Tika Sumpter in Bill Blass

Posted on August 16, 2012

Tika Sumpter, welcome to your first appearance here at T Lo Nasty Bitches, LLC! We’ll keep our critiques brief and simple. You didn’t think there wouldn’t be any, did you? Oh, HONEY. Come now.

Don’t be scared! You know how, at the doctor’s office, just before a needle, they tell you, “You’ll feel a little prick?” Well it’s like that, except you’ll feel two of them this time.

Tika Sumpter attends The Cinema Society with Circa and Alice & Olivia screening of “Sparkle” in New York City in a Bill Blass gown.

Bill Blass Fall 2012 Collection

Tika: Everything is too long. You look like you’re melting. You wanna wear the glittery, gold, granny panty gown? You go right ahead. But only if you don’t wind up standing in a puddle of fabric. Also: your basset hound hair is freaking us out. Darling, why on earth would you pick a glittery, gold, granny panty gown and then cover it up with massive extensions? Flip those things over your shoulders so we can get a look at you, girl.

There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images, style.com]

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  • DeborahJozayt

    The prettiest part about this dress is the pleating at the shoulders. Too bad they’re incognito!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208138556 Sara Munoz Munoz

      My thoughts exactly. Why do the ladystars keep doing that????

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Eek.  That’s quite a SIGHT to face first thing in the morning. Makes me want to right back to bed, but I’m afraid I’d have bad dreams of drowning in metallic knit fabric as lousy acrylic hair extensions tried to throttle me.

    • mjude

      i will hold your hand & we will get through this.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

         You’re such a good friend. 
        (rocking in corner)

        • mjude

          there there…

  • RebeccaKW

    I actually love the idea of the dress-I wish it wasn’t see-through with a bathing suit underneath.  It needs major hemming.  And she definitely needs that hair up to show off the beautiful detail of the shoulders.

    Gorgeous face but, may I suggest bangs?

    • MissAnnieRN

      ME too.  I think it would be much more stunning if I wasn’t focused on the leotard I can see underneath it.  

    • http://twitter.com/delysia_lafosse Delysia LaFosse

      Agreed. The long, flat-ironed extensions are distracting from her lovely features. Bangs would look great on her… but can we trust her not to wear them, also, too long and too flat?

      • RebeccaKW

         Doubtful.  She probably style them like Kimora Lee Simmons styled her fake clip in bangs.  Exactly as you describe. 

  • http://twitter.com/sebwfu Shannon Beamer

    HA, basset hound hair.  I DIE.  Also, I am — much like a magpie — almost guaranteed to like gold, sparkly things.  Which is why you know the “granny panty gown” thing is really a problem, because I do not like this.  When will that trend just die?

  • annie_wonder

    This dress is crying out for  a Dianna Ross style fro.

    • http://twitter.com/Kathy_Marlow Kathy Marlow

      Totally..she’d have almost been a WERQ (minus the puddle of fabric)

    • Eva_baby

      Yup, she’s a pretty, pretty girl and the dress is fine, thought not to my taste.  But it really needs big hair, not long flat hair.  She needed to rock a disco fro or wild curly ‘do with this.  It would have bumped up the look 10x.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      …a fro ike in the movie Mahogany OR Ross’ recent (disasterous) tour with the “real, original Supremes?”

    • Rand Ortega

      Thank you! I was thinking of KRow’s do from yesterday, which is a modernization of Miss Ross.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

       Or maybe Kelly Rowland’s fantastic ‘do from yesterday. 

    • Susan Crawford

      Oh, absolutely YES! That would have been awesome. Ahhh, Madame Ross – I grovel before you.

  • VanessaDK

    Visible undergarment not bothering you? It isn’t pretty to me.

    • formerlyAnon

       I don’t like it, but it’s showing on the model as well – it’s part of the look. Why, designers, why?

  • Sobaika

    That’s a lovely gown that needs someone capability to make it work. She’s a pretty girl but put her in fashion training wheels first.

  • SewingSiren

    I like the idea of a stretch sheer gold sheath dress. But the way the raglan sleeve is gathered at the armhole is kind of half hearted and it looks like a mistake. The body suit , which appears to be sewn into the dress is terrible. It looks like the wrong color the model and even worse for Tika.

  • http://twitter.com/holocausticity E. Sevilla

    i think i’m gonna be the only one who thinks she looks fabulous…

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/FEP56YB4DUIXBWSLIMSSSGQHWY jimmack

      I think so.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I think she’s pretty close, but as TLo pointed out the obvious errors.  A bit more pulled together and I’d have let the granny panty situation have a pass. 

    • http://profiles.google.com/susanvmayer Susan Mayer

       It’s close, but the only problem is that the bodysuit looks to be a nude color.  She needs a different colored one.

      • rawrgrowlrawr

        That’s the problem with calling that beige color “nude.” It is only truly nude if the lady in question has light skin. 

  • http://www.lippsisters.com/ Deborah Lipp

    “Granny panty gown” is hereby banned from the English language. And my brain. And my visual memory.

    If only.

  • Scarlet39

    I most disturbed by the granny panty outline that is clearly visible. 

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      Me too.  It looks terrible.  Why would anyone want to go out in public, much less have your picture taken, wearing that? 

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      The problem with this particular see through granny panty scenario is that it seems like a wardrobe malfunction, not something intentional.  And that just makes me embarrassed for her.  

      • lovelyivy

         Nah, you cans ee the panties ont he model too. It’s inexplicably on purpose.

    • kimmeister

      I just don’t like how pointy her crotch looks.

      • HM3

        I nearly died laughing, reading this comment. Couldn’t agree more.

  • Le_Sigh

    Thank god her makeup / face is pretty.  

    • homespunner

      Can’t see the pretty face under the heavy foundation.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Yish. 

  • RzYoung

    I’m generally not a fan of parading ones knicky-knocky-noos in public. The style’s been around for a while now and no one really makes it looks good. Plus awful hair.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      I think Beyonce did once, in a fashion magazine.  Tika is no Beyonce. 

    • Susan Crawford

      “Knicky-knocky-noos”! Perfection!

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Barbie doll.  The sewn in hair, the arms that won’t unbend, the visible plastic lady area.  If you turn her around, I bet there is a button you can push that makes her huge 4 pound eye lashes blink.

    • Judy_J

      You got that right.  She looks totally plastic.  Her face even looks like a Barbie face….right down to the painted on frozen smile.

  • Tamara Hogan

    Um, who is Tika Sumpter? 

  • gabbilevy

    You guys aren’t pricks!

    But you are, as always, right about the girl. C’mon sweetie, you’ll get it better next time.

  • Trisha26

    The lighter colored panel (or it is actually attached undergarments?) is disturbing. Don’t mind the hair at all.

  • l_c_ann

    The dress has some interesting sleeve features that are totally lost.  The long straight oriental extensions look silly, sort of like when Cher wore an eighteen inch afro.

    The woman has a great body, the dress isn’t too tight, but the fabric puddle….how does she walk in it?

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      That Bill Blass definitely needed something a little less standard for the hair treatment. You need those shoulders to take attention away from all the see-through.

  • Susan Crawford

    Mr. B. would NOT have approved of the length of this gown. And I know, because my mother worked for him for many years as a fit model. He was a meticulous man in every sense of the word, from his own sartorial choices (oh, those immaculate navy blazers and those shoes shined so magnificently that when the sun caught them you were blinded!) to the decor of his homes, to the clothing he loved to design for his “gals”, as he called them.

    No, this is too long. And I think Mr. B. would NOT have sent anything down the runway that showed panties. I do like the general idea of the dress, and with some tweaks it could have been fabulous: very 1930′s deco influenced.

    Once again, I find that my pop-culture meter has failed, because I have NO idea who Tika Sumpter is, but nonetheless, I welcome her to the land of Bitter Kittens and Precious Unborn Fawns. Don’t be afraid of Uncles Tom and Lorenzo, dear – they have your best interests at heart.

    The hands-on-hips pose is not doing the dress any good, Miss Tika, but you’ll learn more variations on the step-and-pose game in no time. Have a nice long chat with your hair and makeup people, though. There’s NO reason to freeze your pretty face under all that foundation, and the hair is overwhelming. I mean REALLY overwhelming.

  • ASK26

    The Length is the issue?   seems like there are bigger issues

     This is not flattering on the model either

  • julnyes

    She’s lovely, but the puddle-see-through-dress and lopsided extensions (weave?) is killing me.

  • MilaXX

    Nice to see all the new faces this week. Sadly so far none of them have worn a decent look. Ms Sumpter here is wearing curtain hair and a glittery see through gown. I CANNOT wait for the sheer gown phase to be over with.

  • jeeplibby02

    Bill Blass is still around?

  • librarygrrl64

    Ugh, that hair is AWFUL!!!

  • crash1212

    I guess the strategy here was: We don’t like a design element in this granny-panty dress – namely that gathered shoulder nonsense – so, let’s just cover it up with a curtain of fake hair that we’ve ironed stick straight. Epic fail…on all counts. 

  • http://twitter.com/Goldielox73 Goldie

    In the picture of the model, I see a faint hint of nipple.  If the top is sheer like the bottom, the hair could be to cover her chesticle area.  That’s just to my eyes though.

    ETA: She could have worn an undergarment of some sort to avoid that but maybe she didn’t like the way that looked.

  • TheOriginalLulu

    OMG. The dress doesn’t even look good on the model.
    Those x-tensions are laughable and she’s got drag queen eyebrows. Go home and start over, girl. 

  • Susan_El

    Wow.  All I can think of is:  ”Disco Gyno Gown, now with a convenient built-in Cooch Locator!  Recommended by OBGYNs throughout the country.”  (Full disclosure here:  until I began my full-time job lurking on this board, I was completely unfamiliar with the term “cooch”.  TLo:  Come here not just for the snark but to expand the vocabularies of loyal Bitter Kittens here on Planet Mirth!)

  • kimmeister

    Her face could’ve used something other than neutral colors.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clydette-Wantland/673315286 Clydette Wantland

    Hate the big V point on the gown which says, look at my Vjay-jay

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      maybe that’s why she felt she had to cover it up with her grandma’s panties.  i was shocked to see the same look on the runway.

  • Imasewsure

    I was thinking “Morticia Adams weave” but “basset hound hair” is even better…. make it go away.  

  • http://twitter.com/GaraStJames Gara St. James

    Love Tika, familiar with her already from her time on “One Life To Live.” Gold looks good on her, but not this dress. Hope that “Sparkle” gives her career the boost it deserves.

  • MoHub

    I simply do not want to see anyone’s underwear any more unless they’re modeling for Victoria’s Secret.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      i wouldn’t mind seeing her underwear if they were cute.  this is hideous.

  • http://blue-again.myopenid.com/ blue

    I thought that arrow pointing to her crotch was part of the dress! I can’t decide if it’s better or worse that it’s actually her underwear visible through the dress. 

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    As much as I love my own Granny Panties – this looks like she is wearing a white Olympic Gymnast Unitard under a gold net.  Nope.  NOPE.

  • http://twitter.com/ndpndntfilm Susan Velazquez

    I absolutely hate it when fabric drags. It’s why I never wear maxi dresses.

  • http://phantomminuet.blogspot.com/ MinAgain

    “Flip those things over your shoulders so we can get a look at you, girl.”

    This.  To infinity and beyond.

  • TSkot

    Bill is spinning in his grave over this shapeless unflattering mess

  • http://twitter.com/grooxcore Marie Ee

    I CANNOT with the visible grannypanty.

  • Aurumgirl

    Glittery see through granny gown with puffed shoulders.  Aren’t we done with those yet, this time around?  

  • LambeeBaby

    I like Basset Hounds so much more than her hair.