Christa B. Allen in Dress The Population

Posted on October 10, 2012

We took one look at these pictures, smiled at each other, and started sharpening our claws.



Christa B. Allen attends the 4th Annual Los Angeles Haunted Hayride VIP Premiere Night in a Dress The Population bodysuit.

Dress The Population ‘Beatrice’ Bodysuit

Honey, don’t blow kisses at the camera. Just don’t.

Anyway, we stopped sharpening our claws when we saw this was a “Haunted Hayride” event. It’s possible this isn’t some sort of costume and the poor dear actually thinks it looks stylish, but we’ll go with the Halloween explanation, because it’s kinder – and you all know how much our hearts are filled with love and kindness.

Now, let’s all guess what the hell she’s supposed to be. It’s like she started off with a Stevie Nicks costume and then halfway through getting dressed, said “Fuck it” and went for her skinny jeans. We are puzzled, to say the least. We’re going with, “Rhiannon, Private Detective,” but you are encouraged to come up with your own.


[Photo Credit: WENN,]

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  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Wine and cheese party outside the Chico’s dressing rooms?

  • gabbilevy

    Vampire gymnast grandma gangster.

  • I like her makeup but that is it. 2 types of sheer-&-velour, 2 types of animal print, plus a stupid Annie Hall hat is just all too much.

  • She desperately needs heels to go with those jeans.

    • Yeah.  THAT’S what’s wrong with it.

      •  There is no help for all the other things that are wrong with it.

    • formerlyAnon

       She may need heels for photos, but not for a haunted hayride.

  • Jill_3

    What the flying fuck is this. She looks like her stomach is eating her shirt.

    • EveEve

      I gave up and went with “Hot Mess”

  • dress_up_doll

    Jeepers Creepers’ hot, teenage niece.

  • holzfaellen

    I think she started out with going as Abstract Bat Signal. Nothing else could explain that top.

  • janierainie

    I’d say the old standby Gypsy costume, except she forgot all her mama’s costume jewelry.

  • Deac82

    A time-traveling hippie call-girl

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    “Carly Simon – The Slutty Early Years”.

  • jmorino08

    Slutty Stevie Nicks! Why have I never thought of that?!

  • EditKitten

    This outfit makes her look three feet tall.

  • StellaZafella

    Susan Day George in drag as “Darla, mistress of a Hippey Witch Coven”.

  • formerlyAnon

    I’d say it’s clear she’s doing this herself.

    Entire thought process: Halloween: black! Halloween: sexy?, well show a little skin, anyway. Haunted Hayride: jeans & flats.

    Honestly, I give her props for not showing up to a hayride in platform stilettos.

    • Qitkat

      There are worse things to wear on a hayride. I once wore a very pale pink angora sweater to one, proudly knitted by myself. I picked out hay from it for the next year. Silly college girls with a crush on a boy will do anything to look cuddly.

  • Bed Bath & Beyond Lace Curtains Blowout Sale Event?

  • It’s horrible and yet ….. she looks happy and like she’s having a good time. So why the hell not.

  • Allison Woods

    What a fuggin’ mess!

  • oohsparkley!

    Golden Girl’s Sexy, Funeral, Lounge wear.

  • In_Stitches

    She looks like the lovechild of Clare Danes and Sofia Vergarra.  It’s quite eerie.  

  • Josefina Madariaga

    Carmen Sandiego goes stripper

  • l_c_ann

    Farm Sanctuary……there’s your explanation.

    Any animals bent on escaping the farm will be scared back onto the farm by one glance at her version of overalls.  (Well it explains the minimalist cat suit as well as anyother half brained idea.)

  • MilaXX

    This just screams “Trying too hard”. Shame really, cause she’s a cute gal and the jeans fit her great. It’s just that everything above the waist is horribly wrong.

    • minnye

      They do fit great. If it’s just an informal party kinda thing, keep the jeans and ditch everything above the waist. If it’s supposed to be a fantasy dress up/costume kind of thing, ditch the jeans. She didn’t commit one way or the other…

  • kimmeister

    Uh, I like the hat and the belt.  Basically it looks like the costume store had a rummage sale and she combined all her purchases into one random ensemble.

  • Imasewsure

    I don’t know who she is and I’m guessing she doesn’t know either… she kind of looks like Stevie Nicks trying to go Sex-in-the-City for a Girls Night Out… thank you girl for the funny!! 

  • Anathema_Device

    Is she going as Bat (shit crazy) Girl?

  • Trisha26

    Amish Playboy Bunny.

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    Steven Tyler’s ballet recital?

  • Quaker Oats Guy World Tour 2012?

  • poggi

    She is a slutty caterpillar emerging from her tacky cocoon, with a hat. 

  • Why oh WHY does a Haunted Hayride have a red carpet step-and-repeat?

    • formerlyAnon

      Mostly because it’s L.A., probably. No doubt it’s a fundraiser for Farm Sanctuary, which if Google can be believed is a rescue group for farm animals.

  • joything

    Me, high.

  • quiltrx

    Just keep the burnout giant shrug, which is kind of cool, and go full-on Stevie for the rest of the outfit.  And burn the rest of that garbage.

  • Le_Sigh

    Someone has been taking lessons from Posing on the Red Carpet from Lea Michele

  • thecitysleeps

    Maybe it’s the questionable outfit that is accentuating it, but I love watching a young girl on the red carpet with actual hips.  Mind you,  she’s still super tiny for the real world, but for Hollywood?  Kudos girl.  Work your body and those flats.  Without the hideous bodysuit and homeless person cardi next time.  

  • It’s an outfit where absolutely nothing happens.

  • RzYoung

    Oh my giddy aunt

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      I have to work that phrase into a conversation.  “Oh, my giddy aunt!!!  What is going on here?!!!”

      • RzYoung

        Yes that’s the perfect context 🙂

  • i dont even know how u come up with these gaaaalls???? maaaaaan you guys are good!

  • Why is she wearing grandma’s lace shawl?

  • PeggyOC

    I don’t think this is a Halloween costume.  This is an early Christmas present for you guys and the Fug Girls.

  • neofashionista

    looks like she could be debra messings from that singing show’s (forget the name) illegitamate teenage love child totally nutzo!!!!

  • Srw27

    Batshit crazy??

  • The whole outfit is disastrous, but what adds insult to injury is the fact that her jeans seem to make her look stumpy. 

  • kikisayshi

    Yikes. That bodysuit should not be worn by anyone UNLESS it’s for a costume.

  • j_anson

    Cowboy witch!

  • iheartbuffy

    John Lennon in one of the weird music videos he made with Yoko in the 70s. She just needs a fake beard.

  • EEKstl

    “Rhiannon, Private Detective” – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  The hat is cute, tho.

  • It’s like the 90s threw up all over her. Yeesh.

  • Lisa Kramp

    Any other top, even a plain white tee, would have made that look work for a hayride. She looks like a lazy hooker on Halloween.

  • understateddiva

    I’m gonna go with young Brooke Shields raiding her mom’s studio 54-going closet.