Project Runway All-Stars: Hit It, Hos!

Posted on October 26, 2012

The word for today is “onward,” darlings.

Let us not linger on the events of the past; let us not fret over events yet to come; let us only move ever onward, to new challenges.

Sorry. We’re awash in political ads at the moment. Anyway, Project Runway NEVER STOPS and you CAN’T ESCAPE IT. This train is moving, people.

 

And it barely has time to scoop up all these old attention whores and get them on their way.

 

Honestly, once the joy of seeing the new and improved patchouli-scented version of Wendy Pepper wore off, it was a standard PR episode, except with more knowledgeable than usual contestants and a much bigger prize at the end. Not a lot of excitement, but everyone sure knew how to work a camera.

So… two teams; they each have to pick a stupid word from the cheapass PR board of vagueness:

 

It is to LOL. How do you make a collection around the concept of “Accepting?” The two teams go off in wildly different conceptual directions, with one team choosing “confident” and the other choosing “bold.” How thrilling to know that they are going to make mini-collections based around two words found on the cover of every fashion magazine for the last 60 years. It’s so “bold!” We admire their “confidence!’

 

New Schmeidi. Kinda stuck up, if you ask us.

 

But this is generally a good team of judges, we have to say.

 

Anyway, there really wasn’t much in the way of drama, just the usual delusional “I’m BACK! And this time I’M GOING TO WIN IT! *pose* *grin*” awkwardness.

So let’s hit the runway, bitches.

 

Anthony

 Congratulations, Anthony! You are clearly the judges’ pet this time around, which means we should probably just skip all the tsuris and hand you the check right now. Which isn’t to say this isn’t nice; it’s just that it was pretty standard all around and probably not quite as deserving of the hosannas it got.

 

Ivy

Ivy was on her very best I’m-NOT-a-bitch behavior (we’ll see), and turned out what we thought should have been the winning look. The lace really makes the jacket and it’s beautifully executed. This was chic, wearable, and had a slight twist to it. Shouldabin the winner.

 

Casanova

The judges raved, but we thought it was forgettable.

 

 

Althea

 Not bad.

 

Kayne

Oh, Kaynebow. We have missed you, you little sparkle, you. It’s amazing he got this done in the time alloted. It’s a perfectly fine, perfectly pageant gown, but it had nothing to do with the rest of the mini-collection. He’s just gonna make pageant gowns until they eliminate him. And why not? It’s free advertising for his business.

 

Uli

Pretty. That thing running down the front is awkward.

And now, Team Bold – or was that Team Bold we just did?

And now, the … other team.

 

Wendy

 She’s trying, we’ll give her that. This actually isn’t bad; it’s just that it’s way too short and the bustline’s a little on the gimmicky side.

 

Laura

 Very standard. Boring.

 

Emilio

 Very Emilio. Also boring, with a side of vulgar.

 

Josh

 CRAZY-ASS MESS.

His outfit’s not good either.

 

Suede

 Actually, we’re impressed he got this done, considering he looked sweaty and wasted through the entire episode. Seriously, what was up with THAT?

And what woman wants bra cups on her shoulders? Apparently, in his haze, he got the idea in his head that this was the unconventional materials challenge.

 

 

Andrae

 Another hot-ass mess. We were actually a little disappointed that his first entry was so bad.

 

Peach

But it’s Schmauf Wiedersehen to Peach, bless her tennis-loving heart. Like everyone else here, she’s just in it to get some advertising for her own business, so she said the phrase “tennis clothes” 400 times in 42 minutes;  250 times on the runway alone. Unfortunately, this was not a tennis clothes kind of challenge – or more accurately, she failed to integrate her tennis country club aesthetic into the collection. The result was this sad mess of a dress. It’s not necessarily the worst dress on the runway, but it had no point of view to it. It felt like Peach’s answer to a problem – How do I get through this challenge? – rather than a design in its own right.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Still: tomandlorenzo.com]

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