Despite a really bad first half-hour, last night’s episode was one of the better ones this season. Which is funny, because that first half-hour was one of the worst things we’d ever seen on the show.
It’s hilarious how they try to come up with variations on team challenges and all they can think of is to switch up the numbers. TWO people on a team! No, FIVE! No, THREE, but you can only make TWO looks! Never before in the history of Project Runway…!!!!
But this was just … egregious. Look, Project Runway, you are hanging on to your reputation as one of the “better” reality competitions by a thread. Forcing your designers to go all “WILL DESIGN A DRESS FOR FOOD” on the streets of New York is way too “America’s Next Top Model” for us. Tone that shit down. We don’t watch this show to see designers publicly humiliated.
We watch it to see them privately humiliated.
Good lord, what a shitshow. Show of hands: Does anyone believe those numbers reported? $800? For spray-painted tank tops? Like hell. A producer must have gone up to each team and offered them 500 dollars for a shitty, shredded t-shirt.
Anyway, due to Fashion Week craziness, we don’t have the usual number of obsessively captured screen shots, so you’ll have to use your imagination when we say that Dmitry kinda went after Elena right from the beginning of the challenge. We don’t blame him for his frustration, and she is, by far, the worst personality on the show right now, but it became a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy on his part. “Elena’s a crazy bitch who ruins everything, so we might as well get things started now.” And there wasn’t a chance in hell either of them were going home. You just know the producers in the back are LOVING the whole Boris and Natasha routine they’ve got going on.
As for Christopher and Gunnar, clearly, Sonjia grabbed them both by their neckbeards and hissed “Go suck each other off in the men’s room if you have to, but I am NOT having you two bitchy white boys with crazy hair fuck up this challenge for me!” It’s the only explanation that made any sense.
So congratulations, Tootie! Another deserved win.
The judges gushed over that jacket, and deservedly so. It really is a fantastic, high-end-looking piece with some great details.
But can we talk about the rest of the pieces? We think all three designers were on their A game, and we think that each of them made worthy garments. We just don’t think any of the garments went together all that well.
In effect, everything looked slightly (to very) overdesigned when you put it all together. That first dress probably needed a simpler jacket and that jacket DEFINITELY needed a simpler dress.
Ditto with the second look. Gunnar’s dresses were both pretty great (although we’re not in love with the shape on the front of this one). But they’re dresses that don’t need coats and jackets covering them on the runway.
As for Christopher’s coat, it’s fine on its own but looks like way too much over that dress. We think it would have looked better with a symmetrical hem.
The win was definitely deserved, but we couldn’t help thinking how the dictates of the challenges actually forced the designers into less stylish looks than if they’d been able to design alone. Break down these pieces into three distinct looks instead of 2, and the whole thing would be just about perfect.
Still, props to them. We never would have predicted that they’d get along so well and produce such memorable looks together.
Now, we’re off to the tents of Lincoln Center to watch all these attention hos (sans Alicia) show their collections. Check our tweets, darlings! And come back here, because we’ll have all the collections posted by this afternoon. Be good while Daddy and Papa are gone!
[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for myLifetime.com - Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]