Kristen Stewart in Christian Dior at Twilight Premiere

Posted on November 16, 2012

Presenting… Miss Kristen Stewart, in the ongoing melodrama that T Lo likes to make up about her red carpet appearances.

 

Kristen Stewart attends the premiere of ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ in Madrid, Spain in a Christian Dior dress paired with Barbara Bui shoes.

Last time on “As the Red Carpet Turns,” and the time before that, Kristen got fed up with shrieking fangurls who called her a slut and a vapid press who likes portmanteaus a little too much and dubbed her a “Trampire.” She took out her frustrations by literally presenting her ass to both groups and advising them to kindly kiss it. But uh-oh! Evil studio heads sent out their minions to snap Miss Kristen back into line and force her into something bright, sunny, and non-threatening to the public! Kristen complied, but passive-aggressively got her revenge by picking a dress that gives her a huge butt and doesn’t fit her correctly. Also: not wearing any underwear.

Tune in next time to see what else she does to piss The Man off!

Note for the eternally offended: Everything above has been completely made up, including, but not limited to, the part about her not wearing any underwear. The fact that this dress doesn’t fit her well, is true, however. Also: we love the shoes.

 

[Photo Credit: Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images]

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  • eowyn_of_rohan

    So this is basically the junior version of Julianne Moore’s Dior for the Emmys.

  • http://twitter.com/juliafoxtrot Julia Fox

    Love the outfit. Killer shoes. That hair on the other hand….

  • http://twitter.com/jamiehoovs JLH

    Her stance/posture, the hair, and the dress itself reminds me of when I was in high school (not that long ago, if we’re being honest) and we had to dress up for sports away games/banquets. Most of us weren’t great at dressing our bodies and didn’t bother getting dolled up. I would steal her shoes though.

  • Deb_Lynn

    holy crap, that does terrible things for her.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

    She looks better when she doesn’t smile.  Love her ‘putting up with you’ look.

    • gabbilevy

      She’s better than anyone else out there at giving off a distinct whiff of ‘I’d rather scrape out my own eye with a spoon than stand here.’

      • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

        “I put on a ‘cheery’ dress, so are you happy now? I’ve covered up my womanly sexuality, since it seems so offensive to all the Penis, but I’m putting on chaps when I get back in my trailer!”

  • lizajane1776

    She’s worn a lot of garbage in the past, but this is about the worst. I suppose if she went up a size, it wouldn’t be pulling everywhere except the skirt, but that skirt is huge even in this size! Ugly!

    But the shoes are great!

  • Frank_821

    oh yes love the shoes

  • MrsMaxPower

    If it weren’t for the studded straps, those shoes would be perfection. I really dig those….almost as much as her ongoing drama illustrated through fashion.

  • elleg929

    I am loving the soap opera you are creating.  Can’t wait for the next installment!

  • EverybodysStarling

    Love the shoes & the color of the dress, hate the cut. And her face looks stunningly beautiful. 

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Those are some killer shoes. The rest is rather awful. 

  • shawnhunter

    KILLER SHOES

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    haha, her stylist clearly is cinna, defying the system with red carped fashion statements.
    (and i would have never thought id say that about stewart, even jokingly)

    those shoes are fierce!
    dress: nice colour, clumsy proportions.

  • nannypoo

    There is nothing positive to be said about that dress. The color, the fit, the hemline, the giant buttpleats, the lack of accessories – it all sucks. Her makeup is pretty and so are the shoes, but this and the Cher costume would qualify as a personal worst for just about anyone.

    • decormaven

      Buttpleats! Worst design element imaginable.

    • RebeccaKW

       Who puts on a dress, sees that it wrinkles at the mid-section given the appearance of a pooch, sees that the ass sticks out like she has on a bustle, wearing the braid she’s slept in, and says ‘yes, exactly what I’m going for’ and climbs in the car?

  • http://heartprintandstyle.com/ Vivi N

    I want those shoes.

  • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

    She looks like a teenager trying out for the chorus line.

  • RzYoung

    I like the idea of the dress and really want to like the dress but I find myself disliking the dress.

    Man, she must be knackered.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    It’s sad that the dress fits so poorly because this would have been a great look.  I need those shoes. 

  • http://twitter.com/dixielou8 Ashley

    That is a very…?…. odd? dress

  • ecallaw1977

    It doesn’t fit her well, but other than that I really like it.  I love her personal style.  She has occasional missteps, but I think that’s too be expected when you don’t default to the cookie-cutter nude bath towels or Marchesa frou-frou shit.

  • Janet B

    I’m loving the RC drama!

    …great shoes, too.

  • Jecca2244

    total tennis outfit. was she on her way to the (tennis) club? Great gams though.

  • Vanja

    I’m a bit disappointed, because this looked so much better on the other smaller picture you tweeted. Shame about the fit.

  • mozzer0906

    Shoes are fierce, dress is awful

  • MilaXX

    Truly Not her dress. Besides being ill fitting, it’s too short and I don’t like that color on her. I do love the shoes and like the idea of pairing them with that dress.

  • http://4ofwands.wordpress.com/ Aj/Melia

    Love the shoes!  Want!  Neck up is fine.  I like the makeup better than usual.  

  • ralish

    Love the bright color on her, but it does fit terribly. Love the shoes and even the hair and makeup. I especially love that I can’t see through the dress.

  • SapphoPoet

    Shoes are FIERCE. Can’t stand the dress, though–it’s poufy and lemon-colored. Ick. I like her make-up, though–very soft.

  • Maine1ac

    “Trampire” FTW.

  • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

    “As The Red Carpet Turns” should be the title of your next book.  Those shoes are wonderful!  Everything else is awful: the style, color, fit, and everything about the dress; her hair looks messy; and she looks completely uninterested.

  • MRC210

    I share the general love of the shoes but would like to see them without the straps.  Love that color as well … shame about the skirt.

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Dress doesn’t work, but it’s a great color and the shoes are great.  What’s next?

  • Tatiana Luján

    I hate the combination of fit and flare and mullet skirt. What was the designer who created this thinking? I love the shoes and the color of the dress.

    • mhleta

      Completely agree. Those shoes are incredible paired with this neon yellow. Would have loved a more conventional style on the bottom half of the dress. Pencil skirt is your friend, leggy girl. 

    • tereliz

      Fit and flare mullet MINI skirt. Ew. 

      I do love the shoes unreservedly, and I’ve always been a lover of that chartreuse-y citron color, just not in this case. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000393765005 Garcia Loca

    Cute outfit — but her poor posture and perpetually stoned face ruin it for me.

  • samo_samo

    Oh the shoes! The shoes! It’s all about the shoes. And BTW you totally did not make up the part about that dress giving her a huge butt.

    • tereliz

      They probably didn’t make up the part about her not wearing any underwear, either. ;)

  • http://profiles.google.com/urbangypsyt Tess D

    As we know, rather up close and personally, she has practically no butt. This dress seems like it must have a mini-bustle to do that to her ass. 

    Shoes are killer. 

  • Introspective

    She couldnt wear that dress to any event where dinner was being served. One extra crumb in her system would split this dress at the seams.

    Though it needs letting out and a lower, more even hemline, the dress had some potential. Ok on 2nd thought the color is great but not much else. But the shoes are hot to death.

    Cant wait for the next episode. “As the rc turns” would slay in the ratings and end the new trend in daytime toward talk shows over soaps. For real.

  • mhleta

    She looks miserable. You could put a thought balloon over her head in every shot that would say either “Fuck you” or “Fuck my life.”

    • DTLAFamilies

      Which irritates the fuck out of me since she got paid $20 million for biting her lip through two movies last year. Suck it up, sweetheart. 

  • Pants_are_a_must

    What a horribly-fitting dress.

    At least there aren’t any nipple pasties this time?

    (she has no taste. none.)

  • Vaniljekjeks

    Yeah she looks awful, but those shoes!  So cool.  

  • another_laura

    That dress is really really not fitting her.  Really.

    Thanks to T Lo for the Saga of Kristin Stewart!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

    Tragic. She looks like a frumpy figure skater.

  • http://twitter.com/donkno DonKno

    I dig the dress, the shoes and the makeup but her expression says she isn’t digging it as much as I am so it doesn’t work. But I give her points for her palpable disdain for this circus.

  • MGMcD

    Weird. I die for the shoes. The rest can go home.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XX3UUXUSBZGZQ4MKNADAMYTADE Mrs

    I think she looks fabulous with a bit more shape in the caboose, however, she really needs some deportment lessons.  In a few years, she’s going to regret not learning to stand up straight.   Let’s chip in and raise money to send her to ballet classes or Alexander Technique.

    • Sara__B

      Kirsten definitely needs to develop core strength  and get some muscle tone in those long legs of hers. (She always looks weak to me, as if she barely has the muscles to hold up her skeleton.)

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

    THOSE SHOES. I WANT. That is all.

  • f_yeah_marie

    I love the entire outfit, but yes, the dress does not fit her well.  

  • julnyes

    I liked the shoes enough that I took a gander at Barbara Bui’s website. They weren’t on it, but I took note of the general price range of her shoes and realized I couldn’t afford them even if I saw them there. This made me temporarily sad. I’m over it now, but I still really really like these shoes.

    • l_c_ann

      Those shoes wouldn’t be that hard to copy.

      Find a shoe in white fabric with the right shaped heal.  Copy the pattern and then add a band of black leather around the ankles with the shiny pyramidal things. 

      • julnyes

        In theory what you say is entirely plausible, but I have zero crafting skills.

  • Laylalola

    LOL. (And how on earth did they pick something that fit her wrong in just about every way possible?)

  • Vera L-

    but did she land the triple salchow?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austen-Jane/100002245814326 Austen Jane

    I wish I had a place to wear those shoes. I am thinking my husbands’ bosses holiday party.

  • AnaRoW

    I’d like the dress a lot better if it fit right. I personally have no problems with a big butt look.  She looks a lot more uncomfortable in this than her last two looks.  I wonder if it’s the fit or the style that’s the problem.

    Love the shoes.

  • pugluv

    Love the shoes, hate the ill fitting dress, strongly dislike her…..

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Love the shoes, hate the dress, not crazy about Kristen Stewart. 

  • christinewithanx

    Okay, so so far we’ve had Bored Putty Doily, Bored Funeral Doily and now Bored Lemon. I’d say things are getting better!

  • siriuslover

    She looks like a little girl who has outgrown her dress but still wants to wear it. Not a good look KStew… But I’m going to go with TLo’s story they’ve crafted.

  • Joyce VG

    The shoes are hot. 

  • http://onebluetree.blogspot.com/ Sara L.

    I normally hate all the shoes described on this site as “killer” or other positive adjectives, and thought I must finally be the completely out-of-touch fashion victim I feared I was becoming.

    But those shoes are amazing. I want them immediately.

  • Snailstsichr

    That dress looks so uncomfortable. I’m not sure that clothing should be made in the color of a high-lighter pen.

  • Eva_baby

    I just can’t with her.  To me it is like designers are giving her clothes.  She is putting them on her body.  But she is not wearing them!   Also, that smile looks so pained.

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    It’s a bit tight and I don’t like the colour but I really like the shape. I am a sucker for a bustle.

    • l_c_ann

      Let’s hope the bustle’s intentional.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KBNJ6GJTXYEE6BON3WGK6KEGT4 Elizabeth

    These shoes are making me happy!

  • Samuel Donovan

    This is one of my favorite looks I’ve seen in a long time. On anybody–I LIVE for those shoes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790818401 Laurie Landry

    Sorry, but I like it all this time!
     

  • BeeBeauNYC

    Apparently the deal she cut with the studio is that she got to style her own hair, and she apparently prefers to style her hair like she is in the eighth grade.

  • guest2visits

    Would’ve been a perfect look for her, except too snug. 

  • Michael Owens

    Her make-up is lovely, too.

  • DesertRodent

    She has an R. Crumb butt. Also she’s foolishly too frugal for a hair stylist; either that or she has an abysmally bad one.

    But the color is nice. And the shoes are a no-brainer, but not bad. 

  • bertkeeter

    Dont cheerleading costumes usually come w pom poms? Is tacky, ill fitting and NOTING that relates to what the hosue of DIOR should be about! Hey, but what do I know…

  • J. Preposterice

    I might commit patricide for those shoes. 

  • http://twitter.com/emilyf007 emily

    That first photo of her is extremely unflattering

  • PeaceBang

    I’m loving this fantasy TLo series, and begrudgingly learning to love Miss Stewart for her inability to hide how elated she is to almost have this whole sparkly vampire era behind her. ME, TOO, Kristen. ME TOO.

  • BazoDee

    Oh the shoes!!! LOVE! everything else in this post is secondary.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KZBBNYDMMMALGCUZSAFXWUWQ24 NYCKay

    Looks like a nightmare of a tennis outfit gone bad! Love the shoes.

  • ChristinaRi

    I think it’s a mess from hair to toe.

  • LeifBallard

    Love the shoes…the dress is a tad too short and I think her braid is a little too messy

  • crash1212

    Shoes = WANT. I actually like that dress and couldn’t imagine – up to this point – anybody looking good in that color, but she does. Fit is off though! :P

  • B_C_J

    Horrible dress, horrible fit, not crazy about the color, so-so hair, great shoes. 

  • JaneDC

    She’s looking worse for the wear, just like Pattison.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    That color looks HORRIBLE on her!  Shoes are cool, tho’.

  • kimmeister

    Dior made that dress?  For shame.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    Those shoes deserve a much better outfit.

  • Trisha26

    A tennis dress the color of balls…tennis balls. Love the shoes.

  • snarkykitten

    it looks like a tennis outfit on acid

    but I kinda like it…if the skirt wasn’t so horrendous & awkward

  • http://TheDoseofReality.com/ The Dose of Reality

    The whole thing would look better if she wasn’t slouching. 

  • ankali

    Love the shoes, like them with the dress, am neutral about the design & color of the dress, decry the fit of the dress.

  • http://twitter.com/pattylapatty pattycupcake

    this was my body, when i was her age, including the legs.  *sob*

  • elzatelzabelz

    I was on my way to perform in the ice capades when I remembered, I have this red carpet thing…shoes are fierce though.

  • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

    I’d like the dress if it was knee length. Equal size top and bottom halves look odd. And I’m a prude and think most of the time, a mini skirt isn’t the way to go. ;-)
    Granted, if anyone can pull off a min (and has done so in the past) it’s her. Just not this one.

  • quiltrx

    THOSE SHOES!!! Absolutely killer, and worth cutting any number of bitches for.  Even my hubby thinks so LOL.

    This being a Dior, the fit is so decidely odd!  Very tight and makes her look very blocky in the bodice…then the whole lift in the cooter area, with a butt flounce.

    How much do you bet someone called her ‘Banana Butt’ that evening?

  • lrhoff

    Good grief.  This is just sad.  Was she called out last minute and didn’t have time to care?

  • briecee

    That is a “fuck the world” outfit if ever I saw one.  Like she skipped right past the pink of goth and went straight to sunshine fucking yellow.

  • J MN

    That dress does absolutely nothing for her, it looks almost juvenile.  It’s way too tight across the abdomen and seems somehow short waisted and gives her a bubble butt.  The hem is odd.  Those killer shoes deserve so much better.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/DelvingEye Delving Eye

    No, no, no.

  • librarygrrl64

    Girl, that’s NOT your dress. Ugh.

  • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

    She almost always wears interesting shoes. 

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    Wow. This is amazing. This dress manages to make a size 0 person look wide, short, huge, shapelessly straight, poochy, flat-chested, huge-shouldered, short-necked, hippy, and in possession of a Kardashian-esque surgically enhanced butt. This truly is a fashion miracle. The shoes are great, though. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    She looks like the head cheerleader at Neon University.

  • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

    The color and shape of the dress are all wrong for her.  Hair looks dirty, as usual, but at least it has some sort of style.  Covet and love those shoes!

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    I love the color and idea of the dress paired with those kickass shoes, but agree, this particular dress does not flatter her. 

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    love the color and the shoes.  that is all.

  • Pam Winters

    I almost like it. Looks like the Morton Salt Girl.

  • kikisayshi

    OMG I SO love those shoes!! Dress is short and tight – she should send it to Heidi.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

    She shoulda just gone out in the shoes…and nothing else…and had done with it.

    Violent yellow ill-fitting tennis dress.  YUCK.

  • Cathy S

    Don’t like the dress but the shoes are fierce.

  • lilazander

    Her mid-section looks rather thick in this dress, and as far as I remember, it had never been.