Britney Spears in Hervé Léger on Jay Leno

Posted on October 31, 2012

Brit, we say this with love: you’ve got to get over your compulsion to break out the tits, the ass, and the skin-tight dresses all at once.


Britney Spears makes an appearance on ‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ in an Hervé Léger dress paired with Gucci shoes.

This isn’t a bad dress at all, but it makes an utterly terrible choice for a sit-down. She looks uncomfortable in public under the best circumstances, but you put her in a dress in which she clearly feels too exposed, and the poor girl looks like a tightly wound spring in a blonde wig. We have no doubt she left fingernail marks in the palms of her hands.

Brit sweetie, there are other ways to look fresh, young, and sexy. In fact, we’ll go so far as to say that THIS way is having the exact opposite effect on you, dear:  stale, old, and desperate. Not that you are any of those things; just that this style of dressing is giving the impression that you are.

Do you understand what we’re saying, honey? It’s all gotten way too honky-tonk now. Time for a rethink.


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[Photo Credit: NBC]

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  • MilaXX

    completely agree, Brit looks awful here.

    • I don’t know if I’d jump straight to AWFUL….but I can at least agree that this is not the dress for a sit down.

      • MilaXX

         Sorry I think it’s an awful dress. Hate the neckline and hate how short it is. It looks like a cheap go clubbing dress from DOTS, not something a celeb would wear on a major network talk show, and the hair looks too wiggy.
        If this is the best a stylist can do for her, she needs new ones stat.

        • 3boysful

           I’m gonna have to agree with awful.  Bit I bet Halle Berry could rock the dress. (Hard to tell with only the sitdown view.)

          This shade of blonde-not-found-in-nature is terribly unflattering on her.

    • She looks 45 – and that’s not a good thing if you’re actually like 25.

  • RzYoung

    I just want to give her a tracksuit and a hug!

  • PeaceBang

    She also looks monochromatic and dried out. Sort of reminds me of a Kathie Lee Gifford waiting to happen and that is so not good.

  • she loves those herve ledger dresses even though they do her no favors at all.  Although here she only looks slightly less vacant than usual…

    • She does need an intervention on that designer’s dresses.

  • mhleta

    Thank you! That needed saying. Now let’s hope she reads this and puts your numbers on speed dial. (Page is loading fine for me in Boston area.)

  • MissMariRose

    Poor thing. She always looks so tense.

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    She’s starting to look like Suzanne Somers, whose picture might very well be in the dictionary under “how to look stale, old, and desperate”…well maybe an etymological dictionary. 

    She got stuck at sixteen, in sex-kitten mode. She needs some legit, adult female (or gay) friends who can help her form a concept of herself as an adult (almost said adult entertainer, ha!) and dress accordingly. 

    It’s a shame, because I actually think the dress is pretty cute. Just not on Brit and not in this situation. 

    • EveEve

      I was about to post that she could be Suzanne Somer’s daughter!  Brit is now the same age Suzanne was when she started playing Crissy on Three’s Compnay in 1977. 

  • Maybe I’m crazy, but for anyone who’s seen “My Week with Marilyn,” she reminds me of Marilyn. Very insecure and constantly needs to be reassured. And the more insecure she looks, the skimpier she dresses. Marilyn just made it look good. Britney needs to start dressing for what she is, a 30-year old mother of two. For some reason she thinks there’s something wrong with that.

    • NC_Meg

      I haven’t seen that movie but just knowing about Marilyn, I can see that. I was going to say dressing like a 30-year old mother of two isn’t easy in Hollywood but plenty of moms (over 30 and with more kids, even) do it all the time. Reese Witherspoon comes to mind. I’m not a huge fan but she usually looks age-appropriate and good on and off the RC.

      • Yes, Reese and Jessica Alba could be good style guides. Not a big fan of either but they generally make good fashion choices.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    She can’t wake up from that dream where everywhere you go, your surrounded by fully dressed people, but you are in your underwear….

  • Janet B

    And she must sit next to Simon who is looking as if he’s going out for his morning coffee.

  • That is a standing-up dress.

  • Introspective

    Brit smells of middle aged desperation here. Which is tragic given how young she actually is.

  • In_Stitches

    It looks like a dress Christina would wear.  It’s a race to see who can figure out tasteful first.  Maybe K$sha’ll come in as a dark horse and sweep the competition.  

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      God, I hope so. My niece dresses exactly like Ke$ha and it makes me want to cry (down to clip-in extensions and nail salon talons). I gave her a copy of Janie Bryant’s The Fashion File, and she ate it up. I can only hope it will take. 

      • random_poster

        Intervention at its finest.  My hats off to you, auntie!

      • baxterbaby

        If your niece loved that book, you know she’s interested.  Send a few more books on personal style her way; maybe she’ll expand her options.  Sometimes it’s a question of exposure and education.  (I only only give this advice because I have an almost 15 year old niece who is finding her way, with many horrors along the path, but she absorbs style info like a sponge, and every change is a step up. :)).

        • LesYeuxHiboux

          I always apply books to my niece’s ailments! She has an interest in fashion design so we watch All on the Line and Project Runway when she visits, and I was thinking of getting her Tim Gunn’s new book on the history of fashion. She’s a big reader. I haven’t found any good style guides specifically for teens, though (for that time when they have to navigate trend-and-label mania and Seventeen pushing three hundred dollar sweaters). Any recommendations?

          • Pinup Ghoul

            I wish YM was still published. I liked them as a young lady because they always showed how to put together very on-trend looks for a really reasonable budget. There need to be more magazines for young people which actually focus on realistic goals and advice for their target audiences.

  • She looks for all the world as if she’s trying desperately not to pee.

    This dress shows a decided lack of imagination, either on her part, or on the part of a stylist. 

  • Dot

    She always looks tremendously uncomfortable and awkward. I have to wonder what’s going on behind the scenes to make her so tense in public appearances. Skimpy dress aside, I think her hair stylist went a little overboard with the straightening iron on her fringe.

    • kimmeister

      True about too much straightening, but she does look good with bangs!

  • MoHub

    The length is the least of my issues. I hate a neckline where I can see around to the underside of the boobs—especially unsupported ones. Brit needs a good bra among other things.

  • Jessica Goldstein

    The sad thing here is that she’s young (only 30), has a great figure, is quite pretty, and has a mega-watt smile. If she’d just dial down the clothes a little (T or A, but not both, and a little more sophisticated while she’s at it) and modernize the hair, she’d look amazing. Instead, she’s giving off the vibe of a desperate middle aged woman clinging in vain to her lost youth, a bad look at any age. 

    • cooperalden

      i agree.  She dresses like a Real Housewife Of Orange County (Bad blow out, too tight, too short, to desperate).  She would look better in pants and would defin seem more comfortable.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      I think another poster hit the nail on the head about this young woman-she got stuck in that sex kitten mode and she really would do so much better if she let go of that look.  She’s a lovely young woman who needs to learn how to dress her body now that she’s moved into her 30’s-plus, as others have noted, she’s a mom, too.  There are other celebs out there in her age group with kids who look attractive and sexy, but in a more adult way.

    • Pinup Ghoul

      Wouldn’t she look just adorable in a cobalt blue pencil dress with a boat neck and a fun little belt at the waist? It would be so darling and age-appropriate, while still bringing out her great figure and lovely features and coloring.

  • AtticWife

    You know how people hate-read sites they disagree with politically? I think her stylist is hate-dressing her.

  • Please, Britney, listen to TLO….

  • Worse problems – right on that.

    Like no flushing toilets and no where to dig a latrine. At least down in the South, almost everyone has a backyard.

  • Trisha26

    The dress is a trainwreck. But I have to say she looks better here, with the newly cut bangs, than she has so far on X-Factor (taped weeks ago). She looks youthful and actually happy – in the face.

    • RebeccaKW

       Yes, what has been the deal with her hair on the show?  Oh, that tragic blue/green ponytail?  Honey, no.

  • Scarlet39

    Sometimes pictures of her kind of look like a hostage situation.  I get the feeling she would rather be anywhere rather than in the spotlight. 

  • Nannette Gadomski

    I agree 100%! I’m uncomfortable just looking at the pics! She looks like she’s afraid to move. Not a good look for such a lovely girl who has clearly worked so hard to regain her reputation. I want better for her!

  • PrunellaV

    What — is Simon there as her handler? That poor girl. Her face looks good, but nothing else does.

    • OrigamiRose

      I wondered the same thing re: Simon.  Is she not trusted or allowed to go on a talk show without someone looking over her shoulder?  I really feel for her.

  • B_C_J

    Wow! Too much decolletage and too short of a skirt!! This young woman definitely needs to relearn how to dress.  She is  stuck in kitten-mode and all it is doing is aging her.  Not helping either are the noticeable hair extensions. 

    • MoHub

       “relearn”? I’m not sure she ever learned in the first place.

  • kimmeister

    At least her makeup looks good, much better than we’ve seen lately.

  • jw_ny

    She does look extremely uncomfortable…like she’s trying desperately to hold in a fart,  😉  that dress is way to short!  (it’s a cute dress tho) Speaking of being “exposed”, I sure hope she didn’t give the audience a free show, after all we know she has propensity for
    going without panties…seeing those repeated crotch shots of her getting out of

    But yeah, she does appear to be desperately trying to hold onto her sexy youthful image…which really never suited her at all imo.  Time for her to grow the F up. 

  • teensmom99

    Just way too young to look this old.  I kind of hear this dialogue in my head: “I feel like it’s too bare.” “No, sweetie, you look fantastic.  Like your 16 year old self.” “I don’t know.  Isn’t it kind of short?” “No.  You look just like your fans want you to.” “If you say so.” and so they shoved the poor dear out to the couch, as they laughed (at her expense) all the way to the bank.  Tragic.

  • Tracy_Flick

    I must have those shoes. 

  • decormaven

    I give her points for not showing up in short shorts and a trucker hat, and I do not mean that unkindly. She needs a better stylist, a softer shade of blonde, and less screen time. Her anxiety, as evidenced by the clenched hands, must be off the charts. 

  • kittenwithaquip

    I have actually begun to feel sorry for her. She’s smiling, but her eyes are dead. She has the rictus  of a mortician’s prized creation. Poor Brit-Brit. Every time I see her do the celebrity pole dance I feel a little sorrier for the child who traded her life for a dream, and ended up with a nightmare filled with Simon Cowell and bandage dresses.

    Fuck, I’m maudlin this morning. Fire your stylist, Britney, and drop out of public life until you can smile with your eyes again.

    • Ali

       If only she could. Too bad she doesn’t even have the authority/autonomy to do something as simple as that.

  • Julia McLean

    Blatantly obvious self tanner between the boobs…oy

  • Sara__B

    Britney in a bandage dress. Of course.

  • J. Preposterice

    I always feel like her smile never reaches her eyes.  It’s to the point where I don’t care what she is wearing; I’d feel so much better for her if her eyes matched her (stunning) smile.

    She strikes me as a deeply sad person and I hope I’m wrong about that, because I do not want my fellow humans to suffer. 🙁

  • Le_Sigh

    Oh girl – that smile just says “I’m doing good right?  you guys still love me right right?”  And stupid fakey Jay Leno grrr…

    Sorry sorry – the dress.  What an awful sit-down choice.  If it had been 3-4 inches longer she may not be holding onto her good china for dear life.  Poor thing.

  • Contralto

    Britney, my dear, 30 is not an age at which you should be dressing with ‘I still got it!’ in mind.  Of course you have!  You’re 30!  You’re adorable!  
    Honestly, I want to take her in for the winter and have some heart-to-hearts with her.  Poor thing.

  • And what’s with the traveling microphone? Did it make it’s way up or down that neckline?

  • Imasewsure

    I don’t hate the dress but I do hate that hair (and the douche sitting next to her in a jeans and t-shirt… and the douche on the other side too for that matter). She’s looked worse

  • thecitysleeps

    There’s nothing worse going on than that fringe on her head.  WHY?

  • Britney Spears dresses as Samantha Jones for Halloween and wins first prize!

  • oohsparkley!

    It could have been a cute dress with a 2 inches higher v-neckline and 2-4 inches longer.

  • Ali

    I always feels so sad for her when I see her in photos. I wish her family would just let her stop with all of this and relax. She doesn’t look happy and she hasn’t for a long, long time. But they keep pushing because she’s a cash cow.

    And frankly, there’s something hinky about a woman who’s allegedly not well enough to take care of herself, but is well enough to be on X Factor and able to consent to get married. Which is it? Because those things seem mutually exclusive to me.

    • The only pics I ever see of her looking relaxed is when she’s playing with her boys. The girl needs a break before she ends up having another breakdown!

  • Judy_J

    I’m just sitting here, shaking my head sadly, wishing someone would help this poor girl get it together. 

  • She reminds me of Suzanne Somers here. There is nothing wrong with Suzanne Somers, but she’s in her 60s. 

  • Goldie

    She was on Ellen a couple of months ago dressed more conservatively and she still looked uncomfortable.  Simon was with her then too.  Is she not allowed to do an interview on her own?

  • Cute shoes. 

  • librarygrrl64

    She looks like a 25-year-old cougar. 🙁

  • Ana_ragu

    I think it is hysterical that there are SHADOW FINGERS on her leg in the last photo! Perfectly creepy for Halloween…

  • DylanCurtis

    Her face is a different color from the rest of her body. Her face is way too yellow and making her look jaundiced, which really doesn’t help her to look young and pretty either. Some makeup artist needs to be fired.

  • MightyMarshal

    My thought process “Ehh, she’s looked better. Those bangs are a little sad. Who’s that fat guy next to her…OH MY GOD THAT’S SIMON”

  • guest2visits

    Too bad that dress was so ‘brief’ looking; because it was an interesting print /fabric-it was just too revealing.
    I also think her hair and make-up looked especially good; not aging or nutsy looking.

  • nannypoo

    It probably looks OK standing up. At least, unlike that turd Simon Cowell, she went to some effort here. I think she is very tightly wound and has struggled through some hard times. Even though much of her trouble was self-inflicted, I want to be supportive and I wish her the best. So even though you didn’t ask, I’m giving her an IN.

  • MinasAunt

    I have a soft spot when it comes to Britney–I never was a fan of her music but the South Park episode about her made me see her in whole new light.  I think that what I see of the dress is quite nice but it is too brief!  Does anyone else think she looks an awful lot like Suzanne Somers, especially in the last shot?

  • libraangel

    You can take the girl from the white trash town but you can’t take the white trash from the girl!

  • I think that this the the best Brit has looked in a while although I feel like she’s going to flash me with that dress. I do grade her on a curve. Hair looks like straw, though.

  • berkeleygirl

    I’d love to see what you’re talking about, but I’m blinded by her teeth.

  • quiltrx

    She does look like she’s about to flip out, doesn’t she?

    And this dress is what my hubby would (so tastefully) call “pussy and tits.”

  • ZnSD

    well…you can take the girl out of the trailer…

  • Rebecca Jay

    Seeing as how her fingernails are chewed down to the quick, I’d say it was more like fingerpad dents, and she does look completely and totally clenched here .. head to toe and everything in between.

    Love Britney.  Love Simon. Hate Leno.

  • Whore.

    • Ali

      That’s really uncalled for.

  • “tightly wound spring in a blonde wig” is what britney is these days. i dont think it has much to do with her getup.

  • frannyprof

    Everything about her in this pic screams that she is uncomfortable and feel exposed. I’m gritting my teeth in sympathy.

  • PantherontheRunway

    Okay, if not her T&A what does she have?
    She was always a plain faced girl, and now we’re all looking at her trying to pretend like she wasnt a nutso mess like 2 minutes ago.
    All she ever brought to the table was body, and admitadly once upon a time catchy songs.

  • gg80302

    I want to hug her, I don’t think her anxiety meds are working.

  • Candigirl1968

    Just like Aniston’s sweet spot is beige bath towels, Brit’s go to place is too tight and tacky.  Had that dress been longer, with a higher neckline, it would have been fine.