Chanel’s ‘Bijoux De Diamants’ Red Carpet

Posted on October 10, 2012

Darlings, because the fashion and entertainment industries will throw a party for any old reason at all, there was a celebration of Chanel fine jewelry’s 80th anniversary of the “Bijoux De Diamants” collection. Yes. An anniversary party for jewelry.  But hey, at least we get to look at celebuladies wearing Chanel against the absolute worst backdrop in the history of step-and-repeats.

Let’s judge them.

 

Blake Lively in Chanel Fall 2012 Couture

Honey, unless you have a steamer that hooks into your limo’s cigarette lighter, don’t wear dresses like this to events where you’ll be photographed. A shame, because it’s a great dress.

 

Diane Kruger in Chanel Spring 2013

Hmmm. Seems kind of half-assed to us. And we can hear her boobs crying in pain from here. This definitely needed more jewelry and a less-serious pair of shoes.

 

Elle Fanning in Chanel Fall 2012 Couture

Okay, this is freaking adorable. So much better than that other schmatta. If anyone can work a “Wednesday Addams in couture” look, it’s her.

 

January Jones in Chanel

January wins the Bitchface Award. Again.

That dress is a big ol’ nothing, though.

 

Jessica Paré in Chanel

That’s a pretty great dress, but it’s definitely not the kind where you wear your hair down. And besides, her hair looks terrible like that.

What’s with all the serious black shoes?

 

Rose Byrne in Chanel Spring 2011 Couture

It’s okay, we guess. At least she looks like she tried. It’s kind of hard to see the details against that backdrop, but it sure looks like she’s got some sort of bow in her hair and that’s a little hard to take. But we like the dress, for the most part, and we like the purse. We probably would have gone with something silver in the shoe just to bring it up a bit.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • kschwarting

      Blake Lively is a pretty enough girl, but how is she making an expensive Chanel couture dress look like a bad prom gown?

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         I don’t know what it is about her, but she always makes her clothes look tacky.

        • Sobaika

          They way she poses.

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/AHFSPHBCDZPDUMNDX5C7GK3N3M Molly

            Yup.  Shoulders back, boobs out.  The ‘look at my ladies’ pose.

            • Le_Sigh

              Didn’t she pose holding the front slit of a Lanvin dress open on the red carpet last year?

            • Sobaika

              YES. All down the red carpet AND onstage, it was at some award show I think. Terrible.

          • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

             Yep, that’s it.

      • 3boysful

         Plus the red of her Louboutins is making my eyes hurt against the silver and pinky-cream colors.

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_BMEASIKJSVE6YP3DE2VLJA5CUU JulieJ

        I kind of think that the Chanel couture dress is making itself look like a bad prom gown…the material screams “Carrie” to me.

    • http://twitter.com/lenabena_ Elena

      The backdrop and the dresses just make this event look so depressing.

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

         Seriously, who thought that backdrop was a bad idea, when they KNEW that photos would be taken?

      • Kayceed

        Yes, everything looks rumpled and droopy and glum. Elle’s collar and January’s skirt look grayish – not sure that is intentional. Blech.

    • http://profiles.google.com/rociosaurio Rocío Vázquez

      Omg in that second pic of Jessica Paré looks like her head is floating in a really creepy way.

      • Lori

        I saw that too. The top of that dress either doesn’t fit her correctly or is just Not Her Neckline.

        • DaringMiss

          Definitely not her neckline. And the sleeves hit at an unflattering part of her arm.  

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

      Jones’ dress would look sensational on Betty Draper (with the right styling and accessories) but here it’s just Meh.

      • lovelyivy

         Agreed. Her makeup is really bad here- far too severe- and her hair does not help at all. On someone else this could be a strong look, but for her it’s just meh.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1344922354 Eric Scheirer Stott

          It’s a dress that needs Audrey Hepburn

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Wow, I can see why you call this the worse step and repeat backdrop EVAH.  Most of these ladies just disappeared into it. That said, I’m going with Elle Fanning for the win, here.
      Oh, and is that a sample of bathroom tile Diane Kruger is wearing? Otherwise there is simply no explaining it.

      • Cathy S

         I was thinking beaded bath towel, but your description is right on the money.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          It looks like that stuff you get at Home Depot, that comes already mounted on a net backing, so you can lay down swathes of it at a time, easily.

          • kimmeister

            It would make gorgeous bath tile, come to think of it.

          • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_L6FKGKUXWF6QSWWYAHJZYKKI3E Adrian

            I was thinking “brick in the Ishtar Gate,” but that’s probably a pretentious reference. If only she had a terra cotta antelope blazoned across her lady parts.

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              If its a pretentious reference, it’s still a wonderful one. And I appreciate it muchly.

        • Jacqueline Wessel

          I thought it looked like one of those towel wraps that you put on after a shower.

      • Janet B

        No wonder her boobs look tortured, they’re holding up 15lbs of tile.

      • EveEve

        Diane Kruger – is that a baby bump underneath the backsplash in the second photo?  If so, that might also explain why her bust is getting crushed. (Sorry,  I don’t keep up with all these celebuladies’).

        • Kristin McNamara

          I thought that too.

      • lovelyivy

        It reminded me of a gold American Express card dress from the Oscars that someone (who I no longer remember) wore more than a decade ago. But this doesn’t fit as well, and is far less fun/whimsical.

        ETA: it was Lizzy Gardiner in ’95. The dress has its own wikipedia page! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Express_Gold_card_dress_of_Lizzy_Gardiner

      • BazoDee

        I’m thinking baby bump -because that dress is such a HUGE misstep for her -there has to be a reason! 

        • formerlyAnon

           That was my theory in my comment – but really, if she had that much of a baby bump, wouldn’t there be rumors? I think somebody was just so taken with the color and texture of that fabric(?) they failed to notice that it’s been made into a hugely unflattering dress.

          • BazoDee

            Well I have no basis for saying that, and she doesn’t look pregnant, but I NEED there to be a reason for this disaster!! Diane cannot fall this badly!!

      • formerlyAnon

         I think it’s a potentially gorgeous piece of fabric(?) but not as deployed here.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          They way it looks, I rather think its a completely bead/pailette embellished textile. It just looks ridiculously bulky on her, and also totally conceals her svelte shape. It looks like it has no movement to it, either.

          • formerlyAnon

             All so sadly true.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_2CNDPMVO4W23R5TVC2QMTJ5BZE Heather

      These are mostly awful, except for the Wednesday Addams look, which I adore.

      Diane Kruger’s dress looks like bathroom tile. That it’s wrapped around her like a towel and her hair looks like she just got out of the shower, only completes the look.

      • out for a walk

        I’d like to think that Diane Kruger materialized naked in an alley, Terminator-style, naturally had to mug SOMEBODY for their clothes, and who should wander by but Jennifer Aniston in one of her sparkly bathmats.

        • bittykitty

           that’s exactly who i would picture wearing this dress…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Stone/100001328135240 Mary Stone

      Diane Kruger’s in a wampum dress, and I dislike the neckline on Jessica Pare’s dress intensely, it looks like it’s ready to eat her head, it looks heavy, honestly.

      • formerlyAnon

         I like that neckline, but I don’t think it works with that hair style. Of course, my opinion might change if I could see it all properly.

    • everest19

      Obsessed with Elle’s look. Jessica’s is disappointing… feel like if she found the right pieces she could WERQ the shit out of Chanel.

    • ojosazules

      Elle is a Werq. I am impressed. 

      • PinkLemon

         YES. personal best maybe?

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      No one hit it out of the park, but no one struck out, either. I love Diane Kruger’s and Jessica Pare’s dresses, but the styling isn’t quite right. 

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

       I am struck, too, by the profound absurdity of this event coming from Chanel. Mme Coco was all about the faux jewels.

      • StellaZafella

         Yeah, I know, but “Bijou De Cubic Zirconium” just doesn’t scan right…

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

           Hah hah hah!
          How about Anniversaire’ de Bijou, instead? 

    • StellaZafella

      Elle Fanning for the win!  It makes me giggle a bit with delight. I just wish, after all my years, I could appear to have as much fun dressing up.

      • Karen Maslowski

         Aren’t those the cutest shoes, too? They almost even look comfortable to wear.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_VZLU6YVO4BRTELTTH3GRAAMWZQ Dot

      JJ’s dress looks like an expensive pillowcase. It’s a shame to see someone so beautiful look so atrocious. Hate the hair and pasty makeup, too. Jessica Pare’s dress is so interesting; it’s a shame her hair is fighting with the neckline. Is it just me or does it look like several of these ladies are wearing hose?

      • 3boysful

        Based on the bitchface and the hair, I can only conclude that January is pissed because someone pulled her from her favorite hot yoga class, threw her in said pillowcase, slapped on some red lipstick, and made her stand in front of the bad step-and-repeat.

    • GorgeousThings

      Kaiser Karl sent out a decree that all celebuladies must wear black shoes, or no Chanel for them!

      • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_3JSTXMWWVZN2QNP2UEKJMTWD7U Isabel

        Karly is using too many fabrics that look cheap. Madame Coco must be mad!

    • bittykitty

      It looks like Diane Kruger took this dress from Jennifer Aniston’s closet.

      • bionicgyal1

        You mean Jennifer Aniston’s kitchen because it looks like backsplash.

    • Lizzyisi

      Never would have thought a set of photos of professionally pretty women in Chanel would be so . . . unappealing.

    • homofascist

      How to you celebrate jewelry but NOT WEAR JEWELRY?!?!?!?!?

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         thank YOU!  Very little jewelry to be seen, from a house known for pouring on pounds of faux.

        • homofascist

          Some of those looks are crying out for a necklace.  If I am a lady celebrity I want a free loaner bauble to put around my neck.  The blingier the better!

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            We’re all looking at YOU January Jones!  If ever a dress screamed for a statement necklace its that, otherwise drab, bland gown.

          • 3boysful

             I’m NOT a lady celebrity and I WANT a free loaner bauble.

      • StellaZafella

         Coco said something to the effect of: “When you leave the house, remove one accessory so as not to overdo your look.”

        But when you were only wearing one accessory…ah well, you get the idea.

    • http://twitter.com/sebwfu Shannon Beamer

      God, that gown on Blake Lively is atrocious.  Wrinkle issues aside, it’s making her ass look wide as hell — and that is just NOT real life.  Besides, as one of the other BK said, it looks like a bad prom gown in its own right.  I don’t care if it’s expensive Chanel, it looks like I could purchase it for $40 at Macy’s.  NO.

    • http://profiles.google.com/denise.alden Denise Alden

      Rose Byrne look so beautiful without those awful bangs!  Just lovely.

    • charlotte

      Rose Byrne looks like Helena Bonham Carter’s little sister.

    • Trisha26

      Diane Kruger is wearing a bejeweled bath wrap. Blake’s dress is gorgeous (and wrinkled) & I love a dress with pockets – but in this fabric you can see the impression of her hands in the pockets. Elle is adorable as Wednesday! January’s look is just sad.

    • kolokOlchik

      Is Diane Kruger pregnant?  And why is she wearing one of Jennifer Aniston’s beaded bathtowels?

    • alyce1213

      I like the dress Blake Lively is wearing, except for the bejeweled crack indicator.  I wonder if it hurt to sit?  Maybe it’s there to discourage sitting, so as not to wrinkle the dress.

      January Jones?  Jeez, less than nothing. It looks like a saggy old tube top with a sateen sheeting, two sizes too big. This dress belongs to a larger, taller woman.  And what’s with her hair?  Nice bracelets, though.
      Diane Kruger’s choice is strictly euroclub, I hate it.

      The dress Rose Byrne is wearing is really beautiful, what a great shape, but I wish it were lined uniformly — looks like her 1960s panty girdle is showing through.

    • DaringMiss

      Rose Byrne’s purse is so beautiful.  I am beginning to feel like the accessories are better than the clothing these days!

      • kimmeister

        I love it!  A chic little pyramid.

    • ecallaw1977

      Elle Fanning’s dress is tragic.  Wednesday Addams is dead-on.  

    • bionicgyal1

      Unfortunately, Diane Kruger looks like she took the tiles from her bathroom and wrapped it around her when she couldn’t find her towel.

    • MilaXX

      What a whole lot of blah against a black backdrop. The only look I like is Elle’s and that’s because it looks like she’s having fun with it. Diane Kruger looks AWFUL The dress looks like it’s ready to fall off and is only being held on by double sided tape on her nipples. Satin rarely works on the RC so Blake and January both look like they are wearing sacks. I’m over January and the bitch face. Jessica’s dress look matronly. In short this is just a whole lotta fug.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Elle is wearing Pilgrim Couture here, all the rage for Thanksgiving on the Upper East Side.  

    • imspinningaround

      I’m scratching my head over your assertion that Blake Lively’s dress is “great.”  It makes her look like she has huge hips and a big ass.  

      • kimmeister

        The white parts of the dress made me go back several times to try to figure out if they were sheer-ish panels, or just white.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

          Funny, I thought they were pink. 

          • PinkLemon

             i saw pink, too. also, IT’S SO HIDDY. hate that dress.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_64HSRZWCSJ5RBFGCWDLFQOICYM G

      Boy, do the older-than-teenagers look dreadful.  And January Jones is morphing into Alexander Skarsgard!

    • schadenfreudelicious

      i am imagining “grey wrinkled butt” is not the look Blake was going for….

    • CheriCPat

      I love the way Jessica Pare is posing.  No “gotta pee” pose, but still very flattering.  I gotta remember that!

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      January, dresses don’t need elastic waistbands. Diane, love the hair and the bling, but not the shapeless towel dress.

    • Pants_are_a_must

      Chanel couture is really not what it used to be, is it. Look at all those clothes. Do they tell you: “this is a selection of a sassy-classy, well-fitted couture by a master”? Because none of those outfits has passed without Uncle Karl okaying them. I’m so tired of the pedestal people put Lagerfeld on.

    • mmc2315

      I’m hopeful the black serious shoes are a sign that the putty platform pumps have been burned in an October bon fire.  

    • Imasewsure

      J-Jones is a model for chrissakes… why does she always look so bad????? Love love little Ms. Fanning here and anywhere. Rose Byrne looks pretty too but Elle for the win since she’s so freaking adorable

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      I get this feeling that these dresses were dropped off at these girls houses 6 hours before the event. They didn’t have the proper shoes, nothing was fitted and none of them look terribly pleased with their ‘choice.’ It’s like they are modeling something that someone just handed them. 

    • formerlyAnon

      I’ve gotta give this one to Ms. Byrne. Ms. Fanning is adorable, but it’s cute rather than attractive, and Ms. Pare’s great collar is ruined by her hairstyle.

      Unless Diane Kruger is pregnant or has a medical condition causing her abdomen to protrude, that gorgeous & potentially stunning swathe of fabric was made into the least flattering garment I’ve seen in a while.

      I’m thinking that it’s not a step & repeat, it’s the the exit area at a Disney-style theme park attraction. Pirates of the Caribbean, maybe? And since those little trains/boats/conveyances aren’t equipped with steamers, that explains why Lively and Jones have wrinkles.

    • frannyprof

      Diana K’s dress is doing her figure (and boobs) NO favors. Did the ladystars attending this event not have access to mirrors? And this is a Chanel soiree, for cryin’ out loud. A lame Chanel soiree, but Chanel, nonetheless.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      This is blowing my mind.  They are all in Chanel, yet they all look HORRIBLE!!!

    • BeeBeauNYC

      Diane Kruger looks like she went to Home Depot and wrapped herself in blue mosaic kitchen backsplash tiles.

      • formerlyAnon

         Precisely.

        It’s a crying shame because the color and texture in that fabric(?) are gorgeous and deserve better than to be turned into an unflattering garment that looks like kitchen tile.

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

      Lively = Taxi creases
      Kruger = Aniston sparkly bath towel
      Jones = Sack race

    • megohd

      Blake Lively’s looks like an unsuccessful PR entry. 

    • A B

      January Jones looks like she got her hair done at SuperCuts–terrible!

    • Kristin McNamara

      Rose Byrne looks like she’s starring in a Tim Burton movie.

    • http://korilian.livejournal.com/ korilian

      Elle Fanning looks like she’s on her way to attend the first thanksgiving diner in Brownscombe bay.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Paige-Boerman/670140590 Paige Boerman

      They all look ashy pale. That step and repeat was a mistake.

    • kcarb1025

      January Jones looks like death warmed over as usual…..

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_L6FKGKUXWF6QSWWYAHJZYKKI3E Adrian

      I’m sorry, Elle Fanning looks like she’s wearing a sexy Pilgrim Halloween costume. It’s like…+2 for seasonally appropriate dressing, but -5 on the style scale. Like, the only thing that would elevate this is buckles instead of bows on her shoes, and her boyfriend dressed as a turkey standing next to her.

    • https://twitter.com/LisaF1163 Lisa

      Nope.  No one’s hittin’ it for me.

    • mayavaly

      I can’t help thinking how amazing J Jones would have looked if the waist had been hoiked up and inch of two (same skirt length though) and it had a tight little corstet top (minus the wrinkles and the blue eye shadow from the 70s, which goes without saying). Diane Kruger looks disastrous.

    • ccm800

      Diane Kruger is wearing a dress that looks simultaneously like bath tile and a bath towel –  now that’s a pretty good trick.  Ugly as shit –  but clever.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1129137319 Paula Pertile

      That second one looks like a big sheet of diy bathroom wall tile from Home Depot.
      Elle Fanning just totally made my day!

    • quiltrx

      Oh, uncles, I still think that green plastic backdrop is worse.  Or the Letterman dumpster.  Or that loud mess recently (was it HBO something?).

      Anyway, Diane Kruger appears to be wearing a bath TOWEL made of bath TILE.

    • librarygrrl64

      I hate it when ladystars wear their strapless numbers too low. Sad Boobs Syndrome.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

      I want a movie starring January Jones and Claire Danes as bitch sisters, and they compete against each other to win the title of “Fiercest Bitch Face, the Bitch Fest.”

    • RzYoung

      That background is criminal, I bet someone’s lost their job over that

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/QK3MTAHUVJCMI7DANY6WFCAIUM n a

      It’s funny to see January & Jessica on the carpet and then the post about Christina Hendricks…. I mean you have quite a spectrum here from pin-thin January to curvy Christina and none of them can really dress themselves.  Do you think there is a Mad Men tie here?   Like Madmen styles them so well (albeit in period clothes) so they feel they have to be more risky on the red carpet?  Both JJ & CH make frequent missteps. They are both gorgeous women- yet they make these weird choices for red carpet events. I feel like it’s almost deliberate. 

    • EEKstl

      LOVE Rose Byrne’s dress, at least what I can see of it.