It pains us to have to revisit this shitty fashion while surrounded by decidedly less shitty fashion during
Non-Shitty Fashion Week. But we’ll do it for you, kittens. And for the sake of completion. As God is our witness, we’ll never let a dress go unremarked upon again!
Onward! For GLORY.
Alicia, Dmitry, Elena
What’s left to be said, darlings? Elena’s coat was like a sleeping bag with sleeves, Alicia’s contributions were minimal, and Dmitry made yet another fitted cocktail dress, this time with extra bonus tacky-ass fringe action. Considering how much bickering was going on, it’s amazing the pieces look as finished as they do, but not one of them is impressive from a design perspective.
Melissa, Fabio. Ven
Maybe this is weird, but we burst out laughing every time we look at this collection. It’s such a perfect storm of bad decisions all around that it’s almost impossible for us to figure out how three relatively talented designers got to this point. We think the Duchess nailed it with his acid “Aren’t we fabulous? We’re so fabulous!” teasing. The one bit of potential conflict came with Ven and his petal skirt, but that kind of fizzled out when he grumpily went off and made the ugliest skirt in the history of skirts. We kinda think that was a bit of passive-aggression on his part. He’s not so untalented that he can’t make a decent skirt. He just didn’t like the skirt they asked him to make.
Other hilariously bad decisions happened, like choosing these fabrics in these nausea-inducing colors. And also, completely disregarding any knowledge about proportions and how to dress a woman’s body. Basically, these models look like refugees from either a war-torn country or a disaster-ridden one. Little bit of both, to be honest.
[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for myLifetime.com]