Red Carpet Pairs Division: Watts and Schreiber

Posted on October 22, 2012

We don’t know what it is about these two, but every time we see them together, it just feels like a short social obligation between non-stop, marathon fuck sessions.


Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber attend the 2012 ‘Take Home a Nude Benefit Art Auction’ at Sotheby’s in NYC. Naomi Watts wore a Victoria Beckham dress paired with Christian Louboutin shoes, and Valentino bag.

Victoria Beckham Fall 2012 Collection/Model: Kate King

Look at them. They’re scoping out broom closets for quickies while they’re posing. And they did some unzipping and zipping in that limo.

Anyway, let’s judge them. As if the previous 40 words weren’t judgmental.

SHE: Is wearing that same dress Vicki Posh wore (and designed) for the cover of Elle France. It’s a great dress, but we’re thinking a more colorful version was needed for the red carpet. This looks a bit like something you’d wear to a luncheon, assuming you attend luncheons to do anything but eat. Also, she needed to make some adjustments when she got out of the limo. It’s all riding up on her and this dress is supposed to be all about the sleekness. But what REALLY drives us nuts is her accessories. She wore a neutral -colored dress, and then paired it with neutral accessories – in neutrals that actually clash with each other. It’s pretty damn hard to fine neutrals that clash, but bless her, she did. And frankly, the shoes are kind of ugly. Switch them out for something more classic-with-a-twist, get a colored version of that dress and purse, and you might have had yourself a WERQ, honey. As it is… Score: 5/10. For REALLY bad accessorizing.

HE: Is sporting his look. It’s his thing. Dark suit, white shirt, dark tie; all with as little color as possible. Here is what we appreciate: despite being disheveled and lacking color, his suit fits him well, as far as we can tell. It might be lacking in excitement, but this look is a style classic, and there’s something appealing about the mountain man head paired with the Don Draper suit. And we are HIGHLY appreciative of the fact that he keeps that mountain man head of his appropriately trimmed and styled for public appearances. The beard really suits him, and it looks great when it’s well-trimmed and paired with a suit. Bottom line: he’s wearing a classic look, that suits and fits him, and he kept his head trimmed appropriately for the venue and the outfit. The worst we can say is that he’s disheveled. Score: 8/10. A little color next time. And it’s not hard to straighten your tie and close your jacket.

Combined Score: 6.5/10. Basically, they both need to add some color to their wardrobe and stop unzipping each other in the limo ride on the way over.

[Photo Credit: Gettty,]

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  • …and no belt.  that dress looks SO much better with that sweet little belt!

    • mountainFashionista

       Maybe she accidentally left it on the floor of the limo?

      • Judih1

        Yes – leaving the belt on the floor of the limo, must be what happened. Cause surely she didn’t leave the house without the belt -cause it really makes the look

  • PinkLemon

    so….’top button’……is it ok to leave it undone like so? he looks a bit sloppy. but is it too pristine to have it buttoned up?

  • I just can’t with those semi-detached cuffs. Aside from that, the horrible shoes and the too-tight dress she looks great. And they were totally having sex, look at her blush!

    • patticake1601

       Agree!! Those cuffs are making my eye twitch.

  • twocee

    Should’ve kept that belt, should’ve worn better shoes (I would’ve gone with killer boots), and am I seeing things, or is she wearing a peach bra? 

    All in all, the runway version was WAY better.

    •  Hadn’t even noticed that! But yeah, visible bra.

    • kimmeister

      I think it’s the lighting?

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        No, it is very visible.

      • MoHub

         If it were the lighting, one would just see a bit of sheen on the actual breasts. With this, one can clearly see the line of the straps.

        • kimmeister

          Well, on my computer, the same peachy tone I see on her boobs, I can see on her shoulder and hip too, especially in the last picture.  [shrugs]

          • Judy P

            Yeah, there’s an odd “lit from above” thing going on in these photos, so that the shadow of her head makes it look like you can see her bra. No way the fabric on that dress is thin enough to show a bra…

    •  I don’t know if it’s peach or a brighter color, but I can definitely see what appears to be a bra under her dress. Also, she should have kept the belt and fired whatever stylist suggested those shoes.

  • Trisha26

    She needs the belt for that dress and I HATE those partially detached sleeve cuffs. He needs to shave – there are very few men in the world who actually need facial hair. 

    • Tapetum

       Maybe few men NEED facial hair, but there are plenty of us out here who like a nice, well-kept beard. His is yummy, and I would be quite disappointed if he shaved it off.

      No quibbles on the belt/cuff comments, though.

      • RebeccaKW

        He is also one of the few guys that look just as hot with facial hair as without.

  • fringebenefit

    The little black belt makes or breaks that dress. Alas, her mind is on other things, as TLo mentions.

  • ojosazules

    Nothing red carpet about her dress. You could wear that to work in a library and no one would notice. 
    She does look happy as a clam.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    I can’t even look at that dress with the detached sleeves…just no.

  • lucyloo222

    Okay, reality check… if I took limo rides with Liev Schreiber I’d be taking my clothes off, too.  I can’t really judge her for that… not one bit.

    •  THANK YOU.
      Really, he’s well into his way to bear godhood, I’d be doing marathons with him too!

    • pookiesmom

      What I can’t understand is why anyone would judge them NEGATIVELY for not being able to keep their hands off each other. After 7 years and two children, more power to them for acting like horny teens!

      • alyce1213

        I didn’t sense any negativity. Good humored ribbing and a little envy, maybe.

  • Anathema_Device

    The dress is too tight on her, plus she should have worn the belt. Still hate the partially attached cuffs. The shoes are god awful, on their own and with the dress. I might have actually scored her lower than 5.

    I think he looks really ordinary here. Don’t like the loosened tie, either. So, I’d knock a few points off his score, too.

    I’m really not that grumpy today, but I’ll throw in a Blazing Saddles “Harrumph” anyway.


    • quiltrx

      You get a ‘like’ just for harrumphing!  Anathema_Device Johnson is right! 🙂

  • That dress is screaming for the belt and better shoes. Am I really the only one who loves the detached cuff detail?

    • dress_up_doll

      That detached cuff detail is brill! Love.It.To.Death.

  • She’s fading into her clothes & shoes – befitting of the theme of the event – Nude Benefit – but nude as in no color.

  • Carla_Charlton

    Agree about the dress and accessories, but doesn’t her hair and makeup look really good?

  • hughman

    The dress on the model is kind of Bonnie and Clyde-ish but on Watts it veers more 4th grade teacher. She really needed to juzh it up. 

  • Judy_S

    Naomi got a 5/10, and she doesn’t care. 

    • lizajane1776

       My mind is taking this into dirty territory!

      This is the first pair of booties/peeptoe winter shoes that I don’t mind. Probably because they are neutral, but they have that braid/textural interest.

      He doesn’t do it for me.

  • nannypoo

    I hate everything about this dress, from the unflattering color to the bad fit to the weird sleeves to the sleazy fabric to the unattractive length to the silly little peter pan collar that seems to be a trend and which I hate with a fiery passion. He has an enormous head.

    • quiltrx

      I admire your concise list of complaints!  Well done. Sounds like me looking at certain celebs (but not these two).

  • MilaXX

    I wouldn’t score either of them nearly as high.
    She: Either the dress is too tight or it needs adjusting. The accessories are wrong on so many levels. You have tan, fugly shoes, and then a pink toned  bag that, as you pointed out, clash horribly with this pale gray/burgundy dress AND each other. I would have settled for a basic black shoe & bag over either of the ones we see here. Other than a “oh so practical” watch and the most basic of earring there was no effort in the jewelry department. 4/10
    He is equally as basic and a tad sloppy looking. Other than the fact that the suit actually fits him, there is really nothing to earn points here. 5.5/10 for a half-hearted effort.

    4.75/10 total

  • B_C_J

    The color of the dress is washing her out a bit.  The dress is definitely too tight and the shoes are indeed ugly. 
    The suit does fit him well. My only quibble is that his shirt collar is undone and the tie is loosened.  

  • She totally has that JBF smile on her face.  🙂

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Yes, she does that post JBF glow about her-and more power to both of them!

    • NinaBoo

      This is what I think whenever I see Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem together. They have no qualms with looking like they just got off the limo floor. It’s quite awesome.

  • Those shoes are tragic…

  • The shoes and the bag… YIKES! She definitely should have opted for more color. I think the blue on Victoria would have been too bold for her, though. 

  • Note to Robert Pattinson :  THIS is a Beard.

    • bitchybitchybitchy


  • MoHub

    Don’t know about the color—I was thinking white—but that bra is definitely visible, and that is not a good thing.

  • Let’s hope their sex life makes up for their boring attire.  She definitely needed a belt, but as another bitter kitten mentioned, it’s probably on the floor of the limo….

  • I dunno, she accessorized better than the model; he’s in a very adorable phase lately, and he used to be sorta creepy.

  • They really are gorgeous.

  • You guys are a laugh riot.

  • blissful2

    I actually think she deliberately dressed for her man, they’re at the  “Take Home a Nude Benefit”.  

    I like the dress and especially her makeup.

  • PastryGoddess

    see RPatz, this is how you rock a beard on the Red Carpet.  

  • I like it without the belt but I’ll *never* understand how one could pick out that handbag and those shoes to wear with it. 

    I guess she was taking “Take home a nude” a little too literally.

  • Oh Liev Schreiber, what a hunka man. Of course, for me, I need that rumbly bass voice of his, as well. I started watching “Secrets of the Dead” there for a while when he was narrating, just so I could listen to him for an hour or two. The beard suits him.

  • librarygrrl64

    My first thought was, “Why didn’t she wear the blue version?”

  • 8/10 for that ridiculous tie and loose collar? No slim glimpse of white shirt at the cuffs? The rumply blazer and pants? I have to say, I think most male stars dressing in this manner would have had a dressing down; he’s just not well put together–a 6 at the most. 

    Look, he gives me wood too, but dear me, he does not deserve kudos for just putting on a suit, trimming his beard, and showing up. Is this what male celebrities should be looking to for inspiration? No. No no no.

  • formerlyAnon

    I’m not a big fan of facial hair, but gentlemen, THIS is how you do it. At least to be photographed all dressed up.

    You’re kind of strict with her, but it’s not like your assessments are wrong. I’d have thrown her another point. Maybe 1.5 except that I don’t actually like either her bag or her shoes. [I’d probably like the shoes o.k. in another color. Well, black and most of the darker end of the red/wine/maroon family.]

  • quiltrx

    That’s a really cute dress, but I agree that the sleekness (plus there’s something about the belt) makes it, and she’s not looking too sleek…maybe she even needed to go up a size, because the riding up seems to have some pulling going on too.  And those accessories make me want to die.  As a huge black/white/grey outfit fan, I just can’t with these accessories.  And the shoes would still be ugly in black.

    And come on…if I was with Liev Schreiber, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off him either.  (they DO always look like they have naughty little smiles, don’t they???)

  • e jerry powell

    Something about the length of his jacket is bothering me.  Or maybe it’s the width of his pants legs.  I really can’t put my finger on it, but the look just doesn’t feel right.

    That said, I could totally be up for a three-way shag in that broom closet with the both of them, no matter what they’re wearing.

  • I loooooove that purse, just not in that color, with that dress.

  • julesj

    I agree with TLo, the colors totally clash. Ugh. The dress is way too tight. 

  • Candigirl1968

    Love the purse and the watch.  Too much beige, though.

  • guest2visits

    I think she’s finally in a dress that’s young enough for her (or temporarily in a dress – according to this report) and it looks
    really nice on her – agree about the shoes and bag, though.  Handsome guy.

  • decormaven

    Can’t appreciate those shoes, not with that dress. Like her pedi color, but it looks like her nails are bare/different color. Surely there’s a handler traveling with the two of them. Couldn’t he/she get them to smooth/touch up the garments before hitting the RC? Face it- they’re attending this event for the publicity. Who the heck would go otherwise? If you’re there for the cameras, bring your A game, folks.

  • kirkyo

    I’ve been crushing on Liev for the past 17 years, or whenever Daytrippers came out. He hasn’t just aged well…he’s even hotter and I love his understated, classic style.

  • msdamselfly

    I think she looks beautiful

  • AmeliaEve

    The reason her dress looks tight yet wrinkly is because it’s too long in the waist. It’s one of the most frustrating fit problems to tailor for and there are no quick fixes. It’s sitting properly on her waist and hips, but the bust of the dress is hitting too low on her, and then the fabric bunches at the midriff. If you pinched the shoulders of the dress and lifted up an inch, the curves would match up with her body.  As it is now, there is no real way for her to smooth it out.

  • bitterk

    Love the look on the runway.  Posh continues to impress.

  • oohsparkley!

    Thanks Tlo! This post has made me horny. Can I borrow Liev for a few minutes? The clothes are blah.