Milla Jovovich in Armani Privé

Posted on October 02, 2012

Milla Jovovich IS Queen of the Swamp Lizards!

And y’know? That actually sounds like it could be the title to one of her movies.


Milla Jovovich attends the 2012 DreamBall Gala in New York City in an Armani Privé gown.

Armani Privé Spring 2012 Collection/Model: Nimue Smit (NEXT)

We’ve done our fair share of complimenting MiJo’s style, but we just don’t love this look. And we tried to. No, really. We spent a couple days going back to these pictures and trying to work up some sort of enthusiasm for the look, but we’re just not feeling it. The gown is just so …. heavy, yes? And the colors are so dreary. We suspect the earrings were an attempt to sparkle things up a bit, but the colors clash and stylistically, they’re just all wrong for this look. When you’re wearing an Armani Prive gown – even if it’s a heavy, swamp-colored one – your earrings shouldn’t be the first thing everyone notices.

What do the kittens think? Could this dress be lifted up with some better styling choices? And if so, what are they? We admit, we tried to re-style this in our heads, but nothing can fight the swampiness.


[Photo Credit: Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images,]

    • schadenfreudelicious

      lovely dress in an awful fabric, looks like she wrestled a gator and is sporting the hide…

      • charlotte

         She probably did!

    • imspinningaround

      Katinka Ingaborgovinanana would be very, very disappointed in this dress.

    • petalfrog

      I do love the jewelry — I love huge green earrings. I think the problem is with the shape — it’s soooo boring, very prom or wedding dress. Doesn’t do her any justice. Also, when will this Botox thing STOP?? I am so sick and tired of looking at freakishly tight temples and shiny foreheads on these actresses, especially the younger ones.

    • In_Stitches

      Go bare with the jewelry, crazy with the makeup and slick back the hair in a wet look?  Sure it’s borderline costume-y, but it’s committing to the direction of the dress.  

    • Kiltdntiltd

      I pretty much loathe this dress. Yep. Pretty much.

      • Melvis Velour

        Jeez, it even makes her hips and ass look huge!

    • Pants_are_a_must

      I never thought this day would come, but this is too much dress for Milla Jovovich.

      Which basically means this is too much dress for EVERYONE.

      • DTLAFamilies

        Seriously. If Miss Resident Evil can’t pull this off, who can?

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          I can’t quite commit to loathing this dress;I suspect it’s that TLO came up with Queen of the Swamp Lizards title-I’m just in love with that concept.

        • AudreysMom

           Seriously. She gets credit for doing her best to sell this look, but still a fail.

    • glennethph

      I think she’s the only one who could make this work. Almost.

    • pepper76

      The skirt is overwhelming her just a bit, but I still think she looks fab. Love the hair and makeup, too.

      • foodycatAlicia

        That medieval narrow bodice & empire line is never going to flatter, and the earrings are pulling focus. Great hair, great makeup, great print but should have been a different shape dress. Love the ring too.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      Ugh. I don’t think anything could have saved this one.

    • hyperionic

      Nope can’t be fixed. Too shiny and stiff. Her hair looks like she was inspired by Kristen Stewart.  

    • Mary

      It and the verdigris discs in the earrings are conspiring to make her teeth look green! (bottom photo).  Nothing can save it. It needs to go back to whatever primordial ooze spawned it.  Thanks for the laugh though, the title of this post has made my day…

      • sleah_in_norcal

        i was thinking those discs were jade.  then they would be fabulous.

    • m0r0

      Big ugly earrings eat head.

    • Irina Ryabchuk

      I imagine slicked back “wet” hair, dark lips, fierce face, carrie-style short black gloves and a whip in her hands as a styling option.

      • RebeccaKW

         Yes.  Full-on Lizard Queen, about to steal your soul, rather than LIzard High Prom.

    • Liana Brooks

      Hem the dress up a few feet? Actually, no, get her a new dress and set this one on fire. File it under What A Bad Idea! and call it a day. 

    • Tadiana

      Well … that’s a very cool ring she’s wearing.

    • Judy_J

      It’s a great wedding dress if you’re marrying the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

    • mmc2315

      Nope, it doesn’t work for me.

    • MilaXX

      I think she is wearing that dress and the hair/makeup go well with it. I think a less noticeable earring or maybe a metallic earring in a brushed gold or bronze may have worked. Instead of trying to fight the dress, just go with it. Embrace it as it is

      • Warmheartedgirl Seattle

        Yes!  And a small brushed gold or bronze belt at the waist.  Those earrings just don’t match.  The dress is not the bomb, but you could see how it might work, somehow…

    • teensmom99

      I think it looks as good on her as it could on anybody.

    • VicksieDo

      Embrace the swampiness!  It’s an interesting look, not prom-y, unusual.  I like it a lot.  

    • UglyCasanova

      Love the shape of the dress. Hate the print, just reads lazy designers.

    • jw_ny

      I don’t know what could lift the gown from its dreariness (although I do rather like it), but those earrings are awful and her hair and makeup are tragic…oh, that profile shot!  O.o

    • holzfaellen

      The level of my disappointment can hardly be measured. When I saw the headline “Milla Jovovich in Armani Privé”, I thought this would save my day. Well, this is drab and weird right down to the nail polish…

    • Sarah Caponigro

      Yea, I just can’t.

    • Zula Khramov

      Short version of this dress would look lovely 

    • mellorcr

      In addition to the ugly print, the fabric is just too stiif, too shiny and too puffy.  They haven’t shown the back, but based on the pic from the side, there is something strange and puffy going on in the back.

      • Introspective

         i think volume is what kills the dress. Fabric is hiddy but then theres

        if they had gone with a straight column for the skirt (sort of like the silhouette anne hathway’s blue prive showstopper was at the oscars) this might actually look good. as it stands now, its just bad. local dress shop in crazytown bad.

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      I’m not a big fan of Milla’s “acting” abilities, but she usually brings it on the red carpet … girlfriend looks like crap here … dress, hair, makeup, and accessories all wrong.

    • Mexxoo

      Less earring, more neck.  This looks is designed to be worn by a long-necked sophisticated woman, not by a chin-tucking “aren’t I a sex kitten” poser who hides her neck.  :(

    • SewingSiren

      How bout black crocket mitts and the hair sticking straight up on end? Cobwebs and a three prong candelabra.. 
      It’s really not a bad look for a  Dream Ball gala.

      • janetjb

        It’s a costume.

    • StellaZafella

      The gown is blocky and looks hard to maneuver in…though, Ms J probably moved in it quite well.
      It’s really the print that bothers…it’s too literal; like a photo mural of a pit of snakes. I don’t mind the idea, but when it looks like the designer ripped it off the wall of a local pet shop…it’s a no go.

    • Bert Keeter

      SHAPELESS “loving hands at home!”

    • sweetestsith

      The dress sits very awkwardly on her, especially from the side. Not a fan. There were MUCH cooler dresses in this collection, this one was a mistake.

      However, I will steal all of her jewelry. The pieces are lovely, but way too hippy-chic for this dress.

    • lalahartma

      I like it, but not the earrings.

    • Erin

      I think she’s nodding to the fact that her career is largely cheesy horror films, at this point.  She has scales! What’s not to love?  She’s working both meanings of “fierce” here, IMO (though I don’t like the earrings either).

    • l_c_ann

      Too many people have not have close encounters with real snakes, thus the love of the oversized snake skin pattern. 

      Engulfed by a large snake skin pattern makes it a horrible thing.  The dress in a different pattern wouldn’t have the same yuck factor.

    • Scott Cooper

      Instead of the earrings, she needs a jade or onyx cuff on one of her biceps.  A black velvet choker.  She also needs a bit brighter make up.  A pop of color at the lip.  And sleeker hair.  It’s an edgy print and she’s trying to make it pretty.

    • Kathryn Tewson

      High, tight hair, dramatic eyes, and OPERA GLOVES. 

      • In_Stitches

         I can see it, nice call! 

    • MintaHallWriter

      I actually love the dress. I just hate everything else about her styling, particularly hair and jewelry. She definitely needs a pop of color, maybe in the clutch. The jewelry is all wrong. I actually like the hat on the runway model, though I probably would do it in a clever shade of gold or even olive green rather than black. And I don’t think the hat would work on the RC would it?

      I want to see some serious gold here with that dress. 

    • EEKstl

      I have to say J’Adore the earrings and they do work with this as much as anything could.  I actually like this dress in theory and the colors are nice and autumnal, but at the end of the day it’s just…a lizard dress.

    • kimmeister

      Nothing can save this dress.  I liked Kate Beckinsale’s reptilian dress (possibly from the same collection) that she wore a few months ago much better than this one.

      I love her earrings, but they do not go with the dress at all.

    • Scott Isaacs

      Oh, no, Milla!

      I never thought I’d be typing this, but this look is all wrong for her. She has such great success otherwise! And your assessment of “Queen of the Swamp Lizards” is so dead-on. Oh well…even the mighty have to fall sometime, right?

      It’s the styling that’s so horribly off. Her makeup is far too severe…that smoky eye is actually doing her no favors. Her hair makes her look like she stood up through the sunroof of her limo on the way to this appearance. Jewelry…well, it fits the dress somewhat, if we’re going with the swamp lizard queen theme. (And I actually don’t mean that in a bad way.) As for the dress…it’s downright amphibious. So thick and scaly, it looks like it could stand up on its own.

      Her expression in that last picture of her has me fearing for my life. Serving up velociraptor realness.

    • ojosazules

      Seeing Mila being encircled by an anaconda is disturbing. She seems to love it. Creeped out in.

    • aristida_girl

      I like it, I say embrace your inner swamp deamon Mila! (Actually, I just have a giant girl-crush, so am totally biased)… I think some pretty black and diamond sparklers would have been a better choice for the earrings, but otherwise, she gets an in from me…

    • MissKimP

      Something boldly geometrical in the earring department might help.   The drippy green blobs of the current earrings are what make me think “Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

    • Lisa Dugan

      I love her hair, makeup, earrings, and ring, but I want to put them all with a different dress.

    • Alaska Snob

      How about a belt? A shiny metallic one, kind of like the Christian Dior one that LeeLee was wearing, but maybe in silver? Then earrings to match.

    • Trisha26

      That fabric is just awful, more so than the color. The blue dress behind it on the runway looks the same. And the creases don’t help the drape. As matchy as it might be I think brushed gold accent pieces like earrings/bracelet might work, along with a loose updo.

    • Sara Munoz Munoz

      No, it’s an ugly dress.

    • PinkLemon

       This is Tilda’s dress.

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      The smile puts her in WERQ territory, but she may want to have a quiet word with her makeup artist.  The dress I could take or leave.

    • joything

      I consider this an opportunity to ignore the dress and love the woman.  rrrrrrRAWR!

    • theresa harnisch

      i like the dress and the fabric, but not combined, and the earring style seems off — too casual. on the other hand, the colors work for me – in fact, i love the colors.

    • lesmaha

      The earrings are so wrong, but I think maybe some other jewelry might make the dress work–nothing shiny, but maybe some non-shiny gold pieces?

    • snarkykitten

      bust up: fabulous. And that ring is awesome. But the bottom is horrible. Her fashion choices are kind of like her movies: very few hits among a lot of misses

    • margaret meyers

      I like the dress, but I hate the hair, makeup and earrings.  Aging. 
      And I hate to say that.

    • Phyllis Craine

      I like her matte finish nail polish though

    • marilyn

      I like everything about the dress on her.  She can wear that color (whatever it is).  Her hair, makeup and bag are fine.  She was smart enough to not wear showy jewelry that would fight the print in the dress.  The earrings are junk, but no one is perfect.  She should have gone for something close to her ear and shiny, like big diamond studs, or something like that.  I like it.  

    • sleah_in_norcal

      the color is just too drab with her coloring.  on a redhead with chunky green stone jewelry and a chartreuse clutch, the look might wake up.  maybe.  as is, she’s olive drab all over.

    • harleydear

      Keep the bodice, change the waist-down to a black leather pencil skirt. Gold sandals. Phillips House zebra earings or something with ruby or rubellite if she’s desperate for color.

    • Louise Bryan

      Bizarre dress, bizarre collection.  Maybe gold?  Like a belt, maybe a headpiece.  The earrings are too much and not enough.

    • guest2visits

      She looks gorgeous; even if the earrings weren’t the best choice.  Serious creasing distracts also.

    • emcat8

      Geez, I feel so weird lately…I keep posting “I love it” when everyone else is hating on something. But I do. I love it. The earrings are too much, but then, I don’t like huge chandeliers like that anyway. But I love the dress, have done since the runway, and I love her in it.

    • Pamela

      The dress itself isn’t the best but somehow she still looks gorgeous.

    • Puckndc

      looking a little drag-queenish

    • LeifBallard

      Yeah I love me some Milla….but I think the dress would totally work if she did her hair different and lost the earrings.  From the neck up she looks like she is serving 1920’s glam, just doesn’t work with the dress.  I think if she did more of a futuristic look with the hair that dress would pop!

    • Lisa

      You know, the dress isn’t terrible, but there’s just too much of that lizard print.  If that had been toned down, and if the dress was maybe in a lighter material, it wouldn’t be so bad.  But she looks gorgeous other than that!

    • MajorBedhead

      No. Nothing could help this. Her face and hair are glorious. The rest of the look should be burned. 

    • holdmewhileimnaked

      it looks better on the model cos of the difference in proportion. the way the skirt flares out on the runway, as opposed to bags down on the actress is, i think, what creates the difference between them. the flaring makes the whole thing look deliberate while the bagging makes it look kinda sorta hurried, of all things, cast on, if that makes sense, in the manner of cast off. the phosphorescent demi-sleeves on the model do not help the outfit. although their color may have inspired them, they work no better than the earrings. the earrings actually look better than the sleeves although, of course, not in congress w/ the dress.

      what can be done about it? re-proportion the skirt, maybe, maybe not even as a gown but as a knee length dress? thats iffy cos it takes away the drama–but the drama’s lost here anyway amid all the sludge. the only other thing i can think of would be to make the skirt from a lighter weight fabric to keep it from bagging. you wouldnt get the drama of the runway from that either; otoh, yr not getting it here anyway. IRL the dress cant support its structure. so it would probably be better off not having whatever’s left of that structure to bulk it up. or down. or whichever.

    • quiltrx

      I love her, love her hair, and that ring is boss.  Can’t decide about the gown, and the earrings definitely don’t go.

    • PeaceBang

      She looked right purdy in the neck-up shot. But then… scrolldown.

    • Sarah Rinehart

      it’s a greatdress. love the ring, and the clutch needed some heavy gold hardware. otherwise she looks great.

    • TieDye64

      Ooooooo that dress is, as you said, dreary.

    • Jeremiah Capacillo

      Her makeup scares me.

    • Allison Woods


    • Samantha Irene

      I feel like this could have really worked if the dress had a really fitted skirt with a slit in the back or side so she could walk, it would make it look less heavy and make her look more like sexy reptile. And those ears are a nightmare – with this dress – just no, the rings I like though

    • H3ff

      That dress needs sleek pulled-back hair, simple stud earrings and a silver bangle. Love the statement ring though.

    • Marianna

      The dress is really drab, but those earrings are absolutely gorgeous.

    • lrhoff

      Yes, but, she can handle this.  I think she gets a pass for it.

    • librarygrrl64

      Hiddy. And the clashing greens are making me twitch.