Nikki Reed & Kellan Lutz, Poledancing for Twilight

Posted on October 31, 2012

Darlings, Nikki and Kellan are poledancing their way through the U.K. to promote the last of their little fang pics. Let’s become judgmental.

 

Nikki Reed and Kellan Lutz attend the photocall for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 in Glasgow, United Kingdom. Nikki wore a Dolce&Gabbana dress paired with Rupert Sanderson sandals.

Okay. Wow. Kids? We don’t know how to say this, but you both look terrible. Nikki’s dress looks like it was made out of the lining to an old piece of luggage. And that lace, while it almost certainly did not, looks like it came out of a 99 cent notions bin at a craft store. What we’re trying to say here is: it’s bad, Nikki. It’s really, really bad.

As for him – actually hold that thought:

 

Kellan Lutz and Nikki Reed attend ‘The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2′ UK Fan Q&A Session. Nikki wore a Skaist-Taylor dress paired with Ferragamo sandals.

We’ve seen Kellan in person. In fact, Tom bumped smack into him one time at Fashion Week. Believe us when we say that Kellan does not have a gut. We would think the roughly 6 million shirtless pictures of him will back up our assertion. We don’t quite know how someone with a bod as rocking as his manages to dress themselves into a beer gut, but somehow he found the exact right cuts of clothing to pull it off, and then wore them really sloppily to complete the picture. And he looked so sassy the other day in New York. Tsk.

She looks like a religious cult member on singles night at the compound. There. We said it.

You two kids need some serious help.

 

[Photo Credit: Landmark/PR Photos, Martin Fraser/Getty Images]

Tags: , , , , , ,

  • Rand Ortega

    “Okay. Wow. Kids? We don’t know how to say this, but you both look terrible.”
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
    GAWD. When did ‘unmade bed” become a fashion statement? Get a steamer, fer Christ’s sake! There’s no excuse for this!

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    I don’t really care about her dresses because what they have done to her hair is so, so awful. Poor lass.

    • RebeccaKW

       I know.  I was so distracted by the hair, I could barely focus on the clothes.

    • lovelyivy

       After seeing her and the post about the latest Bond girl rocking several terrible hairstyles I have started to wonder if there was a hair convention in Brooklyn and all the stylists got stuck due to Sandy, leaving the stars to wander around looking a HOT MESS until they could be evacuated.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

    Major cocker spaniel hair happening in the second set of photos. I guess that’s an improvement from the convertible hair look in the first set.

  • MoHub

    She needs a good hairbrush. And after getting her hair right, she should be spanked with the brush.

  • Snailstsichr

    I’m thinking her bra doesn’t fit right in the first dress. (Though bless her for wearing one.)
    She could wear the second dress for Halloween – add either fangs or a witch hat and you have a passable, though pathetic, costume.

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

       The first one could be a Halloween costume too. It’s getting very close to spooky baby-doll.

  • Jessi03

    Please please please cut her hair.

  • Janet B

    They both have beautiful faces.

    Did they dress themselves?  Nikki’s hair is a mess.  Kellan’s clothes made me laugh.

  • Trisha26

    I don’t mind the black dress, it’s a little boring, and her hair is sort of tentacle-y, but she’s very pretty and young so the look works for me. He just looks like a mess. And what’s with all these male stars wearing shoes that a thrift store would reject? On a side note, I’ve seen all the Twilight films but I have no idea which characters these 2 play or if they even have dialogue. Thank the movie gods this is the last one.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1230057270 Allie Carter

    I think “make a garment out of the lining of this old piece of luggage” would be an excellent PR challenge.

  • jilly_d

    wtf is with her hair?  I’ve seen better looking hair in my shower drain.  yikes.

  • Joyce VG

    Her hair looks good. 

  • librarygrrl64

    “Her HAIR, Louisa!!!”

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      I wish she were wearing a petticoat long enough to have it 6″ deep in mud.

      • librarygrrl64

        Indeed. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see YOUR sister making such an exhibition of herself.

  • Introspective

    He looks like a suburban dad at a coffee shop. No need to discuss.

    Her dress in look 1 evokes dirty bras in a laundry pile and in look 2 a shapeless black tent. Hair is matted x 2.

    My kid’s halloween costume has a better fit and color story than these two’s outfits . They arent worth the time I took to type this with my thumbs on my phone.

  • kolokOlchik

    I have to say he looks a lot slimmer in the first outfit.  In the second one he looks like a tree trunk

  • kittenwithaquip

    Peaches Christ, what is going  on with her hair? I expect that first photo of her to have a caption under it that mentions she was found at 4am, cuddled up in some suburban stranger’s toddler bed, tripping balls on acid. Sad, sad, sad.

  • NC_Meg

    In the first one Nikki looks like she should be singing “It’s a Hard Knock Life” on a dirty staircase. Lord have mercy, woman. 

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      LOL!

  • mjude

    LMFAO!!!!

  • bookish

    The skirt part of that first dress looks like a skirt I picked up at a thrift store in college to wear dancing on 80s nights (although mine was plaid). That is not a good thing.

  • JasmineAM

    WTF is wrong with her hair???? Besides that atrocity, I HATE dropped waist dresses and think that they flatter NO ONE on this planet. Also, Kellan: you’re too hot to be that orange. 

  • granddelusion

    They both look awful, BUT: She is working at doing something, and he just rolled out of bed.

  • gabbilevy

    Shameful, both of them (says the girl in pajamas who needs a shower! Hey–I’m stuck across country, working from home, while I wait for my rescheduled flight back east. Thanks, Sandy!)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_F73LIJ3SJGI5AJQMXMWXCKILHI Pamela

    WTF w/ her hair?  She looks like she was riding in a convertible all day.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Nikki’s dress looks like it was made out of the lining to an old piece of luggage. 
    See, this is why people read this blog (well, one reason): because that’s exactly what the dress looks like, but nobody else would have thought of it. As for her black dress, if it has a hood, it’s an ’80s Norma Kamali I gave to Goodwill. (Served me well and now I wish I still had it!)

    • formerlyAnon

       Mid-century Samsonite.

  • Vera L-

    Nikki needs to get out of Winona Ryder’s closet! 

  • FlowerofScotland

    Glasgoooooooww!  I didn’t even know they were here haha but you’re so right – she looks terrible and she’s actually gorgeous really!

  • FlowerofScotland

    Glasgoooooooww!  I didn’t even know they were here haha but you’re so right – she looks terrible and she’s actually gorgeous really!

  • Lilithcat

    That first dress would be cute on a ten-year-old at “The Nutcracker”.  He looks like he’s off to clean out the garage.

  • KateWo

    Wow. I think part of the gut illusion is due to the fact that part of the jacket is tucked under the belt? Hopefully an accident. Sometimes it’s comforting to now how imperfect such beautiful people can be…

  • suzq

    Dolce & Gabbana?  It looks like a bad Etsy “upcycle.”  If it’s D&G, it was purchased on eBay from someone who had it shoved in a corner of her closet for the better part of a year. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/alexandra.pimenta Alexandra Gama Lima Pimenta

    He looks like a wax figure of himself. So odd.

  • littlemac8

    Those children just embarrassed the shit out of themselves…do they know it???  Or do they think they look good??

  • Le_Sigh

    “Little fang pics” I love it when you boys get judgmental!

    What.  The Eff.  Happened to her hair in the first pic?  Did she let a six year old dump a can of Aquanet on it and roll it between some Play-doh?

  • Imasewsure

    They don’t have to look good… it’s Twilight… if it’s not K-Stew or R-Patt in the frame, then the other poledancers might as well be invisible (which they are in these pictures).

  • MilaXX

    They look awful! That first pic makes them both look like they dressed out of the goodwill bin. The second is not that much better, but at least it looks like she gave it a half hearted try,while Kellan just stopped by on his way from Home Depot.

  • formerlyAnon

    Her first dress looks very homemade for some kind of 8th grade theatricals.  I like her in the second. Though the hair needs a bit of weed-wacking.

    His first ensemble is perfectly fine for a casual dinner out with friends if you’re a normal guy. I mean, really casual. Like you’d be eating takeout but your girlfriend won’t let anyone into the apartment because neither of you will clean and she actually cares.

    His second looks even more “normal guy.” As in, “this jacket goes with these pants, right, honey? And navy goes with everything, so I’m good.”

    • RebeccaKW

       I agree.  If this was a man on the street post, I would find nothing (okay, just a few things) wrong with his clothing.  These are running errands clothing, lunch with my mom clothing.  But to a red carpet event?  You can do casual and still be ‘dressed up.’

  • http://twitter.com/iraki86 IraKi

    Hire a hair dresser love. Even a cheap one… or a farmer…. or a pet stylist. Hire somebody to do something with your hair!!!

  • Matt

    He has little doll hands.

  • jw_ny

    I lurv me some Kellan, but he seriously looks like shite here.  

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Dafuck, dood. Fix your belt, fercrissake.

    Ugh. When will this series end? It’s so awful. I didn’t think the awful writing could be beat, but by holy hell, they did it with the movies. 

  • ballerinawithagun

    How does a dress that expensive look so cheap??? Lining fabric for sure.

  • LJCdoc

    I bet she got that dress out of the trunk of someone’s car, & the label actually says “Dolche & Gabana”. I kind of like her shoes in the first one, otherwise, No Way.

  • quiltrx

    Ugh!  How the F does D&G make a dress that look like it came from the clearance rack at Wet Seal?

  • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

    He needs to take off his clothes, then he’d be fine.  I really hate her hair.  Which one is she?  I don’t recognize her…

  • decormaven

    It’s not like the Twilight franchise is hurting for $$. Pony up some money, film execs, and have your stars properly styled for these RC events. Don’t write these off as “fan meet n greets” or downplay their importance; when the camera lens is trained on your people, they must be properly attired. Step it up!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

    The hair.  Needs a comb.  Stat.  Nothing about the tragic bird’s nest mermaid hair?  THIS is why long-haired people are pressured to cut it off.

  • http://twitter.com/bkiersten BridgetK

    It’s hard to get a broad shouldered guy into a shirt that fits but doesn’t make him look like he has a gut, especially in the waif-sized man phase we’re in right now where all shirts are a skinny cut in all the wrong places for barrel chested dudes.  My husband has that problem.  That said, even my husband hires a tailor to fix it and he’s not exactly a fashion guru.

  • tsid2012

    Beer gut illusion or not, I’d still let him do nasty, dirty things.  She just looks haggard and sad………….

  • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

    “She looks like a religious cult member on singles night at the compound.”  FELL OUT LAUGHING at that one!  Yes, they are both hot messes and clearly need major help.  Plus I am so over the whole vampire thing.

  • gg80302

     yawn.
     (What’s the deal with his belt in that last shot?)

  • lizlemonglasses

    Dolce & Gabbana or Forever 21? I’ll never tell!

  • http://stef-lee.tumblr.com/ stef lee

    “Nikki’s dress looks like it was made out of the lining to an old piece of luggage.” And her hair looks like she just emerged from sleeping inside it. HORRIBLE.