Pairs Division: Cooper and Saldana

Posted on September 05, 2012

Darlings, very good-looking people in very expensive clothes are waiting with bated breath to hear what you all have to say about them. Let’s not disappoint.


Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana attend the premiere of ‘The Words’ in Los Angeles.

Zoe Saldana in an Elie Saab Couture Dress  and Brian Atwood Pumps

Elie Saab Fall 2012 Couture Collection/Model: Zuzanna Bijoch (NEXT)


Bradley Cooper in head-to-toe Tom Ford

HE: Is serving up disco Herb Tarlek realness and we’ve got to say, it’s all working for us pretty well. There’s a way to do tieless and still look like you’re dressed up. Vests help tremendously, as do crisp white shirts and collars that stand up. Love the ’70s-style wide lapels paired with the ’60s-style cut of pant. And of course, we can’t help but love it when a man rocks a plaid. The vest looks like it’s pulling in some shots, but he’s moving around a lot, so we’re willing to give that a pass. He’s got really great hair, but we wish it had been styled just a little bit more than this. Still; good job all around. Can’t really go wrong with a Tom Ford suit. Score: 8.5/10

SHE: Is very excited to be here at the company holiday party and wore sparkliest, snowflakiest dress for the occasion. We realize we’re heading into fall now and our complaints about fall dresses in high summer are about to become pointless, but this still looks totally off to us from a “time of year” perspective. It does not, however, look off to us from a style perspective. In fact, we think it looks pretty spectacular on her. The makeup looks great, but the hair looks like she started the night with it styled all pretty, and this is what it looks like after 6 hours on the dance floor. Also, the shoes are a bit of a disappointment. Still, we can’t say she’s not looking pretty great. Score: 8.5/10. 

Combined Score: 8.5/10. Nice to see both sides of the equation doing equal work. Some minor quibbles, but we can’t deny they look great together.


[Photo Credit: Getty,]

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  • Elizabetta1022

    Beautiful, but the dress makes her look like she has a golden vagina beard.

    • Or her thong broke and a piece is hanging off.

    • pattyw

       “Golden vagina beard” — just the phrase I was fumbling for. Now that I’ve added it to my vocabulary, I can’t wait to use it again. 🙂

      • Judih1

        LOL I didn’t see that at first, I see it now

      • formerlyAnon

         You let us know where you manage to work that one in, in day-to-day conversation. I’m kind of stumped.

      •  A great band name – “Golden Vagina Beard”


    • schadenfreudelicious

      or a very sparkly merkin!

      • ballerinawithagun

        Yes, a merkin spun from a golden beard.

    • Rrroza

      Beautiful dress except for that…and An interesting resl-life design problem to try to solve, but this didnt succeed. The contrast lace -to-skin is more apparent on Zoe, but it’s there on the model too. The back though; that’s perfection!

    • LOL Perfect way to describe it! I would have liked it more if the dress was not creating that effect. : /

    • greyhoundgirl

      Yes!  I think I prefer the vaginal frame (which seems to have gone out of fashion, thank goodness) over the vaginal beard, if I had to choose.  But I guess I choose neither.  Thank you for coming up with that phrase!

    • Don’t do that.  It’s hard to unsee.  I think she’s a glorious column of goldness, like a spectacular living Oscar, only much prettier.

    • I feel that from the rear, I can see her foundation garments.  That is a pet peeve of mine, and always a no-no.  Dress is a little too sheer.

      • Nayasabrina

         not only that but she’s shitting gold sparkles from her undies….

  • Sobaika

    Oooooo that is her dress. I don’t see Office Christmas Party. Wish her hair was a little less unkempt, that’s about it.

    • CozyCat

      The unkempt hair would bother me more if he were wearing a tie.  But both of them are dressed up with one detail taking it down a notch–it’s like they were both on the same wavelenght regarding what was appropriate for this event.  Which was nice to see. 

    • Kristin McNamara

      See, and here I think that the color (and lack of contrast between her skin-tone and the dress) really falls flat on her. Weird, because it *should* have more contrast on her than on the model, but somehow, my eyes feel like it’s not doing either one of those ladies any favors.

      • raininmai

         I agree about the color of the dress and I don’t think it does her justice.

  • mjude

    Zoe just has a great swagger about her.  he is looking might fine. 

  • LuLusLemons

    This is totally off topic, but every time I see the trailer for the movie they’re in together, I get pissed off. Just once I’d like the Zoe character making weighty moral decisions as a Writer, and have the Bradley Cooper character being the one shaking his ass in her face, distracting her from her Work.

    • CozyCat

      She had a nice character arc in “Center Stage,” although that was an ensemble piece.  But you’re right:  she’s a great actress who’s getting stuck in “girlfriend” roles.  (Remember the three stages:  “Babe, district attorney, and driving miss daisy…”

  • everest19

    That must’ve been a little awkward seeing as they just broke up not too long ago. Although I don’t think anyone really believed the relationship in the first place. Bradley… call me!

    • Sobaika

      I believe it, just not that it was a ‘relationship’ – more like them getting it on. Because if I were that hot and that rich, and surrounded by equally hot and rich people, it’s what I’d be doing.

      • AthenaJ

        If I had Bradley Cooper on hand, that’s what I’d be doing.

      • RebeccaKW

         There’s no way I could have a steady bf, if I was famous, rich, looked like Zoe and was surrounded by Bradley Coopers and Chris Pines, etc.

        • lovelyivy

           Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d be at least slightly ho-ish if I was surrounded by dudes who looked like that. To quote Chris Rock, we are all only as faithful as our options.

          • Kristin McNamara

            I love the word “ho-ish.” I don’t use that word nearly as much as I should…

  • nancylee61

    Yes, a golden vagina, do not like at all. I picture, well, never mind, it’s gross and yeechy. 

  • TVKimmy

    The only time Cooper wouldn’t look hot is if he were beating a puppy. Yowza!

    Zoe looks as stunning as ever.

    • AthenaJ

      That’s pretty much the last thing he would do anyway – he recently rescued a homeless dog. One more reason why I love him!

  • Clueless_Jock

    Bradley is beginning to look like Ralph Fiennes.

    • He’s always reminded me of Jamie Kennedy with half the douchebag washed off of him. Like Jamie Kennedy’s hotter, younger, douchey brother.

  • snarkykitten

    forget them, is that Scar in red pants?!

    • DeborahJozayt

      Scar: Oh, Zazu, do lighten up. Sing something with a little *bounce* in it. 
      Zazu: [singing] It’s a small world after all… 
      Scar: NO! No. *Anything* but that! 

      • Hah! My 14 year old realized about a week ago that my 10 Y.O. had never seen The Lion King, and made him watch it.  Somehow I got roped into watching it with them.  “He’s so cute and all alonnne!  Can we keep ‘im?” was a go-to line in our family for years.

  • Trisha26

    He looks pretty sharp, agree about the hair. I don’t care for the front shear/V-panel effect on Zoe – and from the back – Granny Panty!

    •  I’m betting it is a pair of Spanx, not GPs.

      • I thought Spanx were Granny Panties?

        • kimmeister

          Spanx come in many sizes and shapes.

  • Love the Herb Tarlek reference. Though Venus Flytrap will always have a special place in my heart.

    Jeremy Irons needs some Man Moisturizer. My BF really likes the Cosmetic Lad from Lush; Jeremy, give it a go. There’s a Lush on every high street in Britain.

    •  As God is my witness, I thought Turkey’s could fly.

      • You got the knife, I got the gun, come on boy, we’re gonna have a little fun. I’m a jealous man; I’d die for love.

      • MilaXX

        I swear I was just getting ready to type the same thing! 

    • formerlyAnon

       PLEASE tell me somebody’s done an advertising spoof of them using “There’s a Lush on every high street!”

      Or does “lush” not have the same slang meaning (habitual drunk) in Brit english?

  • I think Zoe saw Kate Hudson showing off lack of panties in gold and said, “I’ll show off I’m not wearing thigh spanx in gold.” As for Bradley, I’m just glad I don’t confuse him with Gerard Butler any more.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    – Zoe has perfected the Over-The-Shoulder-Profile pose. Bitch looks good from every angle and she knows it. She’s all, check this ass bitches.
    – I would take Dennis Quaid over Bradley Cooper any day.

    • Remember when he was in Bonnie Raitt’s video “Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About”? Whoo wee Ms. Scarlett!! I’m fanning myself thinking about it!

  • I don’t like the dress at all. I’m done with these sheer, look-at-my-underwear dresses.

    But I will take one Bradley Cooper, please, to go, with extra whipped cream. Yummy. 

  • This is the first time I’ve thought of mister Cooper as attractive. I love all of this.

  • Dot

    Oh Bradley Cooper. *swoon*

  • My first thought on seeing that dress was of a baby with

  • MilaXX

    I like both looks. He looks great and her back is what sells that dress for me. 
    I have a question for my fellow BK’s. Years ago I saw a movie similar to the premise of this one. (Author steals another author’s work) It was subtitled and starred Gerald Depardeui (sp?) only in that movie you find out at the end he is in hell (I think). I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the movie and googling gives me bunches of french links. Sound familiar to anyone?

    • A Pure Formality, or Una pura formalità in French. Starred Gerard as a writer with murky past and Roman Polanski as the Detective who is trying to figure everything out. A great movie, though sadly out of print now.

      • MilaXX

         Marry me! I have been killing myself trying to remember the name of that movie. I saw it forever ago, not to mention how scarred I was from seeing a naked Gerald.

        • Welcome! I watched it first in a college course and it’s stuck with me all these years later. I forgot that it was in Italian, not French, oop at me!

      • alyce1213

        You got it! Except the title is Italian, not French.

  • alyce1213

    Beautiful dress except for the fact that you can see her panties through it, which I hate.
    I wish you’d featured Dennis Quaid and/or Jeremy Irons instead of Bradley Cooper.

  • janetjb

    I really wish her dress was fully lined.  Otherwise two beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes.

  • I love the back of the dress. Stunning!

  • piecesofconfetti

    I do believe *this* is how sheer and revealing looks sexy, not slutty (cough cough Kate Hudson). 

  • Dudes, you made my day with “disco Herb Tarlek realness”!

  • SewingSiren

    Beautiful dress, but I agree it’s a bit early in the season for it (unless you are attending your own 50th birthday party that is).

  • RebeccaKW

    I do love her dress and while the hair is sad, at least it’s not A. mermaid hair or B. cocker spaniel hair. 

    He looks pretty damn good.  Those eyes!  That smile!

    Pretty please give us some Jeremy Irons…

  • NCDFan

    enough with the see through dresses! A little transparency around the shoulders or back is okay, but I don’t want to see glimpses of someone’s kootch.

  • Lilithcat

    Sparkle crotch is never a good thing.

    • bitchybitchybitchy

      Sparkle crotch is now entered into my vocabulary bank!

  • “Disco Herb Tarlek” is probably one of the greatest things I’ve ever read on here!  Haaah!   

    I do think they both look gorgeous, though – perfect, head to toe!

  • mom2ab

    See that’s why you guys make the big bucks…I would have said she just looks all sweaty from dancing all night…

  • jilly_d

    He: looks pretty good, but will never not be at the top of my Most Irrationally Hated Male Celebrity list. She: another poster put it so eloquently: Golden Vagina Beard.

  • guest2visits

    He just looks amazing; and he owns one of those fantastic smiles.
    She would look amazing too; but scrolling down she’s got a gorgeous dress that sadly has one of those less than pretty
    things hanging down between her legs, like a girl-sporran. 
    See-through dresses usually have those weird ‘patch’ areas in the front or back to cover little bits and pieces.
    I think they look like hell.   Most especially the below-the waist sheer curtains.

  • His hair: just no. He gets a 7 and she gets a 9 from me.

  • MrsBug

    “Herb Tarlek” …man, I love you guys.

    • meowing

      If only Herb Tarlek EVER looked this good!  Still catch WKRP when I can, and oh my the humanity of the clothes.  Really funny.

  • I **LOVE** Zoe’s dress – she looks beautiful (pity about the shoes, though)! And Bradley looks dashing in this suit. LOVE the subtle plaid.

  • kat89

    I never got the whole Bradley Cooper attraction that people have. He strikes me as kind of douchey. Zoe Saldana is just plain gorgeous, no matter what she wears. I think it would be hard for her to look bad in anything.

  • He needs to get rid of that Tom Cruise haircut. Otherwise: whoof.

    • kimmeister

      Exactly.  He looks fantastic with closely cropped hair (see season 3 of Alias).  I heart Will Tippen.

  • GorgeousThings

    I’m sorry, but all I can see, both on Zoe and on the model, is that with the way the embellishments are applied on the skirt, they seem to be dripping pixie dust from their lady parts.

  • Judy_J

    Sorry…all I could think of when I saw that first photo was, gosh…Jeremy Irons sure has gotten old!

  • LesYeuxHiboux

    Great dress, not even remotely her color. If it were more of an orange, or a more firmly committed gold…even a warm pink. She would be perfection. Her shoes puzzle me. What is going on with them?

    I hate Bradley Cooper, no matter what he wears.

  • mbelchic

    It screams “holiday” to me-

  • bitterk

    Love that dress. He’s a bit too wrinkled. And I don’t love the hair on him. Reminds me of Tom Cruise circa 1982.

  • TheLaurenJean

    Is it just me, or does she totally look like she’s tinkling on the red carpet? I mean, thank God she wasn’t going the standard Gotta Pee pose with this, or I would think she actually was!

  • MissMapp

    HERB TARLEK?!!! The best description in the whole world in the history of forever. Oh, how happy you guys make me with your awesomeness.

  • neofashionista

    I dont like her gym hair booo
    however he looks amazing

  • butterflysunita

    Good for him.  Love to see a male star who’s actually putting in some effort.  

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    First Jude Law, now Bradley Cooper-gentlemen,you have made my day so much brighter.  Oh, and Zoe looks good, too!

  • jw_ny

    They each get 10s from me…just fab!  🙂

  • quiltrx

    I am unable to look at these two…I’m too upset that the likes of Jeremy Irons (and even Dennis Quaid) are damned-near cropped out of this picture!

    I’m pretty sure Bradley isn’t worthy to carry Jeremy’s jockstrap, as they say.

  • jmorino08

    Zoe’s dress would be so much better without the peekaboo thighs.

  • LambeeBaby

    He looks great and although I liked her dress initially, that pointy bit dribbling out of her lady parts spoils it for me.
    I would have loved a wider shot that included more Jeremy Irons and Randy Quaid.

    • ThaliaMenninger

       I liked the dress, too, until I read your post and went back to look at the pointy lady bits. So wrong! (Psst… It’s Dennis Quaid, the one who used to be married to Meg Ryan and has a new TV show where he’s a sheriff in Las Vegas in 1960. Randy is the older, uglier, totally crazy one who got into legal trouble for skipping on a hotel bill and then maybe breaking into and living in somebody else’s house? And for not showing up in court. I think he and his even crazier wife were trying to get asylum in Canada. Cause that makes so much sense when you’re a political refugee like Randy Quaid.)

      • LambeeBaby

        I always get their names messed up. Since Dennis looks like his name should be Randy since, for some odd reason, I associate the the name Randy with someone more attractive. You would think that crazy asylum mug shot would have cured me.

  • You rating is on point.  Not bad but not perfect.

  • CatherineRhodes

    He deserves a hard, solid 10.

  • pokokpuding

    That girl is the reigning world champion of red carpet posing. 

  • PinkLemon

    that SUIT. i love. has bradley been coloring his hair? it looks darker…..and inky. also just discovered him on nip/tuck – a GEM.

  • MarissaLG

    That color is terrible on her. It makes her skin look yellow and kinda sickly. He looks pretty good. 

  • formerlyAnon

    Her front view is at least a full half point below the rear view, but I’ll say an 8.5 is certainly fair.

    I fear I am over-generous because of his awesome hair and totally awesome smile, but that suit deserves a 9. I agree with the 8.5 because I hate the perma-stubble look, but I imagine that deduction will be disallowed by the official judges. Since perma-stubble is, and has been for over a decade, a “thing.”

  • Sorry, the sparkly merkin bit ruins it forever.  Even on her.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    this is herb tarlek. I think that he’s better than that … this time…

  • chitowndg

    I don’t mind the dress for “pre-fall”.  I think it is perfect for the season.  I just wish there had been a lining to the dress.  I would at least have tried a layer (or two) of sheer lining before I went to an opaque lining.