find anything to fault except that JA just irritates the everlovin’ snot out of me, for no reason, therefore I hate everything she wears. Celebrities, thank god they exist to give our irrational hatred somewhere safe to land.

  • Little_Olive

    This could be great, but something about her reminded me of a Real Houswife. I think it’s the hair and makeup in the second photo. 

  • MsALVA

    I wish she’d STYLE her hair every once in a while. I mean, I know this is “her look” but she’s so stuck to it. It wouldn’t hurt her to put it up, or wear it back, or even a dang bobby pin for gosh’s sake. Is she really that paranoid about her face shape? She’s so pretty!

    /grandma mode

  • crash1212

    That clutch looks like the same color as the bodice on my screen, so I shall totally give her a pass on that, plus I love the ‘brass knuckles’ look of these clutches.

    That rock is just too much!

  • Kyle Crawford

    How big was the one from Brad ?

  • VicksieDo

    He looks so sad.

  • Fordzo

    The dress gives the impression that it will need to be “hiked” up all evening.  Major pet peeve.  

  • lilibetp

    Stringy hair on a red carpet -1 point (I know that her face shape is unattractive and must therefore be hidden, but can the hair at least be behind her shoulders so as not to hide the dress?)

    Orange skin -2 points (Just because I’m sick and tired of orange skin.)

    Holding the purse strangely -1 point (This would have been okay if it hadn’t been the same hand as that ridiculous rock.  Can you picture the maneuvering that must have happened every time she wanted to put the purse down?)

    The fit of the bodice -2 points (It’s too low, hiding her small waist and making her look pregnant, especially in the bottom picture, where she’s got the clutch below her belly.  If it turns out that she IS pregnant, then I’ll give it -1 for the bodice being too low set.)

    So, that gives her 4/10 points.

  • kolokOlchik

    wow, in that second picture she looks like she’s posing with a wax figure 🙂

  • unbornfawn

    No, Jen still looks like classic Jen, bless her. She’s stuck in a style rut and will only come out of it kicking and screaming. I do genuinely hope the pair is happy.

  • Bodice makes her chestage look like gravity came a-visitin’ and decided to stay. I doubt that’s the look she was aiming for.

    I thought she had designer brass knuckles on at first, before I figured out it was a handle on the handbag.
    He looks like he’d rather be just about anywhere else.

  • Boobs hanging down, and they aren’t even big! She needs a good strapless bra.

  • I love that clutch. The ring is so big it looks fake.

  • Trisha26

    With all that pleating in the bow area it makes everything look droopy. (Not that she has anything to droop…)

  • Lauren Bradley

    I actually worked this event, and Jen’s dress had some beautiful movement. She looked stunning in person.

  • Lauren Bradley

    I actually worked this event, and she looked stunning in person. The dress had some very nice movement.

  • UptownNippy

    It is so nice to see her dressed as a grown up.  I would feel like I would want to hike up the top of the dress though.

  • siriuslover

    I love her bracelet and hate the eye makeup.  How did she get her hand in that clutch with her ring on? I wonder if she had to take the ring off to slip her hand through the handle and take it off again to remove the purse.

  • He looks like a young Tommy Lee Jones and her a young Streisand, hmm interesting.

  • Valentino clutch with huge studs brings attention right where she wants it, on the big ole rock.  Suck it Brangelina.

  • nannypoo

    I like the dress. The engagement ring is nothing but a big diamond. No design, no style, not even much sparkle. If she wanted a big diamond she got it. If she wanted a pretty ring, then oops, she missed.

  • Laylalola

    Oh man, she’s getting real close to looking like someone on one of those Real Housewives shows now. 

  • quiltrx

    Sorry, I can’t give it up for a lady with a rock like that, who got it by busting up a 14-year relationship.  I really like Justin a lot, and I’m afraid he’ll be sorry.

    He looks fabulous.  I hate her (WAY before this relationship), so I will just put my hand over her and she disappears.

  • annrr

    Have to disagree with you here “absolutely obnoxious” ring. I am a jewelry girl all the way. If you are going to do it go big.Why not?

  • LLuL

    This probably won’t be a popular comment on a fashion blog, but a big ass ugly engagement ring like that is tacky. Save it for the gold diggers, holier-than-thou old money, and royalty. I don’t think it suits her. Either he bought it for her or she’s not as classy as I thought she was. As for the dress and hair- BORING!

  • ccm800

    Two less interesting people I cannot think of. 

  • Okay, I am blind. I thought the strap to her clutch was her engagement ring, like fancy brass knuckles. Now I’m disappointed. 

  • J MN

    She looks fine, he looks fine and the ring is vulgar.  

  • ZnSD

    hmm. he’s gotta be worth at least 10M. He can afford that ring. But hey, who cares who bought it when you and your partner are worth literally millions and millions and millions of dollars. It’s a piece of rock. 

  • Now that’s funny!

  • librarygrrl64

    I feel like her hair is a bit too casual for the outfit and the event? But I know that is her look.

    And when you first mentioned the obnoxious rock, I looked too quickly and thought the clutch handle was her ring and did a horrified “what dafuq???” 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    I wish she would a) brush her hair and perhaps put it up  b) think about how her skin is gonna look like boiled leather if she keeps tanning like that.  

  • Regardless of who paid for that ring, it’s seriously so big that it seems like it just HAS to be costume. I know it’s not costume, but that thing is so large that it seems like it couldn’t possibly be real.

  • Mirakel9

    Haha, I thought that she was wearing a gangsta’ ring, didn’t realize she had her hand through the clutch’s strap! Weird. And the ring….don’t care who paid for it, it’s tacky and silly.

  • he:  standard issue rich guy.

    she:  cool dress but her boobs look droopy.  how many points does she get for “not a sequined bath towel”.  

    i’ll take that ring, since none of you seem to like it. 

  • She has a great figure that she’s worked very hard to maintain, but the top of that dress does that figure no favors. It doesn’t offer enough support, so it makes her chest look saggy, and it makes her dress look like it’s about to slip off. I guess that might appeal to some of her fans!

  • I can’t take her fashion. She is the single most boring dresser in Hollywood and hasn’t changed her hair style/ makeup much in ten years. I think Jon Mayer said it best in one of his classic douche quotes : “There was an age gap, she still thinks it’s 1994” 

    Not ugly style, just Zzzzzzzzzz. No evolution at all.

  • Samantha Irene

    Can I just say that I love the bracelet more than the ring? More than anything else in the picture… just love it..

  • ferngilly

    I think they look great.  

  • Can she remove her hand from the strap, without popping off the obnoxious rock, or her finger?
    ‘SOk, nothing to write home about, but nothing heinous on her.  I give him major props for the fact that his jacket fits, he doesn’t have hands in pants, and the trou are properly hemmed, all of which are giving me life.

  • neofashionista

    i am sure this has been said already but i vehemently oppose this POST
    they deserve a 10 culmulatively total
    as in a 4 for her and a 6 for him,
    why because while his suit is nice he looks like he is wearing too much make up

  • neofashionista

    one more thing anyone with a ring worth more than a developing countries GDP should automatically get 5 points off for tackiness
     plus she has droppy boob dress which is just gross

  • You can see the line of her high line Spanx down the centre of the dress.

  • guest2visits

    I didn’t like the clutch with the all the bling. Thought a simpler style would have been better.
    Didn’t Elizabeth Taylor state that she found the large multi- carat diamond rings to be tacky, unseemly, ?  She loved jewelry but
    she was taken back by all the huge rings for engagements that were becoming the trend. She thought the smaller, simpler diamond
    was more precious, and if the ring was larger than a carat, it was probably about something other than love.  Surprising, and I don’t
    know if she applied this philosophy to her own jewelry box.