That’s Not Your Suit: Bradley Cooper in Tom Ford

Posted on October 23, 2012

We do so love the Tom Ford disco 3-piece, but the more we see it, the more we think it’s a tough one to pull off.


Bradley Cooper attends the 16th Annual Hollywood Film Awards Gala presented by The Los Angeles Times in Tom Ford.

It’s so … shiny. And since it’s so fitted and shiny, the slightest discrepancy or flaw in the fit is lit up like a neon sign.Things are pulling and reflecting light and generally doing an all-around great job at not being flattering.  There’s something appealingly masculine about the cut and the way it broadens the shoulders and deepens the chest, but it also has a tendency to turn the midsection into a trunk on all but the tallest and willowiest of men. The pale color and unbuttoned jacket don’t help in that regard.  We genuinely like this suit. We just don’t think it’s Bradley Cooper’s.

Don’t even get us started on the fucking hair. How do you not see those little wings on either side of your head? How do you not think it’s a deal-breaker on the whole going-out-the-front-door thing? He looks like a crime boss’ henchman on Charlie’s Angels; the kind that even Shelley Hack could take out. It looks like a Raquel Welch wig. Oh, we can’t with that hair.



[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • “Dude, that’s not your suit.”  🙂  Parallel to:  “Girl, that’s not your dress.”

  • MoHub

    So much needs to be better. Fit and grooming for starters.

    •  This is one of those ‘See, I put on a suit for you so get out of my face’ looks. He needs a shave and a major haircut. And that suit makes him look thick in the middle – now, he might actually BE a little thick in the middle and could use a different cut but the fabric in that suit is horrible. The armscye on the jacket is a tad low as well, which is causing things to wrinkle there. This is one of those ‘is trying but not succeeding’ looks.

  • llou56

    I just don’t understand his fanatic following.  I think he always looks douchey.

    • Mary229

      I don’t understand it either.  And he keeps winding up in movies with these really amazing actors.  He’s getting billed for the next David O’Russell movie alongside Christian Bale, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner all whom are super talented.   Right now though, I just can’t get past this suit.   Who thought this suit was a good idea? 

      • Sobaika

        I’ve followed his career for a while – he was on Alias and Jack & Bobby and probably a few other good shows. He’s talented. I wouldn’t say C.Bale-talented but maybe he could be. Unfortunately for his movie career, he does seem to be one of those actors who receives megatons of buzz and publicity for seemingly no reason.

        • AnaRoW

          I think he gets publicity and comes off douchey because he sort of looks like Mel Gibson.  (Although he’s much smarter and actually not a douche (to my knowledge.)) He’s been in a few hit comedies so it’s not surprising he’s gets lots of press.  The only really positive acting buzz I’ve seen on him was for Limitless.

        • kimmeister

          He will always be Will Tippen to me.  <3

          • Billie_Dawn

            My friends and I still call him “Will-from-Alias” in conversation, rather than using his actual name.

            I never in a million years would have guessed that he would have ended up being the biggest star from that show.

      •  Get ready to eat those words. He is phenomenal in Silver Linings Playbook, also directed by David O. Russell. I wouldn’t be shocked if he were nominated for Best Actor.

    • To me, he looks like Mickey Doyle from Boardwalk Empire. And that is not a compliment. 

    • I fell in love with him in Kitchen Confidential and I find him incredibly attractive and hot. I also like his acting because he can pull of humour and he can pull off serious. He’s not as varied an actor as other people but I heard he’s really good in Silver Linings Playbook so I’m super pumped for that. I am proudly a part of his fanatic following

  • “sexiest man alive”

    • Seriously. He’s better qualified for DOUCHE of the year.

    • Kristin McNamara

      Right? He is lookin ROUGH in these pictures….

  • You really have to be built like John Travolta in the 70s to wear this. I hate the way his shirt is peeking out of the unbuttoned bottom of the waistcoat. But I really don’t understand this man’s attraction anyway.

  • Sobaika

    That’s not his suit OR hair. How do supremely good-looking people get it so wrong so often? Failure to understand.

  • I knew so many boys in high school that had that hair. I hated it then. I hate it now. Also? SHAVE YOUR FUCKING NECK.

    It’s a very shiny suit. I like the way it fits across the shoulders, but the rest is just so…shiny. And rumpled.

    I do have a question – why is the lower button always left unbuttons on single-breasted suits? 

  • as a serious, middle of the frozen tundra Canuck, let me tell you, that is hockey hair ALL THE WAY.  This is exactly what a large part of our male population’s hair looks like while they’re too lazy to cut it and they wear either a ball cap or a helmet so it trains itself to flip up from out from under them like that.  If it’s NOT “hockey hair”?  Well, I got nothin’.

    • kschwarting

      As a serious, middle of the frozen tundra Alaskan, I think you’re onto something.  It could also be referred to as “hunter hair,” as a hunting cap would do approximately the same thing.  But I don’t think BCoop has been out hunting for anything, except maybe someone on whom to inflict his douchey-ness.

  • Patricia Gillett

    “He looks like a crime boss’ henchman on Charlie’s Angels; the kind that even Shelley Hack could take out.”

    I pity anyone who is not old enough to understand the awesomeness of this smack-down on the hair. Truly epic. 

    • kno1ok

      Also pity me because I’m so old that I was over the show before Shelly Hack (the Charlie Girl!) arrived on the scene.

  • SistaT

    The suit makes him look thick around the middle, like he has a paunch.  And the pants are a bit tight . . . I can see that he “dresses to the left”.

    • StellaZafella

       Mae West quote for the day: “Ohhh hunny, yer pants’re so tight I can see yer religion.”

      • mountainFashionista

         OMG, I’m going to be laughing about this line for the rest of the day!

  • Mary229

    Oh my.  This is extremely unflattering.  I just don’t understand this at all.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Hey, Cooper. The 90s called, they want their pseudo-college-student-on-a-tv-show-in-UPN hair back.

  • GorgeousThings

    There’s something so… “Wild West” about that look. Maybe it’s how high the vest comes on it. I bet if he took off the jacket he’s wearing armbands. It looks like he should be on a train car coming up with some steampunk-style 18th century robot thingy.

    • mjude


  • deathandthestrawberry

    I don’t get his appeal at all. Hollywood’s insistence on him being leading man material baffles me. He’s not an appealing actor, nor is he all that attractive, and the whiff of douche is strong. Bring me Chris Hemworth or Paul Rudd any day. 

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      I agree.  Paul Rudd is adorable.

  • decormaven

    Cracking me UP with that Raquel Welch wig shout-out! Remember those plastic wigs they used to sell in the Sears Wish Book? Now I can’t get that visual out of my head. The suit is a nice cut, but it’s not for Bradley Cooper. And the fabric is the wrong choice for the glare of the RC lights.

  • MilaXX

    why does he always look sunburned?

  • Jessi03

    Please give that suit to Blair Underwood.

    • MilaXX

       yes! He will have it pressed and wear it correctly.

      • Jessi03

        And the color will look divine on him.  

  • Anathema_Device

    Yes, this is the male version of a satin dress, of which we see far too many wrinkly, crumpled ones on these pages. I think the shiny suits look better in dark colors.

    • muzan-e

      Oh my goodness, dark shiny suits. Yes. I remember – and I wish I could find a photograph but this was years ago – Outkast stepping up to receive an award on some music show.  They all looked terribly sleek, but one of them – huge guy, the sort of build that has to be difficult to fit – steps up wearing this shimmering, plum-purple suit. 

      It was a jaw-dropper. Just unbelievably slick and insanely hot. All these years later I still don’t know why more men don’t try that combination of colour and finish. 

      • Anathema_Device

         Some young actor was rocking them for a time recently. I think it was the werewolf from Twilight. He looked really good in them. I think those dark, slim, shiny suits imprinted on me as a young teen in the late 70s, when new wave guys were doing the 60s mod look. Such a great look on the right guy.

  • quiltrx

    He looks shlumpy and messy.  You must ride in the Popemobile to the event if you’re going to wear such a shiny suit.

    And his hair is a damned nightmare.  He does nothing for me anyway, but I think a haircut is in order.

  • Little_Olive

    Oh TLo, for a minute there I was afraid you wouldn’t address that THING on his head. Phhiiuu. 

    What the hell is up with the color, cut, length, thickness, body and every imaginable aspect of the rug on that head! The suit just makes it worse.  

  • You guys were so focused on the hair you did not ding him for the incipient neckbeard (another emigre from Neckbeardistan has arrived), the jacked tab waist without a belt which is doing extremely funky things under the open bottom of the vest, or the open, sloppy collar.  An open sloppy collar on a white shirt under an uber-fitted 3 piece suit simply does not work, the neckline of that vest NEEDS a polished, finished, pressed, buttoned collar  in some other color than stark white, which is heliographing in the lights, paired with a judiciously chosen necktie, tied properly and snugged  up against the collar band.

    Sweetie, betake thyself to a barber stat, and set this suit free so that it can find its way to someone else.

    • Lori

      “another emigre from Neckbeardistan has arrived”

      This is the illegal immigration we should be fighting. Close the border with Neckbeardistan!

  • elleg929

    His “Alias” hair was MUCH WORSE!!

    • kimmeister

      To be fair to him, they did that to his hair to distinguish him from my screen husband Michael Vartan.  When he showed up again in Season 3 the hair was looking goooood.

  • Dot

    He is a good-looking guy, but that quasi mullet and damn neckbeard has to go. I would probably like this suit far more if it were constructed out of a darker, less shiny fabric.

  • “He looks like a crime boss’ henchman on Charlie’s Angels; the kind that even Shelley Hack could take out.” It’s this kind of line that makes you guys one of my few daily must-reads. 

  • DaveUWSNYC

    I worked for hours in the ’70s to get those little wingies on the side of my hair…they’re wrong here but they touched my soul.

    • Anathema_Device

       I, too, let out a nostalgic, “Awwwww…” when I scrolled back up to look at his wings after T Lo’s mention of them.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Good god. Everything about that suit does not compute.

  • BrooklynBomber

    the whole going-out-the-front-door thing? 


  • SapphoPoet

    So I was searching the TLo site for pictures of Chris Hemsworth (ahem) and found a post that said Bradley Cooper had been named The Sexiest Man of 2011. Good thing whoever was doing the voting didn’t see this picture–he never even would have been in consideration. 

    • julnyes

      What a man actually looks like has very little to do with “winning” that “award”.

  • sashaychante

    His hair doesn’t bother me, but I think that suit is cheesy.  

  • Le_Sigh

    He’s never really done it for me.  There’s something artificial and almost sterile about him – like John Travolta and Ryan Reynolds had a baby.

    Oh right the look.  Ehhh…. just no.  He just looks so pleased with himself doesn’t he?  

    • mountainFashionista

       Yep, he’s another one on my “Really? People think he’s sexy?” list.  Artificial and sterile nail it!

  • Susan Crawford

    If only Ford made this suit in ANY other fabric it probably would be fabulous. But between the shininess and those shadow stripes and the glaring black buttons and buttonhole stitching it looks trashy.

  • My first thought was that it would look perfect on someone like Jack Huston or Nicholas Hoult or Arthur Darvill…then realized, just put it on some skinny Brit.  But a hale and hearty American, with his disco hair, looks a little schlumpy.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    I love Bradley Cooper, but that is NOT  in this suit.  It just doesn’t work, for all of the reasons uncles TLo enumerated.

  • Remember when he was the geeky room-mate on Alias? Douchiest!

    • kimmeister

      He was never the roommate, Francie was.  He just hung out at their place a lot.  🙂

  • Poor dear — his hair is at that awful “in between” stage. 🙁

  • miagain

    I bet it looks different  (better) out of the glaring lights…

  • spooki C

    That hair is so bad I can’t even see the suit. It looks like it’s about to fly away!

  • In_Stitches

    As far as shiny suits go, I’ll take the oil slick look over this quicksilver number.    

  • That’s total Oompa-Loompa hair.  Ugh.

  • Zippypie

    A shiny sausage, and not in a good way.  A shiny sausage with wings.

  • VicksieDo

    The part about the hair…wheeze….slapping my desk…..LOL

  • Imasewsure

    Very Jan Michael Vincent at the prom… but he will always get a pass from me because of the Hangover. Well, maybe not always but for a while longer anyway

  • kathryn_dc

    Thank you! That hair is the worst. Personally I think he has mean eyes, so I’ve never liked him but I really can’t with that hair!

  • DeborahJozayt

    He needs to cut his hair. He’s growing wings.

  • e jerry powell

    Now he looks like a cheap, sleazy emu.

  • PastryGoddess

    I’m thinking Michael Fassbender needs to have that suit

  • His wig is from the Marilyn Quayle collection, circa 1989.

  • perhaps he is going for a bubble flip do, a la sixties in san fernando valley.

  • The HAIR. Ugh.

  • He’s a straight guy.

  • ‘Raquel Welch wig’ is going to crack me up for the rest of the day.

  • I think the only way this suit works in the modern world is to have it fit impeccably, and to be totally clean shaven and have perfectly manicured hair.

  • He looks hangover 🙂

  • Not his suit, for sure.  Mostly, though, he needs a trip to the barber, really bad!!!

  • Lay off the LSD Coop!

  • Don’t know why there’s so much hating going on. He’s from the Philly area and was doing a shoot here not so long ago. It was cold, and there were homeless people nearby. He sent his people out to buy them coats.  I am a big fan of Mr Cooper.

    • nankipoo

      And yet, even that somehow screams ‘Douchebag!’.

      • really? sounds like a nice guy to me

        • B_C_J

           sounds like a very nice man to me

  • please shave.

  • nankipoo

    The crotch is riding too high. Also, since there is something about him that instantly screams ‘Douchebag!’ at four hundred paces, he needs to dress against that. Shiny grey suit, bouffant hairdo, child molester’s smirk – these all need to be mitigated.

  • butter nut

    this is kenny rogers’ suit from 1981.

  • guest2visits

    He does kind of look like he boogie-oogie-oogie’d the night away. And totally Charlie’s Angels. Cute guy; the suit is not his best look.

  • His hotness transcends shiny suits and hair wings for me. 

  • I saw him on TV and could not take my eyes off that flippy-do hair….

  • ccm800

    a shiny dwarf.