Girl, That’s Not Your Look: J Lo in DSquared2

Posted on October 18, 2012

We’re trying to keep the “On the Street” posts under the new “Celebrity” tag, but this one requires a full T Lo fashion assessment, and besides, this outfit was clearly chosen for maximum attention. At first glance, we thought, “Hey, it’s kind of refreshing to see Jenny from the Block actually looking like she might live down the block from us.”

 

Jennifer Lopez leaves her hotel in Paris in Dsquared2.

Dsquared2 jeans, hat, bag, and ankle boots

Then we realized that the sum total of this outfit is more than the average mortgage payment. Which is fine; we’d be hypocrites if we started bitching about celebrities wearing expensive clothing now. But if you’re gonna wear high end, at least pick stuff that looks good on you. Come on now, girl. Those are NOT your jeans. She’s in fantastic shape (and has worn many a skin-tight dress to prove it) so those jeans must be SUPER-tiny to make her look like she’s busting out of them. It takes some serious work and seriously bad choices to make J Lo look like she’s got a muffin top. Those shoes are kind of cool in a kickass way but they — oh, to hell with it. Let’s keep this simple.

Jenny, honey? Absolutely nothing here works for you. Take it all off and start over.

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, dsquared2.com]

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=713709401 Randy Noak

    That shirt makes her look like she’s wearing an adult diaper.

    • halleygee

      I thought the same thing, except I didn’t realize it was part of the shirt, I thought she had boxers on!

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      It’s lucky for me this post came in the afternoon, not the morning, because that comment would have made coffee come out of my nose.

    • http://www.wordydoodles.com WordyDoodles

      Did not see it initially. Now cannot unsee.
      This should be filed under “How not to wear it.” Or maybe “Proportion disasters.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

        Wish, wish, wish I could unsee. Perhaps she’ll knock Lisa Rinna out of her Depend spokeswoman spot?

    • charlotte

       That’s exactly what I thought.

  • http://albertdecastro.tumblr.com/ Albert De Castro

    Correction: She doesn’t have style, she wasn’t born with it.

  • Maria Rosenfire

    Looks like some bizarre fetishistic reimagining of a construction workers’ outfit.

    Nope, on second glance she just looks like a straight-up construction worker with a passion for high heels. And a lot of drug money.

  • Call me Bee

    It’s amazing how those jeans can, at once, look too baggy and too tight. 
    Also–I was always taught that it was rather gauche to wear the same designer from head-to-toe, including accessories.  Am I wrong? 
    Well–either way, JFTB does not look good.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kim-Elmore/1308422874 Kim Elmore

    She ALWAYS looks like she’s trying too hard IMO

  • everest19

    DSquared2 is the new Ed Hardy. Have y’all seen the Spring 2013 RTW collection? GAG.

    Why, Jenny, WHY?????

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

       Oh man, really? Ed Hardy is the douchey-est of clothing. Yuck.

  • Judy_J

    Those are some seriously ugly jeans….and that blouse is doing her no favors, either.  She should take this entire oufit out and burn it.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    And really, now, HOW much D Squared does she have on?  The hat really takes it into walking billboard territory. Nope, Jenny. No

    • Anathema_Device

       Yeah, it is like D Squared squared.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         So, thats D cubed, right?

        • Anathema_Device

           I’m not anything approaching a math person, but it might be D to the fourth? In any case, it is too much.

        • Kristin McNamara

          Nope… D to the fourth ;)
          -Your Friendly Resident Math Teacher Bitter Kitten

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Whew!  Thanks for coming to our rescue!

          • Kristin McNamara

            For the good (and edumacation) of my fellow BKs?! Always! :)

          • Anathema_Device

             Yay! I was right. My husband the actuarial guy will be so proud!

        • DCSheehan

          This outfit requires one to do math? That just makes it worse!

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

             Any way you add this outfit up, the result is too high a number.

        • DeborahJozayt

          Shit to the 5th either way :)

  • kimmeister

    What is that white thing on the side of the bag in the 2nd picture of her?  Is it the logo, or is it a random paint splotch?

  • Lilithcat

    I love the boots!

    The jeans, on the other hand, look like she she got them out of a dumpster.  I will never understand paying good money – much less several hundred dollars – for that sort of thing.  My mother would have said it’s like something that the cat dragged in, except that my cat has higher standards.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I love the boots too.

    • l_c_ann

      My cats sleep on jeans that look a lot like those, except my jeans earned their paint splotches etc. the old fashioned way, the hard way.

  • MilaXX

    This is such an obvious paid  pap walk. She looks a hot mess and a try hard to boot. Lose the hat, jeans and ugly boots and maybe we can talk.

    • surfergirl70

       There was a blind on CDAN that she totally staged this – she was getting ready to go downstairs and leave her hotel in Paris and was all worried about being able to handle the crowd of fans.  When she was informed there were no fans in the lobby, she pitched a fit and insisted on having her handlers create the impression of a crowd and hired paps to photograph it.

    • curiouserandcuriousest

      I’m generously trying to imagine a scenario in which all her other clothes have spontaneously combusted and all she has are these freebies from DSquared. And she’s bravely walking out here, hand in the air as if to say, ‘I’m ok friends, at least I didn’t perish with my entire wardrobe’ …

      But your scenario is far more likely.

      Still, I actually like the boots.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    Jenny from the truckstop…..

    • Annabelle Archer

      We have a winner!

  • jjfg

    Oh look!  Faux work clothes!

     Please.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=790818401 Laurie Landry

    Holy Trucker!
     

  • carolclark12

    I thought she was a hippier (meaning wider) Jessica Lange.

  • Rand Ortega

    This is Jennifer. She’s a Miami construction heiress but to make her domineering father angry, she drives an 18 wheeler w/ her 11 bodyguards in tow because, even though she’s rebellious, she’s terrified of being kidnapped by her father’s many enemies.

    Pretty soon she’s going give Chloe Sevigny competition in the alters category.

    Kim Elmore put it perfectly: She always looks like she’s trying too hard.
    Chill out, JLo. You’re still hot. We get it. Really.

  • joything

    I want the bag.  It’s butch.  And maybe one should add in the expense of the dressed-down security detail marching at her left, to the total cost of the outfit?

  • kittenwithaquip

    So Jenny paid an ass-load of money to look like an ass-load of hot mess? I’m curious as to how much money one must spend to look like one of us Poors– I will gladly sell her some of my husband’s old jeans and trucker hats for waaay less money.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OLSER5H3A6FPBAZOEIQIOBHAYM Elizabeth Rust

     So… you mean those *aren’t* a really old, outgrown pair of jeans that she only wears when painting the garage? [Or they're somebody else's old garage-painting jeans that are now, inexplicably, a fashion statement?] I’m so confused!

  • Janet B

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

    I think she’s gross.  In Balmain, Chanel, Versace or this construction worker meets secretary stuff, she’s just nasty to me.  Anyone with hundreds of millions of dollars who can’t tip a server is trash.  She’s always gonna be trash from the block, but with money.  Whoopty doo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    Can we file her under a new tab called “Girl, you are trying too hard”…?

  • minnye

    Is there such a thing as female douchebaggery? Because this should be the google image of the word.

  • raeb23

    umm…is her fly open? something looks off there

    • MoHub

       That’s what I thought. Looks as if the middle two buttons of the fly are undone. Either she was in a rush getting out of the ladies’ room, or she has some warped notion that it looks sexy (and welcoming?). To my eye, it looks more as if she got to puffy to keep those buttons fastened.

    • Darva Sutra

       Zooming in as close as I can, it appears that the fly is DESIGNED this way.  hahahahahaha! JLo has gone full Eddie Monsoon with these jeans.  I can’t imagine who this “look” would flatter. 

      • MoHub

         Edina might even look slimmer.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    I love those boots, but those jeans are ridiculous and she’s channeling the douche-boys with that stupid hat. 

  • MmmmmmmmK

    There’s too much crotch in those jeans. That’s how they look both too tight and too baggy.

  • quiltrx

    That’s a pretty shitty outfit for as much as it must cost.  I hope they bribed her heavily to wear all this together!

  • Jecca2244

    so I wonder if she was paid to wear this outfit…? all same designer.

  • phylora

    I would never have recognized her!

  • enonymous

    Who is actually a JLo fan anymore?

  • TieDye64

    Trying waaaaaaay too hard. She looks silly. But, those are, as you noted, some kickass shoes.

  • http://onionjam.tumblr.com SkipperJane

    Those jeans are atrocious, and she borrowed that hat from Ashton Kutcher c. 2002.

    Just, no.  

  • Annabelle Archer

    It started with letting the man child walk in front of her, pulling her along by the hand. Now she’s letting him dress her. Marriage is imminent.

  • Contralto

    Awful.

  • Aurumgirl

    She was too old for this look 20 years ago.
    DSquared does design some great stuff, so this “East-Coaster-lookin’-to-get-right-loaded” (it’s a Canadianism) look isn’t their only design option.  Someone out there in Dean and Dan land is a great salesperson.

  • decormaven

    Didn’t Dsquared participate in an episode of America’s Next Top Model a few seasons ago? The look shown above is just product placement to the highest factor. Might as well wear a sandwich board that reads “Eat at Joe’s.” Bleah….

    • MoHub

      And they had the ill-fated Launch My Line disaster on Bravo, the only good thing about which was that it introduced me to Patrick McDonald.

  • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

    I kept trying to think of how this outfit might have been improved and I ended up with her not actually wearing any part of this outfit.

  • Judy_S

    Maybe the muffin top effect is her concession to looking like the girl down the street?

  • miagain

    I hate EVERYTHING!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

    Those jeans are wrong in every way imaginable.

  • Cathy S

    1. What’s with the fly on those jeans? Is it popping open or is it just me?
    2. Those boots? Hell no.

  • Jennifer Coleman

    2003 called and wants its crappy boyfriend jeans back. Also 2001 is on hold looking for its Timberlands-with-heels.

  • EditKitten

    She looks like an asshole.

  • GorgeousThings

    All I can figure is that DSquared2 is paying her a bajillion bucks to wear those things. It’s a horrible look from top to bottom.

  • SignLadyB

    You have got to be kidding me! First, J Lo, why? Halloween? Are two of the buttons on the fly undone? You are not my favorite fashionista by any means–most of what you wear is ridiculously attention whoring and tasteless, but this???? Even if you were still the poor kid on the block, would you really be seen in the K Mart version? Would you wear paint stained jeans (forget the brand) out for anything except to buy more paint?
    And DSquared–You have rarely wowed me (and I admit I’m not really very interested in fashion) but you really put your name on this foolish mess? You really think people would be willing to pay for one piece of this? (Well, maybe the boots and bag, maybe) Is it Halloween? Was it designed to be “Bob the Builder” goes to New York Fashion Week. Really??????????

  • B_C_J

    The jeans together with the boots have shortened her and made her look stubby and as a result it creates the illusion that she is overweight.  This is not the look one aspires to achieve.  Moreover the boots look massive on her feet – not attractive at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

    This is the worst I’ve ever seen her look.  She must be wearing this as a favor to someone.  There is no other explanation.

  • lucasuk82

    Pencil skirt that goes up under the sweater, lose the hat, change nothing else.  Yes, it would be more Salma H. Billionaire than Jenny C. Still-Street, but it wouldn’t give me eye twitches.