All On The Line S3E1: Unruly Heir

Posted on September 17, 2012

Darlings, it’s BACK! Yes, it’s time once again to gather ’round the television set like a family and watch all the veins in Joe Zee’s neck pop out as he screams at stupid people who don’t deserve a minute of his time! All while wearing super-cute things like monogrammed varsity jackets that make us a little jealous!

Meet Unruly Heir. One of them is Joey and one of them is Jon, but we have no idea which one is which. It took us 20 minutes to figure out they weren’t brothers. There’s douchebag frat boy, who’s living off his rich daddy’s largesse and basically using up oxygen, and then there’s serious designer dude who wears glasses most of the time.

Frat boy plays his character to the hilt while glasses frets over the fact that he doesn’t have a rich, indulgent daddy. Apparently, their line made a minor splash a while back and they’ve been coasting on their one tiny burst of good press since.

Also: they hang out at SUPER-douchey places like this.

Enter Joe Zee, who looks like he’d rather be floating in a vat of hand sanitizer at the moment. The boys show them some of their latest work:

And it’s awkward, to say the least. But it does have some cute touches; some little bits that hint at a point of view somewhat more expansive than simply “Dude.”

Ever committed to the hard work of fashion, Joe humiliates himself in public just to show the boys how assy their clothes look out in the world.

The point is largely lost on them as they wave Joe off as too old for their designs, ignoring his point that no one out in the world, young or old, is dressing this way.

Joe brings in Mario Lopez, who acts all prim and Victorian lady, like he didn’t make his career by taking his shirt off as much as possible. Joe asked the boys to make him a tux for the Emmys, and after wisely steering them away from purple, got them to offer up this midnight blue version:

Which looked, to us, like it had quite a bit in the way of fit issues.

But it did have some nice touches, like the paisley under the collar. This seems to be their thing: dude clothes with nice touches. It’s not a bad niche to be in.

Later, Joe brings in Stephanie Trong from The Cut and douchebag fratboy plays his role to the hilt, spewing douchebaggery in every direction. She storms out, fuming.

To be followed by Joe, who then storms back in and LAYS THE SMACK DOWN ON THESE DUMB WHITE BOYS. Oh, kittens. It was a glorious thing to see. We could watch Joe Zee yell at dumb people all day. Fratboy eventually apologizes and promises to eat all his vegetables from now on and to stop picking his nose in front of company.

Joe orders them both to make a mini-line for Scoop or so help him, he’ll turn this reality show right around. The boys hang their heads, kick the dirt, and say, “Aw shucks, Mr. Zee. We didn’t mean to make you cross.”

And despite the usual setbacks and potential for disaster, they actually managed to pull a decent collection together.

Like we said, the aesthetic here is “dude clothes with a little extra something.” That can get awfully close to Ed Hardy territory if they’re not careful, but we love this look, right down to the embroidered pocket. The jacket’s a little awkward but the whole look feels very right now.

Love the touches like the seersucker pocket and the paisley lining. They bump these pieces up from being more than the same-0ld. Great color palette too.


We liked the cardigan but we took the point that the Scoop buyer made when she said it looked a little on the feminine side. We think it looks fine styled as it is, but on a hanger, it’ll take the average male convincing to try it on. Love the paisley shirt. And the embroidered pocket, again.

Love the pocket and the collar detail on the shirt underneath, but we can’t really get behind the animal print fabric around the bottom.

LOVE the seersucker hoodie and the shorts. That animal print is both cute and kind of hip-looking. The t-shirt’s okay, if pretty standard.

Like the tuxedo they made for Mario Lopez, we thought the fit here was problematic and wound up coming away with the impression that suiting is not their forte. Which is fine, because we think they have a great handle on casual sportswear for men. Scoop thought so too, because they’re featuring their line.

Is there no task too great for Joe Zee, people? He can get douchey frat boys to cry, apologize, and hug him at the end. Truly a modern guru.

“All on the Line” is back on tonight at 9 eastern on the Sundance Channel, and with Fashion Week over, we’ll be back to recapping all the episodes, including the one that we shot for the upcoming season.

You heard us. And we got really bitchy!

 

[Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

    • Maria Rosenfire

      I can’t believe I forgot this was coming on! I’ll have to keep an eye out for reruns so I can watch Mr. Zee smack down some fratboys, which sounds delicious. Luckily Sundance Channel is about 3/4 reruns, so I’m not too worried.

      Can’t wait to see you two on there!

    • j_anson

      Loathe their naming conventions, but that probably just means they’ll appeal to their target audience. :

      • James Mintz

        Their target audience is apparently walking zombies as the faces in their sketches are Walking Dead prototypes.

        • j_anson

          Man, you’re not wrong. What’s up with that? Are they incapable of drawing or is that really just part of their aesthetic?

    • sweetlilvoice

      Great post, I too enjoyed the smackdown of the frat boys. I thought the glasses designer guy was really talented but Frat Boy had to be involved due to his dad fronting all the money. I guess he really was an unruly heir. I loved Joe Zee swearing up a storm! You could tell he was justifiably ticked off that they blew off free press.

      Frat Guy had a cute smile, I have to say…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Cleary/1201575213 Patrick Cleary

      So their line on scoop is three tshirts that could have been made on CafePress? I am dissapoint.

    • http://twitter.com/The_Bugler Anna Daugherty

      I don’t watch this show, but the plus size shop Domino Dollhouse apparently has an episode this season, and I can’t wait for that one!

      • MilaXX

         It’s Oct 15th I think. I cannot wait to see it! I don’t wear a lot of their things, but I have 1 jacket from them I LOVE.

      • CozyCat

        I think I saw that Korto (from PR) gets an episode.

    • MzzPants

      Oh…I love you so much!  Hilarious recap!

    • IAmJ

      Oy, wish I had Sundance Channel. I would totally watch the shit out of this show. The JZ varsity jacket is the bomb. And look at you guys, you’re back on AOTL? And italics-bitchy?  Awesome!

    • http://heartprintandstyle.blogspot.com Vivi N

      This was such a great episode but only one of the guys was a douchebag frat boy – Joey. Lumping Jon into your insults kinda irked me. lolol. Only because Jon really listened to Joe Zee and considered his suggestions without getting defensive and back talking. He worked his tail off. Joey was the dickhead here and I’m glad Joe Zee put him in his place. One can tell that Jon had to suck up the bs that is Joey because Joey was bringing in the dough c/o of his dad. He was damn near stuck in his situation.
      The Dad had a very hippy-ish quality to him. 

      Regarding Unruly Heir, I was impressed with their collection. Especially, the details like the embroidered pocket and the paisley print underneath the collar.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/TWAL66B4EJKOEBPVR4HTB7LYOI Alexandra

        Jon was so passive though. He really is the artist and visionary and if he could deep-six Joey he’d be much better off. I liked a lot of the final collection. Jon should just say “adios mo-fo” to Mr. Frat Boy. Yuck.

        • H3ff

          What the fuck does Frat Boy even do anyway, apart from the money? He just kept talking about how he “embodied the lifestyle of the brand”. I could not roll my eyes hard enough.

      • MilaXX

        Agreed. That why I hope Jon saves his pennies and uses this show to make some new contacts. Joey will screw up again and if Jon pays his cards right, he can walk away from this trainwreck.

    • PastryGoddess

      OMG I missed it :(  

      Running to DVR right now

    • muzan-e

      Okay, so – Joe storms down the stairs after that cataclysmic meeting with Ms. Trong.
      Joe thunders down those stairs like he’s going to cut a bitch, and the moment he leaned right into that kid’s space I actually thought that he might.  You’re a fuckin’ brat, he snaps – 

      And forgive me for saying this, but…

      It was so damn hot. *g*

    • hughman

      I think some of these clothes are fine although it comes off as a little “low rent Paul Smith” sometimes.

    • YoungSally

      TLo — spot on with the Ed Hardy comment — it didn’t occur to me watching the show…but it is now uberclear.

      That said, if they are aiming at the Ed Hardy demographic (which I really abhor)….they could really do it….unfortunately.

      Unruly Heir — couture for doucheb**gs by a doucheb**G (and another guy who is really doing all the work).

      • Lingus

        I agree that the clothes are close to be overly embellished like Ed Hardy and Affliction crap, but I think these clothes are a little too precious to ever appeal to their demographic. Fratbag and Glasses seem to be aiming more for the Opening Ceremony and (maybe with some finessing?) Band of Outsiders hipster crowd.

        That said, I am a (reluctant) hipster girl and I so want all these clothes for myself. Minus the kerchief because, you know, reluctant.

    • gabbilevy

      I know a lot of guys, mostly gay, who would love this stuff. Faves: seersucker hoodie, short-sleeved paisley shirt, cardigan. 

    • mjude

      im sad that i dont get this show

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Linda-Harris/1358701372 Linda Harris

        I have Dish and it dropped Sundance, so I watched it on line at the Sundance Channel web site

      • CozyCat

        Comcast (or their new name “Xfinity”, sigh…) has it On Demand–check for Sundance Channel under the “networks” heading.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I’ll take one of those seersucker hoodies. kthanks

    • Le_Sigh

      YAAAAAAAS!  I will be watching – your recaps are priceless.

    • Anathema_Device

      This was a fun episode. The spoiled poser rich kid was aggravating to watch, but I loved seeing Joe go all Corky St. Clair on him. (“I just hate you and I hate your ass face!”)

      I am so glad I got a Tivo season pass for this last year b/c I didn’t know it was returning. Looked at my Tivo menu and there it was, a guilty pleasure awaiting me!

      • Eileen White

        Yes! It was Corky! Rich frat boy was indeed bastard people!

    • alyce1213

      I have such a crush on Joe Zee.  Is that crazy?

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        You have company…maybe we’re both a tad crazy,no? 

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

        Only for the odds – at one point during the episode Joe Zee made a comment about something being gayer than he is. 

      • MilaXX

         if it does come sit by me.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      I agree – this pretty decent sportswear for guys. The model wearing the Nantucket Red Pants has an awesome ass, which helps!

    • MilaXX

      I think frat boy is Joey. My impressions? He’s faking for the cameras. I didn’t buy that come to Jesus moment for a second. I love that we were reminded that Jon i the artist. I just hope Jon saves his cash and use this moment of fame from being on the show to make some connections because I can see Joey doing a Lohan real quick.  Overall I like the collection and think there is a market for the clothes. I’ll be watching to see what Mario looks like this this Sunday. BTW, I totally agree with you that a man who stripped down to his skivvies and painted himself gold to promote a underwear line should not be getting the vapors at the thought of a purple suit.

    • CQAussie

      1. The bulldog was a nice touch.  Very Van Wilder but minus hot Ryan Reynolds.  More’s the pity.
      2. I can’t believe I missed this!  I will have to set the DVR!
      3. I ran into Mario Lopez in Chicago – he was leaving a restaurant, I was going in, I was right in front of him….one more step and I’d have head butted the guy.  There was eye contact.  I apparently froze and forgot to slobber all over him so he swept past and ended up taking photos outside with 20 year olds before being whisked away.  Damn it.  Closest I’ve been to a celeb, ever.
      4.  All the drawings of men make me feel very much creeped out!
      5. Yes, I tell the Mario Lopez story every single chance I get….=)

      • http://profiles.google.com/shannonlstewart Shannon Stewart

         I understand.  I was bizarrely thrilled to run into Bill and Giuliana Rancic at the grocery store one night, and so proud that I managed not to make an ass of myself.  Apparently they grocery shop at 11 pm, and she looked so incredibly normal that I know find her so much more appealing. 

        Neither of us top the day my dad, who was a HUGE Bears fan and said the same thing during every football game ever — “The offensive line is the most important part of any team” (Guess what he played?).  His favorite player ever was Dick Butkas, and he actually met him in a bar at a ski lodge one day.  Talked to the guy for 20 minutes about the game (Butkas was retired by then) that was playing in the bar.  Really nice chat.  Then my mom walked in just as the guy was leaving, having already excused himself, and my dad said something about him being a nice guy and knowing a lot about the game.  He hadn’t recognized him out of context.  My mother had to point it out to him. 

    • greyhoundgirl

      I also liked the details and almost gagged every time rich kid opened his mouth.  Also–I had to laugh at the bandannas in the back pockets.  Surprised you guys didn’t pick up on this.  I could just hear rich kid asking good artist kid–“Wait a minute–which side means I’m a bottom and which side means I’m a top?  I keep getting them confused.  And what do the colors mean again?”  

    • kat89

      I had to admire Joe Zee’s restraint when dealing with douchey frat boy. I would have hauled off and punched him. I couldn’t understand why Glasses would put up with so much crap from this guy. I was hoping that Glasses, who seems to be the talent of this duo, would just up and quit and start his own line. He’s doing all the work, he should make all the money.

      • MilaXX

        because frat boy was the link to the funding to keep the line going. 

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      That was the most enjoyable thing I read all day. Oh Joe Zee we love you so. But I am especially excited to see the T and the Lo coming to my very own TV so soon!

    • Rand Ortega

      Yay!

    • rainwood1

      I can’t watch AOTL because we don’t get the Sundance channel and I’m not a big enough fan of the show to pay for it, but I’ll be sorry to miss your epi, T Lo.  

      Not sure about the clothes and their marketability, but at least rich frat dude seems to love his dog.

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gabriella M

        They used to sell individual eps on iTunes. Could try there when TLo pop up. 

    • Lulu Lafurge

      Eh. I like the little touches when they’re surreptitious, like inside the cuff or collar, or odd, like those tiny paisleys on the shirt. But the appliqued pockets, etc., are too crafty — too girly. (Though I love seersucker.)

    • sk8tfan

      Wait, I’ve never heard of this show. And it’s in season 3?? Eek! Must upgrade my cable service.

    • http://www.facebook.com/bert.keeter Bert Keeter

      ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ………

    • janetjb

      Love angry Joe.  Looking forward to seeing “really bitchy” T Lo!

    • Introspective

      This ep was JZ at his finest!! (both professionally and visually – damn that dude is adorable when hes angry…)

      Rich frat boy was *insufferable*. I really feel bad for the designer in this outfit as hes the all the talent with none of the cash. And the collection turned out better than I expected- reflective of the designers true skill. I love his illustrations. Those bits alone make the pieces in this line really pop. Fashion illustrators do some amazing work when they are really good- Im thinking folks like a Ruben Toledo for ex.

      so excited for this season. AOTL is not just highly entertaining but a true education in the business of fashion. Lurv.

    • bellafigura1

      Every single item is awful, sorry Uncles.

    • kaycem

      thank you so much for this post — i had no idea it was on already, but i’ve added it to the dvr queue now.  trying to find s3e1 on OnDemand now because i really want to see joe zee make some dudebros cry.

    • tinyredlocks

      So glad you are recapping this again! Love this show!!!

    • dress_up_doll

      I’ve been waiting for your re-cap of this episode and you boys did not disappoint. When Joe went off on the frat boy I got chills and wondered what you boys would have to say about it. Thanks for picking it up again. Hilarious!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jossie.vons Jossie Vons

      This is John’s website if anyone was curious to see more of his work.
      http://www.johngagliano.com

    • ccm800

      searsucker hoodie please
       

      • mhleta

        I can NOT believe he gets laid. That seersucker hoodie is birth control as far as I’m concerned. It’s got douchebag written all over it.

    • geeeque

      the frat boy, i think he’s borderline retarded or something. he kept sticking his tongue out in the creepiest oogiest way. he looks like he slips roofies. but as my husband says, it’s not like these guys are trying to fool anyone: their line is called “unruly heir” for god’s sake. it’s right there in the name. 

    • Thathoodwink

      I never heard of this mess!

    • mbelchic

      I love this show but I HATE HATE HATE these looks-Talk about fit problems-

    • CPK1

      OMG, I can’t wait to see you on this!!!!!!!! I think I might self-combust when I see you on TV!

    • Frank_821

      We watched this episode last night ONDemand on Time Warner. Wow seeing Joe go off on these guys was some sight.

      I know it’s easy to put everything on Joey but I think they are both equally to blame. It’s clear Joey was a spoiled, lazy guy who didn’t take the business seriously enough-always thinking daddy would bail him out. However John struck me as enabling Joey. 5 years c’mon! And he clearly very passive and does not have any better sense. Why didn’t he think to hem those pants or get a tie for Mario’s tuxedo?

      Hopefully they will get their act together in the long run. Joey seems like the guy who came up with the vision and has many ideas where John is the one who is able to turn them into a reality

    • AdamBR

      At first I thought it said John Galliano. Then I read the link again and said “Oh, Gagliano,” which I though is a play on Joey being a douche (thus, gag). Then I got to the website and said, “Oh. Wow. Good stuff.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/jossie.vons Jossie Vons

        Haha, yeah the Galliano/Gagliano similarity is strictly coincidental.  John’s been making art for way longer than he’s been in fashion.

    • AdamBR

      1. Joe, Joey, and John. That’s funny.
      2. I think in all three seasons of AOTL (so far), it’s in this episode where Joe dropped the most number of F-bombs. Rightfully so. Joey’s “thicker” (owing up to his fratboy persona) than the other designers Joe has scolded. Had he just yelled at him about not getting anything done and insulting Stephanie, Joey would most likely have brushed it off as if it’s another night in the frathouse. 
      3. While Joe’s laying the smackdown on Joey, you can see John smiling. Obviously, he kept his criticisms of Joey to himself because of dad’s financial backing; and was happy that someone finally said what he’s been dying to for five years.
      4. Minus fit issues and some questionable fabric choices, I actually liked what they presented both to the Scoop buyers and to Joe the first time he met them. I even disagreed with Joe when he said adding the hood to the vest made it look terrible, I actually thought it was a nice touch. (I don’t wear hoodies myself, however.)
      5. Obviously there are a lot more factors in play (and the captioning may be exaggerated or deliberately incorrect), but I really never understood why the designers only would get cracking on their collection mere days before they are to present them. If I have a once-in-a-fashion-lifetime chance to present six outfits to a buyer, I’d drop almost everything and get started right away. Is it because they want to get Joe’s approval first before finishing the collection?
      6. Kind of sucks they only have three T-shirts on sale at Scoop at the moment. They do have more on their website though, but none of those that were presented. Maybe it’s for the next season?

      • Jessie Voris

        The looks presented to Scoop are for next season. I’m excited to see the pieces they decided on!

        • AdamBR

          That’s what I thought too. Excited to see their clothes finished and refitted as necessary. 
          Thank you!

    • julnyes

      Dish Network has dropped the Sundance Channel – I am not a happy camper.

    • AuntieAnonny

      I would kill for that seersucker hoodie.

    • quiltrx

      They’ve got the 1st season on Netflix now (I don’t have Sundance), and I’ve plopped it into my queue.  Can’t wait til they put up this season so I can see Joe yell at these twats!

    • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

      These two were hilarious. ‘Dude, I got so drunk last night, I woke up in the fashion industry’.

    • autiefan

      I just watched an All on the Line marathon to gear up for the new season. I especially liked the “behind the scenes” Nicole Miller runway show in which you guys were courted as the fashion blog gods that you are. Well done — and what fun finally seeing ya’ll in the flesh. I’m hoping if I watch long enough I’ll actually see Jessica and Heather from Go Fug Yourself . . .

    • DCSheehan

      A truly odd episode. An I the only one who thought the frat boy had a condition? I’m no expert but he appeared to be something more than just a douchebag. Hated the collection, bar the shorts. Mario Lopez looked shifty. And I’m now determined to have a purple tux made because I bet it would look killer. Dammit, menswear is crying out for new ideas and a blue that’s almost black ain’t it.

      • geeeque

         totally agree about douchebag’s “condition”. did you notice how he kept sticking his tongue out? weird.

    • mhleta

      This was my first taste of AOTL–I watched this episode on the Sundance web site. I’m so glad you used the word “douchebag frat boy” to describe this kid, because, boy does it fit. I’m truly surprised he doesn’t get the shit pounded out of him every time he shows his face at that basketball court, or opens his mouth at all. What an insufferable little narcissist. The thing that amazed me most was that he couldn’t articulate who his target market was. It certainly isn’t the swag-tastic young men who play hoops at 4th Street. It’s douche-y new money frat boys like himself. Trust-fund shit heads who want to have the gravitas of old money but have not clue what class is. I thought the clothes read as Garanimals for dickheads who refuse to grow up. Man, if I was in the military and had gotten a limb shot off to protect the freedom of these self-indulgent little pricks I’d be beyond pissed. So glad Joe ripped them a new one, but I wish he’d been meaner about it. Man, I’m steamed.