Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Halle Berry in Catherine Malandrino

Posted on November 02, 2012

Rejoice, sisters! For even Halle Berry sometimes can’t make a dress work for her! Have yourself a heaping helping of Fashion Schadenfreude:

 

Halle Berry attends the premiere of ‘Cloud Atlas’ in Moscow, Russia in a Catherine Malandrino Holiday 2013 leather cut-out dress.

Granted, it’s not like she looks horrible or anything, but this really isn’t working for us. It doesn’t do very nice things to her figure. It doesn’t help that the skirt is so tight on her that it keeps riding up and making her look like she’s wearing leather diapers.

Sweetie, box this dress up and send it off to the size 00 models it was designed for.

Does anyone else think she needs a makeup consult? We don’t like the way she does her eyes. They recede into her face and she looks exhausted or downright malevolent sometimes.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, catherinemalandrino.com]

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      Oh Halle, don’t you remember what happened the last time you dressed up as catwoman?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ailsa-Martin/644946901 Ailsa Martin

      Even RUSSIA is getting Cloud Atlas, and I have to wait til February? NOOOOO.

      I’m not sure I agree with this Out. I hate the dress, but I think if anyone could wear it, it’s her. It just doesn’t fit her. Although her boobs look AH MAZING.

      • J. Preposterice

        Right? Go up a size, Halle! 

    • Anathema_Device

      I think she looks pretty slammin’ to be honest. I would like the dress better if the skirt part didn’t have the panels, but otherwise, I have no issues with this.

    • clatie

      Maybe it’s because the camera angle is a bit low, but her cheeks look awfully plumped up.  No one is immune from the call of the needle are they.

      • Anathema_Device

         It isn’t just you. I’ve noticed the cheeks, too. Implants or filler, but something is new there. I feel her…I am 48 and that youthful cheek fullness is heading south to my jowls way too quickly.

        • clatie

          Oh, honey, me too.  I’m 47 and everything (and I do mean everything) is heading south.  

        • swa2003

          This comment made me curious so I went and looked at older images of Halle and maybe it’s just me, but her cheeks don’t look that different from a few years ago. I find it funny that we can’t just give her props for looking good at her age, which really isn’t that old, but have to scrutinize every little thing to find something that she must have had fixed surgically in order to look this good. It’s an interesting attempt at leveling.

          • ecallaw1977

            I think it’s less an “attempt at leveling” than an acknowledgment of likely reality.  She’s not old, but the simple fact is that people age, and she really hasn’t: as you said, her cheeks don’t look that different from a few years ago.  She just does not look 46.  Not even like a banging 46.  She looks like she’s 30.  Call me cynical, but I just don’t think that happens naturally.

            • Anathema_Device

              thanks for this comment. I’m  not the “leveling” type. I am now at the age where I am seeing more women I know (usually kind of casually because my friends aren’t the surgical/filler types) who are getting stuff done to their faces. I don’t judge them or anything, but you can tell, even when it is good work.

            • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DJQMGJU7MZMBVLSD4GUTPJEPD4 murt

              Really? I actually think she looks much older than she did when she was 30. She does look like she’s in her ’40s, to me. 

            • Nelliebelle1197

               me too. cute as a button though

          • Anathema_Device

             I truly don’t scrutinize everything. She is about my age and my thoughts are more along the lines of “how the hell does she do it?” If you look at my previous comment, I was the one disagreeing with T Lo and saying how great she looks.

          • clatie

            Overanalyze much?

        • SpillinTea

          She still has the best nose job in the business.

      • Rand Ortega

         Ew! I just went back & looked. Ew! Cheek balloons!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208138556 Sara Munoz Munoz

      Oh please, it looks even worse on the size 00 model. Baggy, puckering leather criss-cross bodice?
      This is a dress for NOBODY.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/DNWEFT2SVBX5T3NPMROQCT4U2U jennyv

        True that sister.

      • teensmom99

        Exactly!

      • kittenwithaquip

         On the model the panels seem to emphasize her skeletal ribs. Not a good look for anyone, but as others have mentioned, at least Halle fills it out. (Even if I want her to stop grinding it in everyone’s face that she still hot at 40-whatever. I get it. You’re hot. I don’t even resent it. I just think it’s played out.)

      • kschwarting

        Yup, it’s just an awful dress.  The fact that it makes Halle freakin’ Berry look like she has a burrito baby confirms that it is for no one.

        • Rand Ortega

           Exactly. A crap dress even Ms. Halle can’t elevate.

      • MissMariRose

         Agreed. That thing is hideous.

      • AmeliaEve

         Eh. I think it needs somebody with a lot more swagger. Rosario Dawson, say, or Angelina Jolie. Halle is too nice.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1341789451 Marilyn McNeely

        Seriously! it really accentuates the models (awkward) protruding pubic bone, I’d rather see it tight on the tummy and thighs… 

      • DesertDweller79

         Amen.  This is a horrible dress.  The cutouts on the skirt are terrible.  The way the cutouts meet in front almost makes their legs look shorter.  Blech. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/susanvmayer Susan Mayer

      It looks better on her than on the model, whose lady bone is poking out.

      But it’s just not there.  I think if the sheer shoulders and sleeves were gone, it works a little better.

      • out for a walk

        Agreed. I think with the sleeves, she should have either taken them off or at least retained the leather on the cuffs that the model has. And the skirt should be a bit shorter, straighter, and without the cutouts. Fixed!

    • Breatheinthegood

      I think she looks better in it than the model. The chest and arms look too loose on the model- Halle fills it out nicely. She looked stunning in Cloud Atlas even underneath some of the odder make-ups.

    • Linzenberg

      This dress looks like it’s holding Halle hostage.

    • Abby Davis

      She looks better in it than the model, but it’s a trashy sort of dress, so that detracts from any class Halle might have.

      • MilaXX

         I like Halle, but her dresses are often on the verge of hoochie.

        • http://profiles.google.com/ameliaheartsu Amelia Logan

          I think that’s only 50% style and 50% the way she carries herself/her body.

        • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

          I’d wish she’d realize that stylish and age appropriate are not mutually exclusive.

    • BazoDee

      Dam even her “Girl that is  not your dress” looks great! But agreed – _i like of like elements of the top in theory but it is borderline in reality. The skirt is what really gets her in trouble. And yes -the make-up looks unusually off -and that’s something she rarely gets wrong. Maybe her usual make-up artist is stranded on the East Coast or the lighting is terrible. 

    • another_laura

      T Lo, thank you for the rhythmic flow of “have yourself a heaping helping of fashion schadenfreude” – I’m sure it’s some kind of perfect poetic form that I don’t know the name for….  I’m going to say this to myself all day with great pleasure.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

         I know! The alliteration of heaping helping and then the assonance of fashion schadenfreude – brilliant!

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       When a leather dress is a bit too tight it really, really shows!

    • http://twitter.com/jack_attack88 Jackie Stewart

      This is certainly not the best we’ve ever seen her. However, I feel like even when Halle Berry is at her worst, she’s better than many actresses at their best.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3JSTXMWWVZN2QNP2UEKJMTWD7U Isabel

      Maladrino needs a Joey Zee intervention.

    • mmc2315

      It’s the skirt.  All kinds of wrong.

    • sweetlilvoice

      I see what you mean but she still looks pretty good. She is one hot mama.

    • charlotte

      This is a “Whose Dress is it Anyway”.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/KBNJ6GJTXYEE6BON3WGK6KEGT4 Elizabeth

        Charlotte … TLo should award you some type of prize (a signed copy of their new book perhaps?) for coining what I think should absolutely become a much-used new phrase on the site. This dress, and many other leather horrors we’ve seen here, not to mention many of the sheer panel monstrosities, are definitely “Whose Dress is it Anyway” material. Nobody, not even the genetic freaky beauty that is Halle can make them look good. As others have stated, the model looks worse. Bad dress, great description, Charlotte.

    • http://promiscuouslola.com/ Cate

      I don’t hate it, it just looks a little…. off. I can’t decide why exactly.

    • Annabelle Archer

      Yeah….whose dress is it do you think?  Because honestly, I think it’s overall just fug. I’m so over all the leather usage. It always comes off looking like pleather in pics and it makes me think of sweaty uncomfortableness.

      Does anyone remember the Friends where Ross powdered himself into those leather pants? Hilarious. 

      • Pennymac

        The powder and lotion are making a paste!

      • http://twitter.com/starrika Ali

         I’d actually like to see KStew in this.

        • Annabelle Archer

          Oooh..I can see that. Good call!

    • claudemtl777

      She has been looking worn out for a while now…

    • raininmai

      Aside from the fit issue across the hips, I think she looks pretty damn good here, much better than the size zero model does. The eye makeup issue I think has more to do with the lighting than anything.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      well, you all know how i feel about schadenfreude….. ;)

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      I’m not trying to be a hater here, but I always think Halle Berry looks a little malevolent .. I’m not sure it is the eye makeup.

    • Janet B

      Looks better on Halle than on the model.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      That is a bad, no good, horrible dress. Shame on you, Malandrino.

      And yes, stronger make up should be on Berry’s agenda. Otherwise, dressing like this makes her look like a vampire, and not the “sexy” kind.

    • MilaXX

      I don’t hate this. I think she needed to let it out and inch or two and like it better with tights or black hose, but really it’s Halle Berry. She ain’t gonna look but so bad. As for the makeup, I think she needs to change up. She’ s pretty much been doing that same look forever. I’d like to see her do either a minimal eye or a subtle cat eye and add a bit more color to the lip instead.

    • Kyle Crawford

      I think you boys are a little bit Sandy weary today – you did just call Halle Berry fat……….

    • PeggyOC

      I call this frockenfreude – the delight you get when someone else wears a terrible frock.

    • In_Stitches

      It’s tacky on whomever is going to end up wearing it, but I like it better on her than on the model.  

      *edited to add that Rooney Mara could make this dress work with her blue-white skin, and uniquely eerie features.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RocketStarling Ashley Ellen Wilson

      I disagree, T-Lo. I think she actually looks pretty hot here. 

    • http://twitter.com/jennsaysmeow Fifi LaRoux

      I don’t mind the cut outs on the waist, it;s the cutouts on the bottom that scream “Enter here for fun times!” that bother me.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_RDEDI3ONWSVDQS5GXKKBIML3H4 Chase

      I think it’s a pretty ugly dress, period.  It doesn’t look that much better on the model.

    • nnbb

      Halle, even on her worst day, is better than most of them on their best day.

    • kategs

      I think that dress needs several more arrows pointing out the lady bits. 

    • Judy_S

      I think that dress should be shredded.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=585347779 Dennis Sandoval

      You guys are kidding, right? She looks fierce!

    • Wellworn

      Can cut outs please go away?  Is this some recession thing where the designers need to save on fabric or leather?  It’s just too skanky for me.  Showgirls comes to mind.

    • poggi

      While it doesn’t look great from the hips down on Halle (I agree that the top looks pretty good on her though), it doesn’t look particularly good, from the hips up or down, on the model either.  The sheer strips pointing to the space between the model’s legs is weird.  This is one instance where the ‘gotta pee’ pose is necessary.

      Halle needs to pay more attention to dress selection.  Granted she can continue to pull off many things that even other Hollywood stars and models can’t, but she can”t get away with absolutely everything.  Also, I agree with TLo that she needs to rethink the makeup a bit, it could definitely be doing more for her than it does now.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/47S737MGWCAZEZ73QOAFKDFEKQ Jill

      I think she looks a bit desperate in this dress.

      • jabes

         I agree.  Trying too hard.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1476648069 Scott Cooper

      I completely agree about the make up.  She looks like she’s just coming down from a three-day bender.

    • Call me Bee

      Someone should take this dress out back and put it out of it’s misery.  On Halle, it’s kinda ugly.  On the model, even worse!  This is noboday’s dress….

    • mjude

      i dont know what the deal is, lighting, dress, bad makeup. but she looks a wee bit zombie dead in the face.

    • jilly_d

      that dress looks even worse on the model – two little deflated leather cups where the boobies should be……. as Heidi would say, it’s sad.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Katie-Heim/708520610 Katie Heim

      I hate it on the skinny model. She just needed it adjusted a bit around the hips. She looks fierce, and ya’ll are cray cray on this one, boys. Sorry to say. 

    • B_C_J

      I am on the fence regarding this dress.  The top is fine and it fits Ms. Berry much better than the model.  The bottom portion is apparently too tight and the cutouts in the bottom portion would make me question the taste level of the designer.  However, she does need a little more makeup.  It is possible that she just arrived in Moscow and was in fact jetlagged. It appears she needs a little more concealer and a bit more color.  I will admit, though, that even at her worst, Ms. Berry still looks pretty amazing.

    • mhleta

      Hmm. I’m on the fence. The belly button is killing it for me. But I give points for being adventurous and hot. Pretty sure most straight men wouldn’t have a bad thing to say about this look.

    • Eva_baby

      Just to echo…. Girl, this is NOBODY’s Dress!  I think it is the cut-outs on the bottom that make is particularly bad.  But I do say that Halle is wearing it much better than the model is.  At least she is making it look less terrible.

    • Tatiana Luján

      The dress is tacky. It looks like it was made by Dimitri in his worst tacky moment. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=535548244 Kim Baker Vidas Davey-Irvin

      yeah, still … not bad enough for schadenfreude, dammitall anyway.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      Schadenfreudelicious indeed. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=751285857 Sally Brownson

      I’m sorry T Lo, but… she still looks 10 million times hotter than I do when I look as good as I get. Not enough for schadenfreude. 

    • Warrior89

      Hmm, I disagree.  Don’t love the dress, but it works on her.  She’s really so beautiful she can pull off most anything.

    • sashaychante

      Anytime the outline of your navel is apparent, the garment is not for you.

      • l_c_ann

        And, worse, when it’s leather and your naval shows…..way, way too tight.

    • Le_Sigh

      Oh Halle – I loveyagurl, but even your fabulous bod can’t make this work right.

      Agreed on her makeups TLo – it gives her dark mean eye circles when it should not.  She’s probably also dead tired with the whirlwind poledancing from the press tour.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I hate that the chevrons are pointing to her lady parts.  this is an awful dress, not even the size 00 model can bring it off.  Halle deserves better than this.

    • http://www.facebook.com/linda.b.noble.92 Linda Brinkley Noble

      Halle is gorgeous, but at some point, you have to give up the bondage band aid dress- I think it’s time….

    • http://twitter.com/irmaladuce_l8ly IrmaLaDuce

      Gotta disagree. I think she looks hot as hell!

    • shopgirl716

      She has an amazing body and looks tired.  I looked at her and immediately figured Nahla must been sick last night.  It has happened to me many times.  She’ll hand the baby off to the nanny, get a good nap and be back to fabulous in no time.

    • crash1212

      I think Halle looks better in it than the model does…she fills it out nicely and I think the lady-parts cut out hits her in a better place than the model. It is a difficult dress though. I like her make-up…just think she looks tired and sometimes make-up cannot hide that.

    • Judy_J

      I think this dress would have been fine on her if she’d gone up a size.  It’s just too darn tight!

    • Trisha26

      The dress looks very difficult for anyone to wear. She looks like she has no makeup at all. 

    • Contralto

      Thank you, Halle.

    • http://TheDoseofReality.com/ The Dose of Reality

      I hate to say it, but I think she is pulling this off. Yes, even needing to go up a size. Damn, she can pretty much wear anything. 

    • neofashionista

      I think she looks great but just a little uncomfortable or self conscious which is why she is not WERQing it

    • elzatelzabelz

      I think she looks pretty good. I think she looks pretty great wearing most things actually- B*tch!

    • guest2visits

      Yes; thank God – make-up consult please!   She’s got great skin, why shouldn’t it look good?   She just needs to change it up from
      whatever she’s always been used to.     She needs to seperate herself from the tight black-corset dresses too.

    • cleverlady

      It’s an ugly dress.  If Halle Berry can’t make a dress look good…. it’s an ugly dress.

      And, am I the only one that thinks leather should be used for jackets, coats, gloves, shoes, boots, luggage, purses … hats  (maybe)…. vests (in a pinch)  but NOT dresses…. and especially not for dresses with leather and “illusion” netting.  Fabric, people.  Play with all the wonderful fabric out there and leave the leather for … well, all those other things.

      Now…don’t get me started on all this cut out nonsense……….Blech!

    • zingit

      I wish I could have a dress “not work” for me like that!

    • TieDye64

      For me the worst part is really the makeup. It doesn’t look horrid, but this thing she’s been doing for a while isn’t so flattering. As far as the dress, no. Not her dress. It’s just not made for the curvy girl (though it’s not hideous. bitch), and it’s too tight.

    • quiltrx

      She looks like a really wide S&M superheroine, and I’m sure she’s neither.  Not her dress…and there aren’t many we can say that about.

    • PhillipWilde

      This dress was meant for Anna Kendrick.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      She got the genetics and the green, but I wish she’d stop dressing like a 20 year old.  

    • decormaven

      It’s the chevrons in the dress that disturb. Boob pointers, really? And the way the directions change in the lower part of the dress, it gives the appearance of a droopy crotch. What? Bless Halle, she is doing a ton of PR for this movie, which doesn’t seem to be gaining traction.

    • WittyCism

      Oh, now I get it!  She’s in character, y’all.  She’s doing her X-Men’s Storm, right?

    • ccm800

      Yes please someone kill her zombie face look please. 

    • Coralie Legister

      I think she looks better than the model though.

    • glennethph

      Wow, in a way, she reminds me of Barb, the attention-loving cougar on wait for it…Cougar Town. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1239961104 Jean Albus

      Right on about the eyes. It’s the first thing my gaze goes to when her photo comes up. And I always think, “Girl’s getting old.”

    • SophieCollier

      Uhhhh… I dunno, fellas.  I think she’s smokin’ in this.  Sure, it’s snug, but there’s not a roll or a saddlebag to be seen.

      • Dagney

        Right?  I love that she always looks super fit.  That body was made by hard work, not a knife.

    • UptownNippy

      I think it is an appropriate dress for Moscow…but it is too tight on her.  If your belly button shows through the outside of your dress then it is tacky.  It is tight and wrinkly and riding up but I think the idea was good.

      Some chicks just can’t go up a size when they need to.  Odd. 

    • Dagney

      Are you kidding????!!!??? She looks amazing!  In fact I’d say this is a “That is only your dress” post.  On the makeup, the lighting looks a little odd and I think it’s washing her out.

      In.  WERQ. Pure Halle Awesomeness.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002396153672 Ann Martina

      She’s starting to get that Renee Zellweger “wound up really tight” look